I just received a wedding invitation in the mail that directed guests to check the couple’s wedding website for updates and details. Hmm, OK. Some wedding websites include cute stories about the couple or photos, so it’s worth a look.
I go to the website, and it contains a “Registry” section. Not my fave, but fine, let me see what the bride and groom are asking for…perhaps they’re asking for an item I planned to buy them anyway. “We are registered at DenseJungle.com, BedroomandBathroomCrap.com and BoxandBucket.com; click here to view the registries.”
When I clicked on the registries I was taken to the typical registry pages generated by these respective retailers. I think we all know what these website registries look like. For each item the bride and groom request, there’s a small thumbnail image of the item, the cost, the “Quantity Needed” (for example if they want bath towels, they might ask for 8), and then a tally of how many they’ve received so far, to avoid duplicates.
But to my surprise, the only item listed for purchase at all three retailers was a gift card! So, rather than walking through the big box stores and scanning in sheets, towels, dishes, etc, the couple has opted for the ultimate combination of greediness AND laziness by providing a single entry at all three sites: “$50 Gift Card; Quantity Needed: 20.”
All three sites have a big fat ZERO listed under “Quantity Received,” so apparently I’m not the only person who’s appalled. 0608-10
Well, at least they are not fooling people by registering for gifts they do not want so they can be returned for cash, i.e. registry money laundering.
{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
← Previous Comments
I really don’t see why there’s all the controversy behind registries. I mean, first someone says that registries are only for china, silverware, and crystal *only.* Then another person gets upset because the china, silverware, and crystal they happen to like is out of their price range, and OMG how selfish could a person be not to include every price range?! So then the person registers for all sorts of things to accomodate every pocketbook, and another person complains, “How could they register for so much stuff!? How greedy and rude for them to dictate what people should buy!” And then God forbid if you put a labelled link on your website to any registries without them having to beg the bride’s mother for the secret code to find the link (nevermind if you’re the groom’s relative and barely know the bride’s name, let alone her mother’s–no one ever seems to mention that scenario; the groom gets to invite his family and friends, too).
Plus, everyone agrees that you’re not required to get something off the registry. So why do people who believe that also get so worked up when they don’t find what they want to buy on the registry? Just buy something you want to buy that’s off the registry. No big deal. No one’s forcing you to look at it. Yes, we’ve read about some couples who use registries as a “Get me only this, this, and this” list and throw a hissy fit when they don’t get exactly what they want, but it’s not the registry that causes that. They’d be just as selfish without a registry.
As far as the OP goes, maybe that couple, like others, was pressured into registering and just couldn’t think of anything specific to register for and just decided that gift cards were generic enough (or any of the other scenarios listed above). Perhaps the OP should have called the bride’s mother and asked if they wanted anything other than gift cards before jumping to conclusions. I’m sure if the website had said, “These are just ideas of stores we like,” the OP would have posted about how rude it was for them to think that they were even getting a gift!
The one thing that I love most about registries — well constructed ones — is the one item that no one has mentioned: Even if you know a bride/groom’s taste in clothing, you don’t know their taste in household items/gifts. I am not a shopper, so I love registries. The best wedding gift excursion I ever had was for a sensible, well constructed registry — tradition items, wide range of prices, most of them being on the lower end — took less than 30mins. tops: I mean from entering the store, getting the printed registry, having it wrapped and shipped to the couple and my leaving the store. Yes, the candle sticks and glasses were expected, but what wasn’t was the entire Southwest theme that this East Coast couple had planned for their new home in Washington, DC! The candlesticks were an affordable $15, the glasses were $20 — all very casual style — and the brides thank-you note practically praised me for buying something off of her registry; items that I personally found ugly. She made me, the guest, feel great before I even attended the ceremony, enabled me to take any wedding day flubs in stride. So here’s my bit; (1) register for items that you’ll use and are in your taste, not someone else’s, (2) include a wide range of prices, (3) if you’re out of town/the country, only select stores that will ship to any destination directly — I couldn’t attend my cousin’s wedding in Vegas, but her registry gift was purchased online and shipped to her new home in St. Thomas, USVI, and most importantly (4) don’t demand that your guests fork over cash in $50 increments, all while telling them that you expect to collect no less than $3,000 (remember, it’s 3 stores at a grand each) — as a “guest”.
← Previous Comments