Food Boundaries

by admin on September 26, 2012

A good friend recently came to my town and I invited her to stay with me for the week she would be here, I was excited as I hadn’t seen this friend in about 2 years. When she gets here I drive to pick her up from the airport and the first thing she says to me is, “Did you know I’ve become a vegetarian?” I am shocked but I tell her that we can stop at a local grocery store to pick up some vegetarian food products for her. She seems grateful, picks out her choices, I pay and we leave.

That night we get back to my house and I put on some dinner for us both, her vegetarian hamburgers and regular ones for me. During the cooking time we have a glass of wine and catch up, she seems a little upset about something.  I ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. I brush it off thinking it was homesickness. Then once we are eating our meals she looks more and more distressed. I ask her again what is wrong and she says that watching someone eat meat is upsetting her because a poor cow was tortured for it. I apologise and finish up my meal in another room.

The day I get home from work and she has made plans to go out for a couple of drinks with mutual friends that night, I agree and put on dinner again… vegetarian for her and non vegetarian for me.  When she offers to watch dinner while I jump in the shower and get ready, I accept. When I am dressed I come out to find her eating her dinner and my dinner nowhere to be seen. I check the microwave, the oven, the fridge, she finally realizes what I am doing and says she discarded my dinner because it was upsetting her. I am shocked so I sit down to a quick meal of instant pasta.

The next day I get home from work to find while I was at work she has put all the meat from my fridge and anything that was non vegetarian sitting in a bag next to the trash bin. I question her about this and her response is, ” You are an inhuman monster, I can’t believe you would eat another living creature. I can’t sleep at night because I think you are going to creep into my bedroom and eat me considering you don’t mind torturing innocent animals for your own selfish happiness.”

I was completely shocked but I managed to compose myself enough to say, “While I have enjoyed the pleasure of your company, I think you would be more comfortable at a hotel.” She then had the nerve to yell at me and call me a bad friend, packed up the rest of the vegetarian food we had and left.

Boundaries.  Boundaries are good.  Boundaries keep us from meddling in things we have no business meddling in.  Like someone else’s pantry and refrigerator.

What made it that little bit worse was that it was a week before my parent’s wedding anniversary and I had all sorts of frozen things in the freezer which she had thrown out.. I had to replace it all.. 0906-12

{ 146 comments… read them below or add one }

L.J. September 26, 2012 at 10:00 am

Good for the LW for standing up for herself and asking the “friend” to leave. If it wasn’t vegetarianism, the friend would have found some other way to feel morally superior to others and try to control their actions. I agree that she should have paid for the groceries she threw out.

Reply

Wendy September 26, 2012 at 10:02 am

I’m with everyone who said you should bill her. A nice, itemized list of everything she threw out, with notations for what you had for your parent’s anniversary. And then a note that says you’re sorry to lose her friendship over this.

Reply

clairedelune September 26, 2012 at 10:03 am

@ferretrick–if the meat had been sitting out at room temperature for several hours, she probably didn’t want to chance it.

Reply

JustSara September 26, 2012 at 10:10 am

To the poster who asked why the OP didn’t just put the food back if it was bagged by the garbage, I assume it was out for to long to be safely rescued. It’s not worth your health to consume meat that had been improperly handled.

OP, I would have tried to over look the one meal being thrown out too. The others are right, that should have been the end of it but at the time I would have been so shocked that I wouldn’t have known what to do. Glad you handled it so well in the end but I’m sorry it went so far!

Reply

Michellep September 26, 2012 at 10:16 am

@funkymunky, YOU ARE AWESOME!! Love the analogy!

OP, you are a better person than I am. After she said that bit about eating her, I’m afraid I would have been sorely tempted to go in that room in the middle of the night with a fork and scare her to death. Then throw her out.

Reply

Rowan September 26, 2012 at 10:17 am

Crazy lady! She is a CRAZY LADY!

Also, @ferretrick – if she’d taken meat out of the freezer and it had partially defrosted, the OP couldn’t have frozen it again. Plus if the stuff from the fridge had been sitting around all day, possibly in a warm room, it might be a bit dodgy to try eating it.

