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No Cupcakes For You!

It’s a cupcakey/macarony day on Ehell and Hell’s Bells today!

Not long ago, I was at 3rd birthday party for a child, held at the family’s house. Most of the guests were children with their parents, along with a few childless friends and relatives of the hosts. There were probably around three dozen guests total.

The birthday cake was one of those “cupcake cakes” where there are a number of cupcakes arranged together and frosted as a cake. The birthday boy blew out the candles and his mother began to hand out cupcakes to the children. After all the children were served cupcakes there were about 4 or 5 left. There were at least 10 adults hovering, hoping to get a cupcake but being polite and not wanting to take one when there were clearly not enough for everyone.

The hostess noticed this, looked around the room and announced, “There are 24 cupcakes. I don’t know how many people are here, but there are 24 cupcakes. That’s all.” Then, she picked one up and started to eat it in front of all her guests who had been served nothing.

I quietly left the room, dumbfounded.

She clearly knew how many people she invited and how many RSVPd (there was an Evite). Furthermore, the cake wasn’t served until two hours into the party, during which time she could have sent her husband three blocks away to the grocery store to get an additional cake when she realized that she under-ordered.  0406-12

Hosts/hostesses should be like the captain of the ship.   When the party food is sinking, she is the last to dive into the refreshments.  She was a poor hostess for eating food in front of her guests that she knew was in limited supply.   Even polite guests are expected to not take the very last morsel of food but even more so for hosts!  Were I a guest, I’d offer to share half a cupcake with another deprived guest.


Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Kitty Lizard April 10, 2012, 8:31 am

    All right. The hostess gets condemned to the lowest level of e-hell for the crime of not only taking one
    of the few remaining cupcakes, but for the mortal sin of eating it in front of her guests. If you know the
    exact number of guests, it’s not that hard, especially with cupcakes, to order a half dozen or so more,
    singly, so that everyone can have one. To e-hell with the hostess, and I hope she has an especially bad

  • Mary April 10, 2012, 8:41 am

    Our rule is “Family Hold Back!”. If it appears we are running low on food when company is over, (and there is no way to go run and get more), all family members know that we are the last ones to help ourselves to food and the guests go first!

  • Huh April 10, 2012, 8:55 am

    First of all, those cupcakes look delicious!

    It’s probably just me, but any time I accompany one of my kids to another child’s birthday party, I don’t take a piece of cake unless I’m offered one, figuring I’m not the guest, my child is. And considering my kids are usually too excited by the festivities to eat more than a bite or two of cake/pizza/whatever is being served, I just end up eating whatever is left of theirs. The same thing goes for when I’ve had to take an uninvited sibling to a party (single mom with no babysitter) – I pay their way in and they are told they are not to eat the food unless offered by the host, and even then, just a small portion.

    I have told my kids when at a party, you are to take one piece of pizza/cake/whatever and not to get seconds until you make sure everyone is served and at a function where there is servings to take small portions, but I have seen other kids (and adults!) grabbing two slices of pizza when its apparent there isn’t enough to go around and have had to explain, yes, I know they did that, but that’s not polite.

  • hannabanna April 10, 2012, 9:02 am

    Is it possible that a number of people showed up who did NOT rsvp? If so, how can the captain be responsible to feed all those people that she didn’t know would come?

    My way of dealing with this is to always assume people are not going to rsvp. I have thrown any number of parties when people showed up that I did not know were coming. I’ve told the story here before that I once invited a church group over, 8 rsvp’d, I cooked for about 12–then 18 showed up. So now when I host a party for 24, I plan for 24, even though the actual rsvp number is lower–in fact, I plan for more tha 24 because people are known to bring their own friends & dates without asking!!

    Maybe eating the cupcake in front of everyone was her way of saying –most of you did not rsvp and I had no way to know to get food for you?? (tacky for sure, but there you have it.)

