The Etiquette of Job Referrals

by admin on October 20, 2010

Have at it, readers….

I have a question about co-worker etiquette when it comes to referrals. Perhaps readers will help me out on this.

I met my friend “Paula” from college and we were in the same program. We would help each other out and occasionally go out together too. One night, Paula asked me if I was interested in a short term job her friend “Mary” was offering. Paula couldn’t take the job herself because she already had a busy workload and I didn’t have a heavy workload. It sounded very interesting and when I met with Mary, I was hired on the spot. It was great and I was really thankful for Paula for introducing me to a future career, so I took Paula out for lunch.

Of course it kept me busy and when I ran into Paula, she asked me about how it went. I told her it was great and glad that Mary offered a full-time job after I graduated. Things went a little sour after that. From then on, whenever I saw Paula, she would become very curt or hinted about how she could have had that job if only she wasn’t so busy; also, she needed a job more (hint: my job) since she has to pay rent while I still live with my parents (college was commutable from home). The worse was about how if it weren’t for her, then I’d have no future at all. I was taken aback by these statements, and quite frankly, found them a bit rude. I didn’t realize she wanted a job so badly since she passed it on to me. And since I thought we were good friends, aren’t we supposed to be supportive of each other??

After I got my first paycheck, I treated Paula for lunch again, to show I was really appreciative of her referral and hopefully smooth things out. She was less curt and back to friendly Paula again, so that seemed like a good sign. But then when I see her again afterwards, she was back to giving me the cold-shoulder!

Now, Mary has told me about a job opening at her firm and would be working with me. Here’s the question: do I refer her to Paula to return the favor as proper etiquette? Or do I cross her name off the list because of the way she treated me? Or possibly, am I rude for not being super appreciative?

As  a professional courtesy I would refer Paula for the job with the caveat that you believe she would be well suited for it.

{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

Kimberly October 20, 2010 at 5:29 am

I think the question is, “Can Paula do the job?”. If you think she is capable of doing the job, than
I might refer her for the position.

But, honestly, I would be leary. Number one, Paula has already shown you her true colors.
She is apparently jealous of where you are at now in your life compared to hers. I don’t think
it is so much the job she refererred you for, but the as I described above.

You will be working with this person on a daily basis. If she is behaving how she is now, how
will she behave daily working with you? And will act superior over you?

But, I also have to wonder, is she originally referred you to Mary, “her friend”, why isn’t Mary
contacting her now? Are they no longer friends?

But, in the end, all you can do is refer Paula for the job. It will be up to Paula to get the job.

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essie October 20, 2010 at 5:42 am

Since the writer is asking the question on a website devoted to etiquette, she really answered her own question: “[D]o I refer her to Paula to return the favor as proper etiquette? Or do I cross her name off the list because of the way she treated me? Or possibly, am I rude for not being super appreciative?”

Proper etiquette is doing the right thing as opposed (frequently) to doing what you WANT to do.

And no, you’re not being rude. You took Paula out to lunch – twice! – to thank her. That’s sufficient. It does sound as though Paula has taken a big bite of sour grapes, though. In the real world, people often “miss out” on things because of other commitments or just plain bad timing. Paula “missed out” on this job opportunity because she thought the other things she was busy with were more important. That was HER decision; she needs to own it.

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Giles October 20, 2010 at 6:20 am

I agree with the first poster; if you think Paula is well-suited to the job, leave her name on despite your personal feelings, which should be left out of the workplace. If you feel like these things would have a negative impact on her work, depending on the kind of job that’s being discussed, cross her off for those reasons.

I’ve written a lot of referrals for colleagues and co-workers who I can’t stand but are good at what they do. Then again, that’s usually so they go somewhere else, not start to work with me…

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Bint October 20, 2010 at 6:41 am

I disagree about the etiquette here. The OP is under no obligation to refer Paula for anything just because Paula referred her. She has already effectively repaid Paula etiquette wise by treating her for lunch twice, and her obligations end there.

In addition, Paula has shown herself since to be grudging, bitter and rude. From an etiquette standpoint, the OP would therefore be recommending someone to Mary whom she knows could well be difficult to work with, and who already has a clear problem with her. Paula’s behaviour has been unprofessional already.

