My youngest sister, Jenny, who is married and has 2 boys is constantly calling my for advice and when I tell her what I think she gets upset and doesn’t call for a couple of weeks. I think she gets upset because I don’t tell her what she wants to hear. Here are some examples:
A few years ago, my other sister and I found out that Jenny had sent out invitations for her son’s 2nd birthday party to EVERYBODY!!! Local, out of state, cross country, you name it. This included a family friend that we only keep in touch with at Christmas time when I send a holiday card. Jenny lives in Idaho and this family friend lives in California. We were floored that Jenny could be so rude. When we told her that that was in bad taste she, of course, disagreed. She claims she only did it as a way to give people an update on her kid. We were quite embarrassed that she had done this. I don’t know if she has stopped doing this, but I pray she has.
This other example actually just happened earlier this week. She asked me if it would be ok if she asked a fellow mom to replace a book that her son had written in with pen. I said: “Uh no. It would be quite rude.” She, once again, disagreed and continued to feed me all the facts in the hopes that I would tell her what she wanted to hear. It was a $20 book (she’s on a tight budget and told me she did not pay the full amount), it’s been discontinued, it was a gift for her son, the parents were right there and did nothing. I continued to tell her that regardless of the circumstances, it would be rude. She said we would have to agree to disagree.
This last example happened this past summer. My 3 sisters, including Jenny, and I were in Utah vacationing. Jenny and her family stayed with my sister, Carmela. It seemed that any time were about to all get together to do something Jenny would come up with an excuse for why they couldn’t come. The excuse was usually that one of her boys was sick. So we would suggest that maybe she or her husband could come with the healthy kid so they could join in the fun. Well, of course they couldn’t. If she wasn’t able to come, none of them could. The last straw for me was when she woke up in the middle of the night with a headache. Instead of just quietly looking for some pain killer she wakes up my sister to have her get it. There was none. So she asks if Carmela can drive her husband to the drug store for some. Why didn’t her husband just go himself? No reason whatsoever. I would think she would remember that she is a guest in Carmela’s house and despite the fact that it’s her sister, she would have shown some common courtesy.
It gets really tiring telling her what the right thing to do is, only to have her get upset. I cannot believe we are related. None of my other sisters are like that. I can honestly say that out of all the people I know really well, she is the most self-centered, selfish person I know. I almost want to cut off all contact with her because I don’t like to associate with people like that. But since she is my sister, and even though she can be VERY hard to love, I don’t think I can do it. I keep thinking that surely on of these times something will click. But that is highly unlikely. I will keep trying though.
I would appreciate any feedback. Please be honest. Am I in the wrong in what I have told her in the past? Thank you. 0209-11
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