Just a little back story before we start. My friend *Lily was one of the first people I knew out of college that owned a house. She and her boyfriend lived in the house, but also rented a room out to her boyfriend’s friend, Tim. Tim had a girlfriend, and we’ll call her Tina. Tina had no job, and consistently did little or nothing to contribute to any of the house hold expenses and was in general, annoying. Not to mention she would parade around the house in a string bikini, and believe me, you did not want to see that. I digress…
So in a few months of knowing this lovely girl, Tim tells us Tina is pregnant. “Oh Joy” Lily and I think. Fast forward to about 3 months before the baby is due, and we get a verbal invite to her baby shower. When Lily and I arrive, we are asked what we would like to drink. We at first both say “Iced Tea” but then the host tells us she has “Sangria” which is a wine concoction. So, knowing that we might need a bit of booze to get through this baby shower we agree. The host(Future Grandma) of the party writes down what we had to drink, and Lily and I just shrug it off.
As we settle down we notice that about half of the guests are having a form of alcoholic beverage. I’m not talking just beer and wine, I’m talking hard liquor. Half way through the shower most of the guests are sufficiently buzzed. We were a bit concerned for the guests over the age of 70, who we could not tell if they had mild dementia or were drunk. The host and all of her friends were doing shots of Jagermeister at the kitchen table, while Tina lamented that she could not participate. We then notice that there really isn’t a lot of food, just small deli sandwiches and a veggie tray.
Then the party games start. Most of them were normal, with the toilet paper around the belly and what not, but then the host and Tina start handing out colored sippy cups. Inside the sippy cups was whatever you ordered when you first arrived. Lily and I just stare at each other and look down at our sippy cup. The host announces “Whoever can chug the fastest wins this gift basket!” Our eyes wide, Lily and I contemplate how we are supposed to “chug” sangria. Too late, the game has already started! Bottoms up! Needless to say after that little game we were not going to be driving home anytime soon.
We weren’t expecting nice afternoon tea, but playing drinking games at a baby shower is just a little too trashy even for most alcohol friendly college girls.
Hope baby knows Grandma is a Booze Hound. 0812-10
Bottoms Up Baby Shower
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