“To Be Rude Or Not To Be Rude, That Is The Question”

by admin on March 24, 2011

This is a interesting one, because it involves responding to acted bad manners with real bad manners. So, my role-playing group (think impromptu acting with dice to determine random actions) really likes to get into character, and as such whenever one of us plays a brute they treat the others as you would expect. Now, this is completely okay as far as we are concerned because hey, that’s the idea. As long as the person isn’t being rude in real life, they can yell in a church or call another person a idiot because it’s all in character.

Well, we had a new person join our group, the girlfriend of one of the other members. We meet once a week, and it’s something we take somewhat seriously. We start to get into character and the newbie makes a mistake. My other friend calls her out on it while in character, so he came off as brash and mean. She then steps away from the table and starts to break down in tears. We weren’t heartless, so we tried to explain the situation to her.  However, she screamed at all of us, calling us immature and moronic (I think satanic was thrown in there as well) and then told her boyfriend to never play with us again.

Now, I could understand her reaction if my friend was being legitimately mean to her, BUT HE WAS ACTING!!! She didn’t even listen to us afterwards! Needless to say, she never came to our sessions again, although her boyfriend did. They eventually broke up because she was overly sensitive.  0322-11

Tsk, tsk.  Too bad there was no person playing the role of the avenging angel, pissed off parent or strict schoolmaster to put Mr. Brute in his acted place.

Being that she was a newbie and she promptly made a mistake, I think the gracious thing to have done would have been to step out of character and gently inform her of the correction needed.    I don’t think staying in character should take precedent over kindness to the uninitiated or inexperienced.    It would have cost little in lost time and saved a whole lot of possible drama.   And if she was truly that sensitive, even more reason to extend a momentary kindness so that later accusations of unkindness have the ring of hyperbole to them.

{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }

Lily March 24, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Hi Maitri, I just saw your comment – my friend and I are both 39 and I’ve known her since we were 25. She has gotten slightly better over the years. She doesn’t have any health or anxiety issues – she is just very self-centered and immature and doesn’t understand that not everything is about her. She is very quick to take offense and I think it stems from insecurity and a lack of self-awareness. Recent example: her boss emailed her dept. and her name was last in the email chain. She decided that was his way of telling her he wasn’t happy with her work and she pulled herself off a project in a snit and almost got fired. The main thing that has changed as we get older is that I’m much less tolerant of her behavior – it has become too draining to watch everything I say; I feel like I can’t be myself with her. I didn’t mean to hi-jack the thread; I wish I could PM from this part of the site…thanks for what you wrote, I appreciate it.


Anna March 24, 2011 at 4:22 pm

I been a Dungeon master for few years now and had my share of new players in the group. We have very active role playing in the group but we always make sure when new players come in to tone things down and take 1-5 sessions where we let the new player settle in and such before starting to speed things up again some more.

The thing is with new players many are really nervous when they come into this. D&D is a very complicated game and you are playing in group of people often where you only know 1 or 2 person in the group in all. And it can be really hard to tell when a person is role playing and when not if you are not familiar with their role playing style.

In this situation if she made a mistake the dungeon master should have paused a bit and explained to her. It doesn’t take long time to correct even the bigger mistakes new players do. In the first two sessions mistakes should not be dealt with in character. As there is a hefty learning curve to the game.

Not to mention it feels bit like the boyfriend talked her into trying this and so these were very likely his friends whom she was possibly trying to fit in with which might make her even more stressed. So I think they were far to harsh with her, bringing a player to his tears is not in the spirit of the game. I feel kinda like the OP is actually exaggerating a bit and don’t see why this is something he should be posting here anyway. You never know if the poor girl even reads this website and that would not encourage her to come back and apologize and give this another go.

My point is take it slow with new players and be extra nice it’s worth it in the long run. I had some real drama-queens in my group over the years but most of them are also really fun players when they get in the game. So in this case patience and niceness is the key.


1Mom March 24, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I completely agree with admin. If she were someone who had been to the meetings before and experienced them first-hand, calling her out “in character” probably shouldn’t be such a big deal. However, because she was new, I think a little more kindness was called for. Understanding something in theory is not the same as experiencing it first hand.


