I met my husband online about 12 years ago. We had been chatting for nearly two years (and had met face-to-face once) before he moved from the midwest to the West Coast in order to pursue a relationship with me.
I had been friends with “Angie” since college. “Angie” was rather an eccentric individual, very introverted (militantly so, if that makes any sense; she has since diagnosed herself as adult Asperger’s). I mention this only because by my understanding individuals diagnosed with Asperger’s experience social awkwardness.
In an attempt to introduce my husband to one of my old friends after he arrived, we invited her over for dinner. Future hubby fixed a great dinner and we all sat around the table visiting for a couple of hours.
Hubby is a big wrestling fan and there was an event on that night he had been looking forward to for weeks. He politely excused himself from the table and went into the den to watch his program, leaving “Angie” and I to chat over our coffee.
A few minutes later, “Angie” got up and headed for the den; I followed. We sat in there for a few minutes until “Angie” initiated the strangest conversation I’d ever heard. Her opening comment? “Isn’t it funny how men always watch the most VIOLENT programs?”
It wasn’t just the one comment. “Angie” continued her running anti-male commentary for a good half an hour. Hubby was really befuddled about just WHERE this was coming from as he hadn’t said or done anything to provoke any contentious comments. I was beyond befuddled and heading into LIVID.
“Angie” left after an hour or so, but to this day, she hasn’t been invited back and we rarely speak. Last time she called, she wanted us to get together with her and her new hubby for dinner one night, but thus far that hasn’t happened.
I don’t know if we handled it right by simply gritting our teeth and not throwing here out by the nape of the neck. It would have done no good to throw a fit really. But it does hurt me that he was treated that way by a person he had gone out of his way to prepare a good meal for and try to get to know her better. DID we do the right thing or should we have reacted a bit more directly? 1112-11
I’d chalk up Angie’s commentary as nervous blather that was not intended to directly insult your husband. I’ve known many people who, once the tongue has engaged, cannot turn off the blither blather that issues from their mouth when they feel intimidated or nervous. Give her another chance before writing her off completely. And be proactive in changing the topic so that she is not allowed an open platform to keep blathering. That is the kind thing to do.