Hello! I recently left my first job and accepted another position within the same field. The change was significant with regard to the hours, pay, amount of work and benefits. My new position has a flexible schedule and work-at-home options. I should note that I am 28 and married, but we do not have children.
Since my new office is literally right across the street from my old office, I often run into friends and associates. I was out for lunch with a friend of mine one day at a local restaurant. We happened to be in line to order near a table where a mutual acquaintance, Erin, was sitting. Erin said hello and asked about my new job. I responded that I really enjoyed the new challenge, new co-workers, new boss, etc. We chatted very briefly before I returned to conversation with my friend. Suddenly, Erin exclaims, loud enough for the restaurant to hear, ”Your job would be PERFECT for a mother!”, while nudging my side/stomach and nodding. I replied, “You’re right. When I find a mother, I’ll tell her to apply.” Erin smiled, confused, and went back to talking with her companions.
I may have been rude for the flip comeback, but I was appalled at her nerve! Erin and I are no more than casual acquaintances. My family planning has nothing to do with her. Not the most egregious example of “when are you having kids” rudeness, but coming from someone you barely know, in public, while poking my stomach is a bit much! 0511-11
That was a very clever comeback which I cannot find any fault with. Erin was blathering…what I call “shallow stupid” things to say merely to fill a conversational void. As you noted, not the most egregious thing someone can say given the situation.
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I faced the ‘why don’t you have children?’ question repeatedly for many years (it has slowed now that I’ve been married 21 years!). For a long time I handled it badly but I found an answer eventually: “Wow! That is something I haven’t even explained to my grandmother.”
And the truth is that my grandmother never asked why I didn’t have children.
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