It’s The Most Horrendous Time Of The Year!

by admin on October 6, 2012

The holiday season is almost upon us and that means all new opportunities for encountering faux pas of the holiday variety. If you have a story of a Thanksgiving, Chanukah or Christmas gone horridly wrong, or have some odd dilemma the readers can assist you with, submit your story!

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Otter October 6, 2012 at 11:07 am

Ha, ha! Hilarious!

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kingsrings October 6, 2012 at 6:11 pm

How do we submit a story to this site? Not a response (like I’m doing here), but an actual story or situation?

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admin October 6, 2012 at 11:29 pm

There is an image link in the right side bar menu for submitting stories. Also, each post should have a tiny link at the very bottom for submissions.

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splatman October 6, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Well Played!
LEGO = Play Well in Danish.

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HolidayGirl October 8, 2012 at 1:10 am

Oh man this is hilarious…

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Andi October 8, 2012 at 7:25 am

Ahh the classics!!

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Anonymous October 8, 2012 at 8:55 am

I didn’t catch number seven, but other than that, it was awesome. I think I’m going to use this video when I request to my family that we skip Christmas and go skiing instead.

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Redneck Gravy October 8, 2012 at 9:01 am

Unfortunately, it’s all too true !

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Anonymous October 8, 2012 at 9:02 am

Anyway, story time. The year was 1993, I was nine, my brother was six, and my mom decided to take us Christmas shopping, so we could purchase gifts for the family with our allowance money. So, my brother, being six, and following “kid logic,” found a coin sorter bank shaped like a piano, and thought it’d be perfect for our paternal grandmother, on the grounds that she had a lot of loose change (again, kid logic). Next to the piano banks, we saw a display of TOILET banks, which I think might have even made “realistic” flushing sounds (by early 90′s standards, anyway). So, we decided that the toilet banks were way too vulgar, my brother selected the piano bank, we finished our shopping, and that was that–until Christmas morning, when we were gathered around the tree opening our gifts. When it was my grandmother’s turn to open her gift from my brother, she unwrapped the piano bank, and blurted out, “Oh, I saw a MUCH NICER bank that was shaped like a TOILET!!!” That happened 19 years ago, and the grandmother in question died 15 years ago, but the Piano/Toilet Bank Story lives on.

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Mabel October 8, 2012 at 9:13 am

Bwaa ha ha!

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Lex October 9, 2012 at 3:45 am

Halloween. My least favourite time of year. I LOVE a good Halloween fancy dress party and am always up for getting dressed up for fun. What I’m NOT up for are the hoardes of kids (some not even in costume) that knock on the door, hold out their hands and say ‘Sweeties’. No please, no thank you, not even ‘Trick or treat’. I find it offensive that their parents live in the same road as us, saw us move in, yet couldn’t even be bothered to introduct themselves, yet they send their children to our house demanding that we give them sweets and chocolates, then when I turn them away because I have nothing for them, I get a tirade of abuse from the pavement at the end of my driveway for being a ‘tight bitch’. If I offer fruit I get abuse from the kids, or they take a piece and toss it in the rubbish bin – I paid good money for that food – if they don’t want it they shouldn’t take it! It really offends me! This year I will be displaying a ‘No trick or treaters – please respect our wishes’ poster. Harsh? Maybe. But I refuse to allow these obnoxious little brats (and their children) to treat me that way using ‘Halloween’ as an excuse!

One little girl knocked on the door last year in flood of tears, no costume, holding out a supermarket carrier bag and between wracking sobs she demanded ‘sweeties’ – it seems to me that the mum was simply using her daughter to ‘farm’ people…

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NicoleK October 9, 2012 at 9:36 am

Lex, while I agree the people are responding rudely to your lack of candy, I guess I wonder if there’s a reason you don’t have candy to begin with? I can’t agree with your logic that the kids shouldn’t come to your door, the tradition is that you go to every door in the neighborhood, in fact its a way to meet your neighbors. I DO agree that if a neighbor doesn’t have anything the kids should politely leave.