Reply

Stacey Frith-Smith September 26, 2012 at 10:35 am

The pantry. The refrigerator. The bedroom. The bathroom. The medicine cabinet. The bookshelf. The computer. The ballroom. The voting booth. The pastor’s office. The guru’s ashram. The charitable contributions. The choice of friends. The preferred hobbies. The choice of career. The plans for progeny. The doctor’s office. The gym. The retail preferences. A great many places might be open for discussion in general but are not open for debate in specific instances. People who mix up the two are apt to wind up having to leave places all of a sudden or to being subjected to a firm punch in the nose. The airing of views or even discussion and debate are one thing. Taking you and your possessions hostage for the duration of her visit and beyond is quite another. And OP, I think that, sadly, your reticence to confront your friend on her temerity in commenting on your dining choice the first night merely emboldened her to continue to escalate her sense of personal offense, angst, and sense of moral outrage. (Clue, she has nothing to be outraged about and she should have been apologizing profusely for her stupidity after the first remark.)

Reply

Ashley September 26, 2012 at 10:45 am

Wow, congrats to OP for standing up to this “friend” and asking her to leave. I would have been sending her an itemized bill of all the food she destroyed as well.

Reply

Rowan September 26, 2012 at 10:48 am

@Michellep I’d have sniffed her neck and said “mmmmm, corn fed!”

Reply

lkb September 26, 2012 at 10:49 am

I’ve already posted but after reading the comments this thought just occurred to me:

Okay, so she took the meat out of the fridge and disposed of it. To me that means that all the animals the guest in the story professes to love were placed in a garbage truck and sent to a landfill. How is that compassionate? Yeesh!

As I said, OP was more more polite than I would have been.

Reply

Annie September 26, 2012 at 10:50 am

Yuck, I hate people like this. I’ve been a vegetarian for many years, and there have been a few times that I’ve been openly mocked and criticized for it by a meat eater. I’ve never seen it happen the other way around (probably because there are fewer vegetarians), but it would be equally annoying! Especially from a house guest. Good heavens.

Reply

Gee September 26, 2012 at 10:59 am

OP, I applaud you! That was the perfect way to handle it.

Reply

whikseytangofoxtrot September 26, 2012 at 11:01 am

“om NOMNOMivore”- that made me giggle! Too cute! I’m an omnivore myself, but I enjoy a meatless meal now and then; some dishes are so good that they really don’t need meat. That being said, I can’t imagine coming into anyone’s home and demanding that they alter their eating habits, or any other part of their lifestyle, just to avoid offending my sensibilities. And if something about me bugs them that much, we’re probably better off if they stay elsewhere, and just meet up somewhere to socialize. OP was a lot more stoic about it than I think I would have been, and for longer- props to standing up to the visitor so well, when the limit was reached!

Reply

Raven September 26, 2012 at 11:03 am

Anyone who would throw out someone’s food does not deserve a reprieve. Not to victim-blame, OP, because it’s not your fault, but giving her another chance after that was just too kind.

OP’s friend sounds like a lunatic.

Reply

Auryn Grigori September 26, 2012 at 11:03 am

Ahh, a Todd the Vegan (Character in Scott Pilgrim vs The World). This is the nickname I give to some of the more self-righteous vegans and vegetarians who pull this kind of stuff.

Lucky for me, the vegans and vegetarians I know are awesome and polite. For them, I make vegan meals when I can (and it is not easy sometimes, a lot of vegetarian food has casein in it).

Reply

Compelled to Comment September 26, 2012 at 11:28 am

I would have asked the guest to replace everything she threw away. If the OP is anything like me, she has been buying the items for her parent’s party when they were on sale and quickly putting them in her freezer. The OP may not be able to re-purchase everything for the party at one time.

Also, commenting on those people who are hiding what the ingredients in a dish reallly are, this could be very, very bad. I have major food allergies and could end up in the hospital (or dead) if I eat something I am allergic too.

Reply

Leighanna September 26, 2012 at 11:29 am

….her response is, ” You are an inhuman monster, I can’t believe you would eat another living creature. I can’t sleep at night because I think you are going to creep into my bedroom and eat me….

She throws out everything that is non-vegetarian in your house so that leaves….her. The only source of meat in the house for the inhuman monster. There is some good logic there. I would have done the same thing as JWH (#38). Because I like to have fun that way with the silly people.

Reply

Lerah99 September 26, 2012 at 11:35 am

I have vegitarian and vegan friends. The only reason I even know about their diet choices is because we belong to a group that has monthly potlucks. And they always carefully label their dishes as “Vegitarian” or “Vegan” so others with similar diets will know how the food was prepared. But not a single one of them has ever even hinted that the “meat-eaters” should change what they bring or eat.

This woman is a nutjob. And being vegitarian is just how she is currently expressing and excusing her own personal brand of crazy.

Reply

JGM1764 September 26, 2012 at 11:56 am

@ Just Call Me J-
LOL! I am SO stealing omNOMNOMivore!

