Can’t Miss This One

by admin on September 29, 2011

Trot on over to Hell’s Bells to read one of the worst wedding etiquette stories ever seen on this site.  Jaw dropping.

 

 

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Michelle September 30, 2011 at 12:53 am

Just terrible. What ever the reason for certain family members being asked to leave, there is no excuse for the grandmother’s behavior. What she did was cruel, selfish an very immature. I am sure that every other guest there who witnessed this event would probably understand why they were not invited.

I feel sorry for the bride and groom and hope that they can focus on the wonderful moments of their wedding day and live a happy life without these horrible people.

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Tad September 30, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Team Grandma! If the mother and brother were told not to come if they don’t cough up money and if Grandma assumed the matter would be resolved and it was not, I applaud her for not allowing that kind of nonsense within her family. As matriarch, it is not only her right but her responsibility to stand up for the good of her family and it seems she did so. She invited her family to not condone the grooms boorish behavior and it seems they agreed. I also do not feel the least bit bad for the bride who I have very little doubt could have stopped the uninviting and went along with the plan.

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CLS September 30, 2011 at 10:59 pm

No, Tad… Grandma was out of line.

Are you part of the family perhaps?

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sally October 5, 2011 at 5:22 pm

My feeling is that her children & grandkids probably follow grandma’s poor example and that is why the groom is such a tool in the first place.
What a horrible family.

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Wink-n-Smile October 11, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Take the groom to task for being a gimme pig? Yes.

Walk out on the wedding? No. By walking out on the wedding you are basically saying that you do not approve of, nor recognize, the match.

If she felt she had to make it public, in order to make an example so that none of her other grandchildren would do the same thing, she could have expressed her herself better. First, express a joyfoul welcoming of the bride and her family into the blending of this new clan. Second, express your sadness that the mother and grandson were not there to join in the blessed occassion. Then, a brief explanation that a public wedding, such as this, is a family affair, the joining of two families, and that the day is not all about the bride and groom, but about the family, as a whole. If a bride and groom want to make it all about themselves, they may do so at the city hall, with only the legally required officiant and two witnesses – usually clerks at the hall. She may say that as matriarch for her clan, she feels saddened that one of her grandchildren put greed above family harmony, and she wants to make it clear to all of them that she does not, nor ever will condone such action, and if any other grandchildren ban family members from a family occasion, because they would not give in to financial demands, that she will discipline them, as she disciplines this grandchild, as is her right and responsibility as family matriarch. She should then give the groom five minutes to get his mother and brother back into the bosom of their family, or she’ll bend him over her knee and spank him for the selfish child that he is.

Then she smile beatifically at the bride, welcome her once more, and tell her that if her grandson ever mistreats her, to tell dear old granny, and she’ll give the boy what for. Then sit down and witness the wedding.

Still not proper ettiquette, per se, but better than the mass walk-out. And it works the “little old lady”/”matriarch” angle much better, too. People would think her eccentric and embarrassing, but not heinous. And all the other grandchildren are *warned*.

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Wink-n-Smile October 11, 2011 at 12:23 pm

I’m saying my previous comment slightly tongue-in-cheek, although I do think it is fair to 1) give the bride fair warning of the family dynamic she is joining and 2) insist on proper behavior from all one’s progeny.

If the groom had cause to boot the mother and the brother, then the mother and the brother need to make amends. *Everyone,* however, should attend the wedding and smile till their faces crack. The argument, itself, will be forgotten soon enough. The missed familial presence at the wedding will be regretted for years.

A good heart-to-heart with the groom (in which the same sentiments of my previous post are included) should be done, in private, as early as possible before the wedding. At that heart-to-heart, if the groom insists that mother and brother should not be in attendance, the question needs to be asked – does he fear physical violence from them? Does he fear his wife will have a post-traumatic stress melt-down from witnessing the presence of two people who injured her? No? Then family should be there, and they should all behave themselves and smile for the public, the camera, and for the families. It’s one day. They have the rest of their lifetimes to argue.

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