Nags At Weddings

by admin on April 12, 2011

Years ago, in a past lifetime, I was working as a journalist for a small rural newspaper; covered four major towns and another dozen minor towns/settlements in Western Australia.

One day I get a request to cover the wedding of the son of a prominent local business owner. Mother of the Groom (MoG) was also a big advertiser in our paper so I was tasked to get a pic for the social page as a gesture of good will to her.

So I contact MoG for details of the nuptials. That’s when I get told the Bride has decided that she doesn’t want to take a horse-drawn carriage to the church (so old fashioned), she wants to RIDE THE HORSE DOWN THE MAIN STREET. Good idea but she never factored in the physical difficulty of straddling (as in leg on either side of the horse), while wearing a big floofy white wedding dress and still looking elegant. Forget the strappy stiletto heels for a moment.

Fortunately MoG had used her considerable local connections and managed to find a local farmer with a couple of quiet and presentable nags to loan for the day. I say a couple because there were two of them, two because Mother of the Bride (MoB) has decided that making a grand entrance from the back of a horse is a great idea and she wants a piece of the action…ummm….I mean Mum wants to share in her daughter’s special day!

So we assemble in the carpark at one end of town, at the opposite end of the main street from the church. The Bridesmaids/Best Man/Grooms are all to travel up the street in a fleet of vintage cars followed by the horses.

It was while we were assembled in the carpark that they discovered a rather big hitch in this grand wedding plan. MoB’s decision to ride with her daughter was rather last-minute and she had neglected to find out if her own wedding attire was suitable to riding a horse….remember they are not riding side-saddle?!
MoB has chosen a lovely suit with a mauve jacket, white blouse and mauve skirt….a short (knee length) tight skirt…see my problem? She couldn’t get on the horse very elegantly with such a tight skirt, let alone straddle it.

In the end MoB had to roll that skirt pretty-much up to her groin in order to sit comfortable….roll it up all the way round, not just tuck the back part under her bum and roll a bit of the front in order to free her knees!!

So mother and daughter had to ride almost a mile along the main street of town -in front of lots of curious bystanders (the clip-clop of hooves on asphalt always makes heads turn)- with mum practically using her skirt as a pink belt, showing the world her knobbly knees, veiny calves and cottage-cheese thighs. The bride’s wedding dress was also bunched up in a rather odd fashion (again forgot to check the physics of riding a horse when designing her outfit).

That was probably the most bizarre wedding I ever had to photograph; the poor official (wedding) photographer and I had to work REALLY hard to get some “decent” photos of that event! basically a lot of shots side-on with bride in front and slightly ahead so her body or the horse’s neck hid mum’s legs.

Pity the bride, you don’t want to censor you wedding photos to hide what color knickers your MUM was wearing!   0411-11

With that story leading off today’s post, here are some videos of weddings and horses gone bad.  The first demonstrates that even the best of horses can be startled by something as common as people clapping….

I suspect in this next video the pair of horses had not been desensitized to the flapping, white, drapey things at their heads and when they  catch a glimpse from behind their blinkers, the panic ensues as they try to flee these scary things at their heads.

I suspect the horses in this video were not desensitized as well as they could have been to loud music.  While the driver pops them with the whip when they balk, he doesn’t appear to be using his other method of control, his voice.   And the screaming guests make matters worse because they spook the horses further.  For God’s sake, if you see horses getting out of control, shut your mouth!

This last video demonstrates an epic fail on so many levels.  What kind of idiots bring a stallion AND a  mare in heat to work a wedding?  When the stallion mounts the mare, the danger to people, vehicles passing by, the horses is unbelievably high.   And then you have the idiot yelling “whoa” while another is whipping.  Talk about mixed signals.   The moron  who kicks the stallion in the groin….if he is the stallion’s handler/owner, he’s saving face by taking it out on the animal rather than dealing with the reality that his animal is poorly trained and handled.   The moral of the stories is, if you want horses at your wedding, make sure the people handling them are experts.

{ 73 comments… read them below or add one }

Iris April 12, 2011 at 6:12 am

And people wonder why I am nervous of horses…They can be dangerous animals if not properly handled/trained. And even reasonably well trained horses can take fright at something unfamiliar.

