38 Bridesmaids

by admin on March 15, 2010

I can’t remember if I ever published this photo I scanned of a page from a People Magazine from 2008 or 2009. “It took one hour to get all the people down the aisle.” What a delight for the wedding party and guests! If I already have published this before, it’s still worth a second gawk…err…umm…look.

{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }

PrincessSimmi March 15, 2010 at 6:41 am

First thing that came into my head: holy crap.
Second thing: MUMZILLA! ROOOAR!

Reply

BHarris March 15, 2010 at 7:15 am

Wow, that’s whacked! But is it rude?

Reply

Anonymous March 15, 2010 at 7:28 am

To be honest, I always thought the whole “bridesmaids’ dresses can’t be white” thing was silly, because of course everyone knows which one is the bride…but I’ve gotta admit, if I went to this wedding, I’d be congratulating a lot of people by accident. Especially since I must have never met the bride, groom, or any relatives, or else I’d be wearing one of those dresses, too!

Reply

ferretrick March 15, 2010 at 7:43 am

The nicest thing I can say is at least she chose a tasteful gown and didn’t make 38 people wear a sofa.

Reply

Katrina March 15, 2010 at 8:23 am

And another one of my pet peeves, the mini-bride. One of the younger girls is dressed in a replica of the bride’s gown, down to the flowers being identical. I have always felt the bride should be unique and special, not have her own mini me. Not to mention the bride’s gown is often appropriate for an adult, not a child. It could just be me, but putting a young child a dress too mature is just not right.

Reply

nkkingston March 15, 2010 at 8:24 am

To be fair, apart from the bbride the only one’s in white at the younger bridesmaids – all the older ones are in ivory/champagne/off-white.

And hey, if they could afford it, why not? From the snippet beneath the photo it sounds like, though large, the family is close (well, apart from poor “related but I don’t know how”). At least no one was left to feel snubbed!

Reply

Anonymous March 15, 2010 at 9:23 am

Katrina, it looks like the mini-me’s gown does have straps, so at least it is fairly child-appropriate. But I agree with you, the whole “mini-bride” thing is just weird.

Reply

Anonymous March 15, 2010 at 9:25 am

Oops, nevermind, I was looking at the wrong girl (was looking at the little girl with the large bouquet, not the other one with the strapless gown).

Reply

Laura March 15, 2010 at 9:33 am

How did she pay for all thoes attendants gifts?

Reply

Jennifer March 15, 2010 at 9:39 am

The “bride’s second cousin” directly in front of her creeps me out. That dress is much too old for a child to wear. A strapless dress on a little girl? Really?

Reply

Chocobo March 15, 2010 at 9:40 am

Holey moley! There are two things I think are inconsiderate here:

1) Mom pressed her to have over twice as many bridesmaids as she had originally planned on. It’s not Mom’s choice to make, and obviously she went hugely overboard.

2) “It took one hour to get all the people down the aisle” — to me, that’s really inconsiderate. Already I assume it’s a Catholic mass, which is rather long in the first place for a ceremony, probably like 30-45 minutes. And then she tacks on an hour long procession because no one knows how to say no? I don’t think the guests have really been taken into consideration here.

Reply

McGroom March 15, 2010 at 9:53 am

…and to think that my WTB struggled to pick between her two closest friends because “two would be too many”…

Reply

2yellowdogs March 15, 2010 at 10:06 am

As a wedding photographer, this would drive me, um, nuts. Never mind the fact that it’s ridiculous and self-indulgent, it makes for bad pictures. Just look at all those happy people! And you can forget about getting a decent picture of the entire wedding party without a small sports stadium to gather all SEVENTY-EIGHT people in.

Sheesh.

Reply

Chocobo March 15, 2010 at 10:31 am

It also kind of takes away the specialness of being a bridesmaid. When you’re one of what could be a small wedding in itself, I don’t think you precisely feel singled out as an important person in the brides’ life to witness her wedding (which is, as I understand it, the point of bridesmaids) when it includes “related but I don’t know how” and “brides’ mothers’ friend”. Really? Even if they did know each other fairly well, clearly some of these women are not nearly as well known if the bride is describing them as her MOTHER’S friend. As a guest or onlooker, I’d never be able to discern which of these women are actually being honored, or who the original 15 were.

Reply

Bint March 15, 2010 at 10:40 am

I think this kind of thing is ridiculous.

Reply

Jae March 15, 2010 at 10:44 am

It took an hour just for the attendants to get to the front of the church?! How boring for the poor guests. Then the ceremony, wonder if it was a full mass. MOB needed to be told “No.”

Reply

Joe J March 15, 2010 at 11:19 am

For a wedding, there sure doesn’t seem to be a lot of smiling faces in that photo. Wonder why…

Reply

Margaret March 15, 2010 at 11:24 am

At least they all look happy to be in the bridal party. No, wait….

Reply

Lizajane March 15, 2010 at 11:55 am

There were no guests to consider. Everyone was in the wedding.

Reply

Morty'sCleaningLady March 15, 2010 at 11:55 am

Umm, who was left to sit in the pews at the church? Seems like every living relative is in the wedding!