Elle March 24, 2011 at 5:16 pm

“Interesting to me is the mention of assertive, brutish characters and no mention of kind, accommodating characters. ” – Hal

That’s because lawful good characters are *boring* 😉

Or at least they would be if they didn’t have us flea-ridden brutes to try to civilize and create inter-character conflicts.


Stace March 24, 2011 at 5:18 pm

It honestly depends on the nature of the mistake whether she was justified or not.

Was it an out-of-character mistake such as not understanding how a skill worked, or not realizing a facet of combat? You cut the newbie a lot of slack and step out of character to kindly help them out.

Was it an in-character mistake such as deciding it might be a good idea for the first level character to call the powerful and ill-tempered queen a ‘trollop’? If she can’t handle other characters responding to that in-character, she probably wasn’t a good fit for the game anyway.

Was it an in-character mistake but one that stemmed from a misunderstanding of how the game worked? Then it should have been explained out of character, but it was also partly her responsibility to let the group know that her action wasn’t intentional but due to misunderstanding, or they don’t necessarily have a way of knowing that her character didn’t mean to say, wipe out the party with a cone of cold because she didn’t understand how the area of effect worked.


June March 24, 2011 at 5:50 pm

As I was reading this, wondering why the boyfriend isn’t acting on her behalf, I was reminded of a similar situation several years ago.

I was dating a guy who played obscure board games all the time with his family. Our relationship was kind of rocky, since he and I didn’t have a lot of the same hobbies. So, after months of unsuccessful tagging along during rock climbing, hockey games and in-depth conversations with his friends about WoW (that I totally didn’t get because I never played), we were at his family’s house playing yet another game. It was one his family played for years and I was just learning. During a break in the game, his sister said, “Oh, no, June! You can keep playing to catch up to the rest of us!”

I was so upset and felt so isolated that I had to compose myself in the kitchen before coming back out. Boyfriend wasn’t terribly supportive of situation, and eventually broke up with me after consulting with his family!! (They advised him to ditch me because we were too different.)

Anyway, that family game was one of the last straws for me.
I don’t condone the girlfriend’s behavior. But I’ve been there.


Powers March 24, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Good heavens, where did all these female gamers come from? =) Who knew so many of them read etiquette blogs!


Meegs March 24, 2011 at 7:57 pm

I’m not sure why the Admin or other posters are saying they should have taken a moment to explain things futher to the newbie when it says pretty clearly in the OP that they did just that.


shari March 24, 2011 at 9:13 pm

I was thinking the same Powers, nice to see there are other female gamers about!


Kaossy March 24, 2011 at 9:22 pm

I’m amazed at the level of reading comprehension of the commenters and admin. Or, shall I say, lack there of.

It very clearly states: “We weren’t heartless, so we tried to explain the situation to her.” This would mean, they stepped out of character and explained it to her. She still reacted like an infant.

The group and boyfriend are very much better off without the baby around.


admin March 24, 2011 at 9:39 pm

I don’t have a reading comprehension problem. Their attempt to explain the situation came after the mistake, then the “brash and mean” in character chastisement, and then the girl backing away from the game and having a meltdown. Their “heartfulness” didn’t kick in until the situation imploded and the only options were to be more aggressively brash and mean or try to do some retroactive damage control out of character.


Nichs March 24, 2011 at 9:24 pm

I’ve recently started playing D&D style roleplaying games, and yes, they are very hard at the beginning. However, I also know that after a few sessions, you tend to kind of develop a routine. In this case, it sounds like this group had been playing for a while and had gotten used to interacting with each other in character. If they failed to explain the way the game normally went to this newcomer, that’s a little rude, but it sounds like they were just so used to it they didn’t think anything of it, or assumed she knew more about RPGs than she did.

The way I see it, the brute’s comment was slightly rude, but he probably wasn’t even thinking about how it would come off. Her initial reaction was over the top, but understandable. As soon as she became upset, it sounds like the other players broke character to explain to her the situation and tried to be as understanding and accommodating as possible. However, instead of trying to understand where the other players were coming from, Girlfriend through a hissy-fit for not getting her way, bullied her boyfriend, and caused a scene.

In other words, Brute’s actions were rude, but somewhat understandable given the circumstances. Girlfriend’s initial reaction was understandable, but her reaction after the others tried to explain themselves was over the top and in my opinion, ruder than Brute’s original actions.