I would tell Paula about the opening and leave it there; if Mary asks about Paula, be honest about whether or not she could do the job. I would not actively go to Mary and recomend Paula. The OP doesn’t owe Paula that, would still be acting with professional courtesy, but would not be active in bringing in a potentially disruptive employee – which would be very poor professional etiquette.

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counselorm October 20, 2010 at 6:48 am

I agree with Kimberly — job referrals are all about whether the person is a good fit for the position and has nothing to do with relationship (whether positive or negative) or repaying a person’s kindness. Your employer will judge you by the people you refer (and Paula will mention that you referred her) so you want to make sure that the reflection is a positive one. This is equally true for references — do not act as a reference unless you feel confident you can fully “vouch” for the person. In this case, despite how she reacted to you, will she act professionally in the workplace and do her job well?

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SHOEGAL October 20, 2010 at 7:46 am

I would stop feeling “obligated” to Paula for the referral. It was just a referral and could have come to nothing. I think lunch was completely sufficient as a thank you. She made the decision to pass on the position because of her workload. I believe that she thought it was a “short term” job and wouldn’t amount to anything and was horrified later to discover that she passed on something that led to a full time job.

It would be a nice gesture to refer Paula for the position if you think you can work with her and if you believe she can do a good job.

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Typo Tat October 20, 2010 at 8:00 am

Do not refer Paula for this job! Do you really want to work with her on daily basis? Remember that this is a person who enjoys dishing out abuse.

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Skoffin October 20, 2010 at 8:00 am

Mary offered a job to Paula, Paula couldn’t take it and so passed it to someone who might.
Mary offers a new job to OP, OP can take it but feels that she owes it to Paula.

Here’s the thing, Mary offered it to OP thus OP gets first dibs on the job. Paula had a first dib and didn’t take it for whatever reason, she kindly passed it to the OP but that doesn’t mean that the OP should be expected to pass up on her future aspects out of some sense of ‘owing’ someone else. I see it as Paula doing a favour, you can’t then expect some sort of payment on a favour, especially of this kind. While it would be nice to return a favour, it’s not always possible or practical.

Another thing about referring someone else to a job, whatever happens with that person reflects on you. Paula has already shown herself as being iffy, if she starts acting this way at this work place then Mary may be wary about offering any to you later on. Just by passing someone else over too the job now may even set Mary to thinking that you’re not interested and she won’t offer any more in the future.
It seems whatever you do is a risk. You may loose Paula, but she has already shown herself as not much of a friend. She may even go colder once she has the new job and think ‘ha, I’m above you now just as it was supposed to be!’. Meanwhile you could lose a great job opportunity and close doors for further down the road.

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Gena October 20, 2010 at 8:03 am

No, do not refer her. You can tell Paula about the job and she can send a resume, but do not give a recommendation. If you do, and she doesn’t perform well, you are “responsible” for that.

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Just Laura October 20, 2010 at 8:21 am

If Mary is her friend, is there a reason that Mary hasn’t already mentioned the job to Paula? She mentioned it to her the first time there was a job. It just makes me curious if this job isn’t right for Paula (for whatever reason) and Mary knows it. That being said, you should probably let Paula know about it. If she isn’t hired, it won’t be your fault.

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JS October 20, 2010 at 8:25 am

OP, remember, you have an obligation to your employer as well not to waste her time with candidates who are not suited for the job (regardless of your personal relationship with the candidate). Therefore, I think the question is not “Do I owe it to Paula?” but rather “Would Paula be a good candidate for this job?” If the answer is yes, then you should refer her to Paula. And when you’re considering whether Paula would be a good candidate, I think it’s fair to consider her recent treatment of you to the extent you think her behavior would impact her ability to perform (in other words, is she likely to treat clients that way? Coworkers? Or is it just limited to her personal life?).

But in my opinion, etiquette does not demand a job referral for a job referral. I think that you more than met your etiquette obligations by taking her out to lunch (twice). You are not responsible for Paula’s decision to pass on the initial job offer, and you certainly should not feel guilty for doing your job so well that you were hired into a full-time position. You earned that; Paula didn’t give it to you.

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Goldie October 20, 2010 at 8:29 am

I believe the professional thing to do would be defer to Mary, or at least, check with Mary before telling Paula about the job. Mary was Paula’s friend first; she told Paula about the first job opening; why not about this one? In OP’s place, I wouldn’t want to accidentally unleash someone on my boss that she may have no intention of hiring.

