When I was in college, the student union would have fundraiser about once or twice a month. Usually they would have a table set up outside the cafeteria and would be selling something. One day I was heading into the cafeteria for lunch, and one of the fundraisers asked me, “Hey, wanna buy a samosa?” I hate samosas, so I said, “No thanks.” But they kept hounding me, saying things like, “Are you sure you don’t want one?” “They’re really good!” “They only cost $2!” yadda yadda yadda. I again said, “No thank you, I don’t want any,” and continued into the cafeteria.
A few minutes later, I left the cafeteria to go buy a drink from the pop machine, which happened to be located behind the fundraising table. One of the fundraisers then protested, “Hey, no fair! She has money!” As if having money means I was obligated to buy something I didn’t want. I’d had enough, and spun around and snapped, “I never said I didn’t have money. I said that I didn’t want any.” Nobody from that table bugged me again after that. 0212-10
Assumptions about one’s finances or presumed wealth are best just ignored. You have no obligation to explain to total strangers why you declined to purchase whatever it is they are selling nor are you obligated to reveal anything about your financial status. Ignoring them would have been the cruelest response as it deflates any idea that their selling tactics are effective.
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I don’t think the OP did anything incorrect in her response; she wasn’t giving a lesson of any kind, she was correcting both a misstatement and an assumption. She *didn’t* say she had no money (as one of the fundraisers seemed to believe), she had said, “No, thank you, I don’t want any,” and she repeated that that was what she had said. She had, in fact, been both civil and factually correct throughout the entire interaction (even if she was getting a little fed up with it by the end [despite not eating any samosas]).
Ann, I disagree; I don’t think OP’s donating $2 to her student union and not taking a samosa would have been “an elegant solution”. It might have been one for you (if you were so moved); or it might have been one for the OP, if it had been for a cause in which she believed and for which she could spare the $2; but in this instance, OP had stated, clearly, concisely, politely and repeatedly, that she wasn’t interested. She communicated with complete clarity AND with respect, and corrected a misstatement which she was alleged to have made.
If more people were able to express themselves so clearly, yet politely, then we’d all have fewer Etiquette Hell horror stories.
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