RP March 24, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I think it’s ridiculous that so many people are insisting that she was overly sensitive when we don’t even know what was said. We only know that the brute character is allowed to swear in churches and call them idiots.

There is absolutely no reason that the Brute character had to be the one to call out the new player on her mistake. Let a character who isn’t a jerk do it or let the GK do it. The Brute didn’t have to be nice but they didn’t have to go out of their way to be mean to someone who’s just learning how to play. Yes, OP, you and your friends are all used to the Brute character’s behavior but she isn’t. Would you be OK with a complete stranger calling you an idiot because you made a mistake?


Edhla March 25, 2011 at 12:18 am

I have never posted before, but had to put in my two cents about this:

The girl in question sounds like someone who is scared and traumatised. I don’t know her and I’m aware of the fact that it’s dangerous to speak for someone I don’t know, but that’s how I see it. The fact that she’s a woman DOES make a difference if her reaction to the “Brute” came out of fear or because of triggered past trauma. The hysterical screaming of “Satanism” and suchlike? Certainly ill-mannered, but again, that sounds to me like a terrified defence mechanism.

This has been my experience. I do this when I feel severely attacked, frightened and cornered. (I’ve never called anyone a Satanist, admittedly. But I totally identify with the screaming meltdown she had once the shock wore off.)

Is it “right” to react this way to being startled/afraid/humiliated/feeling vulnerable? Probably not. I’m not making excuses for her, simply trying to explain things from my perspective.

A strange male metaphorically bit her head off for an innocent mistake. If he was shouting as well, that would have made it ten times worse. As for the “explaining” afterwards, without more detail I can’t say if this was “awww, we’re sorry” or “oh come on, he was in character, get with the program and stop ruining our game, you whiner.” Either way… if someone apologises, however they might do so, does that mean the apologised-to person MUST accept it and just “get over” what was clearly being very upset? In any case, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I’d much rather people not surprise me with an attack of that nature than fall over apologising afterwards.

What I’m ultimately trying to get at is that for some women (and I imagine, some men) being severely criticised or shouted at by a man can be extremely upsetting. I’m thinking particularly those who have a history of being abused.

Am I saying “oh her reaction was OK, since I’m psychic and she was clearly abused?”

No. All I’m saying is she was clearly scared, humiliated and upset. And this could have been avoided if the group were more gracious and socially adept. It is ALWAYS better to be “careful” around new members of the social group, whether they RPG or just have coffee. It takes a while to learn someone’s temperament, history, the way they respond to thinks, etc.

While I’m not in the habit of policing my own boyfriend’s friends, if one of his friends did something that genuinely frightened or humiliated me, to the point of tears, I don’t know how happy I’d be for him to continue being buddies with them either.


Sarah March 25, 2011 at 5:18 am

If it were me, I’d have played the session with less roleplay than usual to allow newbie to get the hang of the game mechanics and ease her into the roleplaying from there. Slipping in and out of character is simple enough if you need to hold somebodys hand through their first few sessions.

Being new to RPG’s, and not knowing the other payers, she won’t have been able to distinguish easily between who is in or out of character, so when your friend criticized her as the brute she’ll have taken it personally. Easily done. Sound like you guys were lacking in your welcome and sensitivity towards a new player.


karmabottle March 25, 2011 at 5:21 am

Could it be that she insisted that she come along, but he didn’t really want her to?
Possibly he let her hang out to dry because he was hoping she would not wish to come back. Maybe that was his passive way of protecting his private passion for RPG.
After all, she would not be the first significant other who pushed to be involved in something their lover enjoyed. Maybe she’s one of those folks who can’t understand his need to have a “thing” that belongs to himself alone, and maybe he’s too chicken to spell it out clearly.
I’m just throwing out the possibility that he didn’t prep her adequately because he was just humoring her and hoped this would be the last time she tagged along.


Not an RPG'er March 25, 2011 at 6:09 am

It sounds to me like the girlfriend was very tense in a new situation with complex rules and trying to impress boyfriend’s friends. So when this situation arose she couldn’t deal with it calmly and ask for help which I think would have been the best reaction.

I was raised in quite a fundamentalist Christian family and was taught that RPGs (especially D&D) are satanic (because allegedly it contains some ‘real’ magick) which could be why the girlfriend called that gathering satanic.


