This topic is a bit lowbrow, but here it is:
I just used a ladies’ room and someone had “hovered” and not wiped the seat. Ugh. But that reminded me of a situation at work a few years ago….
I worked at a manufacturing site, in the admin building. The entire site had about 15 buildings, widely scattered on the grounds. About 18 women worked in the admin building with 25 men. The admin ladies’ room had three sinks and three stalls. There was very low employee turnover, so we were all used to each other’s restroom etiquette, and we were a neat group, wiping up splashes on the counter top, refilling paper towel and tp dispensers when empty, etc.
This day there was a meeting in one of the conference rooms in the admin building, and two of the attendees were women who worked in other buildings as managers, which meant they “out-ranked” all of the women in the admin building. The meeting lasted all day, taking breaks and a lunch hour. One of the admin regulars told me, as I entered the restroom mid-morning, “Don’t use the third stall! Someone “hovered” and wet the whole seat!” Wet seats never happened with our normal group, so it had to be one of the two females at the meeting. At lunchtime, another co-worker stopped by our office and said that TWO seats were now all wet. By mid-afternoon, all three toilets had wet seats. Apparently, the hover-er had moved on to a clean stall each time, until all were soiled, leaving us to either clean up her urine or hike five to ten minutes to the nearest building with a bathroom. A few of our group finally located some gloves and attacked the seats with cleaners and paper towels so we could use the bathroom.
So rude! 1113-18
Category: Etiquette…In General
Hijacked By The Steward
Recent submissions about airplane etiquette brought to mind a situation I encountered recently. While my experience is very tame, laughable really. compared to the horror stories I read in the past couple of weeks, I thought it might be worth sharing.
I had booked the window seat on a short, regional flight. Given that I didn’t really feel like paying more to upgrade to the front of the plane or to a roomier seat, I was pretty satisfied with my choice all in all: a window seat towards the back of the plane. I decided to pre-emptively grab a snack before boarding and so, boarded at the end of my boarding “zone”. I wasn’t late by any means but this meant that most of the passengers around me were already in their seats with the majority of the overhead baggage space taken. Still, it was my choice to board later and my snack was worth it :). I located space as close to my area as I could and proceeded to my seat only to find it taken. As I smiled at the man and told him it was my seat, a flight attendant hurried over, informing me that even though it wasn’t the man’s seat, he was in it so he could sit next to his wife and I wouldn’t mind sitting elsewhere, would I? She directed me to an aisle seat two rows ahead. I don’t remember her exact phrasing but I remember feeling bullied into accepting. Even though it was a question, it wasn’t really a request but more of a fait accompli. I was taken aback and murmured something about it not being a window seat but I didn’t put up a fight. The seat I was directed to actually belonged to someone else (not the man who stole my seat) so they didn’t even get that right.
It worked out in the end because my new seatmate had a wife in the same row across the aisle. More trades happened but this time, they were actual trades between affected parties, not in absentia. I moved into the window and I got yet another new seatmate who turned out to be entertaining but that’s a story for another day! Overall, it wouldn’t have been a big deal as it was a short flight but it’s the principle of it. I’ve seen this happen to others for longer flights in much the same manner. What happened to asking for a favour rather than demanding it? Is it commonplace now to assume that passengers will happily inconvenience themselves to accommodate people who want to sit together but who, for whatever reason,couldn’t be bothered to make arrangements? When did flight attendants become bullies?
Before someone points out that I could have exercised my polite spine, I’d like to point out that on a longer flight or poorer seat exchange (middle seat), I would have :). But the point of this story is that I shouldn’t have to! 1009-18
Chinese Tourists – Is the Cultural Revolution Really To Blame For The Current State of Ill-Manners?
While traveling abroad to Asia (Thailand, Laos, Tokyo), my daughter reached a conclusion that Chinese tourists were the rudest she’d ever encountered whereas the Japanese were delightful. Whereas the Japanese had an “othersness” perspective regarding interactions with other people, the Chinese appear to be quite self absorbed. A traveling nation of special snowflakes.
