Lazy Asses Get No Passes

by admin on March 17, 2010

I received this from a story contributor a while ago and never got around to publishing it because it was a PDF file that needed to be cropped and changed to a jpg file. I finally cajoled the Mister into doing it and voila! Here it is in all it’s trashy, lazy, ungrateful, wretched glory!

Yes, someone sent this pathetic thank you note to their guests who gave them wedding gifts.

If you ever receive a miserable excuse of an invitation or thank you note, scan it and send it to me!

{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Bint March 17, 2010 at 7:39 am

And I bet the happy couple thought it was soooooooo witty and hilarious, and aren’t they different, instead of just disgustingly rude.

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Mrs. A March 17, 2010 at 8:11 am

Wow! I am a lurker usually but I just had to say WOW, that is just so …. there are no words really.

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Chocobo March 17, 2010 at 9:00 am

Oh lord, that’s just awful.

Out of curiousity, what DOES one do if the “gifts recieved” list has been lost? I keep all the wedding info in a spreadsheet, and if my computer crashed I’d really have no way of knowing who did what and when (including RSVPs!) except by memory. Speaking of which… perhaps I should go back that up…

I’d rather sheepishly admit I can’t recall what they gave us or the list has disappeared rather than not say anything at all. I suppose what I would do in that situation is give all the guests a call personally, explain what happened, and thank them the best that I could on the phone, then write thank you notes once it was straightened out. Of course, I wouldn’t wait so long to write a thank you note in the first place, as this couple clearly has. So if that ever happened it would definitely be an emergency, and perhaps more excusable.

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flora March 17, 2010 at 9:39 am

Never attribute to malice what can be accurately explained by stupidity. Out of everything that I’ve read on ehell, this is a pretty mild fou pau. In fact, I’d give them a few points for owning up to their mistake, although it would have been a lot nicer of a note if they apologised. If they are otherwise a nice, gracious couple, I’d let it go. What else can someone do it that sort of situation?

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Joe J March 17, 2010 at 9:42 am

Lordy, they didn’t even have the decency to hand-write the letter themselves beyond the names of the unfortunate recipients.

Also, “Chrissssssy”? What the fudge?

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Xtina March 17, 2010 at 9:44 am

Oh.My.God!!! This has to be the single worst excuse for a thank-you note I have ever seen in my life. This is not witty. This is not funny. This is beyond tasteless and crass. This is beyond rude, even as a joke. I’m surprised the “lovely couple” even bothered to fill in the gift-givers’ names.

It would be a great temptation not to send them some kind of “witty” nasty note back, but I digress!

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Xtina March 17, 2010 at 9:45 am

whoops, I mean a great temptation in that it would be very tempting and hard to hold back on sending them a note in response to that awful thank you-note.

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PrincessSimmi March 17, 2010 at 9:49 am

It’s 2am and my cat just threw up on my doona, I burnt the dinner and my new boyfriend is snoring so loudly I can’t sleep. I didn’t think it could get any worse, but with this post, it just did.

I don’t think I have the words to describe how many things are wrong with this, so I’ll just say, blarg!

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Gemma March 17, 2010 at 9:52 am

Wow. Reading between the lines, it’s basically saying, “I can’t be bothered to thank you properly, but since I HAVE to….”

I can’t decide if this is worse than no thank you notes at all!

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Jenn March 17, 2010 at 10:12 am

WOW. I wish I would have saved this thank you note I received at a bridal shower I attended about 12 years ago. The bride-to-be was generally a lovely and gracious person and always polite. So I was a bit befuddled when she decided to save herself some time — and postage and wrist cramps and whatever — by handing out generic thank-you notes to each of the 20 or so guests as we exited the party. As she did this, she actually pointed out her reasons for doing so. She and her mom and sister even seemed proud of the idea, as if it was a terribly clever way to save time and money.

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DGS March 17, 2010 at 10:12 am

That is awful…absolutely tacky and disgusting. You might send them back: “Dear Chrissy and Tom,
We wish we had known how ungrateful, lazy and distasteful you were, or we would not have bought you the lovely _____. We would prefer not to receive anymore printable testaments to your obnoxiousness. Best wishes, ”

And Chocobo, just back-up the list on a flashdrive or a CD-Rom (that’s what I did). My wedding thank-you notes had gone out immediately as they were received; I kept a stack of Thank-you notes, stamps and a pen on the coffee table, and as the gifts came in, the thank-yous went out!

