I worked for a company for nearly 15 years. I started out as full time, then hours fluctuated due to economic issues. (Some weeks, I worked without knowing when I would get paid again).
In 2013, my stepdad passed away from cancer. My mom and I were, naturally, devastated. I called my boss to let her know that I would not be in on Monday. (He died on a Sunday). She told me I could have Monday off with pay, but she wasn’t paying for any other bereavement time because he died on a weekend!
Come to 2016. My mom died unexpectedly at home early Saturday morning, midnight. I was completely destroyed, understandably, having been an only child and her dying in my arms. I called to tell her and let her know I would not be in Monday. Same thing.
Christmas Eve the same year. I was visiting my old neighbor, dropped off presents for the grandbabies and visited. My text was going off like crazy, but I ignored it. I stopped at a restaurant for dinner (was a family tradition) and checked messages before I went in. Her daughter ordered something for her son and it didn’t arrive. I had to go to the office and figure it out for her daughter (who is my age, 40’s). I ended up missing my church service because of it.
The best is yet to come… I had been having a lot of pain and only working half days because of it. I finally called in sick and asked my neighbor to bring me to the ER because I literally fell on the floor in pain. (I crawled to my front door). I ended up being admitted, and found out I needed emergency surgery. I got a call the day after I was operated on, pain pump, drain, whole 9 yards. She wanted to know when I was going back to work!!! My co-worker brought me flowers and said that she suggested that the office send me flowers. “It costs too much”. I was in for a week. No visit, no further calls. She called me at home almost every day with questions. Note that we don’t have short term disability in this state and I wasn’t getting paid.
A few months later, I went to my doctor. I was having a lot of pain and he wanted me to go to the hospital because I needed my gallbladder removed. I had to call the office to see if I could get a ride to the hospital, he didn’t want me to drive. My co-worker put me on hold to ask boss, who started to scream at me. My doctor heard her and asked for the phone. He told her I needed to go to the hospital, he was afraid of my gallbladder bursting. She told him that it couldn’t. He asked her where she got her degree!!! She finally gave in.
Needless to say, she replaced me 4 months later. New girl informed me, in the parking lot (I was training her) that my last day was Thursday. This was on a Tuesday and I was off the following day. My replacement left in March, after completely changing everything and donating things she wasn’t supposed to. 0121-19
Category: Bad Bosses
The Bad Christmas Boss
So here’s my story of a bad boss at Christmas. Sorry, it’s long:
Background: I worked for a group of contractors who were entrenched at a manufacturing site, “Widgets”, working in their offices on their property. After many years, Widgets was sold to a larger company. The new owners pushed our contracting group offsite and let it be known that while they would continue to give us some work, we would no longer enjoy the access that we used to have to Widgets’ information and facilities. We went from being basically co-workers with Widgets’ own employees, to just-another-group-of-contractors among several. Well, life happens. The original Widgets employees were no happier than we were about it, but we all carried on.
Before the sale of Widgets, we would often combine with a close group of Widgets employees for pot lucks, holiday dinners, retirement parties, etc., but that ended with the new Widgets owners. So, for my group’s first Christmas after being “kicked out”, we had a potluck dinner in our rented office (Only money for a ham was provided by our own corporate offices for our Christmas dinner) and invited the Widgets group we worked with the most closely in the past, making the dinner head count consist of about 22 of us contractors and 8 of Widgets employees. We had a really good time.
However, the new owners at Widgets were ruthless – by next Christmas, most of that group of Widgets employees that we had invited the previous year had been replaced, because of retirement, firing, or quitting when they could no longer take it. We barely knew some of the replacements by name, much less in person, and they seemed uninterested in furthering the acquaintanceship. My own group had been downsized to about 14 employees. So when it came time for my company’s next Christmas potluck in our new location, a few of our employees suggested that we simply have a dinner just for our own group this time. It had been a rough year, seeing several of our own people laid off, and saying farewell to some longtime friends at Widgets as well. Two of our employees had planned to be on vacation at that time, so only 12 of our group would actually be there at the potluck.
Our boss was adamant – we needed to invite Widgets people with whom we worked rather closely. So, our admin drew up a list of about five names of Widget employees and asked if there were any others who should be added. The boss submitted his list of names that must be invited. His list brought the number of Widgets employees up to sixteen! There were only twelve of our group, and sixteen of the Widgets employees, and he expected our employees to provide the food for this meal, but he assured us that he had corporate’s agreement to provide a ham again.
To understand this better – my group received no bonuses or Christmas gifts of any kind from our employer, except for that one ham for our group meal. To keep our bids super competitive, our salaries were much lower than those at Widgets – my counterparts at Widgets, for example, made $20,000/year more than me at a minimum – the ones with my experience made nearly twice as much as I did. This Christmas dinner for our group was to be our only celebration and we were being asked to basically cater for a larger group of people than ours, all of whom made much better money than us, and most of whom didn’t know us and showed no desire to do so, just because it was “good client relations.” Admin asked the Boss if he was sure this was the best way to wish his own employees “Merry Christmas,” by asking them to do this much work, and out of their own pockets to boot. She mentioned that a few employees had been quite startled to be told that their selected dish that they had planned to bring would have to feed almost 30 people, not 12. A couple of employees had asked why we had to invite anyone else at all, since the early indication had been that it would indeed be just our group this year. Most felt, but didn’t want to be quoted, that if it was “good customer relations,” then our company should pay for the meal.