– In the second video I thought it was the morons honking their car horns that set off the horses rather than their white flappy things. It’s fairly elementary that if you see a horse on the road you do NOT honk your horn.

– In the third video I thought the bride handled something that must have been very frightening with a fair bit of good humour with the crack about the wedding disasters show :) What a shame that the groom had to put such a melodramatic “Our wedding was ruined” epilogue to the youtube clip.

– I couldn’t even watch all of the fourth clip. What a total and yet avoidable disaster.

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admin April 12, 2011 at 7:35 am

I own an Amish trained driving pony and 18 wheeled tractor trailers can pass her on the road, tooting their horns, and she’s not fazed one bit. It’s all in the training.

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David April 12, 2011 at 7:19 am

I hope everyone involved is ok, watching the videos I was so scared for all (especially the poor horses.)

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Mechtilde April 12, 2011 at 7:36 am

Never work with animals and children!

I was going into work one very windy day, when I saw a wedding party getting ready to set off. In some traditions the groom rides a white horse, and they were setting off from just outside our public building.

The horse was not a happy animal- the wind had freaked it out completely and it was NOT standing still. I still wonder how they managed to get him onto the horse and if he managed to get to the ceremony in one piece.

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ellesee April 12, 2011 at 7:42 am

Hmph, the third video should be titled “Never trust the idiot who trained the horses.” The bride did take it in humorously and good thing everybody seemed unharmed.

The 4th video made me angry on how ignorant and abusive these trainers are. I felt very sad for the horses, especially the mare, who had no means of escaping or being comfortable in that situation.

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ellesee April 12, 2011 at 7:50 am

Sorry, I should also comment on the OP’s story. While I don’t have a problem with riding horses for events as long as they are well-treated (a nearby city has a famous annual parade with beautiful, well-trained horses), I think it is bizzare and ungraceful to ride inappropriately with the private regions in full view. If she cared more about being cool and riding horses down the street to show off…..well I say justice is served :op

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NotCinderell April 12, 2011 at 7:55 am

It sickens me when people treat animals like accessories.

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Katy April 12, 2011 at 8:09 am

The most unbelievable thing in all of this, to me anyway, is that after the guests in the first video have startled the horse by clapping their response to the horse calming down is to clap AGAIN even louder. Granted the horse was much further away, but even so it doesn’t strike me as the best logic in the world, even for people who maybe don’t know much about animals. It’s almost as if they want the poor girl (who appears to have nothing more than a pommel to hold) to fall off.

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Kaye April 12, 2011 at 8:12 am

I feel like this post is entirely too rude in its tone. The MoG is vain and short-sighted, to be sure, but for the poster to harp on such petty things as the woman’s “knobbly knees, veiny calves and cottage-cheese thighs” reeks of hurtful intentions (and that’s just as rude as commandeering Main St.) I’m sure this situation made for an awkward day of paid labor, but the MoG’s poor decisions hurt only her daughter-in-law and her own reputation. I like to see posts on poor etiquette and advice, not spiteful descriptions of family shit-shows.

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Tiffany April 12, 2011 at 8:18 am

At least the bride in the first video appears to know how to ride well enough to stay on at least. Got to look a little extra dramatic on her day.

I have to ask, admin, since you seem to know about horses: the guy apparently kicking the stallion in the privates, is that really necessary in that situation? To me it just looks abusive, and I have the urge to go up and do the same to the guy.

But yeah, much as I adore horses, for the sake of the horse’s mental health and that of my guests, I wouldn’t choose a big horsey entrance for my wedding, unless every guest there was a horsey person who knew how to behave if something went wrong.

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Tiffany April 12, 2011 at 8:19 am

Oops, idiot, just read the paragraph under the video more closely, and you answered my question. My apologies!

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Lilya April 12, 2011 at 8:25 am

I wonder how many people who wanted to have horses in their weddings actually had any interaction with a real one beforehand…

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1st-Time Mommy April 12, 2011 at 8:39 am

I grew up with horses, and it has always amazed how little common sense people can use around these animals. Because horses are perceived as “docile”, people will walk right up to a strange horse (even if they wouldn’t do the same with, say, a large dog). The bottom line is that, if you don’t know the animal, don’t make assumptions about its behavior.

