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One Turkey Of A Guest

First of all, allow me to gush about this wonderful site and community; I’ve been reading for nearly 10 years, and have found the stories and advice to be a wonderful source of entertainment and guidance. Now, for the first time ever, I am submitting my own tale so that others may laugh and learn as I have:

First a little bit of background: I am a woman in her 20s living in a major US city. At the time of this story, I was sharing a lovely 3 bedroom apartment with my best friend, who I’ll call Will, and our roommate/friend, who I’ll call Kristie. We all know each other from school and had a really nice time living together, with, of course, the exception of this story. /BG

For Thanksgiving last year, all three of us had decided to stay in the city and make our own holiday dinner. Kristie’s then close friend, and our fellow schoolmate Rachel decided that instead of spending the day with family she wanted to come and spend the holiday with Kristie in the city (so by transitive, us). Rachel was somewhat notorious for having trouble keeping friends and has a bit of a domineering personality, but I’m not easily stepped on and had never personally had any run-ins with her so pleasantries were not a problem, particularly given the holiday. Since she was Kristie’s close friend, she said she would have Rachel stay in her room and keep her occupied for the weekend (her words, not mine!). I was a little nervous hosting Thanksgiving for the first time ever, particularly since I had to go into work for a few hours that day, but had happened upon a catering deal that would allow us to order our favorites, have them delivered to our home, and then serve them with minimal prep. I was excited because when split four ways, this meal was going to be both affordable and substantial. I had Kristie double check with Rachel to make sure she was on board, at which time she informed her that she had recently discovered that she had some food allergies, dairy and gluten to name a few. Having a childhood friend with similar dietary issues, I was sympathetic, and we re-visited our meal selections and swapped some of our original choices out for items she would be able to enjoy. I even put in an order at a local vegan cafe for a gluten-free dessert that she would be able to enjoy. We also decided that it would be okay if Rachel paid a little less than the rest of us since she wasn’t free to enjoy everything that we ordered. We set a rate for her and a rate for us and everyone seemed to be in agreement.

Rachel arrived two days before Thanksgiving and said that she would feel cramped in Kristie’s room and would prefer to stay in the living/dining room. Due to the layout of our apartment, having guests sleep in the living/dining room reallllly wasn’t my favorite, mostly because of the fact that it made it difficult to use the room for its actual purpose (since it’s busy being a bedroom) and the proximity to our kitchenette and front door often lead to disturbing whomever was sleeping there if someone had to get up early. From what I could tell, no one else minded and it was only for a few nights. This, coupled with the fact that I didn’t want to be inhospitable and make her sleep somewhere she didn’t feel comfortable made me decide to hold my tongue and let her set up shop. The next morning I got up to go to work, woke her up with a grumble while making breakfast (sigh), and was on my way. When I returned later in the day, everyone had left and I was none-too-pleased to discover that my living room was still very much a bedroom. She had removed all of the couch cushions and strewn them on the floor (fine while sleeping, but I’d like to have them put back in the waking hours). Clothes, makeup, and shoes were strewn on every chair and table. She had even moved the couch so that it was closer to an electrical outlet so that she could charge her phone and set it on the couch (I have side tables that would have done the job just fine). The worst part for me was that she had hung her wet shower towel over one of my newly finished wooden dining room chairs. Now, in cases where I am the guest, I try to be a minimal impact kind of person – the saying “You won’t even know I’m here” applies. But I know that’s not everyone and given the impending holiday and Rachel’s personality, I opted to pick my battles and just asked Kristie if she wouldn’t mind “helping Rachel tidy up in the morning.”