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Virg March 17, 2010 at 10:30 am

I’d say that if you lose your list, you should ‘fess up to not knowing if you don’t. However, “cutesy” cards are not the way to do it. In the situation of losing the gift list I’d send a handwritten note of thanks and apology to each person. At least in that circumstance, they’d have some show of my gratitude and they’d understand why I might not mention the gift specifically.

Virg

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nkkingston March 17, 2010 at 10:33 am

See, if it was, say, a birthday party between adult friends, I could see that being a bit of fun and everyone being in on the joke. For a wedding? Not appropriate.

(though I am amused that Chrisssssy spells her name with 5 Ss)

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Gloria Shiner March 17, 2010 at 11:20 am

At one wedding we went to some pre-teen boys loaded the gifts in cars and managed to either lose or mix up all the cards that went with the gifts. We received a sweet thank you from the couple thanking us for our lovely gift and telling us how much they appreciated our thoughtfulness. I had the feeling when we received it that they had no idea what we gave them, but they did their best with the card.

About a year later when we were at their house for a birthday party I mentioned something about the glasses we had given them. After the party the husband excitedly let the wife know that we were the ones who had given them the glasses. She then confessed to me what had happened and let me know how much they appreciated the gift and apologized for the “generic” thank you note.

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Anonymous March 17, 2010 at 11:22 am

Chocobo, I’m not sure what the proper etiquette is in that situation, but I would think you could fudge it pretty well with a handwritten note that said something like “thank you for the lovely gift” and gushed about how much more special your guest made your day by being there.

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AS March 17, 2010 at 11:27 am

Like Chocobo, I have wondered the same thing myself – what if we actually loose the list of gifts that people gave? Maybe apologize honestly and say that their presence and gift were greatly appreciated. But what if they did not give a gift? That might send wrong signals too, wouldn’t it?

But surely one cannot be as rude as this couple! They probably thought it was funny, but it was not. Period. If I were a guest receiving a thank you, I would understand a genuine apology if someone lost the list as weddings are confusing and mistakes happen. But this kind of letter – well, they’d have been better off not sending a thank you than word it this way!

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Jae March 17, 2010 at 11:38 am

“Thank you for the lovely reminder as to why I will no longer be buying you any gifts.”

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ladycrim March 17, 2010 at 1:00 pm

Translation:

“Dear (Insert Name Here),

Your gift was not important enough for me to acknowledge, or even remember. However, apparently I’m supposed to send out thank-you notes, so here you go. Thank yourself and assume it was appreciated.

Insincerely,

Bride with a stuck ‘S’ key and Groom”

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L.A. Lady March 17, 2010 at 1:23 pm

This is so bad it’s almost funny.

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Mary March 17, 2010 at 2:45 pm

“At one wedding we went to some pre-teen boys loaded the gifts in cars and managed to either lose or mix up all the cards that went with the gifts.”

This is why my mom taught me to always put the card inside the box or underneath the wrapping paper when giving a gift.

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Louise March 17, 2010 at 2:58 pm

I would be very tempted to send them an etiquette book with a note that said, “I should have given you this instead.”

If they were acquaintances, I would not reply and let the relationship fade out. If it’s a close friend, at least I can call and say, “Seriously?”

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Mom March 17, 2010 at 4:51 pm

I will refrain from comment.
However, Chocobo, store registries also maintain lists, so at least you’d know who bought what off of a registry.

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HonorH March 17, 2010 at 7:01 pm

Now, see, this is brilliant. They should mass-market these cards. Why, a pack of them would make a lovely passive-aggressive gift to any couple that doesn’t send out thank-yous.

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PrincessSimmi March 17, 2010 at 7:33 pm

At least she was honest and admitted she’s a lazy arse.

Now you know she’s a gimme-gimme piggy, you don’t need to feed her any more.

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EmmBee March 17, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Wow. To add insult to injury, it’s a computer generated FORM letter. I guess the couple thinks acknowledging their laziness makes it “haha funny ok” instead of even more appalling.

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Funky March 18, 2010 at 7:03 am

I had to send out some thank you notes once, and did not know who gave what besides the few I could remember (I wasn’t the GOH, but since I threw the shower, I didn’t want to be associated with her ingratitude). Those whose gift I could not remember, I thanked for coming, participating in the games and making the night a special one for the bride. With a little creativity, it is possible to get away with this (or at least admit it with class).

Of course, I later got chewed out by the bride – not because she wanted to do the notes herself, but because she wasn’t doing thank-you notes for her wedding gifts and the shower notes ‘made her look bad’. There’s just no pleasing some people.

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Chocobo March 18, 2010 at 9:54 am

Good point on the registry list, “Mom”. I hadn’t thought of that. That would definitely narrow down the amount of gifts that would be detached from the givers.

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SHOEGAL March 18, 2010 at 10:28 am

Serious lack of good taste and so not funny. I once received a pre printed thank you card that had a general little poem about thanking me for sharing in their “magically day” that had not one dot of handwriting on it – not even a signature. Even the address on the envelope – all printed. I thought that was bad – but this takes the cake!!!

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AS March 18, 2010 at 12:37 pm

“”At one wedding we went to some pre-teen boys loaded the gifts in cars and managed to either lose or mix up all the cards that went with the gifts.”
This is why my mom taught me to always put the card inside the box or underneath the wrapping paper when giving a gift.”

I once went to a friend’s brother’s Birthday party, and gave him a gift with the card on top. After some time, I saw the gift, and found that a cousin of my friend’s had written their names in place of my name in the “from” field with permanent marker, and you had to strain to see my name! I pointed it out to my friend and she said that it was probably because they did not bring any gift. I was like WTH! Why should they steal the gift that I bothered to bring then? Mind you – this party mostly had their cousins, and I was invited because I was their neighbor and a good friend of the Birthday boy’s sister. The other guest probably just found a package that wasn’t family, and decided to write their name on it! Anyways, this is a reason that I have started writing my name inside the box ever since, even if I request the store to pack it for me! I was reminded of this story when I read the above comment and thought I’d include it as an added reason to write the name inside.

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ZHall March 18, 2010 at 2:14 pm

Wooooooooah. To think I object to use of cards printed with “Thank You” on the front. Someone once gave me a pack of those as a present, saying “since you always write such wonderful thank-you notes, we thought these would come in handy.” Um, no. Dropped them in the return slot at the public library, saw them in the discard-sales bin the next week. (No chance of giver coming across them.) And sent a thank-you note using my own stationery.

Thumbs up to HonorH and PrincessSimmi!

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Twik March 18, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Yes, it’s possible to write a note that is effulgent in gratitude – without, exactly, mentioning what the Gift that Time (or the HC) Forgot really was. This isn’t it.

I’m sure the couple think their friends will be amused at “Oh, that scatterbrained Chrisssssy and Tom! Isn’t that just like them?” But instead, they are telling their friends that all their gift-giving work and expense was for nothing – the HC didn’t even remember it.

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phoenix March 18, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Honestly, I think the worst part isn’t the almost-all-printed bit, or that they forgot/lost the list. The worst part is that they ask you to fill it in to thank yourself. It doesn’t even come across that they’re thanking you for the gift, you’re thanking yourself.

If it were me, I’d just call and explain the situation, or at worst send out an explanation card asking them to drop me a line to help straighten things out, then send out thank you cards. Thankfully I didn’t have this problem, as 90% of my wedding guests/friends went with the “your gift hasn’t arrived/gee I forgot to bring it to the wedding” route, so the few gifts were easy to keep track of and easily thank people for!

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Momma March 31, 2010 at 3:55 am

Worst thank you note I got was a “mass email” from an employee I used to work with. I could somewhat understand if a large group of us went in on the gift and she did not know where to start on thanking everyone. But there were about 7 of us and we all got her separate gifts.

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chilly March 31, 2010 at 9:55 am

I like Mary’s idea of putting the card/note inside the wrapping. I’ll do this in future.

Mom, you’re right about companies keeping gift registries, for our wedding, many of the gifts were purchased online and two or three guests made the mistake of typing “with very best wishes” or “for [bride] and [groom]” into the field on the order form which was supposed to contain their names. So, when all our gifts were delivered, these two or three gifts arrived saying they were from “with very best wishes” or “dearest [bride] and [groom]“. Not very helpful! lol

Anyway, when we contacted the company itself, they were used to this sort of thing happening and were happy to provide us with the names of the people who’d bought the “anonymous” gifts so we could write appropriate thank you notes.

What did bug me slightly was that there was one couple who are lovely people, but possibly a little disorganised, who were sent a save-the-date email (common practice where I come from) and then a proper invitation. I didn’t hear from them until quite late when they called to ask for more information on where and when the celebration was, saying something which gave me the impression that I’d sent their invitation to their old address. Not wanting our thank you note to go the same way, I instead emailed both halves of the couple to thank them for the beautiful duck down duvet they’d given us (not mentioning the detective work I’d done to track down the giver).

That was September. At Christmas time we received a Christmas card from this couple which contained the line: “Did you receive the duvet we bought you for your wedding?”

????

