Food Boundaries

by admin on September 26, 2012

A good friend recently came to my town and I invited her to stay with me for the week she would be here, I was excited as I hadn’t seen this friend in about 2 years. When she gets here I drive to pick her up from the airport and the first thing she says to me is, “Did you know I’ve become a vegetarian?” I am shocked but I tell her that we can stop at a local grocery store to pick up some vegetarian food products for her. She seems grateful, picks out her choices, I pay and we leave.

That night we get back to my house and I put on some dinner for us both, her vegetarian hamburgers and regular ones for me. During the cooking time we have a glass of wine and catch up, she seems a little upset about something.  I ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. I brush it off thinking it was homesickness. Then once we are eating our meals she looks more and more distressed. I ask her again what is wrong and she says that watching someone eat meat is upsetting her because a poor cow was tortured for it. I apologise and finish up my meal in another room.

The day I get home from work and she has made plans to go out for a couple of drinks with mutual friends that night, I agree and put on dinner again… vegetarian for her and non vegetarian for me.  When she offers to watch dinner while I jump in the shower and get ready, I accept. When I am dressed I come out to find her eating her dinner and my dinner nowhere to be seen. I check the microwave, the oven, the fridge, she finally realizes what I am doing and says she discarded my dinner because it was upsetting her. I am shocked so I sit down to a quick meal of instant pasta.

The next day I get home from work to find while I was at work she has put all the meat from my fridge and anything that was non vegetarian sitting in a bag next to the trash bin. I question her about this and her response is, ” You are an inhuman monster, I can’t believe you would eat another living creature. I can’t sleep at night because I think you are going to creep into my bedroom and eat me considering you don’t mind torturing innocent animals for your own selfish happiness.”

I was completely shocked but I managed to compose myself enough to say, “While I have enjoyed the pleasure of your company, I think you would be more comfortable at a hotel.” She then had the nerve to yell at me and call me a bad friend, packed up the rest of the vegetarian food we had and left.

Boundaries.  Boundaries are good.  Boundaries keep us from meddling in things we have no business meddling in.  Like someone else’s pantry and refrigerator.

What made it that little bit worse was that it was a week before my parent’s wedding anniversary and I had all sorts of frozen things in the freezer which she had thrown out.. I had to replace it all.. 0906-12

{ 146 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathryn September 26, 2012 at 4:43 am

I wonder if she’s only recently become a vegetarian and so hasn’t gotten used to dealing with meat eaters tactfully and respectfully.

The way she treats your house and your things with such complete disregard, while expecting you to treat her beliefs with respect is bewildering. Also, it made me quite angry. Good thing I wasn’t dealing with her! Loved your response OP!

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Miriam September 26, 2012 at 5:12 am

OP – you poor thing!
I’m vegetarian, and I wouldn’t dream of doing this! That’s appalling, and misguided if she was trying to “convert” you to her cause. And taking the rest of the food you had purchased was rubbing salt in the wounds (whether or not you would choose to eat it, you paid for it!).
Please just know that not all vegetarians are so judgemental, insensitive and self-centred. This one just wants food that hasn’t been cooked in lard/meat ‘juice’, and is happy to proved her own. I feel as though I need to apologise on behalf of all vegetarians that you have been treated this way.
I hope the Wedding Anniversary went well…

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Margo September 26, 2012 at 5:18 am

Wow. I am gobsmacked that anyone would think it was acceptable to throw away someone else’s food, under any circumstances. To my mind, that is no different to her stealing it. I would have told her she was going to have to pay for my property which she destoyed. (Meat isn’t cheap!)

Had it been me, I would have been absolutely furious, and I think this would be the end of the friendship. If it bothered her that much, the appropriate course of action would have been for her to move to an hotel, after the first night.

I also think she was very inconsiderate not to have told OP when the invitation was issued, that she had become a strict vegetarian, and if her position is so extreme that she can’t stay in a house where there is meat in the fridge, then she should have said that too, and given the OP the opportunity to explain then that that wasn’t possible, and to arrange to meet up for drinks ratehr than a full visit.

I have never had any of my vegetarian friends make any comments even close to this. In fact, the only time it has ever come up is when I’ve been eating out with veggie friends and I have asked them whether it would bother them if I order (say) the steak (not because I feel they get to chose what I eat, but because they are my friends, and if I can easily avoid doing something which will distress them, I will.) On every occasion that I have asked, the response has always been ‘as long as you are not asking me/us to eat it, it’s nothing to do with us’.