Amber March 25, 2011 at 11:08 am

I’m kind of all over the place on this one. I wish I knew if the mistake was in or out of character, what exactly the brash and mean statement was that was made by Mr. In-character (was he grousing at her, or was it a heavy insult?), whether Mr. In-character immediately apologized to Girlfriend (i.e. “Sorry, I got caught up in the moment! Didn’t mean to push you away, newbie!”). I could be more forgiving to OP if the mistake was in character and an apology was given as soon as distress was shown. I would not be forgiving if the mistake was out of character and there was a sense of “What’s the big deal?” before the meltdown was extra melty.

But I gotta say, Girlfriend annoys me, no matter the OP and her friends’ slight. Her reaction to an etiquette faux pas was in no way Ehell approved. When slighted in an awkward situation (especially in a situation where the slighter doesn’t immediately see the slight and should be given a chance to apologize — we’re all human after all), you don’t bust up into tears and start screaming at everyone about how satanic and moronic their game is. And you don’t try to force significant other to never play ball with these people again. Her reaction was over the top. A calmer head may have called out Mr. In-character and settled the matter civilly without making a scene.


Ellie March 25, 2011 at 1:01 pm

I can certainly understand the group’s thinking here. They were acting, and when you’re good at acting and are in an established character, you don’t really think about it. Once, while doing a fake news cast project, I accidentally interrupted my partner before she was finished with her gossip part, and she “snapped” that she wasn’t done yet. I kept my character and told her to hurry it up so we could get back to ‘real’ news. Do I really think she’s a bimbo? Was she actually mad at me? Nope. It was just acting, and we congratulated each other on staying in character.

I really do think the GF was oversensitive. She knew heading in that it was a game, and can figure out that *everyone’s* interactions with the game were probably in character, too. It’s understandable that she didn’t pick everything up right away, but her freak out at the end says to me that she wasn’t really open to trying new things anyway.


The Elf March 25, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Powers, we’re everywhere. Be afraid.


The Elf March 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm

KissofLye, I’m not really seeing that there is a gender angle here. It’s not girl vs. boys, it’s newbie vs. established player. I have sympathy (until the blow-up/tears/satanism comment) for her because she’s a newbie, not because she’s a girl. I think a lot of established players forget how difficult it is to learn D&D or to ease into a new gaming group.


Elle March 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm

“I was raised in quite a fundamentalist Christian family and was taught that RPGs (especially D&D) are satanic (because allegedly it contains some ‘real’ magick) which could be why the girlfriend called that gathering satanic.”

Oh that’s definately why she called it satanic. The “D&D is satanic” meme is a persistant one but it really shows she went into the game with a closed mind. Five minutes of play is all it takes to figure out that D&D is about as satanic as a game of Uno and has as much real “magick” as a sheet of baseball statistics.

I think the girlfriend went into the game with a closed mind. I think the boyfriend dragged her along because he wanted her to see that a pastime he really enjoyed was not satanic/ immature. The GM messed up by not making a friendly-to-newcomers environment. The brute’s player messed up by not making in character vs out of character communication clear (especially with someone not familiar with the difference). The OP mesed up big time with his “jeesh it’s just acting, didn’t we explain that” attitude (believe me, I have heard explanations that were more stinging and insulting than the faux pas they were trying to sweep away). Overall this was a great big mess on EVERYone’s part.


kelly March 25, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Can I just ask a question here? The OP when talking about being in character seems to be saying you can behave however you wishes and it is OK so long as it is in character and goes on to say that they can yell in church and call other people idiots on this basis. Is this only when interacting with other people in the game, or is it generally as the reference to yelling in a church comes across to me (this is the first time I have heard of role play like this) like the role play spills into other areas and with people who are not playing. Is this right?
Also if it is ok for him to be unpleasant to the new girl as he has chosen to play a pig, then why can she not choose to play and oversensitive character and yell and scream at him back? It just comes across like some people were using the role playing thing as a get out of jail free card in order to just be unpleasant, and make the new girl feel like an outsider.


Vicki March 25, 2011 at 8:06 pm

The absence of the boyfriend from a lot of this has me wondering whether he set her up to fail: for whatever reason, he didn’t want to add her to that group, so instead of doing his best to make it work well for her, he did as little as possible for her. It doesn’t sound like he told her much about how the gaming group worked. He may not have told her much about game mechanics. (Imagine trying to learn bridge from a scornful older brother who goes to a bridge club twice a week and acts as though you should know three different bidding systems five minutes after he explains what a trick is and what “no trump means.”)