    That said, why do people go to such extravagant lengths for such a young child’s birthday party? Admin –is there a “acceptable” child’s age where big parties become okay? Like when the child can really participate in it (6,7,8?)–or are these still events where parents are wanting lots of presents for their tiny tykes? Sure, I’m all for celebrating life events–but for little toddlers, shouldn’t parties still be family affairs? I’m not talking personal opinion here, I’m asking if there is an etiquette rule on party ages??

  • Saucygirl April 10, 2012, 9:47 am

    Recently it seems like every birthday party I have gone to has not had enough food. Normally I also quietly leave the room, amazed by the poor planning. However at one party for a three year old, held at a pizza place, the hosts were the first people to eat, despite there clearly not being enough food. I was so annoyed that half the kids did not even have one slice (and no adults save for the hosts had anything) that I went up to them and informed that that they needed to order more pizzas so everyone else could eat too. As everyone on here always says, if you can’t afford the party, don’t throw it.

  • LovleAnjel April 10, 2012, 10:02 am

    Wow. To announce that you do not have enough for everyone, then to eat one of the few cupcakes before anyone else had a chance? That’s really rude. Good on the OP for just quietly walking away.

    Also, it’s generally a good idea to order a few more than you need, just in case (and, leftovers!). I wonder if there was a specific design the child picked out, that only came with 24 cupcakes…and the hostess didn’t bother to supplement with separate cupcakes.

  • Library Diva April 10, 2012, 10:06 am

    What a terrible, greedy hostess. When people are invited to a birthday party, the absolute minimum they expect is some kind of refreshment. I’m sure all of the guests showed up with a present for the birthday boy. They gave up a sunny Saturday afternoon, and parted with some of their hard-earned money to help celebrate her kid’s birthday, and she can’t even have a cupcake for them? And to further insult her guests, grabs one of the few cupcakes left when she presumably had her entire pantry at her disposal? How rude!

    OP didn’t say whether she is a relative, childless friend, or parent of a child that was invited, but if I were her, I’d think twice before accepting another invitation from this ‘hostess’ anytime soon.

  • Cat April 10, 2012, 10:07 am

    Were I a guest, I’d show up at the next party with a couple of dozen cupcakes, just in case.
    In this instance, if she had not known beforehand that there were too few cupcakes for everyone to receive one, she might have said, “I am so sorry, but I seem to have miscounted the cupcakes. Let me get a knife and I’ll cut the remaining cakes in half so we can all have a taste.” She should not have taken even a half of a cupcake if there were too few for every guest to have one.
    My aunt once asked me why I had put an expensive and ornate set of fixtures in my guest bath, but used standard plain ones in the master bath. I explained that a guest in my home receives the best of what I have. I’m sorry that this hostess didn’t feel that way.

  • Lucy April 10, 2012, 10:19 am

    Dude, now I want a cupcake! I am so ordering dessert on my dinner date tonight.

    I don’t think of myself as a very savvy hostess or an exceptionally polite person in general, but even I could get this one right. What the heck are people thinking?

  • Hemi April 10, 2012, 10:22 am

    Totally agree with OP- should have sent husband to the grocery store to pick up additonal cupcakes, cake, cookies, something to serve to the adults or let husband take over hosting duty while she ran to the store.
    Rude, rude, rude. What has come over people these days???

  • badkitty April 10, 2012, 10:28 am

    I was trying really *really* hard to believe that there had been some uninvited and unexpected guests taxing the poor put-upon hostess, and that this was the explanation (no excuse can be made, but understanding may still be found for such a reaction) for her otherwise inconceivably rude behavior. Then I read this:
    “Furthermore, the cake wasn’t served until two hours into the party, during which time she could have sent her husband three blocks away to the grocery store to get an additional cake when she realized that she under-ordered. ”
    and promptly lost any lingering hope that the hostess was actually a kind, decent person. She clearly ordered a cake based on design and didn’t bother to consider how many it would serve; nor does she care whether her adult guests must go without, because the children are happy (herself included) and that’s all that matters, right?

  • Carol April 10, 2012, 10:49 am

    Another reason to dislike those ‘cupcake cake’ things. At least with a regular cake you can slice the pieces more thinly if you need to spread it further.

