For some reason, it seems like as my relatives age they feel entitled to say whatever pops into their mind. Is it just my family or is this universal?
I was visiting an uncle after not seeing him for a year or so. I guess I was no longer the petite little girl he had in his memory, because after greeting me with a hug, he said: “Well you’ve gained weight, now haven’t you?” Then he stood there just waiting for a response! Shocked, I kind of murmered that yes, I guess I have. Here, I thought his wife (my aunt) would chime in and tell him to shut up, but instead she asked for details as to WHY I gained weight.
I’m actually very comfortable with my weight which is well within the normal range, and this gave me something to laugh about with my sisters later on. Together, we came up with a few rebuttles, my favorite being, “I’ve gotten fat, you’ve gotten old, I guess we’re all caught up. See ya in a year.” 0502-11
I’m convinced that people say stupid things because of a belief that they must say something in order to fill an awkward void with whatever flotsam and jetsam happens to float to the top of their “next on my mental list of something to say”. Don’t validate stupidity with a response. Merely ignore it as if it was never said and move on to the next topic of conversation with a clever bean dip maneuver. And retaliating with deliberate but equal stupidity is not a clever bean dip maneuver.
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When I was younger I had a friend who blurted out what ever was on her mind.Once she was quite hurtful when she said ” My, you are very fat ” [ At one time in my life I was quite tubby ] and I brushed it off but I think sometimes people should keep their thoughts to themselves.
@Elizabeth that’s so sad. I don’t even know you but I wish I could have been there to protect you from those people, including your Aunt. That has to be the worst time to attack someone, when they are grieving.
A few years back I remember saying something insensitive about someone’s weight. My young cousin went from being a slightly plump young tween to an appalingly thin teen, compleat with sallow skin and scary dark circles under her eyes. I remember blurting out to her mom if everything was okay with her because I was so shocked, and I was actually concerned. She did have a medical condition that they were dealing with but I think between me and the rest of the family they were both hurt and annoyed.
P.S. I did not ask with my cousin in the room, only her mom. I’m not sure my other family had the same level of tact (if I can use that word in relation to my own blunder)