At the time that I found this terrific site, I was embroiled in my own etiquette hell situation with a roommate who we’ll simply call Mary. She didn’t have many friends due to her tendencies to be a little bit rude and uncouth but there were those of us, like myself, who put up with her to keep things peaceful. We lived with two other girls, and peace wasn’t always easy, but I hate drama, so whenever Mary committed an uncouth crime in our house, usually I was the one putting out the fire.
The one thing she wanted more than anything was to get married. She bought books about it, talked about it, attended seminars about it and I felt sorry for the poor guys she would have crushes on. I knew it was hard on her with the three of us having boyfriends around, but she would chastise us for sitting too close or coming home too late submitting ourselves to “Unnecessary temptations” (in case you were wondering, she was a very strict, conservative Catholic – I’m a born again Christian, but this was way overboard). She met an Army guy online, and started a fiery slew of communications with him, sending him constant care packages. He wrote a couple of times, but she threw herself into this fully.
Over a holiday weekend, this guy finally came back to the States where they met face to face for the first time. I was out of town with my fiance at the time, so I was spared watching them makeout constantly, but none of my roommates or close friends were. Within about a week of this, my fiance had a nervous breakdown and suddenly left town, breaking up with me in the process. I was crushed and heartbroken. I wasn’t sleeping and was emotionally volatile, often going off by myself to cry. That weekend, Mary and her soldier got engaged. She announced it to me by having me wake up with her ring finger literally inches from my face. I tried to pass it off as her excitement, which I wasn’t going to rob her of, but things got testy, when I found her crying in our room. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was happy to be called to be someone’s wife. I mentioned that maybe she should get to know him a little better on a face to face basis, she immediately shot back with, “I really don’t feel called to take advice from you because you’re a failure at relationships.”
I was angry, but my reaction was to avoid her, not easy when you share a bedroom. She was planning on moving out by the end of the month, so I figured I could make it. She upped the game by cornering me one morning before work and said, “Why aren’t you sharing in my joy?”
The tacky train came to full speed when a few of us received an email from her, telling us when she was leaving and how much she’d like us to throw her a going away/engagement party and gave a few suggestions of restaurants to hold it at. Attached was a guest list of 150 people she wanted invited. A mutual friend who’s a saint, volunteered to organize one, but at someone’s apartment. Not only did only ten people show up, but her fiance, who was in town, couldn’t be bothered to show up. Needless to say, when she moved out, we were happy to wish her well on her way.
I wasn’t invited to the wedding but a friend showed me the invitation. Enclosed with the invitation were two envelopes. One for RSVPing (no stamp) and one for cash gifts. I wish I could say I was surprised, but I wasn’t. 0317-10