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Louise April 12, 2011 at 8:46 am

The last one made me mad. That was cruelty to animals.

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badkitty April 12, 2011 at 8:46 am

I don’t understand the behavior of the guests in the first video at all… if you see that the horse spooks and bolts at applause, why would you start clapping even louder just when the handler has got the horse under control again? Duh. The screaming in the third one is a bit more understandable, as a natural reaction to a frightening situation (though anyone with any basic knowledge of animals should know better, have none of these people ever had a pet?) but to continue to do more of the thing that just set off a panic reaction in a large animal is too stupid for words.

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ferretrick April 12, 2011 at 8:52 am

I really want to kick the guy in the last video in the privates a few times myself.

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Maitri April 12, 2011 at 9:22 am

I’m glad I can’t see YouTube videos at work. I don’t want to watch animal abuse videos.

I work with horses regularly and I am convinced that they’re the gentlest creatures on the planet – and they can also be the flightiest and most nervous.

@ Kaye – I thought the same thing. Obviously the MoB made an error of judgement in planning to ride the horse in such an outfit (although I would have just ducked into a store and bought a different one, personally, before riding), but that doesn’t mean she deserves to have her physical appearance denigrated to thousands of people on the interwebs. IMO the way a person looks has no bearing on how rude he/she is. Harping on her appearance is in poor taste on the letter writer’s part.

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SHOEGAL April 12, 2011 at 9:26 am

I want to know what the message says after the bridal incident where the carriage tips over – I played it a number of times but still couldn’t make it out. I saw that it said that his wife and the bridesmaids were unhurt – but something happened and the wedding was ruined anyway???

I can’t even watch the last video – if it were me – the wedding would have been ruined by that man kicking the horse repeatedly. I wouldn’t have been able to erase that from my mind.

Unless a particular horse means something to you – and you want the horse or horses to share in your day and you know they can handle it – then I would say it was okay to involve them. Otherwise – it is not a good idea.

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Daisy April 12, 2011 at 9:31 am

Horses are intelligent and beautiful animals, but they’re easily spooked and require training and care when encountering new situations. If you’re bound and determined to include them in your wedding, it’s up to you to make sure beforehand that their handlers know what they’re doing. And ladies: there’s no graceful way to mount a horse, ride astride, or dismount while wearing a voluminous wedding gown without displaying your underwear and getting horse sweat on all that lovely white taffeta. If you insist on riding, do yourself a favour and learn to ride sidesaddle.

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Rachel April 12, 2011 at 9:40 am

My God…I love horses, and have been riding for more than half my life. I actually wouldn’t mind having a horse in my wedding…but my DF and I are both very experienced riders and have handled horses for YEARS. In situations like these, the horse has to be completely bomb-proof. I’m betting that none of these horses were put in situations like this before; i.e., the rehearsal was sans ponies. MISTAKE. The horses should be walked through a situation with stimuli identical to what they will experience on the big day to ensure they’re mentally prepared for it. That means with crowds, clapping, music, horns…whatever. It IS possible to have horses prepared for these kinds of big events, but it takes WORK!

And that last video…sweet Jesus. I blame the stallion’s handler, in this case. A properly handled and trained stallion understands that work time takes precendence over sexytimes. Properly handled and trained stallions can run through intricate dressage routines with a mare in heat right next to them and not bat an eye. The fact that the stallion in that video ignored his rider, and jumped on a mare IN HARNESS while still tacked up himself tells me that he has been very poorly trained and should NEVER have been put in that situation. And trying to beat him off the mare? Kicking him in the groin? Great horse-handling, you bastards. Do that poor beast a favour; sell him and buy yourself an ATV.

The mare, on the other hand, looked like a good, well-trained animal. She didn’t panic, held still when her handler came to hold her head, and didn’t try to bolt even though the situation must have been frightening and uncomfortable. I hope she’s in a good place.

