Flushing Away Those Little Etiquette Dilemmas

by admin on August 31, 2011

Today was just horribly weird. It involves me, my co-worker “S” and another girl “M”. lately my co-worker “S” and I have been noticing that there seems to be an appalling lack of bathroom etiquette lately; specifically, our co-worker “M” has recently started having ten minute conversations on her cell phone IN THE STALL.

We normally ignore her and quietly go about our business, but today was a BAD DAY for me. I rushed in the bathroom during a break in a long meeting and threw myself into a stall, and froze like a deer in the headlights when I suddenly heard her phone ring. She answered it. She started jabbering away, while I desperately tried to be…erm… ladylike. I was dying. I didn’t want to “disturb her conversation” but for all that is holy why on earth are people talking on their cell phones in the bathroom? Do you know where you are?! How are you not embarrassed about sitting on a toilet talking in the bathroom to your friend/husband/vendor? Really? Does he think that strange echo is feedback? Is the flushing sounds your new ringtone? WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE!

*deep breath.

As I am sitting there, trying to convince my colon that it wasn’t being punked by Asthon Kutcher and that the bad lady wouldn’t notice a thing (because she is talking too loud and is too self absorbed) my friend “S” comes in the restroom. She suddenly exclaims, “OP, are you still in here? The break is over and they are waiting for you.”  I felt the blood drain from my face, and stammered something incoherent. At this point, “M” starts talking again to the person on the phone louder because apparently “S” is making too much noise. “S” laughed when she realized why I was frozen to the seat and then walked into the stall next to me and starts flushing the toilet over and over again. This finally had an effect on “M”, who suddenly goes, “Sorry it got loud in here, let me call you back”.  She then proceeds to burst out of the bathroom stall and fled the bathroom. “S” cracks up and then tells me, “I will tell them you will be a few more minutes,” and leaves the bathroom. I sat there stunned for a minute, and then was finally able to get back to the meeting.

All through the meeting I couldn’t look at “S” in the face. We were somewhat hysterical all day, and avoided each other until our shift was over. As I was walking out to my car “M” approaches me in the parking lot and goes, “I just think you should know, your friend “S” is the rudest woman I have ever met,” and she flounced off to her car.

Maybe. Or maybe she is a Genius.    0826-11

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