    I think its odd, too, that the hostess would make that announcement without any sort of apology to follow. AND eat a cupcake. Sheesh. I’ll bet the 3 year old had better manners.

  • Precarious Armada April 10, 2012, 10:58 am

    A half, a third, or even a quarter of a cupcake for each (adult) guest is what I’d expect in this situation. The hostess eating one of the cupcakes right in front of the guests? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Not even setting an example by cutting it in half/thirds to share.

  • Calli Arcale April 10, 2012, 11:07 am

    Wow! Okay, in that situation, I’d either find some sort of emergency dessert (such as Admin’s fine suggestion of having one’s other half run down to the grocery story, or breaking out the ice cream, or, absolute last resort, breaking into my personal chocolate stash), or start cutting the remaining cupcakes down; dividing four among ten would be challenging but not impossible. With five, it’d be easy — just cut each in half. I wouldn’t have any dessert whatsoever unless all of my guests had been offered one. Worst case scenario, I’d make up a story about a second tray having been tragically dropped or sat upon* and explain that since there aren’t enough to go around, we decided to give them only to the children — and then pull out some cheese and crackers or something for the grownups or even start offering adult beverages to the grown-ups as a consolation.

    *Anything* other than “up to you ten to figure it out; I’m having this one.” Wow!

    *Some might blame a screwed up bakery order, but I hesitate at that; someone might avoid using that bakery as a result of the fictitious poor service, and that’s not at all fair. They shouldn’t suffer for my lack of foresight.

  • Shoegal April 10, 2012, 11:10 am

    When I throw a party it is always my belief to have more than enough of any refreshment I am serving. I not only have enough for everyone to have at least one – but also more than one if they wish. This irritates my husband because we sometimes have a lot of food left over. I want everyone to have full and plenty and be well satisfied. It is true that if you don’t have enough everyone will be afraid to take the food – and there will be leftovers. I saw a party where the hosts ordered 2 large pizzas for dinner – it was obviously not enough for everyone there. Some people ate 1 piece and others martyred themselves and didn’t touch it all. In my book, this is a bad party. Most everyone left hungry.

    To have ordered a cupcake cake that only served 24 knowing that there were more than 24 people coming was wrong. Even worse was to pick up the cupcake and start eating in front of her guests. Admin is right – the hostess should sacrafice her portion for her guests. I would have also been highly apologetic about the short supply of cupcakes and would have been very embarrassed.

    Sometimes, however, mistakes and circumstances do happen and the food runs out – this I can forgive but she should have never eaten that cupcake!!!

  • Stacey Frith-Smith April 10, 2012, 11:14 am

    I don’t understand the whole concept of having insufficient refreshments on hand for a group. As OP said, a host or hostess must have at least a general idea of how many are expected to attend. It’s not necessary to have lots of expensive food or alcohol, but the provisions should match the group expected. In the case of a party for children with accompanying adults, some refreshments are in order for all. And don’t even get me started on “two hours into the party”. A guest is due at least some light refreshment on arrival and reasonable provisions for the remainder of the visit. I don’t think the hostess in this story will be afflicted with an overabundance of guests on many more occasions, if this behavior is the norm for her.

  • June April 10, 2012, 11:22 am

    Just because you’re hosting three-year-olds doesn’t mean you get to act like one! Play nice and share!

  • Cat Whisperer April 10, 2012, 11:34 am

    For the hostess to leave some of her guests to go without refreshments while she eats in front of them is just unbelievably crass and rude. What was she thinking? Was she thinking?