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Kovitlac April 12, 2011 at 9:51 am

I love horses with a passion, and am able to ride reasonably well. That said, I never plan on having horses as part of my my eventual wedding. They’re beautiful animals, and reliable IF they are trained well. Plus there would be people there who just wouldn’t know how to act around horses, and too many other unavoidable factors (there’s always going to be ‘some’ noises that could startle a horse, flapping banners or dresses, a plane flying over, etc etc).

The last video is sickening – I fail to see how kicking a horse ANYWHERE is helpful in getting it to do what you want. I’ve never heard of such a thing. That man should be ashamed of himself for abusing an animals that’s, frankly, only doing what comes naturally, and should have been trained better in the first place.

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Xtina April 12, 2011 at 10:01 am

I can’t watch the videos (blocked here), but I have seen each of the scenarios described played out plenty of times in the lifetime I’ve spent riding and training horses. It amazes me how stupid some people are around animals in general, and it angers me when people who don’t know anything about them act as though they do, or don’t step back, stay quiet, and defer to the animal’s handler at all times. I am quite experienced with horses, but I would never presume that I know more than the horse’s (or other animal’s) owner about the nature of their own animal. Always err on the side of caution.

Even if I knew nothing about animals, I would still presume it to be common sense for my own safety that I shouldn’t make loud noises or sudden moves—yet this escapes so many people. Any person who is going to “rent” an animal for an event should be required to learn at least some basic handling techniques, and spend some time getting to know the animal prior to the event. Animals can add a lovely touch and a lot of fun to a special event, but even the best trained animals can have a bad day or a scare. They all need to be handled with respect, care, and caution for their own safety as well as that of the people they’re serving.

As for the idiots who sent a stallion and a mare in heat to an event and are abusing them in an effort to prevent them from doing what comes naturally—they should be reported to the local authorities. I would question their methods if this is what they’re doing in public (not to mention the mistake of sending those two animals to begin with, knowing their condition).

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Gena April 12, 2011 at 10:15 am

I have a few horses that I ride, and I have NEVER ridden one of them that didn’t decide to relieve themselves at some point. How classy is it to be sitting on a horse in a wedding gown while the horse stops in the middle of the street to take care of business?

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Elizabeth April 12, 2011 at 10:21 am

Yes, showing you butt and nethers in public is rude. But so is talking about someone’s “knobbly knees, veiny calves and cottage-cheese thighs”. That is just unneeded snark.

I’ve never understood riding a horse (not in a carriage) at a wedding unless horses are a big part of your life or culture. The wedding should be a reflection of the bride and groom.

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livvy April 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

Really, isn’t the whole march-down-the aisle enough look-at-me drama? How much spectacle does a person need?

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Hal April 12, 2011 at 10:34 am

Please, please stop using important life rituals to show off! People experienced with horses never put them in unfamiliar situations. The horses may not behave well. It is not worth the risk. Watch the humans in these unfamiliar situations. (Such as men used to jeans and tee shirts forced to wear black tie to satisfy some bride’s “dream.”) They sometimes don’t behave well either. But, humans don’t weigh 1000 pounds plus. The pictures are less important than your guests’ safety. Behave like the people you are. Don’t be pretentious.

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Jen April 12, 2011 at 10:44 am

Judging the Bride’s mother according to her looks is a terrible thing to do, far more terrible than having a silly lapse of judgement over the appropriateness of her clothing.

People get old. Our bodies start to sag, our thighs get wiggly, and our veins start to show. Women especially have to suffer the indignities of people who judge us for the effects of time. It’s too bad that the writer had to get his/her two cents in regarding how awful the Bride’s mother was for being an old lady.

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elicat April 12, 2011 at 10:54 am

@Rachel–I agree. They must have not practiced beforehand. Personally I would have used ponies, even though horses are more grand. I’ve ridden ponies many times, and they are very gentle. Unless a person knows how to handle a certain animal, it’s wise to not approach it.

@1st Time Mommy–I agree. Same with dogs. People approach them with their hands open–what’s gonna happen if the dog bites your hand? If you’re going to do it, at least let the dog sniff the top of your fist first.

I can’t stand watching animals being abused. I get sickened just by seeing dead animals on the side of the road myself.