Reply

Lucky September 26, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Honestly, I don’t mind skipping meat when eating with vegetarians but I’ll also admit that my mulish streak would make me less inclined to do so as the vegetarian in question became more pushy about his or her beliefs. I have a close relative who is a vegetarian who never complains, and I will happily skip meat all week when she’s visiting. My former roommate who lectured me about every meal? Not so much. I know that’s irrational, but . . . whatever. I’m with science: Humans are omnivores. Our teeth say so.

Reply

JGM1764 September 26, 2012 at 12:06 pm

and @Serena, that sort of things makes me so angry. When a cousin of mine wanted to go vegan, one thing I had to tell her (I was vegetarian for many years, but an omnivore again now) was that she couldn’t trust anyone but other vegans because obnoxious, immature people like that just LOVE to try to sneak meat or other unwanted animal products into a vegan or vegetarian’s meal. I wonder if they would do the same to someone whose diet restrictions are for religious purposes rather than just their own ethical beliefs. Would she have snuck bacon fat into a Muslim friend’s dish and tricked her into eating it? So childish.

Reply

Laughingrick September 26, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Letters like this are the reason I visit this website. By it’s title, at first I thought it would be about tut-tuting people who used the wrong fork. Instead, it is mostly about how to be reasonable and considerate. I do think, though, that the commenters are too intent on being indignant and missing the humour here. This letter is hilarious. Just when you think it can’t get any goofier, it does. Now admittedly, I might not be as amused if she threw out my food, but it’s a story you could tell the rest of your life (“Did I tell you about the houseguest I had who threw out all my food and thought I was going to eat her?”).

The cost of replacing all that food: admittedly expensive , but

The memories: priceless.

Reply

RooRoo September 26, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I’m like a previous poster – an omnivore who has some delicious vegetarian dishes in her resume. I’ve only met one person who was a rude vegetarian. I forget whether I indulged in retaliatory rudeness or not, but it was before I was introduced to this site…

I wanted to respond to the idea that a vegetarian diet is *by default* healthier than one that includes meat. Nor does it prevent obesity. It’s like any other diet – it’s still what and how you eat that counts. One of my vegetarian friends was seriously obese. I knew her for about 18 years, and she was vegetarian the whole time. She also got a lot of exercise, on her feet or walking for at least two hours a day.

Like Jim Fixx, who believed that running was a cure-all, she died of a massive heart attack at a relatively early age. No, she didn’t die of being a vegetarian. But her diet neither prevented her obesity, nor her early death.

A note for you “city kids”: nearly all beef cattle are raised on grass. They spend only the last month or two of their lives being fattened in stockyards.

For the record, I am a fighter for animal welfare and have a lot of “street cred.” I let the animals be animals, though, not humans in fur.

Reply

Lo September 26, 2012 at 12:56 pm

This post infuriated so much I actually exclaimed “Oh no she didn’t!” outloud.

What’s really crazy is that this woman has 3 life choices ahead of her

1. live apart from the food culture of western society, growing her own food, patronizing no restaurants and never eating at another’s home unless they are as militantly vegan as she. Lonely life ahead of her.

2. years of rationalization and hypocracy as she attempts to navigate the waters of cruelty-free consumption without doing the above

3. softening her viewpoint

As a conscientious omnivore I tried to live completely cruelty free for, oh, I’d say two weeks before throwing in the towel. It’s just about impossible. Most of us learn to pick our battles. For me it’s not eating meat that presents the problem it’s the plight of animals on factory farms. Unless you live near a good independant farm in the US, it’s difficult to avoid eating that kind of meat and practically impossible not to support the meat industry. You do what you can for your own piece of mind and don’t worry about what others do. And I don’t even pretend to be doing everything I could be, I’ll still go to the grocery store and by a pound of ground chuck when I’m broke and can’t afford the better-cared-for beef. About the only solid improvement I’ve been able to make is not eating most chicken and not buying eggs anywhere except from the guy at my local farmers market (because I’ve seen pictures of his chickens and the way they live. He’s awesome)

If you can’t deal with other people eating meat? Forget it. You could go to a vegan restaurant, sure. Not vegetarian, of course, because then you might get bakery goods with eggs in them. And even if you didn’t eat those things you would still be supporting the egg industry by eating at a restaurant that buys them. You might want to pickup some veggies at your local grocer but they also sell meat products which means that some of your money will go to replenishing that stock. You can’t eat at a friend’s house unless her entire family is vegetarian and has banished meat from the house. You can’t own a cat or dog because those animals need meat to survive. You can’t stay at a hotel, travel by plane, or even go to a public venue that sells food because you’re automatically compromising your values. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

So she’s setting a standard that she cannot live up to and attempting to force everyone around her to match it.