Again, I had to work for a few hours on Thanksgiving, so I was nervous about getting everything on the table, but the wonderful Will and fantastic Kristie assured me that the three of them would take care of things. I walk in the door around 4:30 PM, and the living/dining room is thankfully organized. Life in the kitchen was not as fortunate. The scene was a frantic Kristie and Will scrambling to tend to the turkey and multiple hot side dishes, attempting to use the stove top as both a cooking range and a table. But what of the counter? Rachel had commandeered the entire counter top in order to make ONE dish – mashed potatoes that she could eat. She was cutting copious and overpowering amounts of onions and garlic to mask the taste of the dairy substitutions and her work was very spread out. After my assessment, I jumped into action and, peppering my requests with “please” and “thank you” as much as was possible and appropriate, rearranged the kitchen set up to allow more room for other dishes to be prepared and helped finish things up. In short order everything was ready to go so I stepped back and allowed my guest and gracious worker-bee friends first dibs. I am the type of person to eat very little on Thanksgiving morning and skip lunch so that I work up a big appetite for all that the highly anticipated meal has to offer. After I sit down with a full plate, I notice that Kristie and Rachel have both taken barely a sample size of a few things. I brush it off thinking that’s exactly what they were doing; sampling to see what they like. When Will and I pop up for seconds, I see that Kristie and Rachel are again taking next to nothing. I know it’s not my place to comment on how little they’re eating anymore than it is theirs to comment on how much I’m digging in, but as a hostess I asked if everything tasted okay. Kristie meekly replies, “Yeah, I’m just really full.” Rachel nods in agreement and offers, “Yeah, we all had a big lunch about 2 hours ago at a diner. I want to fit in as much as possible while I’m here and I just HAD to go to a diner!” I was flabbergasted. I can understand wanting to make the most of a vacation, but in THAT way on THIS day, which is associated with a big meal?! Kristie was embarrassed (though made her own choice to eat a big lunch) and Will…well, Will’s a bottomless pit, what can I say? 🙂

Immediately after dinner, Rachel says that she wants to go and see a friend of hers and Kristie’s who lived in the neighborhood. I ask if they wouldn’t mind helping with clean up first (particularly since my patience is wearing thin and Rachel has helped with no aspect of the meal besides her own at this point). Rachel waves me off and says they’ll be back in an hour or so and will help then. Come 1:00 AM I was tired of waiting and I cleaned up on my own (since Will did most of the cooking).

The next day Kristie is very apologetic about the clean up and makes a show of reimbursing Will and me for the meal to give Rachel the hint. Ultimately, Rachel decided that since she didn’t eat much and had to buy the supplies for her own mashed potatoes that she shouldn’t have to chip in for the meal, a fact which she only shares with Kristie. A once again embarrassed Kristie opts to pay for her friend who thankfully left a day later. Now, I don’t completely excuse Kristie as innocent since she never spoke up and let her friend have her way, but in our eyes Rachel sure managed to trample her way through the holiday and we consider it a lesson learned. 1010-12

{ 37 comments… add one }
  • Weschicky November 21, 2012, 7:30 am

    I think your guest, Rachel, was my roommate about ten years ago. I prefer to think back on the lessons learned when I remember those unfortunate months: be clear in expectations up front. Put things in writing (on a calendar, chore chart, or financial tally on the fridge, for instance). Accept that you cannot change her. Cherish Kristie for eventually stepping up and acting like a good friend and roommate in the face of such poor behavior.

    I hope your holiday goes more smoothly this year!

  • Psyche November 21, 2012, 7:45 am

    Lesson learned: don’t invite Rachel.

  • Yasuragi November 21, 2012, 7:45 am

    This is why I collect money for group things upfront. There’s always gonna be that person who can’t/won’t pay when the time comes.

  • Lo November 21, 2012, 8:12 am

    I absolutely loathe when people agree in advance to pony up for a shared meal and then back off because they didn’t eat as much as they thought they would or ate beforehand, or whatever else. If the agreement is made in advance there’s no excuse for not paying your fair share.
    It was generous to offer to let her pay a little less and very accomodating to get the special dairy and gluten free items she needed. What a freeloader!
    I do think it was good of Kristie to cover for her friend and take responsibility for her but I hope for Kristie’s sake she dropped this friend immediately after.

  • Margo November 21, 2012, 8:42 am

    It sounds as though both Rachel and Kristie were rude.

    Kristie should have addressed the issue about tidying up the room without waiting for you to mention it, she should have been firmed with Rachel when Rachel tried to change the terms of the invitation about where she would sleep, and should also have sorted out the issue of payment with Rachel (just to be clear, was it made clear to Rachel when she was invited that she would be asked to chip in for the cost of the meal? If not, then Kristie was rude to Rachel not to make this clear . If so, then Rachel was very rude to try to move the goal posts after accepting the invitation.

    I think Rachel’s behaviour was rude and ungracious. I’m not surprised she has trouble keeping friends. Did she bring flowers, or wine, to thank you for your hospitality? Indeed, did she thank you at all?

    At least you’ll know not to invite her in future!