Reply

Jayne March 15, 2010 at 12:04 pm

The little girls as “mini brides” creep me out as well.

Reply

Southern Sugar March 15, 2010 at 12:49 pm

The rudeness is in having so many attendants that you keep your guests stuck in the church for an extra hour to get them all down the aisle. That’s inconsiderate at best, and, factoring in the average length of a Catholic ceremony, rude at worst. That probably doubled the length of the wedding.

Reply

ladycrim March 15, 2010 at 1:15 pm

I wouldn’t worry about being rude to the guests in this instance; after they filled out the wedding party, I’m pretty sure there was nobody left to be a guest.

Reply

Dani March 15, 2010 at 2:36 pm

“Bride’s brother’s friend” was asked to be a bridesmaid? Normally I’d think that being asked to be an attendant is an honor, but when you’ve invited 38 of your closest friends and relatives, the honor becomes a little dubious…

Reply

January Girl March 15, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Notice how over half the people aren’t smiling? Can you imagine the frustration in getting everyone positioned just right to see faces. Oh.my.goodness.

I know what I went through on my wedding day for pictures, with just a total bridal party of 12.

Bridezilla overload. It’s just beyond….

Reply

Patty March 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Yikes! Barely any of them are smiling. Very excessive and unnecessary. Large family or not, I thought your attendants were people close to you? Not rude, but I would never do that.

Reply

L.A. Lady March 15, 2010 at 4:03 pm

How many groomsmen were in the wedding party? I know some people like to have the sides even and all.

Reply

PrincessSimmi March 15, 2010 at 4:07 pm

To me this screams “I have way too much money but not enough sense/(cents)” (sorry, it had to be done). Tacky, tacky, tacky. Honestly, how many of these ‘cousins’ does she talk to outside of Easter and Christmas? And what about “related but I’m not sure how”? Trashy isn’t just confined to trailer persons, this has more trash than your average garbage dump.

Imagine this:
Dress/gown purchase for 38- approx $6000, plus whatever the brides dress cost.
Hair- $4000+
Makeup- $2000+
flowers- $3500, an that’s just on boquets only!
tux rental for 38 groomsmen- $10000+
food to feed them all- $8000+

So that’s upwards of $30000 just for the wedding party, and these are just modest estimates. Whoa.

Reply

Claddagh Lass March 15, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Yow!

My Mom comes from a large family and she only had three bride’s maids.

Reply

LC March 15, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Yikes, were there 38 groomsmen as well???
I’d be so confused…..who is getting married?! It seems like half of them have white-ish dresses and matching bouquets.

Reply

PrincessSimmi March 15, 2010 at 6:23 pm

I’ve found another wedding with 38 bridesmaids:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article262058.ece

According to this article, the record for most bridesmaids is 79, by a canadian couple.

Holy hell. Remind me to never get married.

Reply

Kristina March 15, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Yikes, suddenly very glad I don’t have any cousins…

Reply

Fanboy Wife March 15, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Who was left to watch this wedding?

Reply

Snewt March 15, 2010 at 8:05 pm

The one thing that is nice is that she knows her second, third, and fourth cousins. How many of us can say that?

I’m not sure if this is rude, per se, but I am a little surprised that her church let her process this many people in and out. I am hoping that the hour to get everyone in was an exaggeration!

Reply

Gemma March 16, 2010 at 10:10 am

People have mentioned that many of the people in the photo aren’t smiling. I think the most telling is that the BRIDE isn’t smiling!

Reply

Louise March 16, 2010 at 12:14 pm

If my fourth cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid, my first question would be, “Who are you?” and my second would be, “Really?”

Reply

NotCinderell March 16, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Odd, yes, but the desire not to leave anyone out makes me feel like her heart is in the right place.

Reply

kidsis March 16, 2010 at 9:27 pm

@PrincessSimmi – it may not have cost as much as you are estimating. When my best friend got married, we followed the “modern etiquette” rules that have the bridesmaids & groomsmen covering their individual outfit (and makeup/hair) costs. The only costs that the parents of the bride covered were for the bride and the MOH (who was the bride’s sister). Even the flower girl’s family (the bride’s niece) took care of their own costs.

For my friend’s special day I did my own hair and the other bridesmaid helped with my makeup (lack of mirrors in the dressing room). The bride and I did go pick out the fabric for my dress, which was custom made by my mother, but the other bridesmaid picked her own dress. The cost for the flowers and the rehearsal dinner were covered by the groom’s family (which is tradition). It turned out to be a lovely day.

That was my first Catholic wedding (even though it wasn’t in a full mass). Maybe it’s just because all of the weddings I’ve been to have had a religious setting, but it was not noticeably longer than any of the others.

Reply

Xtina March 17, 2010 at 10:04 am

That’s insane! haha. I think there comes a point to which it is insulting to the attendants themselves to take part in such a huge party. Surely these people can’t feel very special. One way to solve this problem (besides the bride putting her foot down with her mother in the first place) would have been to pick the closest few blood relatives (i.e. sisters or future sisters-in-law; i.e. groom’s sister) and tell everyone else personally that you were blessed with so many close relationships but are faced with a very tough decision in order to keep the size of the party down….and in order to avoid any conflicts or hurt feelings, decided to make only sisters (or whoever you picked) attendants. Then maybe include all the would-have-been attendants in a bridal luncheon with the attendants, for instance, as a good faith or thank-you gesture. Hopefully people will understand your dilemma and reasons for them “not making the cut” and appreciate your honesty.