In OPs position I would probably have cooked something vegetarian which we could both eat, (not least because cooking one meal is easier than cooking two, and I often cook meatless meals anyway) but OP wasn’t under any obligation to do that and the visitor was totally out of line. If you don;t liek the hospitality on offer, you go elsewhere.

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lkb September 26, 2012 at 5:26 am

Bravo to the OP for being as civil as can be under the circumstances. Don’t think I would have said it as politely.

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ferretrick September 26, 2012 at 5:29 am

Send her a bill for the wasted food. Although I do have to wonder, if it was in a plastic bag next to the trash bag, why you simply couldn’t have put it back?

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Lily September 26, 2012 at 5:29 am

How DARE she!
What a waste of food and money when there are people going hungry all over the world.
Bill her.

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Fiammetta September 26, 2012 at 5:30 am

Gross. I apologise for my kind. I’ve been vegetarian my whole life, and what I learned from it was humility. You can’t be a perfect vegetarian. Any number of your choice you make, or don’t make, affects the quality of life of humans and animals. The main thing is trying to live a life worthy of that sacrifice, trying to improve things for humans and animals alike pro-actively rather than solely trying to minimise the damage. In throwing out the meat, it meant more meat had to be bought, so, her actions cost life needlessly. Likewise by being a tool, which makes all vegetarians seem like tools.

Jonathan Safran Foer said diet should not be a war, that it is unrealistic to expect half of US people to be vegetarians in ten years, but not half the meals in the US, which would have the same effect, and also reduce heart disease, cholesterol, obesity etc. It shouldn’t be about some misguided sense of moral superiority, it’s about personal choices that are right for you. And not being a tool about it.

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Just call me J September 26, 2012 at 5:32 am

I would have told her to get a hotel after she threw out the dinner on night #2. That’s not acceptable behavior in an adult, especially because she tried to hide it by not saying anything. Did she honestly think OP wouldn’t notice or care?

Getting nauseated at the smell of meat is unfortunate, but it’s not unusual for some of the vegans/vegetarians I know, which is part of the reason why I have a couple of non-meat dishes in my standard repertoire. (Also, veggie-based dishes are cheaper to make a lot of the time.)

However, seriously accusing your host of desiring cannibalism because they ate a hamburger is a *very* extreme, offensive, and delusional idea. Ditto for trashing all the food. I applaud your self-control, OP.

As to the “poor tortured animals” argument, Kosher and Halal certified meat-animals are required to be slaughtered quickly and humanely. You can also find humanely-raised meat from small local farms. Yes, the animal is still killed for food in the end, but they’ve a decent quality of life before that happens. Admittedly, the price-tag is a bit higher and availability is limited by geography, so it might not be an option depending on where OP lives. (I’ve had this “discussion” with militant vegans before.)

If you ever run into a non-meat-eater who mentions their dietary habits immediately upon meeting you, tell them you’re an omnivore. (or as I like to joke “an omNOMNOMivore”)

Their reaction (especially if they try to tell you you’re really a carnivore) will let you know if they’re the type of vegan/vegetarian that you should avoid.

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coralreef September 26, 2012 at 5:32 am

O.o That is so crossing over boundaries, it’s not even in the same solar system anymore. Good for OP to let this “guest” know that she would be better in a hotel. I mean, who does something like this? Throwing away food you don’t approve of at someone else’s house?

There are things I do not eat, but I’ll never dream of forbidding anyone from eating them. Case in point: liver. Can’t stand the smell, the texture, the taste or even the look of it. My ex loved the stuff. Hey, as long as I don’t have to cook it or clean the frying pan, you can have as much as you and the kids want. I’ll keep the disgusting raw steak tartare to myself.

It’s the overly militant/unyielding vegetarians that make all the others seems like rabid salad devotees. The friend may have been a recent convert, because of the overly intolerant attitude. I have vegetarian friends and I’ve never encountered anything like this, even when we go somewhere that has a shared plate meal.

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Green123 September 26, 2012 at 6:20 am

WOW. It’s not often I’m lost for words but this one has left me speechless. I’ll try to make a proper comment later but for now all I can say is ‘OP, you did well to escape this very, VERY special snowflake, and I hope you send her the bill for the spoiled food you had to replace’.