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Jay October 20, 2010 at 8:32 am

I don’t see this as an etiquette issue.. you’re setting yourself up to be working with someone who you already know to be professionally jealous of you. I suspect you’ll have stories in the “bad co-workers” section before long. You have the opportunity to refer someone as a candidate for this position, but not the obligation. That doesn’t mean this course of action will preserve friendship with Paula, of course, but I’m not sure you should care much about that at this point.

Besides, doesn’t Mary already know Paula? You only met Mary through Paula in the first place. Why would she need you to mention her?

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badkitty October 20, 2010 at 8:56 am

No. Not because you are punishing her for being cold to you, but because she is not demonstrating the behavior of a responsible professional. If you refer her, and she displays this attitude at work, it WILL reflect on you. And her interactions with you ceased to be purely social (where she could expect that her actions would not reflect on her professionally) the moment you began to work in a field in which she had interest. As a rule, I don’t refer friends to my workplace unless I’m dead-certain that they are the perfect person for the job and will be a feather in my cap come review time; the potential for disaster is just too great. She referred a friend to go work for another friend, which was nice of her but completely different. Don’t do it.

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Katie October 20, 2010 at 8:58 am

First of all, OP, I just want to say that a referral/introduction doesn’t make a job and it certainly doesn’t make a career – it gives you an opportunity. It’s up to you whether or not you work hard and make the most of it – and from the sounds of it you have! But if you didn’t hadn’t this break, chances are another one would have come up eventually. Bottom line, you don’t owe Paula your career – she did a nice thing by introducing you to Mary, but that’s where it ends. Good etiquette on her part would been to congratulate you on the great results and be happy for you. Instead she chose to be openly jealous and resentful.

But on to your actual query: Etiquette-wise, if she’s qualified then referring her would be the proper thing to do. As this is an etiquette site, I guess that’s your answer! However, in my opinion there’s another element to this. As Kimberley has already stated, you’d have to work with Paula on a day-to-day basis. In your opinion, can she be professional enough to put any gripes she may have with you aside during working hours? Will she want to work with you as part of a team (or as your subordinate if you have a higher position) or will she constantly try to undermine you? Asking these questions of yourself are not petty, they are realistic. I’ve referred friends for jobs a few times. The first time it turned out great because the job was in a different department so there was no friction from seeing too much of each other, plus we actually met at a previous workplace and therefore had already had a working relationship. The second time was a nightmare. The friend I referred would undermine me, bring up my personal life with my colleagues, and expect me to cover for her when she screwed up. Some friendships don’t translate well to a working relationship and in my situation it caused way too much stress and some fairly permanent damage to the friendship.

I should also add that when you refer someone you’re also putting your professional reputation on the line. If you’ve recommended Paula and she doesn’t do a good job or causes trouble, it doesn’t look good for you either.

I’m sorry to say that your position is pretty awkward whatever you decide. (Although if Mary already knows Paula, isn’t there a chance she’ll just refer her on her own?) Sorry I couldn’t offer a straight answer! Keep us updated :-)

Katie

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Catherine October 20, 2010 at 9:26 am

You should only refer Paula if you feel that she is a good fit for the job, and will do it well. She has recently behaved in a petty, selfish, judgmental, and unprofessional way — so don’t you think it’s possible that she will behave that way if she gets the job? You certainly don’t owe her a referral — it was her choice to tell you about the job in the first place, and you thanked her sincerely despite her pettiness. If I were you, I would worry that if I referred Paula, she would get the job and then behave badly, and that behavior would then reflect on me.

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Louise October 20, 2010 at 9:48 am

OP, Paula didn’t get you your job. She referred you and you earned the job on your own merits. You keep your job on your own merits. Paula presented you with an opportunity, not a future. You have shown your thanks. I’m sure Paula had been pleasant and courteous and supportive instead of jealous and mean, you would have shown your thanks even further by referring her. As it is, I wouldn’t bother. Paula doesn’t play well with others. I doubt her attitude that she gave you your future will expire in the workplace. Don’t refer to your boss someone who you doubt will work with you. Your boss deserves a functioning group of employees.

The etiquette of socialization doesn’t transfer into business. If someone invites you over for dinner, you should respond in kind. But if someone refers you to a job, you’re not obligated to do the same for them. You’ve paid your debt to Paula; please don’t think you still owe her just because she thinks you do. You won’t be able to repay someone who believes you owe her the rest of your life. How far will Paula take it? “You only got that car because I referred you to that job!” “You wouldn’t have such a nice house if I hadn’t referred you to that job!”

