This video is at least five years old but since I just discovered it, we’ll discuss the consequences of being a jerk after viewing…

The two teens “driving” the RC car appear to want to enjoy the benefits of a prank without suffering any of the potential consequences pranks have been known to elicit from their victims. So, they interfere on private property and tamper with a private game between two old dudes, one of whom doesn’t appreciate the humor of the prank so he clubs the RC car to death. ANNND the entitlement rises to the surface…how dare that old geezer destroy his RC car!

I note that the teen holding the camera lies not once but twice about the camera being off.


Blunder Or Bully

by admin on July 19, 2016

I’ve just run into a bit of an uncomfortable work situation here.

I work in an office that doesn’t have enough workstations. Consequently, we all have to share spaces and no one has an assigned desk or cubicle. Normally, this is fine because we’re never here all at once.

The area that I’m in can get a little crowded at times and power outlets are scarce. We each have a laptop and most of us generally use one outlet for that.

Today I’m with someone who I normally don’t work with. He’s an older gentleman who I’ve always had a great relationship with but who does tend to take offense to things very quickly and easily. We’re sharing a table and there’s one outlet between us.

My laptop needed to be plugged in right away and he had his laptop in one outlet and his phone charger in the other. His phone wasn’t charging and he was away in a meeting so I unplugged the charger that wasn’t in use to plug my laptop in.

Good lord.

He’s furious. According to him, what I did was extremely disrespectful and he cannot believe I’d have done such a rude thing to him. I thought he was joking at first so I laughed. He’s always pretending to be offended (it’s kind of annoying and getting old) and I thought this was one of those times. And that made it worse. He told me that he needs his phone to be charged for work (we all do) and I pointed out that I needed a charger too and that he can connect his charger to his laptop. He cut me off and insisted that what I did was “so unbelievably rude that he just can’t believe it but it’s fine”.

I understand that working in an older building with inadequate resources is the problem here but until the day comes when we have a new building, we’ve got to be considerate of each other too.

I struggle to assert myself and, when I started writing this post, I was feeling pretty guilty for having unplugged his charger. But as I think about it, I’m starting to think that perhaps he was completely out of line. What do you folks think? 0718-16

Is it possible to use a power strip?   The kind that plugs into an outlet but has multiple outlets for more than two devices?   Like these?


Or this would be cool for a shared desk space… 



Pokémon GO Away

by admin on July 18, 2016

As if I don’t have enough issues from a few months ago, a new one has landed on my doorstep, literally.

Pokémon GO launched. My yard has some really large ponds that have been there for years. I understand that a few “rare” water-based ones are apparently showing up in my yard. I  have a lot of people trying to trespass, and knocking on the door at all hours wanting into my yard.

There is a fellow elsewhere that has a home, that is a converted 1800’s church and his place was tagged as some sort of desired structure and he has people all over the place. Most of his apparently stay at the fence. And an animal rescue and adoption place encourages people to stop by and take a dog for a walk while they’re out walking and playing, apparently that is going well and some bonding and adoptions are happening from it.

Here I don’t have that luxury, and people are less polite, they want IN my yard no matter what. I did get a chow puppy a few months ago, and she is being taught how to guard her fence (and doggie manners, but) and I have put up No Trespassing-POSTED signs and Guard Dog On Duty signs. And a sign on the door that says “Don’t Knock, I’m Not Letting You Into My Yard” …they knock anyways.

I wish whoever released this “thing” would have a major repository of “rare” ones in their own yard so they could live with the public that think it’s okay to waltz in.

Where is a middle line between graciousness and being inundated by the general public glued to their cellphones and playing this game?   0713-16

Not being familiar with Pokémon,  I found a video which explains what it looks like to play the game…

It seems to me that if playing the game requires a person to walk around in public engaged in looking at an iphone screen held in front of them, there is a problem with not being aware of your surroundings and others.   Personal safety issues aside (predators will consider a distracted player to be a prime victim), the game encourages a lack of consideration of others in order to win.   Case in point….when a “rare” Vaporeon Pokémon spawned in Central Park around 11 pm recently.   This is what it looked like:

The driver in the car simply stops in the road, gets out and leaves his vehicle to go capture the Vaporeon, completely oblivious to the drivers behind him. And as the OP writes, there is little consideration or respect of her private property by players intent on acquiring Pokémon.

By all means have fun playing the latest digital game but do so with a belief that people are more important than Pokémon and respect personal and private property of others.


