I have a bit of a dilemma. I received an invitation from a coworker in my work mailbox. The envelope was handwritten with my name, “Please no gifts!” and “The party will be right after the Banquet for Team X” (One of our teams had won an award for a project, so the higher-ups are throwing a banquet the whole department is attending on Saturday.)
Baby Boy’s Birthday Party
Local Bowling Alley
$9.95 per person
Includes: pizza, drink & shoes
I generally don’t hold with charging for a party – but it is at a bowling alley. Is that a reasonable amount (I have not been bowling in ages)? The last time I threw a bowling alley party (ages ago) I paid for the shoes, lanes, and 3 games up front, and bought pizza and soda as people got hungry. Perhaps bowling is now too expensive? It’s unclear where the money is going – are they buying all the refreshments, and we just pay for a lane and shoes? Do they collect all the money themselves? What if the bill was less than anticipated? I don’t see us eating much pizza after a full banquet meal.
And making this RIGHT after the work banquet makes it harder for someone to decline without raising an issue, since it’s a Saturday and we will all be there anyway. I can’t tell if they are being convenient or are actually being rude. My instinct is not to go, since I find a door charge for a party rude, but my husband thinks this is reasonable.
I hope you or the commentators can clear this up a little for me. Thanks! 0402-12
I reread this a few times and it appears the work related banquet is NOT at the bowling alley but merely scheduled earlier in the same day as the bowling party.
My opinion on these types of parties is that they really are not parties but rather opportunities to go do some activity at each “guest’s” expense. Invitees aren’t really guests as they are being required to pay for the party and their own food. There is nothing indicative of a gracious host/hostess when guests are required to fund the entire party as a requirement of accepting the invitation and attending. If the recipient of such an invitation really isn’t in the mood to go bowling, decline the invitation. If one chooses to decline the invitation, do so without explaining to the host/hostess what the reason is.
Scheduling a bowling party on the same day as a work banquet really sets up the hostess for failure since that is a lot to ask people to spend a day off attending a banquet and then a bowling party and she may have expectations of a larger number of people accepting than is reality. I just hope she’s not too disappointed with the turn out.