That may all have been unconscious. Or it may have been deliberate and overplayed: he thought she’d decide it was boring, not actively hostile.

Or I may be entirely wrong. There was clearly a communication problem somewhere, but that’s about as general and unhelpful as a doctor telling a patient “You’re sick.”


etimodnar March 25, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Personally, I think the fault here is with the person playing the character of the Brute. Did HE apologise? Did he see anything wrong with attacking a newbie using insensitive words?

Yes, everyone was in character and as such they’d act differently to usual. It’s great that so many people have been sensitive to newbies joining RPGs. But if I had joined a new RPG or Improv group, was giving it a good go and someone picked on me, then I’d be hurt. I’d want the person who hurt me to 1. understand that what they said was hurtful to newbie-me and 2. apologise. If in a few weeks, they said the same thing and I didn’t take it as badly, then it shows evidence that I *get* the dynamic of the group now.

As a final point, I’ve played with too many “brutes” who use their character as an excuse to be a bigoted, misogynistic moron. They can’t be one in real life, so they relish being one in the game.


KissofLye March 25, 2011 at 8:30 pm

@ The Elf-

Most people are just acknowledging her as a newbie and I appreciate that. But there were two comments in particular that just…got my fur up a bit I suppose? One in particular.

Maitri March
“Oh and I’d also like to add that many males who play RPG’s bemoan the fact that there aren’t many women out there who also play. Is it any wonder, when things like this happen? Women *are* usually more sensitive than men. If men want to promote RPG’s to women, making it more female-friendly is a step in the right direction. There’s a stereotype that men who play these sorts of games tend to have poor social skills, and stories like this only enforce it. (My friends that play in my game are sometimes lacking in the social skills, although my husband isn’t).”

That’s blatant sexist stereotyping and I don’t like it. I was just wondering if it would have been the same had she been a he instead? I honestly don’t think we’d see so many people on her side and we probably wouldn’t see comments like this.


Cooler Becky March 26, 2011 at 3:19 am

I don’t LARP very often for this very reason. I find it difficult to stay in character for extended periods of time and also don’t feel comfortable with not knowing what to do. Most Australian extended LARP’s I’ve been to usually have a very set dynamic, and it’s very difficult, almost impossible for a newbie to break into.

I sympathise with this girl, because she clearly didn’t expect those things to happen. I made the same mistake. It takes time to develope the skin, and a lot of roleplayers here seem to enjoy tearing into a newbie just to prove that they need to, or even drive them away. It’s cruel, and not a good practise.


karmabottle March 26, 2011 at 10:18 am

I have a second thought. Although I see the point that the group should be somewhat sensitive to newbie mistakes, did the group extend an invitation for her to join, or did the boyfriend bring her of his own volition?
Imagine a similar scenario in real life:
You and your close knit group of friends have been meeting for coffee once a week for years at your fav local coffee place. A guy in the group brings his latest girlfriend. During the evening, she uses someone else’s spoon by accident, inadvertantly knocks the last biscotti into the floor, steps on someone’s foot, and accidently insults waitresses (which two of you happen to be).
Wouldn’t you be somewhat…..mmm….underwhelmed with the need to apologize when an outspoken member of your group finally drew her attention to how annoying she was?
I’m not saying it would be “right”, but you have to admit you’d be somewhat unmoved to apologize *beyond* a simple, “Don’t mind Jerry. That’s just how he is when he is frustrated. He’s really protective of our weekly coffee meets.”
There would probably even be a small part of you that didn’t mind if she didn’t come back next week.

Mind you, I’m only presenting this in terms of the group’s viewpoint. Everyone seems very inclined to think of the girlfriend’s viewpoint, so I’m just tossing out a thought.


wolfie March 26, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Karmabottle – based on the post it sounds like she was yelled at for the first mistake she made – not after a series of them led to the group being fed up with her. In your example it would be as if she was yelled at after grabbing someone’s spoon.

It sounds like the group didn’t take into account that a new person would not be able to tell that Brute was in character vs he was like that all the time and took his yelling as his real personality. Sounds like they didn’t stop to think that it takes a while to get used to all that and were shocked and surprised that she didn’t react like she had been playing for years after the first roll of the dice. She did overreact but the OP’s group could have done a lot more to prevent it from happening in the first place.