I told my boyfriend about a job opening at the company he now works for, but I certainly don’t believe I got my boyfriend his job or that he owes me something for it. He got the job by himself and he keeps it because he’s a hard worker.

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kingshearte October 20, 2010 at 10:08 am

I agree that you have already repaid whatever obligations you owe this woman. Nonetheless, if the position is one she’s qualified for, I would probably mention it to her. But if she already knows Mary, then Mary shouldn’t need a recommendation for her from you, and I wouldn’t provide one.

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AS October 20, 2010 at 10:53 am

I am a little confused – “Now, Mary has told me about a job opening at her firm and would be working with me.” – Who would be working with you? Mary? Or the person who is going to fill up the open position? Did Mary recommend the job to OP and OP felt obligated to refer Paula to the job?

If Mary offered the job to you, OP, I think you should take it. Too bad Paula was very busy to take the job offer earlier, but that is not your fault. I too wonder if and why Mary did not offer the job to Paula, as she was Mary’s friend.

If it is an opening with the person filling up the position working with you, I agree with the admin. It might be courteous to recommend Paula to the job if she is suited for the job. You might want to think of the situation in a disinterested way though – whether she is actually suited for the job or if you are doing something just out of personal obligation. But on the other hand, Paula has shown that she is jealous of you, and working together might affect the productivity of the company. If you have to work closely, then you might want to bring up the situation with your Mary.

It is a hard decision. Good luck with it.

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RP October 20, 2010 at 11:04 am

Like previous commentors, I’m curious as to why Mary hasn’t already told Paula since they knew each other first. I think asking Mary about it first may be prudent; there may be a reason why Mary hasn’t contacted Paula or the OP may find that Mary has already spoken to Paula about it.

In general, when networking you should help the people who help you unless you have a reason not to. For example, if Paula had started doing heroin since helping the OP find that job she certainly shouldn’t be referring her for this new opening. This isn’t nearly that extreme and the problem in question isn’t directly related to job performance so it’s iffy (at least to me).

On the one hand, Paula doesn’t have to like the OP to be able to work with her and if Paula is really good at this job the OP may be doing Mary a disservice as well by not telling her about it. On the other hand, Paula is actively trying to burn bridges here and, as Jay put it, professionally jealous of the OP. Is the OP obligated to resign herself to a miserable work experience where Paula is throwing a fit every time Mary gets a good assignment or promotion or any kind of recognition?

I don’t blame the OP for needing advice here.

As for Paula, someone really needs to give her a book on networking. She needs a job and not only knows someone working at the company she wants to work at but they’re a friend whom she helped to get that job. But instead of realizing she has the biggest and best ‘in’ possible she insults her friend to the point of not being sure she wants to refer her! That is completely ridiculous! How did she not realize that by helping her friend get a job she couldn’t take that she increased her chances of hearing about and getting a job at that company later? That’s the point of networking Paula! You help out your boss/company by being able to refer qualified people to them and you help your friends by letting them know about positions they’re well suited for.

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Elizabeth Bunting October 20, 2010 at 11:19 am

Recommending someone for a job is a business decision. The two appreciation lunches were the etiquette decisions.

When you recommend someone for a job, it must be because you believe they would be a good fit in the organization and have the correct qualifications. Someone who is this rude to the OP because of a bad case of “sour grapes” would behave this way within the organization. I don’t think the OP has a duty to recommend someone whom she believes would be disruptive in the workplace. That is a matter of personal integrity not just a “what fork to use” issue.

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evely28 October 20, 2010 at 11:20 am

OP you already showed you’re appreciation. I would not recommend Paula. This is your work place. Have you thought that this short term job was turned into permanent because of your work ethic and character?
For all you know if Paula had taken the job it would have been short term only. It’s not just about competence, it’s also about “how well you play with others”. Paula not only got a reward of a couple lunches, but gratification that the friend she recommended worked out well. Too bad she doesn’t recognize this and chooses instead to focus on the job that if you hadn’t gotten someone else would have. It still wouldn’t be waiting for her. So now that there’s an opening you have to base a decision on Paula’s actions and based on her actions, heck NO!