  • baby April 10, 2012, 11:38 am

    Ok, this bothers me to no end. My dad is always shocked at how much we spend on our children’s birthdays (which really isn’t much; about $200 for 8 kids plus around 30 adults, including decorations, food, drink, cake, activities, favors and the gift we give our child). My kids are 4 and 2, so for the most part their parties have really still been “for us”, as much as they are for them (like the first birthday party. Baby doesn’t care what’s going on, nevertheless, it is a big deal for the parents). So my dad says that when hosting a child’s party, you provide refreshments only for the children invited. This is regardless of the fact that several child-less family members (grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.), as well as close family friends are also invited.
    Sure, when my kids are 8 and 10 their parties are at some kind of price-per-person place, like bowling or laser tag, then we’ll have a separate family dinner, and only their friends will be invited to the event. If their parents want to stay, they can purchase their own tickets. But when I’m hosting my young child’s birthday party in my home, I plan to accommodate my children’s guests, their parents, and all our relatives and friends.

  • ladycrim April 10, 2012, 11:45 am

    Good lord. I’d have been mortified if I were the hostess and there weren’t enough desserts to go around. Better to have too much than not enough!

    Also, now I want a cupcake.

  • Justine April 10, 2012, 12:09 pm

    Wow, that was rude. Not only could she have served the 4 -5 left to the guests FIRST, she could have also apologized and ran out for more right that minute. Or checked her pantry for other desserts (i.e. cookies, etc.) and apologized for the different dessert, but serve dessert nonetheless.

  • Miss Raven April 10, 2012, 1:19 pm

    What boggles me about this story is the complete lack of any sense of shame on the part of the hostess. I understand how stressful parties can be. Mistakes are made, food mis-measured, guests mis-counted. Mistakes are forgivable. If she were me, I would have been burning red and apologizing profusely while I cut those cupcakes in half and opened a bottle of wine. We’re 20-somethings, still just starting out, and not wealthy, but no guest ever leaves our home hungry.

    I’m having serious trouble wrapping my head around the hostess clearly understanding the mistake, and essentially shrugging it off with, “You’re on your own.” I can’t… I can’t… seriously, can someone get me an Advil or something? This is giving me a headache.

    (And really, were none of her family members present? If my mom or aunts saw me acting like this, I would never hear the end of it. Ever.)

  • --Lia April 10, 2012, 1:20 pm

    She never heard of a knife? When it was obvious that there weren’t enough to go around, she could just as easily have said “oh dear, there aren’t quite enough. I’ll have to start cutting these in half.” I can’t imagine anyone would have minded.

  • Jennifer April 10, 2012, 1:26 pm

    I used a cupcake tower for my daughter’s birthday and it also held only 12 cupcakes. I had 30 guests of all ages so I filled the tower and then had a plate with more than enough cupcakes (I put out 3 dozen). Not that hard to do really.

  • JeanFromBNA April 10, 2012, 1:34 pm

    Cat Whisperer April 10, 2012 at 11:34 am

    For the hostess to leave some of her guests to go without refreshments while she eats in front of them is just unbelievably crass and rude. What was she thinking? Was she thinking

    Cat Whisperer: She was thinking of herself, which is all too common.

  • Xtina April 10, 2012, 2:16 pm

    I would be really embarrassed if I were hosting a party where I had not gotten enough of SOME kind of food to offer all of my guests (even if it were not the planned party food, then even crackers from the pantry would be better than nothing!)–but for this hostess to even go so far as to announce there isn’t enough and then proceed to take a whole serving for herself when the guests don’t have enough to go around and are watching her eat–that’s unbelievably rude. You always serve your guests first, even if it means you, as host, go without. But if she was a good host, she would have planned ahead and bought enough food for her party, whether people RSVP’ed properly or not. I always overbuy food just in case.

  • German Shepherd April 10, 2012, 2:33 pm

    Good grief – the hostess knew how many guests were coming, but she still didn’t get enough cupcakes? And then she had the nerve to eat a cupcake in front of everyone? That just really takes the cake.

  • Em Leigh April 10, 2012, 2:48 pm

    I went to a party at 7:00 or so and they did not feed us dinner. One small plate of veggies, not enough for everyone, and two plates of cookies. And that was it. My friend, the hostess, got hungry and when inside to make herself some food and then sat in front of us and ate it. She told me, when I told her I was hungry that there was no food for me. So I left.