Hers isn’t a unique opinion. Apparently Chinese tourists’ bad behavior has become so well known that the mainland China government created and issued a travel brochure detailing what are good manners for traveling abroad. The first video goes into detail about that.
What I find interesting about the two next videos is that China’s Cultural Revolution is blamed for the destruction of values, traditions, and morals seen today. So the questions I ponder are whether culture can impact an entire nation to mold a new mindset about how to behave and if that is possible, it appears that the trend is to poorer levels of consideration, common sense, and courtesy.
The etiquette police? Writing tickets?
This last video was funded in part or whole by the Chinese government.
Casual Conversation At The Theater
Myself and two friends went to the theater last night. And something that happened (that I passed off humorously at the time) has now got me irritated upon second thought. When we entered the theater– a solid 20 minutes before the show started– I sat on one side of my friend “Ryan”, and a stranger was on his other side (a woman, whom I would place in her late 50s). Important context here is that both Ryan and I are actors and have previously worked under the director of the show we are seeing this night.
Ryan makes a comment to me about said director in conversation, referring to her by her first name. And that’s when Stranger next to Ryan says to him, “Oh! Do you know the director?” Ryan says yes, and she proudly tells us that she recently did an interview with said director (she works for a newspaper). Being friendly, Ryan inquires about the interview and chats with her for a few moments. When that seems over, he turns back to me, but then she starts talking to him again… and this becomes the trend for the whole of the 20 minutes we are waiting for the show to begin. One time she even interrupted him mid sentence while he was trying to hold a conversation with my other friend and I. This stranger was not about to let him talk to anyone else while she was there. And poor Ryan is the sweetest person you could ever meet; he didn’t have the heart to ignore the stranger or say anything about the situation to her.
When the show was over (thank god no intermission) she tried to pull him into conversation AGAIN, and that’s when I made excuses for our small group to leave, and ushered Ryan out before this woman could steal another uncomfortable 20 minutes from him. As my own mother pointed out, she was probably just lonely; though I don’t think that gives her an excuse to demand attention from a stranger who is clearly trying to engage with his own group. 0506-17
If you have think twice as to whether you are offended or not, you are likely overthinking the situation. Go with your gut and first reaction and just blow it off.
Left Out Of The Activities….Hmm, What Is Going On Here?
This has happened a couple of times, and I haven’t said anything to my friends because I honestly just don’t know how to respond.
I’m a bit of an orgniser. So if I see an event/class/talk I think I might enjoy, I will invite my friends to come along. Not everyone every time, but people who I think would also be interested in whatever I was going to share.
Now, it hasn’t happened too often, but it’s happened enough to be a pattern. I will send out a message saying, “HI, I’m going to x event/activity, would people like to join me?” I’ll have a bit of response to message and others will ignore. Then a few weeks later I’ll see they’ve all gone to whatever it was that I shared and haven’t deigned to include me.
I’m not a crazy person, I don’t expect to be invited to everything. But if I send out a message saying, “Does anyone want to see x movie with me” and then they all go and see that movie in a group without me, I’m going to be really annoyed. And while at first I ignored it, or thought it was a coincidence, it’s starting to make me angrier every time it happens.
It happened last weekend. I posted about a gallery doing art workshops over various weekends. Two friends went to two different workshops (including one person who ignored my message). And I’m just left wondering what on earth I’ve done and why I’m being left out. Is this rude or am I reading too much into it? 0304-18
I always think it’s a good idea to do a self examination to see if there is something that would inhibit people from wanting to be with oneself. Am I interrupting too much? Is my conversation about me all the time? Am I being a drama queen? Too political?
And then there’s the other side of the hand….you can be the nicest person in the world but are shunned because you are being viewed as a killjoy. One of my daughters had the same thing happen to her several times and it really boiled down to the fact that the other “friends” were heavy drinkers and she isn’t so she was excluded solely on that basis. Good riddance, imo.