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Lady_Lazarus October 20, 2010 at 11:35 am

I strongly believe that in this instance you should refer Paula for the job, even if only to mention her as a possible candidate in the running. She did initially give you the opportunity to start in the job position that you are currently at. In business, this kind of situation is common. People in their field help each other to in turn help themselves in the future. I would definitely at least pass her name along since she did the same for you, and now you have a permanent full time job.

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Sharon October 20, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I have to agree with those who do not think a recommendation is in order.
She passed on a job, told you about it and you have done well. You took her to lunch twice and it sounds like you told her how appreciative you are.
BUT.. when she reacted in such a petty way to your success, she negated everything she did for you. What kind of person wishes you success, but not too much of it? This is not about revenge and “getting back”. This is about whenther she would be good in the job.
You would have to be looking over your shoulder every day all day… and so would Mary. There are enough back stabbers and prima donnas in the workplace. Do NOT invite another one in. Believe me, the department where that job is do NOT need her.
I am so thankful for my co-workers and bosses. None of that drama crap. Everyone is sincerely nice. And, when someone outside our deptartment does try to stir the pot, they are gently turned to another subject.

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Maitri October 20, 2010 at 4:05 pm

I’m interested to note that no one here has questioned Paula’s behavior. Maybe she has had other things going on in her life and her “cold”ness wasn’t directed at the OP at all. Maybe a relative died or she has huge medical bills or something, which is causing financial stress. Of course she said some snarky things, but she could have miscommunicated and meant them to be funny.

Personally, I think the OP shouldn’t feel obligated to refer Paula to the job, because who wants to refer someone that they dislike but will have to work with? I work in HR and I moved from one job to the next. At my old job, a girl said I was difficult to get along with, and at my new job I’ve really tried to make friends and be pleasant. Now that girl is looking for work and wants a referral. I’m not going to do it because she’d be bringing in preconceived notions (however untrue) about me, and I don’t really want to work with someone who goes around complaining about their coworkers in the first place.

If the OP really feels badly about it, she can openly communicate to Paula: “Hey Paula, I noticed that you seem unhappy or angry with me. Have I done something wrong? Are you angry that I’ve turned your earlier job referral into an active career?” Her responses should direct the conversation further.

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OP October 20, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Thank you for advice, readers. To clear some confusion, when Paula turned down the first offer, Mary had in mind that Paula was still busy and forgot about her (they weren’t close friends….so I guess acquaintances would be the better term). Later on, Paula had more time available and Mary had a new position available at work. That position would be a partner project with me.

I did not want to commit a faux pas of not returning favors (thus my questition of etiquette). From other friends, I’ve always heard of somebody hiring somebody because of connections. I was a bit iffy of referring to Paula since her comments of “how much I owe her” was grating on my nerves. Nearly every outing she had half-expected me to pay her portion. And I have already heard from mutual friends of what Paula has been saying about me.

In the end, I told Paula there was an opening and casually reminded Mary about Paula. Whether I think Paula can do the job or not….um…… I will let Mary decide among the applicants.

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Rebecca October 21, 2010 at 12:45 am

Nope, I wouldn’t refer her. If she makes those comments outside of work, just think how unpleasant she could be working alongside you.

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Kat October 21, 2010 at 12:57 am

Paula is acting like a three-year-old. And furthermore, it seems she’s only inclined to be nice to you when you want to do something for her, like take her to lunch. Who needs a fair-weather friend?

The fact that you live(d) with your parents is none of her business. That doesn’t mean she needs a job more… in fact, maybe YOU needed the job more because you were trying to help support your parents! (Maybe not but how does she know you weren’t caring for your parents? Lots of people care for their parents as they get older.)

Even if you did refer her for the job, I don’t think her sour grapes would go away.

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jenna October 21, 2010 at 1:51 am

I’d recommend her if I knew I wouldn’t be interacting with her much, and if I were “dead certain” (as another commenter put it) that she’d be excellent at the job. Otherwise, referrals are truly professional only – you don’t refer people because you “have” to. You refer them because you “want” to insofar as their work will reflect on you and you know they’d be a good addition to the workplace.

I also agree that the OP should talk to Mary first – I also wonder why Paula didn’t hear about this new job if she was the original contact point for the original job? Was there a falling out?

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AS October 21, 2010 at 11:01 am

OP, thanks for your update. I think you dealt the situation well.

It is just funny how some people think that you owe them something because they helped you in some way. It was nice of her to let you know about the job, and you returned the nice deed by taking her out for lunch – twice! But I don’t think you don’t owe her anything else.