  • Gloria Shiner April 10, 2012, 2:59 pm

    Was this my SIL? She once invited me over (to her house) at noon. She asked if I wanted to have lunch there. When I said yes – silly me! – she said I would have to bring it as she had no food in the house.

  • Enna April 10, 2012, 3:35 pm

    @ Huh, if you go along with your child you are a guest – okay you may be going along to help watch your child but you should still have some refreshment, the host should provide.

    @ Hannabanna- I think that is rude when peope didn’t RSPV. If a guest turns up who hasnot RSPV’d I would be more than happy to say “I receiveed no RSPV from you, thought you weren’t coming, going to have to get some more food now.” Or if I could, they woudl go without cake. That maybe rude but if someone is rude not to RSPV then it’s their fault for not doing so in the first place. ALthough it is an idea to make a bit more.

    This party was weird. The hostess should’ve gone out and got more cake or should have made more. Why eat the cake? Should cut it up into halves.

  • CH April 10, 2012, 3:43 pm

    I always way overdo on cooking/food for parties mainly so I can relax and not have to cook the next day. So I am pretty sure this would never happen to me and if it did, you can be certain I would not be eating and making my guests go without. Someone said the three-year-old probably had better manners but how could the child when being raised by this woman!

  • Sarah Jane April 10, 2012, 4:06 pm

    Echo what baby said. When my son was young, his parties almost always had 100% attendance because no one wanted to miss out. The parents enjoyed it as much as the kids because we always had an abundance of quality food and people left with their tummies full. Sometimes we’d even offer more adult-friendly desserts like cobbler in addition to the cake, but there was always enough of everything for everybody.

    Someone else made a good point about having a regular cake vs. cupcakes. It’s easier to make cake go farther.

  • Angel April 10, 2012, 4:12 pm

    This story kind of makes me laugh. If it had been one of my friends, I would have said, “You’re not seriously going to eat that cupcake in front of me are you? You are? OK then, who wants cupcakes–going on a cupcake run!” If it was a person who is just a parent of one of my child’s friends, I would have probably done the same thing as the OP. And I don’t think I would have my kid play over there anymore–although I wouldn’t have a problem with them still being friends. How awkward is that? I can see if she was kidding around or something–like, just kidding, hubby can you do a cupcake run and get more for the parents. But if she was being serious and didn’t have any intention of sharing–that would pretty much indicate that I will not be attending these parties anymore.

  • LonelyHound April 10, 2012, 4:16 pm

    @Hannabanna- Yes, it is very rude for guests who did not RSVP to show up. If there were guests like that there then shame on them. However, the cupcakes were not served until 2 hour into the party. That is plenty of time to realize that you are short on food a decreetly send the hubby to the store. That would have been the polite thing for the hostess to do.

    Having worked in a restaurant that catered I learned when throwing a party you plan for 1.5 times the number of people (i.e. if you are inviting 20 people plan on feeding 30). This makes it less likely you will run out of food and can cover unexpected guests. We one catered a wedding where the mother of the bride ordered appetizers in addition to a BBQ we were doing. We tried to convince her to order 450 shrimp (or a number near that) to give three shrimp to each of her 150 guests. She refused and only ordered 150 shrimp- one for each guest! You guessed it! In the middle of our dinner slam we got a frantic called from the coordinator to bring more appetizers as only a quarter of the guests were served and the food was gone. Yes, it is expensive and inconvient to plan that much food for your guests but it ensures you never run out.

  • Jay April 10, 2012, 4:27 pm

    @hannabanna: “Is it possible that a number of people showed up who did NOT rsvp?”

    It’s a kid’s party.. Even if the right number of children show up, you have no idea how many parents will be around at cake time.

  • alkira6 April 10, 2012, 4:41 pm

    Oh dear. I under ordered once – it was based on the number of people who had actually RSVPed – and was ashamed to have to order pizza to cover it up. To kick back and bogart the remaining food at your own party with no regard to guests that you (presumably) invited is beyond words. Wonder how many people who’ll show up next year?