Selling Wine To The Canadians

by admin on July 12, 2016

I was reading the Bad Business Etiquette archives and it brought to mind an incident which occurred a few years ago. I’m not entirely sure that this qualifies as an etiquette faux pas but I thought your readers would get a kick out of it anyway. At the time I was really irritated but in retrospect, I can’t stop laughing. The incredulity I felt hasn’t faded in these three intervening years though…

For a conference, I had traveled to a small city near D.C. with a population of around 25K. Not large by any means but not small enough to have no exposure to the world outside. Btw, I’m Canadian. After a lovely day wandering around D.C. I drove my rental car to my hotel and stopped at a humongous chain department store for some toiletries I’d forgotten. While there, I noticed with glee that there was a wine section (the sale of alcohol is strictly controlled by my province and other than a couple of small, sanctioned, pop-up shops in grocery stores, the only way to buy alcohol in the city is to go to the provincial stores). After a few happy moments of browsing, I decided to pick up a bottle to enjoy with my dinner because well, why not! I took my purchases to the register and as expected, I was asked for I.D.

I explained that I was Canadian and that I had my driver’s license but perhaps the cashier would prefer to see my passport. Though this varies from state to state, my license has frequently been accepted as I.D. for alcohol purchases, especially in states close to the border. The cashier looked confused, took my license, looked at it and told me she couldn’t accept it. Okay, no problem. Would she like to see my passport? The response? “Well I need to see some American I.D.” I explained again that I was visiting from Canada and since I wasn’t American, I didn’t have any American I.D. but I did have my passport. I pulled it out. She looked at it dubiously and again asked, “Is it American because I need to see some American I.D.” Up to this point, I had been extremely pleasant, asking how her day was, joking about my excitement at finding wine in the store but she was seriously beginning to try my patience. She was a older lady and may have had a slight mental handicap so I fought to maintain my politeness and asked her what she felt we should do…perhaps there was a manager available? I was beginning to consider just leaving the wine behind but by then, I had already mentally pictured myself enjoying a glass and I was loath to walk away without it.

The cashier stopped a passing manager and told him, “She wants to buy a bottle of wine but she doesn’t have any I.D.” Yet again I explained that I did have a Canadian driver’s license but I understood if they couldn’t accept that. I also had my passport. By then, I may have begun to speak faster out of frustration. I was still quite polite. Manager also looked uncertain and confused. Three years later, I forget exactly what he said but it was enough to make me lose my cool and say, “So what you’re telling me is that you cannot sell alcohol to Canadians? Fine, forget it…forget the wine.” Maybe because he could see I was visibly upset, he took my passport. He was flustered himself and instead of checking the photo page to confirm my identity and my age, he started flipping through the pages reserved for visas. I asked him what he was looking for, perhaps I could help him find it. Turns out he was looking for the entry stamp (confuses me to this day…did he think I was an illegal alien?!). I was so agitated by then that I confused the date and accidentally showed him a Mexican entry stamp I had received earlier that year (I guess I flipped the month and day). As I showed it, I realized my mistake but before I could correct myself, he looked at it, nodded and told the cashier to sell me the wine!!!!!!!!!! 0708-16


It’s Curtains For This Marriage

by admin on July 11, 2016

I am in the process of moving 1,000 miles away with my three kids after a less than pleasant divorce. Three years ago, my ex husband and I decided a move to his home town where there was family around for love and support of our family (which at the time had 2 kids under 2) and would be the best chance at saving our marriage. Plus side was that his mother lives in a duplex and the other half that we stay in for visits and such had been offered as a free place to start over. The children and I moved first, so the oldest could start school on time, and he was to finish the sale of the house and follow within 3 months. Shortly after the children and I settled in to the other half of his mother’s duplex, he ‘asked’ for a divorce.

Fast forward 3 years…. I’m moving in 7 days. House is a mess, boxes are everywhere, I’m in full on “lets get everything in a box” mode.

Here’s my question…. I could not afford curtains when I moved in, so my ex-mother-in-law took me out shopping and purchased several sets of my choosing that have been “mine” for 3 years now. She said yesterday that the curtains are not mine, but belong to the house as she purchased them and need to be returned to the windows immediately. I’m not sure what to do here… I am returning them to avoid the fight, but was I wrong in presuming to take them with me? **Forgot to mention I have been paying rent to her since the divorce proceedings started. ** 0707-16

Unless it was given as a specific gift for an occasion (like your birthday), it’s best to not presume ownership of the curtains.    Mom-in-law did purchase the curtains and kindly gave you preference as to color that would match your decor but ultimately she owns them.

Btw,  when you move out of the duplex, try very hard to leave the place as good as you found it when you moved in 3 years ago or better.   The reason is that you do not want to leave any “ammo” in your wake that could be used against you.   Put the curtains back up, clean the house, repair what you can so you can leave the state and your in-laws with a conscience as clean as the house you left.


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Should I Pack My Summer Clothes For E-hell?

July 6, 2016

I live in a private development with a drive-up security gate in a high tourism area. On a holiday weekend, we can expect a backlog of cars of people visiting their vacation homes. This past weekend I pulled into the line of cars waiting to be let in. The waiting lane has painted lines and […]

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Everyone But You

July 5, 2016

I’m at a loss on how to respond to this situation. I am moving from my current city to New York, about a 5 hour drive away. I wanted “one last hurrah”, so I invited friends from college who live in the city, as well as friends who I see regularly but live a little […]

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