My fiance and I have been together for a long time. We have had to keep postponing our wedding plans for many different reasons ranging from financial, legal, to employment situations over the years. Finally we get a chance to set a date and move forward with our wedding plans. I pick a date, a location, and Maid-of-honor (my sister) . I am thinking, “Great! Now I have someone who will cheerfully help me with everything. ” (WRONG!) I never knew how selfish my sister was til now. And talk about lazy! I am less than one month away from my wedding day, and have little accomplished.In the beginning my MOH seemed excited about the wedding, and was eager to help. This I found out later was her “all talk no show” routine. During the entire time my fiance and I had started the planning, she has made ONE trip to my house to help make preparations. She lives less than an hour away, has no responsibilities, no job, no kids, no school or classes. She has all the time in the world to do whatever she likes. All I ask is one or two days out of the month to help me out. I even let her pick her own dress, which I offered to pay for, as long as it was in a shade of purple. Any shade. (She got my mother to buy her one, in black, and went without me when she knew I was at work)
I have asked her to help make a song list about 3 months ago, so far nothing. I asked her to call around for a DJ…..nothing. I asked her to help me pick out invitations, she was too busy. I had to outsource on those and ended up getting screwed. My Dj backed out at the last minute and I can’t get her to help me find another one.I asked her if she would help out with the reception. I am doing a buffet style cocktail/appetizer reception. She showed her distaste saying she didn’t want to serve food, drinks or clean up in her new (black) dress. Said she would be bored, and wanted to spend the evening with her bf/new fiance.
I asked her if she would mind then, keeping and eye on the guest book/ gift table. She declined that too, because she didn’t want to sit alone at the gift table babysitting them. She wanted to participate in the festivities.
I am now less than 4 weeks away from the wedding, and I am on the verge of tears. My sister/MOH almost refuses to help with anything. She will not help with the flowers, decorations, favors, or even help with the bridal shower or bachelorette party. Every time I call to ask her for help, she is wishy-washy and flaky. My fiance is a doll. He went and recruited some lady friends to help me. I have a friend who has volunteered to host the bridal/bachelorette party at her house.
Oh, and to top it off, my sister got engaged a month before our upcoming wedding. So now on top of being absent from her MOH duties, she is “too busy” planning her own wedding to help with mine. Again I have less than 4 weeks til my big day.I asked if she could come over a few days before the wedding to help out with last minute things that may come up. She doesn’t want spend that many days away from home.
My MOH has declined many other invites because she was scouting out locations for her lavish themed wedding. She couldn’t help me this week with my decorations because she was shopping for her decorations. She even declined coming out this weekend to check out the new landscaping at our venue.The time that she did come out, she was 2 hours late, and still had to get dressed and do her make-up before we could go shopping, Then when we got back she stayed on the computer the rest of the night until her fiance came to pick her up.To make my planning even more hectic, about 2 months ago, my fiance was in a serious accident and is currently in a wheelchair. My MOH is not the least bit sympathetic. At all. 10-06-08
Everything I have done by myself. From the menu to the music to the rentals and decorations.
Maid of Horror #3
You were one month away from your wedding and had “nothing accomplished”? Just what exactly were you expecting your sister/MOH to actually do, plan the whole wedding? That is your job, first and foremost. Of all the wedding attendants, it seems that there is a much greater expectation placed on Maids of Honor to be wedding planning assistants, the bride’s right hand man, the gofer who does it all. I believe this is unrealistic to expect on people’s time. You are the bride, you plan your wedding in such a way as to not place expectations on others to do all sorts of volunteer, free labor.