  • kingsrings April 10, 2012, 5:11 pm

    I do feel that if adults are going to be present at a child’s birthday party, then food should be made available for them as well as the children. Have a separate food table for the adults. A lot of my parent friends do it that way. The parents are your guests, too!! And I concur with Angel, I would of called out a friend if they were brazen enough to do something as rude as that in front of everyone. Not yelled, insulted, or anything, but asked something along the lines of, “And where’s ours??”.

    If you’re having a party, you’ve always gotta plan for enough food, chairs, toilet paper, etc. And always go overboard in case of the unexpected, like extra people coming.

  • Echo April 10, 2012, 5:44 pm

    hannabanna said, “That said, why do people go to such extravagant lengths for such a young child’s birthday party? Admin –is there a “acceptable” child’s age where big parties become okay? Like when the child can really participate in it (6,7,8?)–or are these still events where parents are wanting lots of presents for their tiny tykes? Sure, I’m all for celebrating life events–but for little toddlers, shouldn’t parties still be family affairs? I’m not talking personal opinion here, I’m asking if there is an etiquette rule on party ages??”

    I hope there’s no etiquette rule on party ages and I sincerely hope that my friends don’t think I’m gift grabbing for inviting them to my son’s first birthday. It’s a no win situation – your motives are questioned if you invite them, but if you don’t you’ll hear, “But I wanted to be there for the little one’s first party!”

    The situation in the OP is rude, but I find it a little ungracious to suggest that one should limit their guests to family only because of some belief that ‘big parties’ are tacky. If you’re a generous host, what’s the problem?

  • MidoriBird April 10, 2012, 8:49 pm

    I have very often overheard people expressing disgust at a bigger person who approaches the food at any gathering, no matter how much or how little food there is or how much or how little that person actually eats. I’ve heard it so much that it’s been years since I willingly ate food at any gathering, no matter how hungry I was. I’m not exactly skinny. When there’s cake or goodies available at work, no matter where, I never, EVER touch it! The only (extremely rare) exceptions have been when a coworker has offered me something she has personally baked and to me, it’s ruder to refuse. (Unless it is a doughnut or cake…food allergies here.) Normally I’m not a big junk food eater.

    I also recall an instance a few years ago where I was invited to a family’s holiday gathering. A baby was pushed into my hands to mind (this very frequently happens….I have mild Asperger’s and I’d rather entertain one cute baby than deal with a crowd; at least I’m good with small babies to an extent) and the host family, when the food was served, dug in first and with gusto. The few unrelated guests, like myself and my mother (at the time….she is married to a member of the hosts’ extended family now), wound up with just a few crackers and cheese slices apiece, as there ended up not being enough food to go around. Nobody would take the baby so I could try, and she and I are too polite to speak up about any discomforts or rudeness. On the way home I asked my mother to swing us through a drive-thru so we could get something to eat, an idea she willingly went with for once.

  • Zhoen April 10, 2012, 8:49 pm

    Over at Cake Wrecks, there is great opprobrium heaped on CCCs (Cup Cake Cakes) due to aesthetic reasons. This sharing problem is even worse.

    What a selfish, greedy, idiot. I feel sorry for her poor child, who will have a hard time learning to share.

  • Cammie April 10, 2012, 10:06 pm

    I have only one response to this;

    “Oh, Hostess, I’m so sorry! Why didn’t you say something before now? You didn’t need to announce you couldn’t afford to throw your child a birthday party like this, you must be so embarrassed.”

  • MonkeysMommy April 10, 2012, 10:10 pm

    To be fair, where Im from, cupcakes and cakes are served to the children. It there are extras, they may be offered, but we don’t typically plan for feeding the adults at the children’s party- the children are technically the guests. Most adults decline when they are offered refreshments anyway. She was definitely rude to eat in front of you though. She should’ve put the rest away for later, out of sight of the hungry guests who were watching.