That’s not a viewpoint, that’s psychosis.

Reply

Namárië September 26, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Cool story, bro.

Is it just me that thinks it’s a little weird that such a militant vegetarian withheld the info that she’s now a vegtarian from her host until the last minute?

Reply

Kay L September 26, 2012 at 1:37 pm

The OPs first mistake was eating her her dinner the first night in another room away from the “guest.”

Yielding to that kind of rude behavior set the stage for more later. But, certainly when the “guest” threw away her dinner while she was in the shower, the OP should have sent her packing.

At that point a response of “I think you’ll be more comfortable staying elsewhere” would have fit. But, if I came home to someone having emptied my freezer and ruined my food, the response would have been a curt “get out” regardless of any prior incidences.

Reply

Water Wren September 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

True story. I once had a veg guest destroy some meat in my fridge. I just replaced it and his it from her. I wanted her to feel at home. It didn’t take me long to grow a backbone.

Reply

feesh September 26, 2012 at 1:58 pm

She doesn’t want animals to be killed, so she throws out the meat, thus creating the demand for more meat in your household, resulting in the killing of twice as many animals. She thought that through brilliantly.

In all seriousness, though, there are negative effects stemming from virtually everything we consume. Is her entire diet organic/biodynamic? Does she grow all her food within walking distance of her house? Are all employees who plant and harvest her vegetables compensated fairly and treated well? Does all of her food come with no packing or recycled/compostable packing? Everything we do and eat has consequences; even vegetarian food. Many vegetarian foods may even have come to your plate in some manner that was detrimental to animals. What we all have to do is decide for ourselves in which ways we are willing to mitigate these problems. It would be nice if lots of people decided to reduce their impact drastically, but it is unrealistic to expect everyone to change in every way. She chose to become vegetarian. Great, but you didn’t choose that route and she needs to respect that. How would she react if you tore up her plane tickets because you couldn’t bear to watch her pollute the environment and cause global warming?

Reply

Angel September 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Your “friend” sounds like a real nut job. I’m surprised you allowed her to stay as long as you did. But you couldn’t have handled it any better IMO.

I would probably email her with the cost of the food she threw out, but be prepared for no response at all. And if that is the case, it’s a relatively small price to pay to be rid of this friend.

Reply

Shalamar September 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

This is only vaguely related, but I just wanted to share. A few years ago, my parents were expecting a visit from old friends whom they’d known when they all lived in the same city. The friends were coming to stay with my parents for a week. Right before they were due to arrive, the husband e-mailed my mother and said “By the way, Rosie (the wife) is now a vegetarian. See you soon!” My mother was thrown into an absolute panic – she and Dad are dyed-in-the-wool meat eaters, and she didn’t have a clue what to serve a vegetarian. She frantically drove to the grocery store and bought ingredients for non-meat dishes she could make – bean chili, salads, that sort of thing.

When the visit was about half over, Mum asked Rosie how long she’d been a vegetarian. Rosie looked a bit puzzled and said “But I’m not. Who told you I am?” “Er … your husband did, actually.” “Oh! Well, I don’t eat red meat anymore, but apart from that, the sky’s the limit.”

My poor mother! All that anxiety for nothing.

(Ironically, my two teenage daughters are now vegetarians – one of them’s a vegan, in fact – so she’s back to panicking about what to serve THEM.)

Reply

SJ September 26, 2012 at 2:40 pm

You know the best way to convince a meat-eater to be a vegetarian? Throw out all their meat. I’m sure that will work.

Reply

Bargle September 26, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Because Friend threw all the meat in the trash, the animals died for nothing but to become trash. There is a food chain on this planet, even though some believe humans shouldn’t participate in it. I certainly would not have been speechless after she threw the dinner away though. If OP ever hears of any mutual friends considering having this wackaloon as a guest I hope she warns the potential victim.

Reply

AIP September 26, 2012 at 2:54 pm

What an obnoxious cow! We’re not all like that, nor do we all subscribe to the “my diet is holier than thine” smug- vegetarian attitude ( I call it the Paul MacCartney effect).

Reply

AIP September 26, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Oh and I’d be willing to put money on her being back to eating every scrap of meat around her within 2 years at the least, or the veggie-8-year-itch at the most.