Ista March 27, 2011 at 2:11 am

I’ve role played for years. My first two groups didn’t explain rules or dynamics ahead of time, but admittedly were kind to newbie. I didn’t go back because I didn’t feel like I understood the games being played. However the last 7 years I’ve been with the same core RPG group; they had me sit in and ask questions during a couple sessions BEFORE I made a character–which I did with the GM’s direct assistance. This allowed him to catch me up on current group dynamics and give me some hints that I should choose certain skill types over others. Even today, when I, or any other players, make a technical mistake the GM is the only one who can call us on it. We break character to ask questions about the technical side of things. We have had other newbies come and go, but I haven’t seen any that appeared to feel ostracized, confused or at the point of tears.
If the explanations after the GF had dissolved into a manic mess were along the lines of “Hey, Joe was in the right and you were in the wrong so get over it” then I can see why she would become more aggressive rather than less. You have to be very careful explaining rules after a break has occurred, as it can make a new player feel stupid and/or ganged-up-on.

Beyond that…some people aren’t cut out to play made up characters. If everyone in the world had that skill then actors wouldn’t be so highly paid.


Peach Hat March 28, 2011 at 12:56 am

I can see both sides of this, but I feel it worth mentioning that the very first tabletop RPG I ever played in, I was also dragged to by my (then) boyfriend. It was 3rd edition Dungeons and Dragons, and the very first thing that the rest of the adventuring party did when my brand new character was introduced was try to kill him. I was a ‘newbie’ in every sense of the word, but it never even occurred to me to take it personally, much less burst into tears. Of course it would be, perhaps, a better world if every D&D group carefully censored their characters when new folk are introduced…but there certainly is such a thing as being far too sensitive, if you ask me.


acr March 28, 2011 at 2:17 pm

I”ve played RPGs for years, and it seems to me like that guy was mean and rude. It’s a GAME, it’s supposed to be fun! If your being “in character” makes the game less fun for others, then stop it. It does sound like Girlfriend over-reacted – and she could very well be high maintenance and over-sensitive. I’ve had friends in these RPGs that I knew I could play “rougher” with (my character being mean to their character), and they would enjoy the game. I’ve played with other people who wouldn’t enjoy being picked on in character, and so I didn’t.


AS March 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

It wasn’t until I saw the posts that I realised it was a game, and not performing art (like Improv acting).


AS March 28, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Adding to my previous comment –

I have played D&D often though I started playing only after I met my boyfriend. None of his friends would make me feel bad about anything I do (and that also included an 8 year old of another friend once, who had played the game before). I don’t know how different the stated game is from D&D, but I think expecting basic human kindness is not asking for too much (unless you are actually acting, which does not include correcting real life errors including mistakes in acting).


ladycrim March 29, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Situations like these are why RP groups (in my experience) tend to make the “L” symbol on their forehead (thumb and forefinger held up) to indicate “I am speaking as myself, not my character”. Can solve a lot of problems like these. The girlfriend may or may not have overreacted, but she was probably feeling out-of-place and flustered to begin with.


Actress March 30, 2011 at 7:12 pm

I actually have worked regularly as an actress in an interactive dinner theater production. My character is rude, horrible… a real treat to play. Most audience members delight when I’m being insulting or asinine – women will even pull me over specifically to insult their husbands. However, if I can tell an audience member just doesn’t “get it,” I make up a bogus reason to walk away. Just because I’m in character doesn’t mean I want to ruin someone’s evening. Now, breaking character is instant termination so I’m not EVER going to do that, but I will make up a reason to walk away if I’m upsetting someone.


Fraenzi May 17, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Wow… I would’ve reacted the same way as this girl.
I’m not a very social person and when I try to do something with other people (because I actually would like to be more social…), I tend to be very, very scared and nervous.
So, if anything goes wrong, even if it’s just a tiny little thing, I -will- break down in tears and later I’ll probably be too ashamed to go back again…

And from experience I can say that once you’re in the middle of a nervous break-down, you don’t react rationally. If I’m crying my eyes out, I’m very likely to be rude, because I want to draw attention away from the fact that I’m crying becaus of some stupid little thing.

So… yeah, I do understand that poor girl…


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