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admin April 12, 2011 at 11:17 am

Elicat, I would disagree that ponies are inherently more gentle than horses. Some of the worst injuries I’ve acquired while being around equines have been from ponies. Had the wind knocked out of me when I got bucked off, pulled shoulder when I fell off a Shetland pony stallion, bruise in the stomach from a double barrel back kick. They can bite, buck, kick, spook just as well as horses.

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Princess Buttercup April 12, 2011 at 10:55 am

Actually the third one was due to nature conditions. There has been interviews with all involved in that clip and the problem was that the hill was steep and their had been a bit of rain that day that caused the horses to slip while trying to get up the steep hill. That slipping and inability to move anymore caused the horses to get nervous and start backing up and gravity took over.
The wagon driver should have done a test run earlier after the rain but before they had the wagon full of people.
At least the family member that was hurt was able to get back in time for the reception, he just had to miss his grandaughters wedding.

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Princess Buttercup April 12, 2011 at 11:02 am

ShoeGal, the writing is tiny, I only know what it says because I’ve seen interviews with many of the main people at that wedding.
What it says is that the brides grandfather got his shoulder dislocated and had to go to the hospital so their wedding was ruined. The grandfather made it back for part of the reception so the bride was happy to have at least that but she was very close to her grandfather and was upset that he had to miss the actual wedding.

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Rlbsmith April 12, 2011 at 11:12 am

I had a horse drawn carriage at my wedding, in the middle of town but I had my dad and brothers in the wedding party who were the owners of the horses, as well as a back up handler who was not a guest at the wedding on the sidelines. Safety was the highest priority especially with children and elderly guests in attendance. it was an unwritten rule that if the horses were acting up, we would forego the carriage ride in favour of a vehicle. I didn’t expect an animal to behave because it was MY day. it’s an animal people! not an accessory to YOUR day! Boggles the mind!

On another note, at my brother’s wedding, the horses were all hitched and waiting for us outside the church. just as the ceremony ended it poured rain with thunder and lightning. Bridal party all opted for vehicles, obviously, and headed for the photography studio on main street. As we were looking out the windows, down main street came the two horse handlers, (also dear friends of the groom) riding the carriage with a just married sign on the back, sopping wet. As they spied us throught the window of the studio, one threw his arm around the other and gave him a big kiss on the cheek! I still laugh to think about it! What a much nicer memory than what these videos illustrate!

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ferretrick April 12, 2011 at 11:19 am

In fairness, though, to all the people saying don’t have horses at your wedding unless you are sure they are properly trained…if I rent animals from a professional business I would expect the animals to be properly trained and the handler to know what they’re doing. I don’t see why it’s the bride and groom’s responsiblity to insure the animal is trained, any more than it is their responsiblity when any other wedding vendor screws up.

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ashley April 12, 2011 at 11:31 am

Lol when will we ever learn that horses and weddings don’t mix? >.< I’d never use one at my own wedding since I’m too nervous around them due to how big and easily spooked they can be. Their teeth in particular scare me because theyre so big and look like they could really really hurt if they bit you xD I prefer to admire them from a distance than up close.

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Rachel April 12, 2011 at 11:33 am

Elicat, I have to disagree with you…ponies are smaller because they evolved in much harsher conditions than larger horses. This means that they can also be much tougher, more stubborn, and ill-tempered than horses are. I’ve seen ponies cause horrible accidents and lash out at riders with almost no provocation. I’ve seen ponies drop and roll over on their riders because they were tired of working. I myself sustained a severe kick from a pony when I was trying to bring him in from the pasture (and no, I didn’t approach him from behind; he acted relaxed and complacent until I got within striking distance, pivoted on his forehooves and nailed me). I’ve also seen some wonderful, gentle ponies, don’t get me wrong…but trusting in ponies because they are “naturally more gentle” is a dangerous misconception.

I will make another point with regards to the topic at large…if you’re bound and determined to ride a horse during your wedding and you have no previous experience, for the love of God TAKE SOME RIDING LESSONS. I don’t care if you plan for the horse to be led; that handler isn’t going to be much help if the horse decides “Screw this,”, rips the lead line away and heads for the hills. A few lessons in riding and handling can make the difference between a brief scare and a crippling injury.

