Veruca Wants A Squirrel

by admin on March 18, 2010

I was in a sorority in college.  This means that I met some women whose personalities amaze and inspire but I also learned how to work with those women whose personalities, well, didn’t.  One gal (“Veruca”), from the second category, was amazing in other ways.

She was bright and bubbly on a first meeting, and happy to join any group that accepted her.  But over time the “it’s-all-about-me” part of her grew more and more apparent.  Once, for instance, her roommates got to be the shocked audience of a very irate cell phone call to her pop (“Daddy, I want a squirrel!”) about the NEED for more cell-phone minutes.   And this, we learned from Veruca’s very sweet ex ‘A’, was how all the men she knew were treated.  But there’s nothing like a wedding for a girl to proclaim “ME Day!”  While dating boyfriend “B”,  a guy she knew from back home, the wedding magazines started rolling in.  “This is the fountain B and I will have at our wedding!” she announced.  “This is the ring B’s going to get me when he proposes!” On and on…   Weddings, weddings, weddings were all we heard about from this particular single girl.  Eventually, it got in the way of Veruca’s school work and (abandoning her roommates to her share of the rent/utilities) she withdrew from college to go back home and wait for that diamond.  It never came.  Full-story unknown, but if B had eyes, ears, and at least two brain cells… anyway, time marches on.

A few years later another sorority sister, “Ann,” got engaged to the nicest guy she ever met, “Adam,” and invited as many of her sisters as she could to the wedding (one was even a bridesmaid!)  Veruca was among the invitees, as was I, and several of us traveled to celebrate Ann and Adam’s big day.  After being greeted warmly by Adam, I found some sisters in the church pew and joined them for the ceremony.  But Veruca wasn’t there.  The ceremony was lovely and Ann and Adam thanked us for coming and reminded us that although the reception would be a bit late because of pictures, hors d’oeuvres were waiting for us.  As we walked to our cars and discussed directions to the party, Veruca and friends X and Y, rolled in.

“Let’s find a bar!” they declared.  I don’t know why, but I and the other sisters joined them.  Veruca, X, and Y found a local dive in the wedding town and became to consume.  After a few beers each, they decided we should head to the reception.  When we arrived and found our seats, they immediately hit the open bar.  Ann and Adam not only made their rounds and chatted with everyone but Ann spent as much time as she could with her sisters, inviting us to dance, asking about new jobs, friends, etc.  But through the whole thing, Veruca, X, and Y sat at their table, smoked, drank, and pouted.  They DID ask the see the engagement ring and complimented Ann on it’s size before describing exactly what they’d require before taking the plunge.  During the bouquet toss, they made it clear they’d NOT be the next to be married (I mean, what kind of a fool does THAT!) and avoided the bouquet as though it was poison ivy.  ( A statement that I believe was made popular by a wedding scene from ‘Sex and the City.’)  Despite the anti-marriage vibe Veruca gave off and clearly stated, I still smelled jealousy.

Now, I believe everyone may choose for themselves if marriage is the right path.  And I respect that for Veruca and many others, it may not be. But was this the same gal who bought bridal magazines for months without even being engaged?  Maybe she forgets that marriage is the purpose of a wedding, not just a pretty ring/dress/flowers. The least she could do was respect that for Ann, marriage was the chosen path and go to her wedding (yes, wedding ceremony not just reception with open bar) with an open mind and joy for her sorority sister’s big day.

Anyway, I’m just one guest ranting about another.  The bride never expressed anything to this effect and for that she’s a better person than I am.  (Which I already knew, anyway.  Especially considering the nice, personal thank-you note I got for my inexpensive gift.)  Veruca, though, I fear is still a wannabe bridezilla.  I pity the poor future groom, wherever he is…  0902-08

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Bint March 18, 2010 at 6:23 am

Although Veruca sounds a bit of a pain, I really can’t see why the letter writer is so worked up about her. She didn’t do anything massively horrendous, and the bride wasn’t bothered. And complaining about her drinking and smoking – what’s that got to do with anything? The writer went to the bar with her anyway!

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Kerry March 18, 2010 at 8:45 am

I’m also not sure exactly what the big faux pas was. Now, I’m not incredibly familiar with wedding traditions. Is it considered very rude to skip the ceremony and only show up at the reception? But the letter writer skimmed over that part and implied that Veruca skipping the bouquet toss and giving off an anti-marriage vibe was the issue. I don’t think that’s such a big deal, though I suppose it depends on the volume and nastiness with which she bashed marriage at a wedding.

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Amber March 18, 2010 at 10:19 am

Is it a bad thing that pouty, stick-in-the-mud guests don’t bother me anymore, compared to the evil creatures that have been featured on this site? Sure they were somewhat unpleasant, but if all they did was kvetch about the bouquet toss and go on about what THEIR engagement ring was going to look like, I think the bride got off easy!

My biggest beef is that they attended the reception without going to the wedding ceremony. That’s pretty bad form right there.

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SHOEGAL March 18, 2010 at 10:21 am

I agree – what did Veruca do that was so terrible? I don’t think missing the ceremony so horrible a crime either.

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Leigh March 18, 2010 at 12:14 pm

I agree with Bint… I don’t see what the breach of etiquette is. Annoying bahavior maybe but no faux pas.

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AS March 18, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Veruca seems to be an immature and even annoying character. She might turn into a bridezilla if and when she gets married. She shows certain obsessive and maybe bipolar (wanting to be married, and after a few years not wanting to) traits. I can relate a former roommate I had to her and hence can empathize with people who have to deal with her. But I still don’t understand what the writer is getting at. What has she done to send her to e-hell? If the writer had highlighted her snobbish side, or maybe if smoking was prohibited in the reception site, or she over-shadowed the bride, etc., that would have made some sense. But though it seems she was obsessed brat, the poster could have easily avoided her. She was not harming anyone else except herself.

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ZHall March 18, 2010 at 2:33 pm

This bride sounds like a paragon of graciousness. Thanks for sharing a positive example!

Although not (no longer) religious, I find skipping the ceremony to be one of the most offensive things a guest can do. Presuming, that is, that invitations to the ceremony are issued … I didn’t.

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PrincessSimmi March 18, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Hmmm… Definitely future bridezilla material, but like everyone else said, not sure about the faux pas. I’d like to know the etiquette for planning your wedding before even getting engaged? I always felt it was bad luck to do so, as if you were dooming your future marriage- I devoted myself to planning my funeral instead. :)

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Twik March 18, 2010 at 4:34 pm

Sex and the City? Long before that was ever on the air I recall attending a wedding where the bride had to chase down the single women and fire the bouquet like a fastball, we were all so reluctant to receive it. Let’s face it, what woman WANTS to personify the stereotype of “single girl, not getting any younger, so desperate to get married she’ll fight her fellow singletons for some flowers on the superstitious basis it’ll give her an advantage”? It’s not anti-marriage to want to avoid looking like you’re desperate for a man of your own.

I have the feeling that the letter writer EXPECTED a great story out of Veruca, and can’t quite face that, really, she didn’t do anything particularly horrible (or interesting).

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Fox March 18, 2010 at 4:59 pm

It sounds like possibly the writer wouldn’t even have noticed any “off” behaviour if she hadn’t already known Veruca and was probably on the look-out for “mememe” moments. I don’t mean to be petty, but I was more irritated by all the grammatical errors in this letter than Veruca’s behaviour, tbh.

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Snewt March 18, 2010 at 7:44 pm

I can just hear the bride’s side of this story… “I invited some of my sorority sisters to my wedding. One of them had been in and out of bad relationships and was a little jealous of my marriage, but she did her best to cover up her resentment. However, one of my other sisters spent more time watching Veruca than my husband and I! It’s like she was waiting for Veruca to do something bad so she could tattle about it! I didn’t realize that my beautiful wedding would be a spectator sport!”

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NotCinderell March 19, 2010 at 7:46 am

This entry could have been written about my sister, except that the timetable doesn’t quite match up. When my (younger, very attractive) sister was about 23, she became obsessed with marriage, claiming that she was going to find a rich guy who was going to shower her with wealth and live a fabulous life as a married woman. At one point, when she was 24 and I was 27, she actually made a snarky comment to me that I was jealous of her because she was going to get married soon and I was going to be an old maid. At the time, she had been on one date with a new guy and was a little obsessed. There would not be a second date.

I’m sorry, but I was unable to comply with her fantasies, and I met the love of my life at 28 and married at 29. We’ll celebrate our 5th anniversary in a couple of months. My sister turns 31 next month and isn’t engaged, as far as I know. (I actually stopped speaking to her a couple of years ago because of her nasty and erratic behavior). While I usually don’t look down on women who don’t marry before the age of 30, I have to chuckle a little bit at my sister, the old maid. I could totally see her acting this way at a friend’s wedding.

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Mechtilde March 20, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Unless there are extremely good reason for not being able to do so, I do think that it is very rude not to attend a wedding ceremony, and just go to the reception (assuming that one is invited to both)

As for describing precisely the type of ring required to induce them into marriage, this behaviour strikes me as rapacious. Furthermore, pouting and making a fuss about avoiding the bouquet toss (I’m reading between the lines here, but “avoided the bouquet as though it was poison ivy” does not make it sound as though they were discreet) are bad form.

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Millie March 21, 2010 at 6:55 am

skipping the wedding ceremony and attending the reception is incredibly rude, as is bringing along uninvited guests (I’m not clear on whether X & Y were just Veruca’s friends or actual invitees??) but I agree, that’s sort of buried amid a lot of information about things that aren’t rude at all. Participating in the bouquet toss isn’t compulsory.

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