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kiki September 26, 2012 at 6:20 am

WOW!!! I am a vegetarian and she is the kind of vegetarian that gives us a bad name! I am flabbergasted. I think part of being a vegetarian is being compassionate and understanding to our fellow beings, animal or human. She needs to get a grip on reality. I would send her a bill for the food she threw out.

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secretrebel September 26, 2012 at 6:26 am

I am a vegetarian and it’s people like your (hopefully ex) friend who give us a bad name. I promise we’re not all evangelicals with no sense of boundaries. Most of us will respect your food choices as you have done ours.

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Athersgeo September 26, 2012 at 6:32 am

Great googly moogly! Who the in the name of fried toast DOES this?!!

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jen a. September 26, 2012 at 6:32 am

OP, you handled that like a pro. Good job for kicking her out! What frustrates me about this story (other than the fact you weren’t reimbursed for your food) is that she was acting as if meat-eating was a rare an exotic practice.

I have a few vegetarian family members. Growing up we often celebrated Christmas vegetarian-style, and it was fun. That being said, my family always took responsibility for their own diet. If they were going to with a friend for a few days you can bet they would have bought their own food and been gracious about what others were eating.

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Ripple September 26, 2012 at 6:39 am

If she was going to be that upset about you eating a non-vegetarian menu, she should have said something when she agreed to stay at your house. To hit you with this at the last minute and then be furious that you would continue to eat your normal meals is just super rude. She should have paid for the items she threw out.

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Melissa September 26, 2012 at 6:42 am

I’d be sending her a bill for all that food I had to replace. And the vegetarian food, too.

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Serena September 26, 2012 at 6:45 am

I really don’t understand what it is about food…I went through a period of about 10 years where I was a strict vegetarian (even now I’m not too terribly keen on eating meat, but okay). I never once shoved my vegetarian ideals down anyone else’s throat and I can’t recall any of my vegetarian friends doing so either. But I have seen it in action. We’re all free to decide what sort of diet suits us best and to follow it–we are not, however, free to attempt to dictate our “food beliefs” for lack of a better term onto the rest of the world. I actually had the same trouble with an aunt of mine when I was a vegetarian. I was taking care of her son who had cerebral palsy and I would cook whatever he wanted for dinner, then make my choices of what I wanted to eat. On the days she was there, I would hear, “(Sigh) I just don’t understand why you can’t eat just one piece of chicken,” and things of that sort. The final straw came one night when she cooked dinner and made turnip greens, which she knows I love. I got finished eating dinner and she asked if I enjoyed them. When I responded in the affirmative, she smirked at me and said, “I put bacon fat in them.” Come on! Is food really such a fundamental source of contention that it’s necessary to resort to such passive aggressive–and, in your case, neurotic-bordering-on-psychotic–behavior over it? The mind boggles.

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Carol September 26, 2012 at 6:47 am

I’m continually astounded by people like that. I have to hope that they really are few and far between and they only seem rampant because I read the stories on the internet.

I have a friend who is a total vegan – won’t eat honey, etc, and she is that way because she believes the whole ‘meat is murder’ thing. She has never once berated me for eating what I want to eat when we are together beause she is a classy young woman. At 20 years old it could almost be undertstandable for her to be militant about it, but she respects other people as she expects them to respect her. It works.

Good for you, by the way, for doing the ‘polite spine’ thing. Other stories I’ve seen end with the hostess bending over backwards to make her guest happy.

Oh and people like that I think are less concerned with animal rights and more concerned about being the centre of attention. It’s less ‘save the piggies’ and more ‘LOOK AT ME I’M SPECIAL AND CARING!’

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Bint September 26, 2012 at 6:47 am

If she feels that strongly, she shouldn’t stay in a meat-eater’s house and she should *definitely* have told you beforehand. Rude, rude, rude on every level, going into totally irrational behaviour by the end. Well done for kicking her out!

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Mary September 26, 2012 at 6:49 am

Wow. Just wow. I don’t even think I can respond! Who goes into someone else’s fridge and throws out food? Hope she doesn’t have a shared fridge at work!

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jena rogers September 26, 2012 at 6:49 am

Speechless… So sorry you not only had such a wretched house guest, but that your generosity was exploited. (If I were in your house guest’s situation, I’d have paid for my own groceries to begin with.) Good grief. What a nutcase.

