When I got married about 15 years ago, my mom asked me for a mailing address for her to send a gift. I thought it odd since I was only 15 miles away but so be it.
My wife and I get married without a hitch and moved to our new home. On our first Sunday back after our honeymoon we went to my parent’s church (the one I grew up in) to join them at the service and then go to lunch. I noticed people at the church who had known me for all of my 27 years were acting cold and distant and, in some cases, quite rudely toward me and my wife.
I found out later that mommy dearest had put an announcement in the church bulletin the week of our wedding that said the new bride and groom “expected” gifts from (insert VERY high end store name) to be sent to 123 Blah Blah St. with insurance. Yes, “expected” as in you WILL send me a gift or else.
I also found out later that a woman in the church had made a beautiful quilt with my and my bride’s name on it to give to us but, after reading that announcement in the church bulletin she decided not to give it to me.
So, thanks to mom’s helpfulness, I am now a greedy, self-centered a-hole in the eyes of the church and the community I grew up in. So, I can either explain that mom put that in there and make myself look like a mom-hating shmuck or I can continue to be disliked by the friends and families I grew up with. Besides, after 15 years, although people still remember it and think I am a turd, it is too late to do anything about it.
Oh, and keep in mind that not all things “just blow over” as my wife said this would. 0322-09
Too late to do anything but in my church, a little chat with the pastor would have rectified the situation. Besides, people who love you will exercise the principle that love covers a multitude of sins and just forget about it.
You’ve also had 15 years of married life to demonstrate kindness, generosity and gratitude to friends and family thus dispelling any negative impressions.