In response, the Boss, who was normally a nice enough, if often insensitive guy, cancelled the dinner completely, then sent out a blistering email to our group, berating (unnamed) employees who had “forgotten the meaning of Christmas – giving” and accusing them outright of selfishness. We are talking employees such as the mother going through a divorce, the spouse of a disabled person, a newlywed just starting out, a man trying to help pay for his failing parents’ nursing care in their home, a veteran recently returned from overseas…. Yes, such greedy, selfish employees! I don’t know what the boss was thinking, but it was right then that I began my search for my new job. 1214-18
Bosses And Food…Somehow This Combination Never Seems To Work Well
This just happened today and I had to submit it. I’m still trying to retrieve my jaw from the floor.
My workplace hosted a charity morning tea. The idea is that everyone comes in with a plate of baked goodies, chats and makes a monetary donation to charity. The idea is that you pay to partake in the food. It’s pretty straight forward and most people have a good time.
The party got started early at 8am. At 8:15 one of the board members comes down with a plate. She stayed for ten minutes and then left (usually people stay for about 30 mins – hr to chat over a cup of tea). At 9:30am she sent down her PA to pick up a plate of food for a meeting that the board was holding. There was no request, the PA just came and took it with an “I’ve been sent down to pick up the food”.
The kicker was that the tea finished at 12, so it wasn’t even leftovers. The board member did give a donation, but take-away isn’t really part of the deal. We basically provided free catering for their meeting. I’m willing to let her PA off the hook – it was obvious she thought this was pre-arranged – but can we consign the board member to a nice spit deep in the fires of etiquette hell? 0525-17
And While We’re On The Subject of Translation Frustration…
Dear Etiquette Hell,
I work in a fairly large and diverse organisation, and many people speak a language other than English. Several people have said to me how nice it is to speak their first language with other people, now that they live in an English speaking country. Our manager has even drawn up a list of people willing to translate for customers if needed. However recently there was a complaint made, where one person thought others were talking about them in our break room, and specifically speaking Chinese so as not to be understood. We all received an email informing us that “it is not appropriate to speak in a language other than English” while in the break room. I was shocked, as it seems quite racist to impose this kind of rule.
I believe that the faux pas rests with the offended staff member in thinking that anyone would talk about them while they were present, but use another language to do so. In addition, it is not like there are only two people who speak Chinese, there are at least 30-40 people, so using it like a secret language would not make any sense. A group of staff members has since gone to our union to work out a response.
Is the manager correct, that being respectful involves only speaking English? Or is the offended person being paranoid and oversensitive in thinking people are talking about them? 0426-17
There are more clues that a person is being talked about behind their back than simply a group of people sitting at a table talking in another language. Clues such as surreptitious sideways glances towards the person allegedly being talked about, or the name appears in the midst of sentences. And if there is a history of conflict or misunderstanding or exclusion between that person and the people sitting talking then, yes, there can be a reasonable concern that someone is being talked about behind their back. I suspect there is more to this story than you are aware of because HR/management felt the need to make this rule.
Management has the challenging task of maintaining employee morale and teamwork for maximum productivity. On company property, I do think management/owners can dictate a rule of English only, particularly in an English speaking country, while on company time and property. English is the language of business after all. What employees do on their own time away from the company property is their own business in regards to what language they speak.
Employee Turn Over
Several years ago I worked for a small cafe/coffee shop that was owned by two sisters. This place had a terrible employee turnover rate and after about three months I was the senior full-time employee. (There were three part-timers that had been there longer.) It seemed that the primary qualification for employment at this establishment was the ability to put a good face toward the customer. Actually ability to do the job came in second. And the bosses would also do nearly anything to avoid offending anyone or making them upset.
So after working there for one year, I am pretty well set in having the opening shift of 6-2. I like the mornings, I know the regular customers, I could keep up with the lunch rush, and it enabled me to car pool with my boyfriend. My coworker and friend, M, also a full-time employee, primarily works the 8-4 shift. Being a single mom, this allowed her to get her kids up and off to school and let her be home with them for supper. We were always willing to work whatever shift was needed, but these shifts were our norm. So now, after a year of employment, the bosses hire B part-time. She decides she needs the morning shift. So she now gets all my opening shifts and I am switched to closing/evening shifts. I am not happy. After about two months of this I find another job and quit. Right after I leave I hear from M that B now wants her 8-4 shift instead. That her husband can’t get the kids up for school by himself. To which M replies, “What about me? I’m a single mom. I don’t have a husband to help me with anything!” So, the bosses give B the 8-4 shifts and switch M to a very inconsistent schedule. This also only lasts a few short months before M also quits. Right after she left, B also quits, wanting to return to a previous job.
All this hassle and losing two good full-time employees just to try to keep a newer, part-time employee happy. 0212-11
I’m always amazed at the short sighted choices some business owners make in regards to employees and retaining their best workers. Reliable, hardworking employees are like gold and should have tenure over newbies who should prove themselves by starting at the bottom of the ladder and working themselves up.