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The Elf September 26, 2012 at 6:56 am

This is the kind of vegetarian/vegan that gives the rest of you a bad name! I don’t eat meat very often, so I choose vegetarian meals more often than not. I understand that it is sometimes difficult to find a meal without meat, especially when dining at another’s home. So many people see meat as the cornerstone of every meal!

But however an individual decides to limit their diet, or why, that limitation is on them. If someone is that sensitive about meat being eaten, they need to avoid getting together with meat-eaters around food. It is completely out of line to throw out another’s meal and clean out their cupboards/fridge just to accomodate your food needs. And in their house no less!

I think after the “inhuman monster” comment, I would have asked her to stay elsewhere.

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Iris September 26, 2012 at 7:05 am

Show her this

http://youtu.be/63NNuG-6-hQ

Warning: May offend some (particularly cat lovers)

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Airelenaren September 26, 2012 at 7:07 am

I don’t mean to excuse the guest’s bad behavior, she was beyond rude!
But I have to say that I wonder why the op let it come that far. I concider myself a good host and I do understand acommodating a guest, but if a so-called friend belittled me in my own home for the food I eat, I would have a few words to say about that. If a guest threw away my dinner, not to talk about stored food, they would no longer be a guest, and I’m pretty sure I’d make them pay for the things they wasted, too. With friends like that, you don’t need enemies. :/

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Sazerac September 26, 2012 at 7:18 am

I have to concur with many of the posters here, this vegetarian is the kind that precipitates certain other non-vegetarians to be defensive and pre-emptive in their comments against them. Thankfully, very few that I know are actually like this klutz.

I remember years ago my wife and I hosted an young Buddhist woman from France who was on a cross-country bicycle tour, eventually to wind up at a monastery in California. We gave her a place to stay for the night and fixed her a meal. Because I knew her particular beliefs meant not eating meat, I prepared her portion (stir-fry) and removed it before adding meat to ours. She was utterly grateful and expressed that others she had encountered had not been anywhere near as accommodating as we had been. She was a lovely and interesting young woman and I hope to this day that she is doing well, wherever she may be.

If only your “friend”, OP, had been as gracious.

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Lilya September 26, 2012 at 7:41 am

You know, I’m starting to think there are people in the world who join a cause – any cause – not because they actually care, but because it will give them the Moral High Ground, which in their mind is a sort of license to do anything they want as long as it is “for the cause.”

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Jenny September 26, 2012 at 7:48 am

Wow, I have to admit, I’ve heard about people like this, but I’ve never met them in person. I have a friend who is vegan, and while I make sure I provide food that he can eat (it’s not that hard, when he comes over I make fajitas, have a separate pan for veggies and just don’t put sour cream in the guac). He totally doesn’t mind that we’re eating beef or chicken with him.

This lady isn’t a vegetarian so much as she is a control freak.

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Abby September 26, 2012 at 7:54 am

What a ridiculous person. I know several people who are vegetarians, and they are the annoying kind who would throw red paint on fur and prattle on endlessly about the horrors animals are subjected to, and even they would take a step back and say, wow, chick needs to regulate her meds.

If you want any sort of consolation, she made herself look ridiculous. Also, when you get on your high horse about things like that, it’s a pretty risky endeavor. Does this friend make sure to avoid all animal products, and any products that test on animals? I’m sure you could find many examples of her hypocrisy if you paid attention.

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starstruck September 26, 2012 at 7:55 am

wow. nut job alert!! did she really think you would eat her? honestly she is the scary one in this scenario. i dont even have to say who was the rude one in this story. my vegetarian friends have never been rude to me like that. and frankly if someone threw all the food in my house away i wouldnt let them leave until they paid me for it

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Jane September 26, 2012 at 8:01 am

Wow. I have vegetarian and vegan friends, but none of them have ever had a problem with me eating meat! Goodness!

I would have also asked her to stay elsewhere after the first instance of throwing out your dinner.

I really wonder how she makes it in the real world if she treats friends like this.

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FunkyMunky September 26, 2012 at 8:07 am

Having a belief system (being it food, religious or otherwise) is exactly like having genitalia. It’s fine that you have them, fine to be proud of them, but don’t flash them in public or shove them in anyone’s face.

OP, your reaction was much more civil than mine would have been in the same circumstances. Well done.

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Jones September 26, 2012 at 8:17 am

Been there, done that, got the Tshirt…though ex roomie didn’t straight out accuse me of cannibalism, and I wasn’t very polite about kicking her out. I am sorry you went through this OP.

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Lita September 26, 2012 at 8:30 am

Good grief! How does anyone even DO something like that? OP, I’m impressed with how well you handled it!

And now I wonder how that girl survives if she’s convinced meat-eaters are going to eat HER.

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Justin September 26, 2012 at 8:43 am

I follow basically the same rule as Margo, if I am out with vegetarian friends for the first time I will ask if it bothers them if I order meat, I do it as a courtesy. I have yet to be told they would prefer I eat vegetarian. The only time my ‘choice’ has been limited was when I was a guest in a vegetarian friends home, she does not stock meat and we had a lovely meal.

Respect is a two way street. If you want to have your beliefs respected you have to respect others in exchange. I would say that purchasing food that a guest can eat is about the right spot for civility and respect. I had a cookout over the summer and a friend on a begetarian diet brought veggie burgers as I was doing simple burgers and dogs, the only question I had for her was cooking instructions.

As a final observation, my experience been that the people who are most militant in their beliefs also tend to be the least secure in their beliefs. That is why they resist and avoid any opposing beliefs that can challenge their viewpoint.

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Teapot September 26, 2012 at 8:44 am

My jaw literally just hit the floor! I agree with Just Call Me J, she sould have been out on the curb when she threw away your food the first time. I can’t believe you could bring yourself to actually say that you had ‘enjoyed the pleasure’ of her company. How could the non-meal time you spent with her have been comfortable with her superior attitude?

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Cerys September 26, 2012 at 8:49 am

I have to wonder what she did when other guests in the hotel ate meat. Went critical in the dining room? Raided the kitchens and dispose of any meat products? You know, I kind of hope she did. Then she might get the professional help she evidently needs.

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Shawn September 26, 2012 at 8:58 am

If she had done that to me, she would be thrown out on her ear and sent a bill for the ruined food. Not to mention the end of the friendship.

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JWH September 26, 2012 at 9:00 am

Don’t rescind the invitation. Let guest stay for one more night. But in the middle of the night, tuck a napkin into your collar lobster-bib style, then go stand over your guest with a fork in one hand and a knife in the other. Wake her up ….

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Serena September 26, 2012 at 9:01 am

FunkyMunky, I love your analogy. Very well said!

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alex September 26, 2012 at 9:01 am

that is truly appalling! I understand not everyone is going to agree with other’s choices but that is no reason for her to throw ALL your stuff out. And I honestly cannot believe you paid for the vegetarian food at the grocery store, as I would have made her pay for it. I mean, her logic is completely flawed. Does she go to any restaurants or only places that are strictly vegetarian? I highly doubt it. What a complete wacko.

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Rod September 26, 2012 at 9:11 am

I… would not have been that civil, I’m afraid to admit. I was not raised in poverty, but my dad was and he abhorred the waste of food. When we were eating, we were allowed to order/put as much food on our plate as we deemed reasonable, but woe if you left anything in it (unless it was bad). This still sticks with me and I rarely leave food on my plate.

I am an omnivore and my wife was a vegetarian for a long time (she now eats some fish). Her arguments are environmental so as long as there are sustainable alternatives she’ll eat seafood but not other meats. We deal with it – it really is not hard, unless the other party is trying to make it an argument.

Reminds me of some friends that stayed in a very religious’ friends apartment. They brought some non-sanctioned food and prepared it. When the hosts found out, they replaced the utensils, plates, pots, and even some counter tops. Ouch. This is why you talk about these things beforehand.

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Hemi September 26, 2012 at 9:12 am

I agree with all the other comments- she is rude and borderline pyscho. If she would throw out a friend’s food, I wonder what she does at work if someone eats meat in front of her? Being rude to coworkers and throwing out their food would get her fired!

I hope you fired her as a friend!

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b-rock September 26, 2012 at 9:14 am

well, she’s a crazy-pants, and there’s nothing i can add from an etiquette standpoint to what others have said. i’m a carnivore, i’m very respectful of my friends and family members who are not, and i expect them to be respectful of me as well. period.
but does she not realize that by throwing out all of your meat, she has now put you into the position of buying more meat, and therefore is responsible for killing even more animals? it’s not as though by no longer having meat in your house you will suddenly see things her way and convert to vegetarianism…

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Psyche September 26, 2012 at 9:19 am

OP-Out of curiousity, why hadn’t you seen her in two years? Was there a reason for this? Or was she kind of a nut and you thought after a couple of years, hey, maybe she’s changed?