Reply

Emmy September 26, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Wow, what a horrid person and a super special snowflake. The OP should not have let the friend leave with single vegetarian item that the OP had bought. I also hope OP didn’t give her a ride to a hotel. If somebody had done that to me, I wouldn’t spend one more moment of effort or cent on gas giving them a ride anywhere.

Reply

--Lia September 26, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I’m interested in what this (ex)friend was like before the 2 years in which they didn’t see each other. Yes, the woman’s behavior was horribly rude, but it was ridiculously bizarre. As others have pointed out, throwing out food only meant more animals would be needed (tortured) to replace the wasted food. Besides, if you’re trying to change someone’s behavior, you don’t do it by calling attention to your own precious feelings or by coming up with exaggerated fears about being eaten. Which makes me think something else is up besides rudeness and illogic. This woman is crazy. Was she always like that? Were there clues? Did something happen that might have signaled a change? Was there a traumatic experience? Did this come on out of the blue? I’m not suggesting that it’s her host’s job to look into it or get her help. The host did a fantastic job of deciding when she’d had enough and doing something about it when she had. But if this person was always an over-sensitive, me-me-me little snot, she never should have been invited, and if she used to be a rational sort, then something is up. At this point, any attempt to contact her would likely just bring on more harangues of what an inhuman monster she is, so I wouldn’t recommend that, but I would try to keep in contact after a year or so to make sure she has friends or family watching out to make sure she doesn’t get involved in criminal activity or go even further off the deep end.

Reply

Lisa Marie September 26, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Does your vegetarian friend eat cake? Well there are eggs in it. How about any dairy, baby cows are slaughtered so we can drink the milk they would have gotten. Does she wear leather? Does she have pets and feed them only vegetables? Some breads have eggs in them. etc. etc. People were not meant to be vegetarians. Instead of eating only veggies they should campaign for decent treatment of animals. She would hate me because I raise beef. My cows are kept for 15 years and allowed to raise their own calves. They are fed, watered and sheltered every day. I do not sell veal. The animals I sell are at least 4 to 5 years old and had a very good life while they were here. I for one do not feel bad for eating them.

Reply

RedDevil September 26, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Your friend is not a vegetarian, she’s a Drama Queen. She purposefully escalated the situation to extract a dramatic response from you so she could revel in the drama of it all. Eat her in her sleep, for pete’s sake. *rolls eyes*

The “vegetarianism” is just a nice little package to excuse away the drama she creates. I wouldn’t be surprised if she picks up a little-known religion to use that too.

Good on you for refusing to be sucked into her self-created drama; Your end-all response was perfect.

Reply

White Lotus September 26, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I am a vegetarian, and I find the guest’s behavior offensive. Asking one’s host to buy different food is appalling and that is just the beginning. And I find the smell of cooking meat unpleasant, but in someone else’s home, I suck it up, leave the room and go outside if I have to, and keep my mouth shut.
That being said, I am equally and utterly appalled by the behavior of meat eaters who are guests in my home.
Respect needs to run both ways.

Reply

Mabel September 26, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Holy crap, I laughed hysterically over this crazy lady! The OP was totally justified in throwing her behind out the door. I would bill her for the food, too. It’s no different than sending her a bill for breaking something in the household. She threw the OP’s money away.

I also cracked up over the other commenters’ posts saying OP should stand over her at night with a fork. Too funny!

Reply

Wildrose September 26, 2012 at 4:36 pm

@RooRoo I’m a city kid, but I knew that. Unfortunately, I also know that the ‘finishing’ is absolutely crucial to what kind of nutritional profile you end up with in the meat. If it’s corn and soy, you’ll get the wrong kind of fats. If it’s grass, it’s much better.

Reply

AS September 26, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I don’t get such people – unless OP stores live animals in her fridge, the cow/chicken/whatever animal was already killed to become food. What does anyone gain by throwing them out? The only thing it achieves is that the person will have to go back to the market to buy more animals, thereby aiding in the slaughter or more “helpless creatures”; or they’ll have to buy more vegetable-products thereby taking away “food” from the animals.
OH! And BTW, plants are alive too – I don’t see why we can eat them, and not other animals!
(Just FYI, I am a vegetarian myself).

I am not even going to go into the hypocrisy and stupidity of it all – the admin and everyone else have already discussed this.

I hope she is not a zoo keeper, because I fear she’ll try to get the top carnivores like lions to eat grasses.