  • egl November 21, 2012, 8:43 am

    I don’t have much experience with dairy substitutes, but unless she was using chocolate soy milk, I suspect she just likes large amounts of onions and garlic and didn’t want to risk having to cut down so others could share the mashed potatoes with her.

    I’m not seeing a lot of repeat invitations in this woman’s future.

  • Wendy November 21, 2012, 9:11 am

    “I’m sorry, Rachel, but we were expecting you to eat a full meal with us and share in the expenses as agreed upon.”
    I’m not sure I’d have been brave enough myself, though. At least it’s over and you’ve all learned important lessons.

  • The Elf November 21, 2012, 9:43 am

    “Be clear in expectations up front.”

    Great, great advice. The problem is, they were clear! They could have gone farther such as putting everything in writing and collecting up front, but it sounds to me like they worked everything out in advance until Rachel threw a wrench into the works.

    I have a friend who pulls similar stuff. I don’t think it is malicious – at least it isn’t with my friend – it’s just a tendency to think myopically and an adversion to pre-planning. With people like that, you either have to be painfully clear or just roll with the punches.

    The person who needs to learn the polite spine isn’t OP, it’s Kristie. I understand that she was trying to be a gracious host, but she should have established a few boundaries with her friend.

    BTW, copious onions and garlic in the mashed potatoes (with dairy or without) are awesome! Those are my kind of potatoes!

  • Kristi November 21, 2012, 9:52 am

    Although it sounds like you all dealt with this situation with good grace, patience and understanding, I don’t understand why roommate Kristie didn’t feel compelled to rein in her guest – from where she slept to her makeup and personal belongings being scattered all over the place, to her financial contribution to the meal. Sure Rachel was a rude and inconsiderate houseguest, but it was Kristie’s responsibility all the way to make sure her guest didn’t intrude upon OP and other roommate’s space, privacy, and enjoyment of Thanksgiving meal.

  • Raven November 21, 2012, 10:02 am

    I’m confused about the dairy substitute issue too. I’m gluten-free and dairy/lactose-reduced, and the subs I use usually don’t have any flavour at all. What’s to cover up? Yikes. The whole thing just sounds awkward altogether. It always amazes me how people don’t know how to be a good houseguest.

  • MichelleP November 21, 2012, 10:42 am

    You sound awesome OP and handled it as well as possible. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but lesson learned like you said.

  • Ashley November 21, 2012, 11:30 am

    And that’s why I collect money up front.

  • Ellen November 21, 2012, 12:12 pm

    While Rachel’s appetite or lack thereof is not a matter of etiquette, using it as an excuse to stiff her share of the bill is ridiculous.

    Her behavior and attitude about shared space are overbearing and self-centered, but it would appear that she did comply with direct requests when made. She did not “trample” the holiday so much as Kristie and Will laid down and acted like doormats.

    However, I think OP’s sense of obligation as “hostess” and her expectations of her “guests” (such as being flabbergasted about eating before dinner) are a bit misplaced. This was a co-operative effort, and even the “guest” was expected to pay for her meal. As such, there is no true “hostess,” which makes me wonder why there was such a stress point for OP about getting dinner on the table at a set time?

    There is one set of rules for a host/guest relationship, and a different set of rules for co-operative parties (especially when 3 out of 4 participants are all the “homeowners”). Rachel did not hold up her end of the bargain as a co-host, but you can’t hold her to both the “team” rules and the “guest” rules at the same time.

  • Missy November 21, 2012, 1:01 pm

    I once had a roommate who figured out how many hours she was home (she worked part time and took two classes) and said that since she was only home 12 hours out of 24, she only had to pay 1/2 her share of heat. The dumb thing was that I had a crazy job and an hour commute each way. So she left after me and was home first.

    Happily I knew that was a temporary arrangement. But I found out from a friend of a friend that she had a huge history like that. For instance, she started dating a guy and pretty much moved into his place and then said she wasn’t paying her rent (half way through the month) because she wasn’t living there. But threw a fit when the roommates asked her to move out. She would also contribute to their communal fund (like for toilet paper and cleaners and things) and retroactively announce that she believed she used fewer squares on a regular basis so she should have a refund. They’d go out for dinner and she’d order and then leave while they were still getting drinks and chatting. And she’d just expect that they’d cover it because “she only had a salad.” Of course because she had less, that meant she didn’t need to pay her share. In fact, they were impressed that I had managed to hold my ground against her and hadn’t let her get away with her stuff.

