I received the following message on Facebook yesterday from someone I know:
Sponsors by XXXXX on Friday, XXXXX 9, 2012 at 2:16pm · For those of you included in this note, you either are family or are a cherished extention to our immediate family and consider you a part of it already. You all know that Michelle’s Quinceanera is next Saturday, XXXXXX 17. If I have not spoken with you personally, I would like you to consider being a sponsor for the event. This requires you to donate what you want towards a certain part of the evenings events. Recognition includes your name on the program as a sponsor. We want everyone to feel as though you had a part in making this a grand celebration for all family and friends that attend. Things you can donate towards include: The rental of the community center, Food, DJ, Pictures, and Decorations The sooner I know if you are interested, the sooner I can finish making the programs. Please let me know if you have any questions or are intrested. Love, XXXXX and XXXXX XXXXX
This is AFTER I received a note that it is also their son’s 17th birthday, and that he likes Xbox games and cash. 0310-12
I know there are some who will argue that sponsoring weddings and Quineaneras (a 15th birthday party common in Mexico for girls) is culturally expected as a system to involve family and friends in major milestones in a family’s children’s lives. However, the Ehell perspective is that one should never, ever have to solicit funds from people allegedly closest to you. If you have to ask, you are begging and there is nothing culturally positive about being a panhandler.
Etiquette Hell’s Rules of Money:
Rule 1: No one owes you their money. You should never have an expectation that you are somehow deserving or owed someone else’s money. You want a big, blow out celebration then work for it, save for it, budget what you can afford and depend on no one to pull off an event that exceeds your financial resources. Relational proximity is not a requirement that people must share their congealed sweat (money) with you.
Rule 2: Soliciting sponsors, asking for money, web sites asking for money or any of the other creative ways people try to extract money from others is politely referred to on Ehell as “pulling”. A person “pulls” money from others instead of others taking the initiative to “push” money on you. If you have to “pull” to get money, you are a beggar. If the only way family will give you money is for you to beg for it, consider the possibility that you may have been played for a fool by someone who prefers to see you humiliated into begging before doling out the cash. Grow up, stiffen your spine and refuse the role of beggar as beneath your dignity.
Rule 3: People who love you will know the need for money and take the initiative to “push” money on you. The key word here is “INITIATIVE”. If more people were spontaneously generous perhaps this would stifle the trend for people to go begging. I’ve never understood why relatives and close friends of a soon-to-be 15 year old girl do not take the initiative to give money as sponsors of her Quinceanera if having sponsors is culturally expected. In my culture, we are always finding ways to push money on the younger generation when they truly need it. This grandma would be the first in line to pony up sponsorship money for a granddaughter’s big milestones in life, assuming her parents had not raised her to be expecting that grandmom owed her. But then, maybe that ingrained expectation that “family owes me” may be why some people are compelled to go begging when generous wallets have shriveled from the repeated onslaughts.