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Babe Repellant of a Different Kind

I don’t want children because of one simple reason: I don’t like babies. That’s right- I am a woman who doesn’t like babies. I love toddlers, love small children and older kids.  (I’m a 6th grade teacher, after all!) But babies, I cannot stand. And for some reason, this seems to be unacceptable at my profession.

If you work in a school, you really can’t escape babydom. Pretty much every female teacher leaves for maternity. Some take a year off to care for young children. Because of this fact, I normally keep my mouth shut, except for a hearty “congratulations” and “good luck” to the co-worker. I mean, if it were me, I wouldn’t want some person talking about how they don’t like babies while I’m expecting! It just seems rude.

Apparently, Shana didn’t think it was something to keep silent about. She is a co-worker who has 3 young kids. Actually, she spends a great deal of time telling us stories about them which have nothing to do with anything. (Example: Billy was drawing a house yesterday!) Anyway, one day at our merry lunch table, Cindy said she was expecting. I congratulated her.

“Oh you don’t really mean that!,” Shana said laughing. When the rest of the table turned to look at her, she quickly added, “Amber doesn’t like babies!”

I confess, I turned red. I didn’t know how to respond. Cindy was very kind- she laughed and commented that regardless of how I felt about infants, I certainly had a talent with 11 year olds. Aw, how sweet. The moment was almost saved when Shana said, “That’s probably why she’s single now, most men want children, you know.”

At that moment I turned a beautiful dark red and wanted to crawl under my seat. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of two years a few weeks before and made the mistake of mentioning it to Shana.

Later, away from the audience of co-workers, I confronted her about what she had said such outlandish rude statements. Shana made the excuse that she was only doing it, “Because I thought you’d want the other single teachers to know that you’re available again!” Incredible! 0131-11


Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Enna February 24, 2011, 4:49 pm

    Very rude of her OP. I bet everyone else saw what she did and were shocked.

    As for “quite a few men want children blah blah blah” well quite a few men are happy to have sex but don’t take any responsiblities. (I’m not saying that all men do this, but there are a notable number of men who are gutless commitment-phobes who don’t bother using contraception.)

    It is your choice what you do with your life. I’m of a simillar opinion and when a firend was silly and started posted “downs syndorne” on my fb page after I said I wanted children I sent him a message saying “the risks are tiny when you look at the bigger picture. e.g. 1% up to 1.5%”.

  • Chloe February 25, 2011, 8:46 am

    I think Erin must be reading a different posting because I fail to see who she’s being rude and disrespectful too. If anything, she was expressing her viewpoint on having kids. Saying she can’t stand babies is not mean or rude – in fact, she even says that that’s pretty much something she shares with a select few and actually withholds that info from parents and parents-to-be. The only one getting defensive here is Erin.

  • babs February 26, 2011, 1:34 pm

    We had someone in our office who sounds like Shana. She was beautiful, and could get away with saying things in a sly, wink-wink, light hearted way. She did this to me several times in front of others, using info I had shared with her as a good friend would share something that wasn’t for the general population to know. We had a great office, filled with good friends, and she ended up splitting the admins right in two, to the point that all of our bosses had to get in on it to try and sort things out. Big waste of corporate time. After the dust settled, we found out that she was sent to us from another department, after good friends there weren’t speaking to each other!

    The reason why I say it sounds like Shana, is because people like this use others to draw attention to themselves, will not admit that they did anything wrong, and then turn it around make it look like you’re the overly sensitive one. And, you better believe it – she is also talking behind your back, doing some damage control, especially if she thinks that you’ve made her look bad.

    It’s called a “toxic friendship.” Dump Shana.

  • Leah February 26, 2011, 3:00 pm

    I love babies (and toddlers, tweens, teens, college age and even older).
    But if someone does not want them, then I say “Thank you for knowing that, and not having them.”

  • Nathaniel February 26, 2011, 10:00 pm

    we had an adult only wedding because kids can be loud(my 3 year old nephew was the ring bearer and snored during the ceremony) but other than him and my wife’s 6-year old niece who was the flower girl, we said no kids mostly because we had an open bar, and had to pay 15 bucks a person, even if the person is underage and not drinking, and than we had to pay 20 bucks a head for food and knew that most children would not eat much of it because we didn’t have hotdogs and tator tots… so i see in no way that her asking for adults only is a bridezilla

  • AS March 1, 2011, 12:41 pm

    @Nathaniel, weddings and Baby showers are different. Weddings are more formal. But Baby showers are for another baby on its way. I don’t see why older siblings of the unborn babies should not be a part of the shower – especially if the MTB is a single-mother struggling with finances. It is an added burden financially( as well as physically/emotionally too probably) on her to ask her to find a baby sitter just because someone wants to honor her. Also, baby showers (as far as I know) are held more informally, and is usually dry as the guest of honour cannot drink.

  • Lisbeth March 3, 2011, 10:56 am

    Shana was really rude and unjustified in her behavior. That kind of sly, wink-wink-nudge-nudge attitude does nothing positive for any situation.

    I think I might have responded with, “Ah, Shana, you got that wrong. I am very happy for Cindy. Only I have the privilege of deciding how I feel about anything. Don’t step over that line again.”

  • Kendo_Bunny March 4, 2011, 12:17 am

    Shana is making a completely unfounded leap of logic. Not liking babies doesn’t mean you can’t be happy for someone who does having children. I hate team sports. But does that mean that when I’m told Neighbor Jim’s son led his Whatever Team to a national championship, I am only being insincere or snide when I tell him congratulations? Different things are important to different people, and congratulations are offered to let people know you are glad for their good fortune, even if it isn’t what you personally would want.

  • Sharon March 4, 2011, 7:41 pm

    I agree with Leah. OP is not a phoney and has made her choices for life that are great, they work for no one and she isn’t hurting anyone.

    We are all so different in this world. Everyone has their likes and dislikes that others just can’t understand. Give me a baby to care for and I would be a whiz, ask me t oteach something to a room of 6th graders, and, I would tear my hair out!!!