The following baffling encounter happened while I was planning my upcoming wedding. The wedding was about seven months away, and I’d been trying to keep the planning process fairly low-key, just to avoid instances like this.
It was a popular holiday, and my fiancé and I went out to our local pub to meet our friends and celebrate. Immediately upon our arrival, I was pulled aside by one of the “regulars”, a lady my fiancé had known for a long time, but who he wasn’t particularly fond of. Up until this point, my interaction with her had been limited to parties and celebrations by mutual friends.
She, let’s call her C, dragged me away from greeting my friends, looking very upset. I’m naturally a bleeding heart, and I’m used to people asking me for advice, so I felt concerned and wondered what could be wrong. C then asked me if I knew “L”. Well, yes, I had gone to high school with her, and we’d been in the same group of friends, though we’d never been particularly close.
C then informed me that she had noticed L was on my friends list on a popular social networking website, and that L was now dating C’s most recent ex, D. They were even *gasp* engaged! C went on to let me know that if I was planning on inviting L and D to my wedding, that C would have to decline her invitation and “distance” herself from me and my fiancé.
I was dumbfounded. To reiterate, the wedding was seven months away. I hadn’t sent out anything even resembling wedding invitations. Even if I had, neither C nor L were on our guest list. C had totally caught me by surprise by assuming that she herself was invited, not to mention making demands about any other possible guests. It also struck me that “distancing” herself would be difficult, as she rarely saw us, anyway.
I managed to gather my wits about me and assured her that the guest list did not include L, or her fiancé D. I said that the guest list was still in the making, and that we would most likely be planning an intimate celebration with just family and close friends. I knew that C would be moving out of state before long, and I doubt that she’d miss an invitation.
C seemed to glaze over and not hear a word I said, but seemed satisfied that she had informed me of her demands and returned to the party. Thankfully, to this day that is the worst faux pas I’ve observed personally regarding my own wedding. Though the date has not yet arrived, and I can never be sure what’s in store for me! 0606-11
An encounter like this will pretty much guarantee that an invitation will not be forthcoming. It would be exceptionally impolite to expose C to the horrors of being fellow guests with a former ex and his fiancee at a wedding.