Feel Good Friday – Happy Chewbacca

by admin on May 27, 2016

Through the Internet, readers really have little clue as to what I am really like in real life. This woman could be me. I’m a Star Wars (and Star Trek, Serenity, Dr. Who) fan, I find great delight and humor in the small pleasures of life and I belly laugh a lot like her. She could be my twin. If she hadn’t done this, I would have.

And to complete the fun, someone songified the video:


Let Them Eat Cake Frosting (Not)

by admin on May 23, 2016

I’m still trying to decide if there was a polite way to handle an issue that happened at work.

Last week was a co-worker’s birthday and someone left a frosted cake in the break room for everyone to share.

My co-worker “Jane” (not the birthday celebrant) was heading out to a different office and I followed her into the break room (where our lockers are) as we finished a conversation. As I watched, Jane took a piece of cake, then ran her finger along the cake server to remove the frosting. She licked her finger, then flipped the server over, ran the same finger along that side and licked her finger again. Jane then casually set the server on the cake and left.

I grabbed the server and washed it thoroughly, but couldn’t figure out what to do with the portion of cake it had touched. The server had rested against about five slices, so simply tossing them out would have made an obvious dent (there were only about 12 slices total). Announcing to my remaining co-workers what had happened seemed cruel to Jane. She’s already not well-liked by some of our co-workers and this wouldn’t have helped.

In the end, I did nothing. I tell myself the cake probably wasn’t affected much, but I realize I’d want to know about something like this before I ate.

So, what SHOULD I have done?    0522-16

What you say as she is about to finish licking the other side of the server, “Please wash that before placing it on the cake again.”


I have noticed a trend among my family and friends who live in this area of the country regarding thank you notes that has become a pet peeve, but maybe ehellions can help me view it more charitably. Whether for a wedding or a child’s birthday party, people have been sending printed thank you cards with a picture of the honoree and a generic “Thank you for sharing my special day” message. Even their name is preprinted.

Am I completely out of line in thinking that this is about the sender making this more about them than actually thanking the recipient? I would rather receive a text or phone call after the event with a personalized message than a thank you that doesn’t actually acknowledge what the sender is thanking me for.

I’ll admit that I send Christmas cards like this – Merry Christmas from the family with a picture of the kids on it. Is this simply the same thing? Should I just be thankful that any sort of acknowledgement was sent and put less effort into personalizing gifts?  0516-16

When a thank you note is nothing more than a pre-printed, impersonal, generic acknowledgement of a gift, it has become a receipt.


Funeral Decor For An Infant

by admin on May 11, 2016

I have a question for you and my fellow readers, please.

I’ve recently started working for a cemetery as an arrangement coordinator and, odd as it sounds, the job is incredible. Most of the people I meet with are making arrangements for elderly parents and grandparents and, while very sad, it’s an honour to be able to help them.
In most cases, the funeral home looks after the service and I handle everything specifically related to the actual cemetery (reserving and preparing the space, arranging for a grave marker, and supervising the burial/entombment). Sometimes however, families don’t want a service and, when someone has been cremated without a service, it’s my job to place the deceased’s ashes in their space before the grounds crew closes it.
So that’s the background/context for my situation.

Next week I have to handle my first infant burial. The parents are completely lost and don’t speak English so they’ve been relying on friends to translate. These parents hand picked their space and have put so much love and thought into the process and my heart just hurts for them. They’ve opted for cremation without a service and they want to place some toys in the grave with the little urn.

I want so badly to do something for them on top of just doing my job well. The table that the urn is placed on before it’s buried is a boring, white plastic. Would it be out of line for me to make a small baby blanket to either cover the table or line the grave with? I don’t want to make a big production but I want to do something special. Would this be seen as hijacking their grief or being intrusive? They’ve asked for my input on their marker so I think it might be ok but I absolutely do not want to overstep here. Any advice or other ideas anyone has would be greatly appreciated. 0511-16


Feel Good Mother’s Day

by admin on May 6, 2016


Knock, Knock, Who Is There?

by admin on May 4, 2016

At the moment I share an apartment with a friend (quite common in that building). Some people there tend to leave their doors open all day or go about visiting neighbors. So it’s not too unusual if someone tries to open your door without knocking and come in without an invitation. Due to that, our door is usually locked because we value our privacy.

A few days ago an old lady (which we greet sometimes in the halls, but don’t really have a relationship with) knocked in the evening. I opened the door and told her that we were already in bed. She then asked for my friend. I told her she was sleeping, too.  Instead of going away she literally shoved me aside and came in.

While I was standing at the door open mouthed she proceeded to shake my friend who was lying on the couch, under a blanket, faking sleep. My friend told her again that she was trying to sleep. No use. The old lady grabbed a chair, sat down, shook my friend again and told us not to sleep because it was still light out.

We told her repeatedly we really wanted to sleep (we were already wearing pajamas) and weren’t willing to have a conversation with mostly hand and feet as there was a language barrier. She finally got the point after about ten minutes and left.

Granted, there was a language barrier, but I found that really impolite. I mean, we gave a lot of nonverbal clues that it was unwanted and were happily ignored.

How does one go about avoiding situations like this politely? 0501-16

If you were ready for bed, there was no reason why you would answer the knock on the door.  I ignore knocks on the door when I’m not available to spare that time.  The caveat is to answer the door if someone is knocking frantically seeking help.

At the moment anyone,  even a grey-haired old lady, attempts to shove past to gain entry to the domicile is the moment you tense your muscles, block the opening between the door and door jamb with your arm or whole body, and refuse to allow the door to swing open any further.   You say,  “I’m sorry, we are not available right now,”  and you shut the door.   Hospitality and politeness is not defined as being a doormat that allows boorish people to get their way.


Orange You A Nice Neighbor

May 3, 2016

It is spring, it has turned to a new month, I have a new neighbor moving in. I was in the backyard, sitting on my deck, enjoying the weather. Someone gave me a huge fruit flat of small clementine oranges (they’re small anyways but these were really tiny, some about an inch and a few […]

Read the full article →

Pushy Teen

April 26, 2016

My husband and I had a run in with a teen on Saturday that had us scratching our heads for the rest of the weekend. My family and I decided to go to the library this past Saturday. A kind older woman held the door for us and we went in with my 4 year […]

Read the full article →