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Stephenie October 21, 2010 at 11:42 am

I’m cringing at the idea of working with her in the future…. Remember, you started there first so you would have seniority. I’m certain (based on your description of her behaviors) that once she gets hired she’ll start complaining if you are making more than her, or if you get a day off that she wants, or if she has a job duty that she wants to push onto you. On top of that, she’ll make sure that your coworkers know that you “only got the job because of her”. It sounds like a hostile work environment just waiting to happen.

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Xtina October 21, 2010 at 3:18 pm

I guess this is a moot point since actions were already taken (post 26 by the OP), but I think the OP probably did the right thing–tell Paula about the job and then let Mary decide. You are usually “on the hook” when you refer someone for a job, and if Paula turned out to be a problem employee after the OP recommended her, it could reflect badly on the OP.

However, if Paula had already been catty to me personally over the matter of the job (which I think she needs to get over–she had the opportunity and let it pass her by), I would have some serious thoughts about working with her so closely in the future. How would the OP’s work life be if Paula had been hired to work FOR the OP? That could be awkward, too.

At any rate, if Paula really would be a good fit for the job (and the office dynamics), I could look past my own personal issues with her and refer her as a possible candidate, with the caveat to Mary that the OP could only vouch for her job skills.

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Maryann October 23, 2010 at 9:45 am

Well, most of what needs to be said has been.

But, just for the record, “a bit rude” is a serious understatement. She was really quite nasty to you – ridiculously so given that she’s laying in a bed of her own making. She’s blaming you for her own actions, and crediting herself for your success, which she envies, as if it’s her doing. She’s the kind of person who usually feels cheated should anything good come to someone else and blames others for problems she created, and who feels she deserves more credit than she is given. She will always feel hard-done-by and put upon. As far as Paula is concerned, the world is unfair to her, but she gives everyone else more than they deserve.

In short, as others have said, she’s bitter. There is no more toxic personality type. Bear that in mind if you have to work with her.

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Michelle P October 23, 2010 at 10:08 pm

@Maitri, sorry but there’s no excuse for Paula’s rudeness. Everyone has major stress at some point or another and not everyone behaves that way. There is no way she meant “if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have a future at all” to be funny. How can anyone “miscommunicate” the comment about not having to pay rent or someone needing a job more? The OP more than compensated for Paula’s favor and she owes Paula nothing more.

If she was great for the job and wouldn’t be working with the OP, I would agree to return the favor and at least mention the job to her. If not, I have to respectfully disagree with admin; I would not refer her because she has shown herself to be petty and unprofessional. People are NOT different in the workplace; at least not that different.

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DocCAC October 26, 2010 at 11:20 pm

I wouldn’t refer Paula for fear that if I did better than she on the job she would try to sabotage me or take the credit for herself. She has already shown you her true colors…why ask for trouble? If Mary is her friend, Paula may already know about the job.

As for if she can’t do the job and you have referred her, it will look bad on you. I had a receptionist my nurse had rcommended and told me “knew how to use the computer” (being on the Internet or Web was not required for the job) and made it seem like the nurse knew this from personal knnowledge. Because I was in a crunch, and med school/residency teaches you precious little about the business of medicine, and some other factors, I took the nurse at her word. MY BAD in more ways than one. Her computer knowledge meant she could send emails, and she was not quick enough to pick up much more than that in the two full days training she got, plus taking home the manuals home each night to study the program we were using. It made me really wonder about the nurse and her knowledge of people she recommended for various positions (I only hired one other she recommended, with some misgivings because of some behavior I was aware of. I was assured the neice was more mature and no longer acted in ways I had seen before –she had been a patient of mine. Once again, the nurse was wrong but it took a few months for it to come out, not a couple of weeks). Your judgement might come into call if you refer Paula and she can’t do the work.

I would worry more if Mary asks you if you think you can work with Paula because she is thinking of hiring her.

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Eugenia Van Bremen December 4, 2010 at 1:25 pm

I would not refer Paula for the job.

In my experience, a person’s private behavior can be a good indicator of their “public” (work) behavior. Based on her private behavior, I wouldn’t to recommend her to someone – when someone makes her unhappy at her new job (and it will happen, whether from misunderstanding, office politics, incompatible personalities, rude clients, etc), can she be trusted to behave professionally?

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