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Category: Gimme

Wedding Wednesday – Amount of Cash Given Is Equivalent To How Much Sincerity The Giver Has…Nope, Not In A Million Years

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The anonymous guest, an ex-colleague of the bride, asked for advice on a Mumsnet forum after being told the £100 cheque she gave the couple was not sufficient.

According to the poster, known as Puzzledandpissedoff, the email from the newlyweds read:

“We were surprised that your contribution didn’t seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received.”

You can read the rest of the horror story HERE.

So, the amount of the wedding gift did not sufficiently “match the warmth of your good wishes”.   Money has become a barometer of friendship or a gauge of the true sincerity of the gift giver’s congratulations.

One thing is true, however.   The email the bride and groom did send to the gift giver does equate to the lack of grace and gratitude they have for their guests and the gifts they bear.

Wicked Wedding Wednesday – Can A Wedding Get Worse Than This?

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It’s Wedding Wednesday…one day late.

A year ago (it has taken me that much time to compose myself) I was informed that my then boyfriend’s step brother was getting married to a girl who he had been living with for a year.

She was perfectly lovely but knowing the mother of the groom (gimme pig) we had some reservations. The two “congratulations” dinners were lovely (pay for yourself and bring a gift for each one) and the engagement party (paid for by the bride’s parents, bring gifts) was lovely, (I and my boyfriend’s sister were not invited to the
bachelorette party despite 25 other people attending but were were expected to send a gift) and we all expected to receive our invites for the wedding.

Lo and behold, it was now going to be a ‘destination’ wedding. Well, alright. The bride indicated there would be a modest party when they got back and no presents. This “destination wedding” location was changed to 45 minutes away at a very exclusive venue with lush gardens and so on. Full traditional wedding took place including bridesmaids in expensive outfits, and fully catered event etc…only no guests other than the bridal party. Only the parents, blood siblings and best friends were invited. The bride sent out postal notices that they were to be married and a Facebook page and many many notices about this on her own page which mentioned that the couple would “love it if you would share in our special day by remembering it with a gift”, however no registry as they only wanted cash. The “modest” party was then changed to a “bridal reception” with invitations requesting another gift: cash, despite the fact that it was a month in between nuptials and the “reception”. We were told in confidence by the groom’s mother that the “reception” was to help pay for the cost of the honeymoon! The groom literally threw a hissy fit because he was worried about only being able to afford a week away at his international destination of choice and not the several weeks he wished to go for.

The reception night arrives and it is held in the local hall. There are six trays of finger food all total and a cash bar.The music is loud and we literally had to shout to be heard- even up the back because the bride and groom wanted a dance party atmosphere. It is stand up (there were 10 stools the older relatives were escorted too) and a lot of the people (over 150) attending said to us and to the other guests they were surprised that they were invited but went because they felt like the couple must have really valued them. It is packed like sardines.

The wedding “wishing well” was incredibly prominent and we then had a slideshow of the actual wedding “for all those who were not invited”. The bride’s best friend and close relatives who HAD been to the ceremony gave speeches as if they were AT the real ceremony whilst all pointing out the people that had been invited, repeatedly.

The groom’s mother made many announcements about how kind and generous we should be to young couples making their way in the world etc, despite the parents and the couple being much better off financially than most people in the room.

The bride and groom did not ingratiate themselves well with their guests. The bride (in full wedding regalia along with the bridal party) danced with her friends in a corner and literally barely acknowledged anyone else. The groom was hanging over a rail outside for several hours as his friends poured alcohol into his mouth and was so drunk he
forgot who we were when we tried to congratulate him at the end of the evening.

The groom’s mother still was not happy, I never got a thank-you note for my cash donation and they did get an extra week of honeymoon paid for, but not the two weeks they were hoping for.

I felt like I did my part. I showed up with the cash, looked good, make polite chit chat and left.

