My daughter’s first birthday is fast approaching, and I’ve been trying to figure out a quandary. My husband and I started a college savings for our daughter when she was born, and rather than getting a bunch of loud, obnoxious baby toys (she has a TON of toys already, and we live in a small apartment so space is extremely limited), we’d really prefer people to use the money they would have spent on a gift and deposit it into the savings.
The particular savings account we chose has a feature that allows people other than my husband and I to deposit money into it, and they can deposit as little as $15, so it’s not going to break anyone’s bank. I can either e-mail a form to people who want to deposit, or I can hand deposit slips to them in person.
I’m torn. On the one hand, the practicality of giving college money, rather than toys that are going to last a year tops, appeals to me greatly. However, I’m afraid of coming across as some kind of no-fun-having money grubber. I also don’t know how to word the invitations, “Please don’t buy my daughter a stupid toy; give me money instead!” Do I just ask for a check and deposit like that, or should I have deposit slips at the party for people who want to do it that way?
Please help! I don’t want to end up in Ehell as a “gimme mommy!” 0712-11
There is simply no possible way you can directly ask people for money without appearing to be a gigundo gimme pig. Handing out deposit slips or noting in the birthday invitations that guests are to keep their stinking, bothersome toy gifts far, far away will surely have one of your guests running at break neck speed to this site to tattle on you. And then I would figuratively put you on the Ehell BBQ spit and roast you to a crispy golden brown.
The only way you can possibly direct your guests to give money is if they ask you FIRST what would be an appropriate gift. It’s no different than wedding registry information….it’s OK if the guest PULLS the information from you as to your gift preferences but in no way can we ever PUSH that information. Gifts are not a mandatory element of a birthday and you should really scale back your expectations that your child deserves gifts and that somehow you can have any control over the generosity of your guests or their giftgiving decision making process.
And if your guests do give loud, noisy, unneeded toys, express appropriate gratitude that the giver took the time to earn the money he/she spent, took time to choose a gift, wrap and carry it to the party and then either donate the toys to a charity that would be thrilled to receive them, return for a refund or sell them on ebay.