Reply

SweetBeej September 26, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Congratulations on the OP for handling a difficult situation with a properly polite spine! It must’ve been difficult for you to find your old friend behaving in such an insane manner. You did a good job of setting your boundaries when she clearly crossed the line.

And I’d like to compliment all the posters for being so kind and thoughtful about this matter. When I read the story I was scared to death that this would become a big ‘bash the crazy vegetarians’ fest, like I find on so many other websites anytime vegetarians or vegans are mentioned. I myself am a vegetarian (almost vegan because of some serious food allergies) and I find is so upsetting how many omnivores automatically put all of us into the ‘crazy’ box. Thank you so much for not doing that here!

Reply

Lisa September 26, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I am so glad that a couple of other posters pointed this out but it’s worth repeating….

As an animal lover, I find it disgusting that this person wasted the OP’s meat. How dense does she have to be to realize that the meat is going to be replaced? A cow still died for it whether it ends up in OP’s stomach or in the trash.

OP doesn’t mention the friend’s age but it sounds like she’s probably rather young and perhaps heard someone talking about animal cruelty, or saw some video about it on the web, and decided to hop on her high horse without actually thinking the whole thing through.

Reply

Ergala September 26, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Sorry I have to laugh. I’ve had visitors who were so picky about food that at certain points I’d point them to the kitchen and say “have at it.”. And my kitchen is very well stocked.

As to vegans/vegetarians being healthier….the people who are fad followers often times don’t research their chosen lifestyle. Therefore they think Vegetarian=100% healthy. Some very unhealthy foods are vegetarian. They don’t bother learning recipes so they buy the ready made stuff like the burgers, nuggets, veggie cheese, tofu dogs….Those are incredibly high in fat and sodium. The reason I know this is because 1) I saw a nutritionist and she straightened me out and 2) I used to feed my oldest that stuff when he was toddler and I was in the “My kid only eats 100% healthy all natural foods” phase. It wasn’t until I compared labels (and price tags) did I realize that not only were they pretty bad for you, but my kid smothered everything in ketchup so it didn’t matter if it was tofu or pig entrails.

I am a picky meat eater however. Not because of morals but because of my stomach. I do have 93% beef in the fridge that I keep solely for me. I also keep white fish, free range chicken…you name it. But it’s just for and not for company consumption. When we have guests I buy the regular stuff and I only eat the sides.

Reply

nk September 26, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Of all the Special Snowflake stories I’ve seen on this website, this has to be one of the worst. Having her beliefs is fine; forcing them on the people around her is not. I wonder what she does if she goes to a restaurant. Does she walk around to every table and explain that they’ll have to order a vegetarian meal because the sight of them eating meat would upset her?

Reply

Sugaryfun September 26, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Wow! I’m a vegetarian and I wish the odd crazy like this woman didn’t make us all look bad! OP’s friend should have told her before coming to stay that she was veggie and that she couldn’t stand anyone even eating meat near her so the OP had the choice to either eat veggie stuff while she was there or suggest she stay elsewhere. Just springing it on her was wrong, not to mention the wrongness of telling someone what they should and shouldn’t do in their own home and throwing out their food!
I’m not that hardcore myself. I don’t mind other people eating meat, though I prefer that they don’t do it in my home. Your home, your rules. When in Rome and all that.

Reply

KitKat September 26, 2012 at 8:37 pm

What the…? I am astounded by this. I would kick her out as well.

Reply

Anonymous September 26, 2012 at 8:44 pm

I agree with A, that throwing out meat (especially meat that isn’t yours, and ESPECIALLY meat that belongs to someone kind enough to let you stay in their house with them), is even worse than eating it, because, as A said, it means that the sacrifice that those animals made is for nothing. I don’t eat meat either, and, a few years ago, I was working for a lawyer who was having a summer barbecue for his wife, who was running for local office. I thought hard about how to handle it, and in the end, I just didn’t go, because it would have been impolitic to go and not eat, and I didn’t want to “pretend” to eat, take a piece of an animal, walk around with it on my plate, and throw it out, for precisely the reason A said. I don’t even remember if anyone said anything about the barbecue the next day, but if they did, I pretended that I hadn’t known about it, which was plausible, as it hadn’t been heavily publicized around the law firm.

Reply

Puzzled September 26, 2012 at 9:00 pm

I have former friends who are vegan. The reason they are former friends is because they became completely obnoxious about it. They preached until we could no longer stand being around them. The unfortunate thing is that they are raising their child to be the same way, and she has become even more obnoxious than they are. She has no friends and people have come to actively dislike her. Pretty sad for a 14-year-old.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: