Yes, I am sending you away from EHell again. This time it’s to read a fascinating journey of a stolen cell phone that lead to China and celebrity status for the cell phone’s original owner. READ ON…..

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When 9-Year Old Girls Steal Your Joy

by admin on April 29, 2015

I was attending a midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show at a local theater, but was about an hour early. Midnight showings are meant to be wild, crazy, and sexy, with everyone having fun, so in the spirit of the show I had dressed up as “Columbia” from the “floor show” sequence of the film (it’s common for people to dress as characters). The outfit was very revealing, but I was wearing additional clothing while waiting in the lobby with some friends. However, I had lots of face paint on because the character wears clown-like face paint during the scene.

I saw a flash to the side of me, and turned to see some girls, aged about 9, taking photos of me without my consent and giggling. They had accidentally left the flash on, and acted shocked and embarrassed when I glared at them but soon resumed taking photos of me, laughing and making comments like “what a freak” purposely just loud enough for me to hear.   I have some social anxiety, and at this point I was devastated and depressed. I felt like a big idiot. I wanted to curl up under the table.

Soon, two adult women came over to the girls, who pointed me out and gleefully told them how weird I was. The women scolded the girls and told
them to leave me be, because “if her momma lets her go out in public like that, let her do it.” May I add that I am an adult, and my “momma” does not dictate how I dress. But I did appreciate them telling the girls they were wrong.

The women began to approach me. I thought they would apologize on behalf of the girls, but instead one of them said coldly to me “You know, they’re just kids. Okay?”
I was shocked but I managed to say “Uh…I know…”  She repeated, “Kids. They’re just little kids, okay?” Then she gave me a look that confirmed she, too, thought I was a product of Satan, and marched away with the kids in tow, still giggling and pointing their phones at me. No apology. She had the nerve to insinuate that I had been the rude one!   I haven’t been back to see the show at that theater again. I can’t bring myself to. 0425-15

 

For those unfamiliar with Rocky Horror Picture Show characters, this is what “Columbia” looks like.

Two of my daughters dress up in full costumed regalia for the premieres of movies like the Pirates of the Caribbean series and the Lord of The Rings/Hobbit movies so this custom is not unfamiliar to me.   It’s loads of fun and movie premieres can be highly anticipated events in our family primarily for the opportunity to show off costumes that have required months of preparation.  My daughter’s dwarf costume complete with realistic beard and craft foam “leather” armor was pretty amazing.

However, there is an unspoken understanding that wearing costumes in public places most certainly does attract attention.  The vast majority of it is positive or at least neutral.   My daughters have been asked to pose with theater patrons, particularly children, for photographs because  people perceive them as being a live interpretation of what they have or about to see.   It just adds to the fun for everyone.   Are there the occasional curmudgeons who whisper under their breath about how stupid it is to wear a costume? Yep, there sure are…and who gives a flying flip what they think?

You permitted a few 9-year old girls to steal your joy. Two total strangers who haven’t yet celebrated a double digit birthday had such enormous power over you that they changed your entire attitude and mood and altered your future behavior.  At Ehell.com, we really discourage the unfortunate practice of giving other people considerable power to affect our thoughts and actions negatively.   A polite spine also includes the ability to simply not care what the rude riff raff of the world thinks or says about us.

When you glared at the girls, all you did was send the very clear message that you can be manipulated to react poorly and that you have lost control of the situation to a pack of little girls.  I would never give anyone that kind of information about myself so that they have a power advantage over me.  The beauty of etiquette is that it gives us a framework of behavior so that we retain control of ourselves and often of the situation itself.   You could have completely ignored the girls since their opinions of your costume and make-up is totally irrelevant to you due to the fact that they are strangers who you have never seen before and will likely never see again.  The gutsy Ehell way of doing things would have been to stride right up to the girls with a happy smile on your face, introduce yourself as follows,  “Hi, “I’m costumed as ‘Columbia’ from the movie ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ playing in about an hour. She’s a pretty cool character in the movie, are you familiar with her?   Would you like a photo with me? ”      If they decline, giggling, you confidently stride back to your waiting friends waving, “Good bye, enjoy the rest of your night!”  Doing so sets the atmosphere for the situation to be a positive one with you clearly in control of yourself, the situation and you come off looking powerful and gracious.  Win-win all around for everyone.

 

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The Carolines Of This World

by admin on April 27, 2015

This story happened to my husband a few nights ago and I’m still fuming. Husband is more laid back, but I know it bothered him too.