Reply

Anonymous March 17, 2010 at 11:20 am

kidsis, a full Mass makes a big difference in timing (especially if everyone is taking Communion and not just the bride and groom).

Reply

Funky March 17, 2010 at 7:52 pm

She could have just said “Nope, I’ll have my three closest friends, and that’s it.” Notice the three friends of the bride are the ones furthest away from her?

I imagine it would have taken less time, but still a lengthy time for them to recess..as a guest (perhaps a friend of the groom, unless he didn’t have sufficient cousins to make the 28) I would be bored out of my mind.

Reply

Funky March 17, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Aha – the 79 bridesmaids wedding was a direct attempt to break a world record – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suresh_Joachim They must have felt special.

Reply

ZHall March 18, 2010 at 2:25 pm

I’m with BHarris on this one. It wouldn’t be my style, and it doesn’t seem practical or comfortable for those involved, but I don’t see anything rude about it. But then, the procession has always been one of my favorite parts of a wedding ceremony, and the ceremony seems all too often neglected by those who focus on the reception.

Reply

hot_shaker March 20, 2010 at 7:56 am

A second cousin of mine had 45 attendants in the wedding (both her side and the groom’s). Did this groom have 38 groomsmen to balance things out or was there just a long procession of women/girls?

I think it’s odd that the attendants are all wearing very pale/almost white dresses. It took me a minute to find the bride in the picture!

Reply

Kitchenscratch March 20, 2010 at 3:18 pm

That’s nuts! How many actual guests were there?

I work at a banquet hall, and we had one b&g who wanted a head table to seat 40 (this included groomsmen, tho. It wasn’t just the bridesmaids). The bridal party accounted for 30% of the headcount overall. We actually revised our headcount rules after that couple..we used to say “# of guests, bridal party is free” but now we do “# of guests, plus 10 freebies” to account for the bridal party.

That said, I’m a little jealous of people with giant families where they’re all close. My family is scattered all around the country and the world. Fourth cousins? I can’t keep up with my first cousins!

Reply

Lillie82 April 3, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Xtina, your suggestion is very good, but, to be fair, there are some families large enough that even limiting to the closest blood relatives will result in more than a “few.” My youngest brother and his girlfriend are talking seriously about getting married after college; there are nine siblings and siblings-in-law between the two of them. (She has four siblings, three married, and there are three in our family.) Her parents each have about 8 to 10 siblings, so you can imagine the size of her extended family, with all the cousins. Of course, she wouldn’t have to make them all attendants – but I wonder about the sizes of her parents’ and their siblings’ bridal parties.

And I can understand a bride with several sisters not wanting to include some while excluding others, and then maybe having a couple of close friends, too.

Of course, none of this was the case for the bride here – she went out of her way to include relatives distant enough that I suspect most people wouldn’t even include them as guests.

Reply

Skoffin April 13, 2010 at 10:59 am

The title suggests that her mother forced her to have so many bridesmaids, in which case… why did she not have the backbone to tell her mother that it’s her wedding and that it would be ridiculous to have so many?
But the story itself seems to suggest that she was happy to do that, in which case… just why?!

Frankly if I was offered to be a bridesmaid and found that there were 37 others I’d simply turn it down.

Reply

livvy April 23, 2010 at 3:52 pm

I wondered what they told the women when they asked…”You’re one of my favorite 38 women/girls/family members, would you do me the honor of paying several hundred dollars to be part of my cortege?” On the other hand, the could have said no.

Reply

essie August 21, 2010 at 7:55 pm

Good heavens! Has ANYONE else checked to see who counts as your 4th cousin? That would be YOUR great-GREAT-grandparents’ siblings’ great-GREAT-grandchild!! How many of you (besides me) even had great-grandparents LIVING when you were BORN?? (I knew 3 of my great-grandmothers for more than half my life.)

I mean, did her mother really have to say “Now, dear, you know Aunty Mary was your great-great-grandmother Estelle’s favorite sister. If you don’t ask Aunty Mary’s great-great-granddaughter, Hazel, to be a bridesmaid, those two sweet old ladies might not come to the wedding OR send you a gift!”

Sheesh!

Reply

Jillybean November 10, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Oh my – I feel much better now about indulging in 6 when I got married. I thought 6 was crazy – but in the end, my desire to have the 6 most important women in my life surrounding me for all of it won out. I just couldn’t have imagined it without any of them. Them being, my 2 sisters, my 2 best friends, and 2 cousins who grew up next door to me and are like nieces/sisters. But 38? I’d be hard pressed to even come up with that many people. LOL.

And yes, you can’t help but notice that the majority of the participants, bride included, look miserable. And that’s the shot that ended up in a magazine. Imagine the “bad” shots.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: