According to MIL, diabetes is not an excuse to inconvenience everyone.
It was agreed upon very early that the in-laws (ILs) would host us a rehearsal dinner the day before our wedding. Fast forward to two months before the wedding. She called to discuss schedules for rehearsal and dinner. She told me she planned on having the rehearsal at 7:00 PM the day before the wedding then have the rehearsal dinner after. Estimated start of the dinner would be between 9:00 PM and 9:30. At this point of the story I should mention that my mother has insulin dependent juvenile diabetes. She has to eat at certain times or her sugar becomes unmanageable and to be blunt she either faints or goes into a coma.
I mention to MIL my mother’s condition and that I would like her to eat with us and would appreciate it if we could have the dinner before the rehearsal. To MIL this was unacceptable. Her exact words were, “Why should all of us be inconvenienced for her?” Later that night I talked to DH and he talked to MIL. She then changes it so that the dinner is at 5:00pm and the rehearsal will be afterwards.
Problem solved? Wrong. Two days before the dinner she calls to tell me the time has changed due to DH’s brother getting in late; which would cause him to miss the dinner. I bring up my mother. MIL tells me, “I think it’s just selfish that your mother is using this as an excuse to inconvenience everyone. No one has the dinner before the rehearsal. It comes down to the fact that my son being there is more important than whether or not your mother eats. She can just pack crackers or something to hold herself over. I’ve made up my mind. <phone hangs up>” I literally had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I alerted my family to MIL’s behavior and we came up with another plan.
We chose to have our own rehearsal dinner with my mom at the originally scheduled time with my side of the family, just at a different place. It worked out wonderfully for us because we were not starving during the rehearsal. MIL’s rehearsal dinner food was served around 10:00 PM. I would also like to add MIL was none too pleased that no one from the bride’s side ate anything at her rehearsal dinner.
After the wedding, I told her she had nothing to be upset over. After all, DH’s brother was at the dinner. And I continued to tell her that since I figured she didn’t mind that my mother would not be able to eat at the rehearsal dinner, since medically she was not capable, that she wouldn’t mind if we all chose not to eat so she wouldn’t stand out.