    Her name wasn’t Rachel, but oh, this sounds soooooo familiar. (She was a spreader-outer too!)

  • Stacey Frith-Smith November 21, 2012, 1:14 pm

    Great story! So true that what is awful to endure can be hilarious in retrospect. The image of the sleepy grouch who can’t be bothered to accommodate others is one that resembles that of a female Grinch in my mind, green skin and all after the diner meal before the feast!

  • Drawberry November 21, 2012, 2:08 pm

    It sounds like your roommate has had a long relationship with Rachael in which she’s used to being the doormat of a friend and Rachael enjoys stomping all over her with muddy boots.

    it feel bad for all of you involved.

  • Angel November 21, 2012, 2:12 pm

    Make sure Kristie knows that Rachel is not welcomed back–I can just imagine Rachel railroading Kristie into another invitation.

    People like this will never change, it’s just a change in the way you deal with them. I would have told her directly to clean up the living room and put stuff back as it was. Especially if I came home from work and saw that it had not been done. I have no problem being the bad guy.

    Personally I think it takes a lot of guts to act like a complete jerk for an entire visit and on top of it all, not even contribute what you need to? No wonder her family probably didn’t miss her for the holidays!

  • acr November 21, 2012, 2:46 pm

    Am I the only one who thinks that Rachel probably badgered Kristie into paying for the ingredients for her special mashed potatoes, or used the food she found in the OP’s kitchen?

  • FerrisW November 21, 2012, 2:48 pm

    I think people who back out of paying for something after it’s all agreed are vile, regardless of the reason. So often the only way for people to afford to have nice meals or activities is to split the cost with the group and to then put a financial strain on others because you change your mind after participating is very rude.

    I no longer bother with these sorts of people, and my friends now are all of the type who will pay up regardless of how much they join in, if that’s what they’ve agreed to do. A few years back we all chipped in to buy a friend a fancy birthday cake (it was a special birthday and she’d made a remark, a considerable amount of time earlier, about how she’d always wanted to have a professionally made cake for something but growing up they’d never been able to afford it). Wanting to do something nice for her, we all agreed to split the cost, which would be minimal between us, and another friend knew of a fabulous baker and ordered the cake from her. Unfortunately when it arrived it was dusted in chocolate, and as I’m allergic I was unable to partake. I still paid up my money, as I’d already agreed to contribute and gained pleasure from seeing the friend’s glee and enjoyment of it, rather than eating it myself.

    In a group meal situation where I was unable to eat most of the food for a variety of reasons, I would consider the company to be well worth chipping in for, and would still pay my way.

  • Tyler November 21, 2012, 3:56 pm

    Perhaps it’s because I’ve encountered too many “Rachel”s in my lifetime, but I simply no longer have the patience to accommodate rudeness in my home. I usually attempt to provide a firm “no” masked in politeness: “I’m sorry, but because of the layout of the apartment, I just think you would be terribly uncomfortable in the living room.” “Sure, I’d love to take you to a diner. Though, we should probably put it off until tomorrow, since we have so much to do today.” “Those mashed potatoes look good! Just let me squeeze in over here so that I can work on the stuffing.”

    As for the money problems, sometimes you just have to “suck it up” and cover for the stingy, though I do not think it’s out of place to take a firm hand in the matter: “We agreed beforehand that everyone would split the cost equally. I understand your concerns, but we made predetermined agreement to ensure that the meal would be affordable for everyone, so it’s only fair that you pay your share.”

  • Cat November 21, 2012, 4:53 pm

    Reminds me of a friend who took me out to eat for my birthday, announced that he didn’t have enough money to pay for the meal, and I had to pay for mine. No, he did not reimburse me either.
    I would love to know what Kristie sees in Rachel that she considers her as a close friend. She sounds like more of a close mooch who nickles and dimes her friends to death. I mean, counting sheets of toilet tissue? Male anatomy varying from female, I am surprised that the men didn’t decide that they should pay less too.

  • Lola November 21, 2012, 5:11 pm

    @Yasuragi — spot on.
    As for the rest of the story, I would have said a firm HELL-NO to the living room arrangements. Common spaces are just that. And would have insisted on cleaning up then and there, with something like “Oh Rachel darling, the smell of dirty dishes will really bother me if we don’t put everything away now. It will only take a few minutes, promise.”