A bit of context first. Where I live, it can take from 10 to 24 months to evict a renter after he’s stopped paying rent. As such, potential landlords are very careful when renting out their apartments and the vast majority ask their renters for a third party to cosign the lease.

On to my story. I wouldn’t call my husband and Andy friends, but they are friendly acquaintances. They were introduced to each other by their mothers who work together and are very close. Andy is younger than my husband so during his university studies he would often call my husband for advice (not surprisingly, he ended up majoring in my husband’s field). They also went out for drinks a couple of times.

When Andy called a few weeks ago asking us very nicely to cosign his and his girlfriend’s lease (I’ll call her Caroline and we’ve never met her), it didn’t take us long to decide that we wanted to help him. During his call Andy explained that they had been looking for an apartment for 2 months and were getting pretty desperate at that point. We gave Andy our reply the next day, sent him the necessary paperwork and he thanked us profusely. A meeting between the landlord, Andy and his girlfriend and my husband was scheduled for two nights ago at 9PM (these are all professionals, so after work was the only time they could all meet).

Now, I wasn’t there for this last part as I had to leave on a business trip, but this is what happened according to my husband. On the day of the meeting, my husband left work at 8PM and went straight to their apartment (that meant a one-hour commute). Hubby had hoped to get this over with quickly, but as always with all the documents that needed checking and signing, he ended up missing the last bus home. When they were done, my husband and Andy started chatting in front of the building. About five minutes in, Caroline (who my husband tells me kept looking at her watch and sighing), finally said: “I hate to break this up, but it’s getting late and Andy and I have to be getting home”. My husband, who had come there straight from work, to help them out of a desperate situation, had missed dinner and the last bus home, was so flabbergasted that he wished them goodnight and left (it was a 30 minute walk on foot).

The rational part of my brain realizes that my husband’s reaction was the correct one, but the less civilized part thinks that the Carolines of the world act the way they do, because no one ever calls them out on their boorish behavior. I keep asking myself if he should have said something to her. What do you think, Miss Jeanne? 0417-15

The responsibility fell upon Andy to have said, “Yes, it is getting late. Please join us for a quick dinner and we’ll drive you home.”   He and Caroline should have discussed their plans earlier and planned on asking your husband to come to dinner with them or offer to drive him home given that your husband had just done a great service that, frankly, I would have been leery of doing.   Andy’s own mother would not co-sign for him but your husband will?  Warning flag.    And the lack of graciousness and gratitude upon receipt of that kindness is another warning sign.

The only reply your husband could have said was, “Yes, it is late and I have a long walk ahead of me before I can eat and relax.   Good bye.”

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Feel Good Friday – You Can Fly, Wil!

by admin on April 24, 2015

 

William “Wil” Lawrence is a special little boy with a magical ability: he can fly!

And it’s all thanks to his photographer dad, Alan, who first featured these photos on his blog: thatdadblog.com

It’s not hard to see why these wonderful photos are going massively viral. Take a look.  VIEW HERE.

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Should the ESPN Reporter Have Been Fired?

by admin on April 23, 2015

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3042761/Maybe-missing-teeth-job-Glamorous-ESPN-reporter-suspended-atrocious-verbal-attack-parking-lot-attendant-caught-camera.html

I just wonder if it would be possible to cover this story as it’s quite interesting to see the etiquette issues associated with this, how to handle a frustrating situation in a respectful many, how the behaviour your display outside your job can affect your employment, etc. Just might be worth a discussion as I think it’s a fascinating case of “You need to behave in private in a way that you wouldn’t be embarrassed about it was splashed across the front page of the newspaper”.

Discuss away!

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????????’s Birthday List

by admin on April 21, 2015

A LOT of people submitted this “baby’s birthday demand letter” for inclusion on the blog which has gone viral worldwide.

 

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How Life Builds The Backbone

April 20, 2015

This is a story about poor decisions made while being young and reckless. Through these respective experiences I have been taught a difficult lesson regarding the importance of surrounding yourself with quality people, as well as avoiding situations that potentially endanger you. When I was interacting with the individuals mentioned, I truly believed that everyone […]

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Feel Good Friday – When Life Sling Shoots You All Over The Place

April 17, 2015

This video is a metaphor for how I view the trials and tribulations of life. Sometimes when that ride is sling shooting you all over the place, you grab on for dear life and scream to God for mercy.   And then laugh when it’s all over. Click to share:

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