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JAYS April 12, 2011 at 11:37 am

Just a note on another aspect of this post. I also work for a newspaper. I don’t blame the reporter (hey, I’ve been there), but it’s extremely bad form and questionable ethics to cover something only because someone involved is an advertiser. And this seriously leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

If a newspaper can’t be counted on to report what’s reportable (and not report what’s not reportable!) regardless of who advertises, it’s not much of a newspaper at all.

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Gloria Shiner April 12, 2011 at 11:37 am

I was asked to have one of my horses used in a wedding to transport a member of the wedding party a short distance. The ceremony was away from any roads, most of the people at the wedding knew at least something about horses and my horses are in parades, shows, rodeos, and on mixed-use trails. I originally agreed to the request but later had to withdraw my agreement since that particular horse was needed for a parade and rodeo on the same day. The bride understood and found a suitable replacement. I was actually glad that I withdrew the horse because the wedding guests were transported to the ceremony in a horse-drawn wagon. The one thing that this particular horse is nervous about is horse-drawn wagons. He would have been fine with me on him, but with an unfamiliar, unexperienced rider it could have been a really bad situation.

BTW, in that case, all the horses ridden by the wedding party, and all those transporting guests, were safe and well-behaved.

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Katie April 12, 2011 at 11:40 am

I’ve been involved with horses since I was 8, and I hate it when people want to do stuff like this because it “looks pretty” and then get pissed off when the horse does something unexpected BECAUSE IT’S AN ANIMAL. Certainly your odds of having everything go according to plan are better if the horse is well-trained, well-handled, and acclimated to the types of situations it will be presented with, but horses are animals with a highly developed flight response and if something scares them, it doesn’t matter that it’s your wedding day, they are going to react. I can definitely understand why someone would want to incorporate a carriage or horse into their wedding day, but realize that there’s always the potential for your plan to backfire and don’t take your anger out on the poor animal. If/when I do get married, I would think long and hard about the possible consequences of using animals in my wedding.
And it must be reiterated – when a horse is scared or misbehaving, just about the worst thing you can do is scream and/or chase after it.

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Jobiska April 12, 2011 at 11:52 am

To answer the question of why the people clapped the second time: I am not that familiar with horses. I do hear and read of horses being spooked (here, for example) so I would hope I would connect the clapping with the horse’s reaction. But there in the moment I myself might not, because if you’re unfamiliar with horses you may have no basis for understanding why the horse suddenly acted like that–you might think it was totally random. In fact, you might fear its randomness a little bit and be so relieved that the scary bit of the horse’s unpredictability was over with, so you would join in the clapping out of relief, little realizing that you were actually repeating the behavior that spooked the horse.

Sure, it would be nice if everyone in a crowd realized in that short a timespan that the clapping was what set the horse off, but I don’t think it’s realistic to expect that.

Therefore, I don’t think it’s fair to say “duh” or imply the guests in the first video are stupid. Ignorant of horses, yes. Not quick on the uptake or good at observing cause and effect in the moment and making the necessary connections, maybe. “Duh”-worthy, no, unless anyone who knows nothing about horses is automatically duh-worthy (which I don’t think is true).

If we’re going to say “duh” about anyone, we maybe should extend it to the family who DOES know that horse, who could have put in the program or made an announcement ahead of time to hold the applause.

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Mechtilde April 12, 2011 at 11:55 am

I quite agree with admin- ponies can be every bit as dangerous as horses. The only difference between a pony and a horse is the height at the shoulder.

Whilst there will be differences in general temprament between different breeds of horses and ponies, even the most even tempered breed will contain flightier individuals, and even the most stoical horse can panic when faced with unfamiliar or sudden events. I’ve known a very well trained pony, which was great at dressage, spook when someone took a coat off near them.

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elicat April 12, 2011 at 12:21 pm

I apologize, Admin. Ironically, my experiences have been the opposite of yours–I’ve been thrown off horses and such but have had (mostly) wonderful experiences with ponies.

