I received this via Facebook messaging from a couple we’ve had little to no contact with for a few years:
We hope this letter finds you well. As you may already know, we packed the births of our 3 children into only 3 and-a-half years; yes we are crazy – and a bit fond of each other! God has blessed us with a wonderful family, a home filled with love, laughter, NOISE and one empty seat at the dinner table.
We intend to fill that empty seat by adding one more little girl to our brood through adoption. Why pile on to our loud, crazy home?
There are a few reasons…God calls us to “look after, care for, speak up for, defend, and ensure justice…for orphans, widows, those in distress; all who are destitute, defenseless, being crushed, poor, needy, helpless.” James 1:27, Proverbs 31:8-9
Prior to ever being married, both of us had the desire to adopt a child some day; now is the time to fulfill this longing. We consider it a privilege to participate in something so special and invite (beg?) you to assist us in bringing a little girl into our home. She will show up in the traditional way – screaming, messy, cord cutting. However, she won’t come with health insurance to cover the cost of delivery! This is downright expensive and we’d appreciate any financial support and prayers you’d be willing to offer.
Thanks for being a part of this incredible experience.
Am I reading this right? “Hi – we want to have another baby, and we’d like you to help pay for it.” What they want to do is admirable, but I feel asking us (and other Facebook friends) to help finance it crossed the line. 1208-11
It’s one thing to tell your family of your wishes and desires to adopt more children so they can rally together to pool resources to make it happen. But when you cast the net farther to include acquaintances, that has crossed the line into public begging.
I have an issue with people using God as the excuse or the author of their begging as this adds a “spiritual gravitas” (God is on *my* side) element to it that has the appearance of manipulation. I have an even bigger issue with people claiming to be doing God’s bidding and then blaming Him when there are negative consequences to their actions. I am delighted that someone can feel led to obey his/her conscience or follow what they feel is God’s calling but it’s their path to travel, not everyone else’s. If one truly believes God has told you to adopt children, He will provide the means for you to do that without becoming a public beggar and that “means” may be that you have to scrimp, save and become a frugalista for several years to save the necessary money. If you want something bad enough, you’ll figure out a way to earn it yourself without relying on others to make your dreams come true.
And this leads the inevitable question of, “If they cannot afford to bring the baby into the world, how will they afford to care for it over the years?” If they do not have the discipline now to save for the future adoption of a child, what evidence is there that they will save for the child’s future needs once he/she is a family member?