I had been friends with a woman we will call Lisa for almost 17 years. Although she was not known for being the most polite of people. The last incident resulted in me distancing myself from her and eventually terminating the friendship.
Lisa was pregnant with her second child by an abusive husband. I was worried for her but she seemed confident and happy with her decision so I tried to show as much support as possible. Lisa threw herself a very extravagant baby shower (guests were mostly friends of her mother in law and a few co-workers) which I was not able to attend due to work (I was a divorced mother of two small children).
After the first baby shower, Lisa complained that there were “too many old people there”. I was a bit confused at this since she created the guest list herself and was in full control about who could and could not attend. Nevertheless she felt the need for a “girls night out shower”. I quickly set about putting this into motion.
I put together a small guest list (about 6- 8 people) because I did not want to re-invite people that were in attendance at the first baby shower, I thought that would look very greedy. Two of the guests were pregnant as well and I set about trying to find a fun but mild atmosphere where they would enjoy themselves. I settled on a cozy little restaurant with top rated food and a live jazz band but that was in a very nice part of town that would not attract a rowdy crowd. I also inquired about the food preferences of all the guests (numerous times) to ensure this restaurant offered something they would like. ( I know how funny the taste buds of pregnant women can be). The grand tally for what ended up being 4 people (two simply did not show, even though I had already paid for their food and drinks) was just shy of $700.00. I assumed the mommy–to–be would have a nice time….I was wrong.
The day of, was a barrage of complaints. Her husband dropped her off and she wanted to know why we were in the quiet side of town as opposed to the party area, although I sent her the extensive menu of things to choose from for our prix fix menu, all of a sudden she did not like the selection. When she finally made a choice, she complained that the portions were too small. She did not like the band. The music was too loud. The waiter irritated her. She wanted to know why the other guests did not show up. She didn’t like her gifts. At the end of an exasperating dinner, when her husband came back to pick her up, she complained that she just wanted to go home and do something fun. She gave a halfhearted “thanks guys” and drove off. I never received a Thank you card.
Needless to say, that friendship is over.
That the mother-to-be hosted her own shower was the writing on the wall that the OP either didn’t see or didn’t take seriously. There is a saying among horse people that the horse that kills you has warned you first. We should have a similar saying such as, “The Gimme Pig that eats you out of house and home while urping with ingratitude has warned you first.” Looking for suggestions, readers.
Lisa sure is one unhappy person to be that miserable about other people’s generosity.