Thank you for letting me get it out of my system! 1116-13

Someone should conduct a sociological study as to why people voluntarily attend a wedding function in which it is obvious that they are being duped into parting with their hard-earned cash. It’s as if it’s a con game that people get naively sucked into only to realize afterwards that they were the victims of a con artist.

Wedding Wednesday – How To Quit Your Attendant “Job”

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I am one of 5 bridesmaids, DH is one of 5 groomsmen and our son is the ring bearer for a very posh type $100,000 wedding…There is no MOH or Best Man.

All the bridesmaids got together and planned what we thought was going to be a fun shower type event (the bride wants 3 showers). Ours, the bride wanted to be fun and for the younger crowd of wedding guests.

One of the bridesmaids slipped and let out some of the details…only for the bride to break out in hysterics screaming and crying almost to the point of hyperventilating, saying that it wasn’t what she wanted and that none of her bridesmaids knew her as well as she thought and we were all clueless and our ideas were completely TACKY! The groom then chimed in saying that having a co-ed shower (which was being done to honor him as well) was ridiculous, because most of the people would be couples, and couples won’t give two separate gifts! He then went on and on about how the showers were to be a money maker and to lavish them with gifts.

This went on to the point that both myself and another bridesmaid AND the bride’s mother were in tears…

The Zillas went on to say how they were stressed because of the cost of their wedding and the bridal party should be saving money on the shower to put towards a large check to help pay for “the main event”.

I am beyond mad with this whole event. We have since changed the venue and guest list as well as theme, food, favours and everything else in between…only to get an email last night saying that we need to change it all over again because this isn’t what they want either!!! 0312-09

It is quite possible and even acceptable to “fire” oneself from being a wedding attendant.  “I’m so sorry but we can no longer continue in our roles as groomsman/bridesmaid due to unforeseen circumstances.  We wish you all the best for the future and your marriage.”   No need to explain what, exactly, the unforeseen circumstances are.

There is no point in trying to please the ungrateful, greedy people of this world.

Wedding…Um, THURSDAY! Once Those Guests Are Snagged Into Attending, Soak Them For A Grand Reception

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I recently attended a small, impromptu wedding. The bride’s mother was visiting from overseas, so the couple decided to quickly plan a small wedding. The couple created a Facebook event and sent out invites through that. In the description, they started off saying it was a NO HOST dinner/reception. I didn’t know what that was, so I googled what a no host dinner was: essentially it’s every person paying for their own meals and drinks (going dutch). I’ve never encountered such a wedding, but okay, my SO and I would go anyways, celebrate, we’ll just stick to a budget.

A week later the bride announces, also on Facebook, that they’d like monetary gifts and will be setting up a money tree. I was shocked by that, since the guests essentially were paying for the reception.  My SO and I already RSVP’d so it’d be rude not to show up. This made us discuss that we’ll order small and give a monetary gift. Note: in my culture monetary gifts are a norm, but we also never expect the guests to pay for their own meals. If the gifts help offset the costs paid, great, but we don’t expect others to pay for our weddings.

When we get to the restaurant, the tables are still being set up, and quite a few people are looking over the menu, and I could hear some discuss splitting meals as this was a steak restaurant.

Once the tables are set up, we all find out that each place setting has a prix fixe menu: each table gets a calamari and beef tenderloin over rice starters, then each person chooses a soup or salad, and one of four entrees. Soft drinks are included. I asked if the waitress can bring me and SO a separate check, and I was informed of the following: the set menu is about $40/ person, with all the guests being added to a main bill for the party, and every bottle of wine opened will also be added to the main bill. Then, it’d be split evenly by the number of guests. I was beyond shocked. My SO stepped outside to calm down.

I then see some of the family starting to order wine and talking about refills. I wasn’t about to subsidize their drinking. I asked the waitress to put $40 on the bill for me as my contribution and gift to this wedding, told my SO to stay outside, and once I signed my receipt I left.

The bride sent me a text about 10 minutes later asking if we left. I told her yes because I didn’t expect for this arrangement nor for a bill I had no control over. I congratulated them on their wedding and wished them the best.    0113-15