  • Kate April 11, 2012, 1:03 am

    @LonelyHound, you are entirely correct! I’m planning my wedding at the moment and planned on a cocktail reception, but I was a bit nervous about making sure my guests all had enough to eat. The first venue I visited attempted to talk me out of it by saying “everyone will leave hungry and have an awful time”. The second venue said “don’t worry, we always cater for 1.5 times the number of guests, we have never had a complaint about lack of food in ten years”. Guess which venue I went with!

  • jess April 11, 2012, 2:19 am

    LonelyHound April 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    @Hannabanna- Yes, it is very rude for guests who did not RSVP to show up. If there were guests like that there then shame on them. However, the cupcakes were not served until 2 hour into the party. That is plenty of time to realize that you are short on food a decreetly send the hubby to the store. That would have been the polite thing for the hostess to do.

    If she has a hubby, if she was doing it all on her own and had guests that did not RSVP and was short on money (had to budget to afford the party so saved up the required amount for food) which is the situation with a lot of my friends, I can understand how she would be peeved. It wasnt a polit thing to do but in the case I mentioned I CAN understand.

  • SV April 11, 2012, 6:20 am

    A young child’s birthday party is the one time I feel it is okay to “tier” the guests – I always have snacks for the kids as well as an offering of more grown up food for the adults (not surprisingly, not all adults enjoy sharing dip/trays/cookies with other people’s children.) However, in our society the cake is the crowning moment in a party and I can’t imagine not having enough for everyone! If you cannot afford it then you have invited too many people. Period.

  • Politrix April 11, 2012, 10:24 am

    I think her husband WAS in attendance… at the end of the story the OP says, “the cake wasn’t served until two hours into the party, during which time she could have sent her husband three blocks away to the grocery store…” so I think he was there.
    However, the OP also says that the hostess said, “I don’t know how many people are here,” so I’m taking that as a not-too-subtle hint that a lot of the people in attendance showed up either unannounced, uninvited, or didn’t RSVP (or RSVP’d “no” and then changed their minds without informing the hostess.) She was probably acting out at her guests to passive aggressively express her anger… while I agree it was rude of her to do what she did (retaliatory rudeness usually backfires, and rarely teaches a lesson to the people it was intended towards) … I’m willing to bet there was an unpleasant backstory that the OP and some of the other guests were unaware of.

  • Enna April 11, 2012, 11:17 am

    I think with children’s parties the parents should specify if they are going or not e.g. a parent “tick box”. That way the host know show many people are actually coming.

  • Smart Mom April 11, 2012, 1:01 pm

    She should have realized before she started serving the cupcakes that the numbers didn’t add up. I wouldn’t have thought ill of her if she had said, “Oh, dear, it seems I’m a few short on the cupcakes! Let’s cut some of them in half…” Small children and adults on diets like me could choose to eat a half and everyone would be satisfied. So sad that some guests went without while I’m sure many of the children licked off the frosting and threw the rest away.

  • Barb April 11, 2012, 1:06 pm

    I would be REALLY, REALLY MAD if I missed out on a cuppycake.

  • Miss Raven April 11, 2012, 1:35 pm

    I’m confused by the posts saying that at a kid’s birthday party, only the children are guests. If that were true, why would Chuck E. Cheese even offer pitchers of beer? For the little ones who like to get rowdy??

    I can’t remember the last time I was at a young kid’s party that didn’t have at least the same number of adults in attendance. Childless friends and relatives (myself, usually) and parents of the kid-guests are almost always in attendance. Just because the activities are for kids doesn’t mean you don’t have to feed the grown-ups.

    For older kids, I can understand parents dropping off and disappearing. After a certain age in my family, we start splitting up – the party is for older kids, and we have dinner another time with the family. But as for any adults in attendance, even the aunts/uncles of the birthday child or invited parents of their friends, it’s your duty as the host to make sure they’re also taken care of.

    I just don’t get it. The way I was raised, guests don’t leave hungry. They just don’t. It’s up to you whether you order enough cake, punch, and pizza for the adults or offer them wine and finger foods. But you have to do SOMETHING! How is this even a discussion??

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