I had a female friend like this when I went to daycare all throuout elementary school. Nobody wanted to be friends with her, so I took pity on her and befriended her. Big mistake. Pro tip: if there’s a person that nobody wants to friends with, there’s a reason. In her case, it was she was incredibly clingly and possibly mentally unstable.

When I left the daycare to go off to middle school, I lost track of her and moved on. Then in high school I was talking to a girlfriend on the phone and I mused over what happened to that girl. The BFF happened to know her and gave me her number. We had a few sleepovers and outings with her mother, enough to make me realize, let’s just say, that things hadn’t changed one bit. She kept calling me until she finally got the hint and stopped. As for the BFF who gave me the number? I later realized she wasn’t a nice person, and cut all ties with her (long story). Giving the number of Daycare Friend to me was a harbinger of things to come

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Olivia September 26, 2012 at 9:26 am

This girl seems like she’s suffering from much more than just a case of being a rude guest. She sounds paranoid and delusional. It would have just been rude to be offended that someone was eating meat in front of you when you are a vegan/vegetarian. But the whole “I’m afraid you are going to eat me in the night” thing is just plain CRAZY. I’m glad the OP asked her to leave sooner than later.

My husband and I are omnivores but are eating less meat these days because it’s expensive. A close friend of ours is trying to be a vegan (dairy is her weakness) but can get a little self righteous at times. She likes to make things with meat substitutes but not tell us before we eat it. Then after we eat it and proclaim that the dish was good, she gets all giddy and reveals that it wasn’t real “meat” in the dish. She takes a lot of pleasure in “fooling” us but A) we already knew it wasn’t real meat and B) we don’t care. You wouldn’t catch me tryng to pass off a dish as being vegetarian when it isn’t so why some vegetarians feel the need to do so is beyond me.

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Yarnspinner September 26, 2012 at 9:28 am

Evil Yarnspinner cannot resist: “Oh, Friend, don’t worry. I could never eat YOU!!! You are so full of *bleep* it would ruin the taste no matter how much I marinated you.”

Good grief. I think of myself as a vergetarian–I do eat meat, but many of my meals are based around plants and grains. But when I want a burger, it would never occur to me that my veggie friends (or any of my friends) would be any sort of substitute. Yuch. This person isn’t in it for the cause, she’s in it for the control. And I am willing to bet that before she became a vegetarian, she found other (less intrusive) ways to be offended.

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girl_with_all_the_yarn September 26, 2012 at 9:39 am

There are two kinds of vegetarians in the world: vegetarians who just happen to be vegetarians and you wouldn’t know until they told you, or “oh crap” vegetarians as in “Oh crap they’re coming! Nobody make eye contact! Please don’t let them sit by me!”

Sounds like your friend has entered the realms of the latter.

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Just Laura September 26, 2012 at 9:40 am

So she feels that instead of consuming the meat, throwing it out and effectively wasting it is less inhumane and disrespectful to the animal?

Her lack of logic astounds me, and makes me grateful I don’t know anyone like her.

And yes, I usually stick with vegetarian menu options.

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A September 26, 2012 at 9:53 am

There are certain kinds of meat that I cannot eat due to medical issues. If it is going to be an issue, I bring my own. I have been truly amazed and thankful when friends of mine have specifically provided a cooked meal for me separate from the rest of the guests. I really have some amazing friends.

The part of this story that really gets me is the waste. Due to my meat issues, getting meat that I can eat can be a difficult process. I usually get it about once a year in bulk and it has to last, so I really have a problem with waste. In this instance, she took the sacrifice that those animals made and wasted it. She did nothing to improve their situations or her own!

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AMC September 26, 2012 at 10:00 am

And this is why vegetarianism gets such a bad wrap. I have been vegetarian for the past five years and absolutely do not expect others to change their eating habits just because I have. It’s unreasonable to expect others to conform and live by your personal values. Really, it just gauls me when other vegans and vegetarians act judgey of meat-eaters. It’s none of their business what other people eat, and it gives the rest of us a bad name! Your “friend” was completely out of line to walk into your house, accept your hospitality, and then proceed to discard your own food, which you bought and prepared for yourself. The nerve! You were right to ask her to leave. And you would have also been in the right to ask her to pay for the food she threw out, though I doubt she would have given you a dime. Lord help her, she’s going to have a tough time making her way through the world if she acts like that everytime someone has a ham sandwich in front of her.

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