If the people are as obnoxious as you say, though, your sign may get your house egged or TPd so be careful.

Are you originally from a country or region that doesn’t celebrate Halloween with trick or treating?

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Magicdomino October 9, 2012 at 10:29 am

My favorite Christmas carol, especially in the last week before Christmas when I’m frantically trying to finish everything. I particularly sympathize with the gentleman attempting to rig the lights. “What do ya mean, one goes out, they all go out!” Yup, been there. :-)

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Angel October 9, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Not sure what is funnier, the song itself or the fact that they are LEGOS. LOL

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Anonymous October 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm

A few years ago (or, maybe not so few years ago now), the family of one of my brother’s childhood friends got around the whole Christmas light hassle (for outside, anyway) by simply swapping their regular outside lights with one red bulb, and one green bulb. It looked a little sparse next to the surrounding houses that had everything from regular strings of lights, to icicle lights, to full-on animated displays of reindeer, etc. (which in turn caused a bit of a traffic log jam in the holidays, from people driving past their houses at night to take a look), but it must have been much less headache, and no unnecessary waste of electricity. As for inside, my family used to lament the hassle of tangled Christmas-tree lights for years, until New Year’s Day circa 1997, when I was twelve, and I figured out that if we wound up each strand of lights after taking them off the tree, and put them in separate bags, then we’d have an easier time putting them up on the following year’s Christmas tree.

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GleanerGirl October 12, 2012 at 5:06 pm

My favorite part is when the man rigging up the light falls through the roof into the kitchen, right in front of hangover-guy.

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GleanerGirl October 12, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I bought ONE string of solar-powered lights that I drape over the bushes out front. No waste of electricity, and only one strand to deal with.

Sure, you get nothing on a night after a cloudy day, but really, how important are those lights, anyway? Better to save your energy for the important things. For instance, my family regularly has a casual Christmas, where we make our favorite munchies, from deviled eggs to Chex mix, and THAT is our “Christmas dinner.” No one goes hungry, as there is plenty to go around. The variety assures that everyone has something they can eat. Someone always brings veggies, and someone always brings meat of some sort. Protein is protein, and it doesn’t matter if the roast turkey is carved from the fowl at the table or sliced and rolled into little finger-foods served on toothpicks. It’s still wholesome. There is no hugely stressful “traditional dinner,” and clean-up is easy, too, because we just use paper plates and plastic-ware. No one is stuck washing the dishes for two hours, while the rest are socializing.

As for the “stale TV specials,” we pop in a video we all want to watch. And I stopped doing Christmas cards years ago. If I want to keep in touch with you, I’ll do it year-round.

Christmas is low-key, low-stress, and full of family fun! And presents are quite often re-gifts. “I have enjoyed this object for a long time, and now I’m giving it to you, because I know you’ll like it.” So what if it’s used? It’s something that the giver valued, and knows the receiver will enjoy using. We know how it works, and that it does what it is supposed to do. We know the quirks, and can instruct in any needed work-arounds. Or maybe it’s a book or puzzle that we have enjoyed, and are willing to share. The fact that we are sacrificing our own use of the object shows how much we care about the one getting it. And it’s certainly not commercializing the holiday.

Yeah, my family is weird, but I have to say, I LIKE how we do Christmas.

Also, due to varying schedules, we schedule our “Christmas” at a time that is convenient for us, and then we enjoy a blissfully free Christmas day – sleeping in, no muss, no fuss. Aaaaahhhhhhh. Well, except for the one person who has to work on Christmas day, but at least he gets a holiday bonus for it, while others are clamoring for the day off, because they are tied to celebrating on THAT day.

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GleanerGirl October 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

That wasn’t really an etiquette hell-type story, was it? Sorry!

I just got all warm and fuzzy thinking about Christmas coming soon, and how much fun and low-key it will be.

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