I was in a sorority in college. This means that I met some women whose personalities amaze and inspire but I also learned how to work with those women whose personalities, well, didn’t. One gal (“Veruca”), from the second category, was amazing in other ways.
She was bright and bubbly on a first meeting, and happy to join any group that accepted her. But over time the “it’s-all-about-me” part of her grew more and more apparent. Once, for instance, her roommates got to be the shocked audience of a very irate cell phone call to her pop (“Daddy, I want a squirrel!”) about the NEED for more cell-phone minutes. And this, we learned from Veruca’s very sweet ex ‘A’, was how all the men she knew were treated. But there’s nothing like a wedding for a girl to proclaim “ME Day!” While dating boyfriend “B”, a guy she knew from back home, the wedding magazines started rolling in. “This is the fountain B and I will have at our wedding!” she announced. “This is the ring B’s going to get me when he proposes!” On and on… Weddings, weddings, weddings were all we heard about from this particular single girl. Eventually, it got in the way of Veruca’s school work and (abandoning her roommates to her share of the rent/utilities) she withdrew from college to go back home and wait for that diamond. It never came. Full-story unknown, but if B had eyes, ears, and at least two brain cells… anyway, time marches on.
A few years later another sorority sister, “Ann,” got engaged to the nicest guy she ever met, “Adam,” and invited as many of her sisters as she could to the wedding (one was even a bridesmaid!) Veruca was among the invitees, as was I, and several of us traveled to celebrate Ann and Adam’s big day. After being greeted warmly by Adam, I found some sisters in the church pew and joined them for the ceremony. But Veruca wasn’t there. The ceremony was lovely and Ann and Adam thanked us for coming and reminded us that although the reception would be a bit late because of pictures, hors d’oeuvres were waiting for us. As we walked to our cars and discussed directions to the party, Veruca and friends X and Y, rolled in.
“Let’s find a bar!” they declared. I don’t know why, but I and the other sisters joined them. Veruca, X, and Y found a local dive in the wedding town and became to consume. After a few beers each, they decided we should head to the reception. When we arrived and found our seats, they immediately hit the open bar. Ann and Adam not only made their rounds and chatted with everyone but Ann spent as much time as she could with her sisters, inviting us to dance, asking about new jobs, friends, etc. But through the whole thing, Veruca, X, and Y sat at their table, smoked, drank, and pouted. They DID ask the see the engagement ring and complimented Ann on it’s size before describing exactly what they’d require before taking the plunge. During the bouquet toss, they made it clear they’d NOT be the next to be married (I mean, what kind of a fool does THAT!) and avoided the bouquet as though it was poison ivy. ( A statement that I believe was made popular by a wedding scene from ‘Sex and the City.’) Despite the anti-marriage vibe Veruca gave off and clearly stated, I still smelled jealousy.
Now, I believe everyone may choose for themselves if marriage is the right path. And I respect that for Veruca and many others, it may not be. But was this the same gal who bought bridal magazines for months without even being engaged? Maybe she forgets that marriage is the purpose of a wedding, not just a pretty ring/dress/flowers. The least she could do was respect that for Ann, marriage was the chosen path and go to her wedding (yes, wedding ceremony not just reception with open bar) with an open mind and joy for her sorority sister’s big day.
Anyway, I’m just one guest ranting about another. The bride never expressed anything to this effect and for that she’s a better person than I am. (Which I already knew, anyway. Especially considering the nice, personal thank-you note I got for my inexpensive gift.) Veruca, though, I fear is still a wannabe bridezilla. I pity the poor future groom, wherever he is… 0902-08