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Brenda April 12, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I’ve owned horses and ponies. A very important thing to remember is that horses are prey animals, not predators. People are used to dealing with predators, such as dogs and cats. Prey animals are a completely different story. Prey animals survive by paying attention, extreme attention, to sudden movements and sounds, and then, usually, bolting to escape. Horses have been trained out of this behavior, even being used in battles, but it is a genetic survival mechanism that they will always have.

And I agree with Miss Ehell, ponies can be xxxxx. It seems that the smaller the breed of pony, the more difficult they are. I could work with a full-sized horse much more easily than a pony. Shetlands, especially, are tough, stubborn and attitudinal.

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--Lia April 12, 2011 at 12:40 pm

I wonder if somewhere deep down people like the MoB do it on purpose, if maybe they know that if they plan a wedding that’s truly a class act with elegant good grace that no one will remember it. But if they plan (perhaps subconsciously) an event that has them riding a horse down the street in their underwear, people will be talking about it for years to come.

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Asuyuka April 12, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I can’t see the videos. ^^;

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Another Laura April 12, 2011 at 2:10 pm

I guess I didn’t think the OP was criticizing the MoB so much for having knobby knees, etc as for choosing her daughter’s wedding day to display them to the general public

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Allie April 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm

I’m tired of listening to people carp about their “special” day. It’s not bloody special. Millions of people since people were people have gotten married. People get married every day. Just get on with your life. These kinds of spectacles are undignified. I’m so glad I got married by a justice of the peace in his basement home office in my sock feet. I’d do it again in a second.

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Shayna April 12, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Is it really necessary to kick the stallion in the groin? All I can think of while he was doing that was doing it to the man.

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LovleAnjel April 12, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Why have as an integral part of your wedding an animal that is big enough to kill you by stepping on you accidentally, and is afraid of its own gas?

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Wink-n-Smile April 12, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Too many people think that all there is to riding a horse is sitting on it, and it will just magically do what you want it to do and go where you want it to go.

Brides who have always dreamed of riding a horse to their wedding need to take some classes (and by some, I mean a lot) before they even set the date! Even the most casual bride doesn’t want the humiliation of a horse-riding event gone awry. Worse than humiliation, the danger of being thrown by a horse who is a) spooked and/or b) knows he has an incompetent rider and wants to show off.

And even if you have an expert rider in the saddle, there’s always the possibility of the horse choosing the most inopportune, inelegant time to relieve himself.

Don’t use animals or small children at a formal event, if you want it to stay formal, let alone serious.

OK, I’ll read the comments now.

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Sharon April 12, 2011 at 3:58 pm

In every circumstance, whether the OP’s post or the videos, the horses were just being horses. The humans, however, were being donkeys.

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Wink-n-Smile April 12, 2011 at 4:02 pm

As to the OP – I wish he had pointed out, when the bride and MoG tried to mount their horses in their inappropriate clothes that it would not be the end of the world to cancel the horse ride and quickly get one of the old-timey cars to come back for them. He’d be doing them a favor, like telling them that they are trailing toilet paper from their shoe, or that their skirt is tucked into their pantyhose.

If he had a digital camera, he could have taken a picture as soon as they were mounted, and then quickly shown them, before they started actually riding, to see if they wanted to continue down the street, or cut their losses. If they chose to continue, knowing how they looked, well then it’s on them.

If all else failed, he could have suggested that they sit sideways on the saddles, holding the pommel with their hands, and having someone LEAD the horses down the street. That way, they could keep their legs closed, they’d look as stately as they’re able to look, and the horses would be more likely to behave than if they’d been ridden by these inexperienced fools.

Again, it wouldn’t take long to send one of those old-timey cars back with a groomsman or two.

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Tanz April 12, 2011 at 5:07 pm

@ Another Laura: that doesn’t make it right, though. Would it be OK to have shown her thighs and knees if they were taut, tanned and terrific? If not, if the exposure was bad regardless, then there was no need for the extra insults. The way it was written makes the writer sound much less classy than the MOB.

I think this is just another example of why we need to be aware that animals – no matter how well trained or domesticated – will always be animals. We need to respect that, because we cannot change it.

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