I was a tad confused and a teensy bit embarrassed because I now thought that they thought that we hadn’t thanked them and were rude! They’re not _such_ bosom buddies with us that we can just pick up the phone and say: “Oh, we didn’t know your address so we thanked you by email”. And, to be fair, they might have lost a paper thank you note in the same way they lost our original paper invitation. :)

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Lisa May 2, 2010 at 7:16 am

Zhall, is it incorrect to use cards that say “Thank You” on the front?

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Princess91765 June 22, 2010 at 3:26 pm

That is just AWFUL. I am absolutely speechless!!

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Jellie June 25, 2010 at 6:10 pm

“Wooooooooah. To think I object to use of cards printed with “Thank You” on the front. Someone once gave me a pack of those as a present, saying “since you always write such wonderful thank-you notes, we thought these would come in handy.” Um, no. Dropped them in the return slot at the public library, saw them in the discard-sales bin the next week. (No chance of giver coming across them.) And sent a thank-you note using my own stationery.”

ZHall, that’s just rude. Instead of acting like you appreciated the GIFT they so thoughtfully thought you would enjoy, you should have told them, “Oh…that is very thoughtful of you, but I really do prefer to handwrite my own thank-you notes, and not use ones with a typed ‘Thank You’ on the front of the card. Thank you all the same though.” Hopefully the person didn’t connect the dots and say, “…Hhheeeeeyyyyyy….didn’t I give her some thank you cards to use? …Why didn’t she use one to send to me…?” The person was obviously think of you and trying to help you probably save time or something of the sort, and thus gave you a package of thank you cards, so that you could write something short on the inside, and send them out. Instead you were just “Um, no. this is stupid, and it’s stupid that you even gave them to me.” is how I preceived that. Somewhat 2-faced also.
Face 1: “Aww, thanks.” — Face 2: “Ugg, no way! note to self; throw away ASAP!!” Fake.

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Leah August 7, 2010 at 12:39 pm

The intelligence of these people was apparent the moment I saw the word “Chrisssssssy”. >_> That note was exceedingly rude and lazy. Ugh.

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gramma dishes August 7, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Are you sure that was an actual Thank You note that a couple really mailed out? It sounds so far over the top that I can’t help but think it’s a parody of those Thank You notes that almost all of us have received at some time in our lives. (Maybe if you’re really young, you haven’t yet experienced this, but I’m willing to bet that someday you will.) You know — the ones that come months and months after the event:

Dear Auntie Anthill and Uncle Ukulele,
Thank you for the gift.
Birdiebrain and Beezlebub

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Jillybean August 8, 2010 at 8:43 am

@ Lisa re: Zhall’s comment. I don’t think (and maybe there is some etiquette here I’m not away of) that there’s anything inherently wrong about using thank you cards that say thank you on the front (I happen to like some of them), as long as the inside doesn’t just say, “Love, Lisa.” :-) I think Zhall was just making the point the she prefers to use her own stationery.

@Jellie – while Zhall’s comments re the gift may come across a little snotty, she thanked the giver appropriately and then did what she wanted with the gift, knowing she wouldn’t use it. That’s actually the polite thing to do. Your only job when receiving a gift is to receive it gracefully – you are never required to like it or keep it, and you should actually never say that you DON’T like it or won’t use it.

Now about the offenders in question – wow, just wow! It’s amazing to me that some people can be so clueless. I’d say, well at least they sent something, but in this case, I think they’d have been better off if they hadn’t. I once got a pre-printed (everything right down the the signature) thank you note for a shower (pretty sure I didn’t get one for that wedding at all) and I thought that was as tacky as it got. Sad to find out I was wrong. Yikes!

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Lenera August 17, 2010 at 6:28 am

Lisa – No, it is not rude to use cards with “Thank You” printed on the front. However, this is a more modern affectation of the older tradition: personalized stationary. Not too many of us actually have monogrammed stationary anymore, so buying a pretty set of cards for your special occasion is perfectly acceptable, so long as you make sure to write something genuine and heartfelt (though, yes, they will be repetitive after a while) on the inside.
For older ladies and gentlemen you wish to thank, however, a more personalized aporach might be better. A plain, old letter will be just as treasured, or a card with only an elegant picture or your initial on the front – but no words! In previous generations, words belonged only on the inside of the note, where they could be kept private.
As for gifting someone stationary, I see nothing wrong with that. But stationary says something about the person who writes on it, and if you don’t like what the stationary says, you are under no obligation to put it to use. Personally, I think a gift card to a stationary shop would be heaven on earth!

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Michelle P September 11, 2010 at 9:56 pm

That note was priceless. Worse than getting none at all.

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