  • Cat November 21, 2012, 6:34 pm

    Sorry, I confused Rachel with the story from another poster. Same attitude, different example. I wouldn’t invite her back, however.

  • Saucygirl November 21, 2012, 6:57 pm

    this is a story I would love to hear from kristies perspective. Because what I hear is “I found a catering company I wanted and I got everyone to agree to pay for it. And I’m calling myself the host but I’m going to work leaving my so called guests to do all the prep (gracious worker bees? Really?), until I come home and take over and dictate how things should be. Then I’m going to expect everyone to help with clean up, even though im supposedly the host and they did more work then me, and I will wait up till 1 am to make sure they do their share.” I have a feeling krisities story might say how she had the worst thanksgiving ever because she had two friends who had very set ideas on how thanksgiving should be and neither was willing to compromise on what they wanted.

  • Elle November 21, 2012, 7:40 pm

    Wait just a darn second.

    Less than a week ago it was beyond the pale that a LW wanted to ask her friends to pitch in for a wine and cheese tasting. And now we’re tut-tutting about a houseguest not pitching in her fair share of cash for Thanksgiving dinner and in fact preparing a dish.

  • Rebecca November 21, 2012, 11:08 pm

    I’m a bit confused too, because Rachel does sound very rude, but I also kind of wondered at the OP calling it “my living room” when in fact, she was room-mates with two other people.

    I do think it’s rude to go eat a big meal two hours before a big Thanksgiving dinner, thus leaving room only for a sample-sized helping, and then leave to go to another friend’s place.

    It doesn’t sound like the OP was hosting at all; it was more like a “let’s all pitch in and do this together” (which is why the worker-bee comment surprised me too). Still, it does go against the whole idea of the thing to have a big meal two hours before and then take off immediately after.

    Also, regarding the living room and “feeling cramped” in Kristi’s room, Kristi should have said, “Sorry, no, that is the common area that all the housemates use.”

  • Lychii November 22, 2012, 2:56 am

    I’m conflicted about the food/money situation in this story.

    On one hand Rachel avoided payment when she previously agreed to pay, which is obviously rude and a very indecent thing to do. However, since she hardly ate anything, I think it’s reasonable that OP & co would offer to exempt her from this expense.

    I mean, what even happened to all that food? There should have been quite a lot… If OP & co ate leftovers for a week after, why should Rachel be the one paying for their meals?

    This is way too close to the dreaded restaurant situation where the person who ordered lobster expects their friend who ordered the salad to split the bill evenly.

  • PM November 22, 2012, 6:43 am

    Elle, I see your point. I think the difference is that those involved in the OP made plans for a special meal, based on the idea that all of them would pay. If Rachel wasn’t comfortable or able to pay, she should have said so beforehand rather than agreeing to the arrangement and going back on her word.

  • E November 22, 2012, 8:56 am

    I’m with Elle at being a bit confused about this! Seems very hypocritical.

    I’m also confused as to if Rachel is a “guest” or a guest. If I was hosting I wouldn’t expect the guest to pay for their food. I’m a student at the minute and if I can’t afford to feed people I just say that it’s not possible to host at the minute. Normally it’s all reciprocated anyway by when I go to stay with them or they take care of the drinks if we go out somewhere. If somebody had been slaving for hours making a full dinner with all the trimmings I can understand that it would be rude to eat before but that doesnt seem the setup here!

    I also agree with Saucygirl in the sense that if I were the letter writer I’d have seen it as my place to do more of the clean up as by her own admission the others did most of the cooking (and seeing as it was already ‘minimal prep’ how much did she have to do by the time she got back from work?). Not saying they shouldn’t have helped but she could have started, if they got back so late would it have been the end of the world if the dishes were finished the following day?

    Even the mess in the living room wouldn’t have bothered me too much – I guess I’d just expect things were going to be hectic as it was being used as a bedroom and dealt with it for a couple of nights, would be a different case if it was for months though and I do agree the cushions should have been placed back at the very least.

    Appears I may have misread this though as a lot of the comments are a completely different tract to how I thought they would be while reading! One thing I’ve learnt from EHell is I must be a pretty appalling host myself!

  • clairedelune November 22, 2012, 10:21 am

    Like Ellen, I’m a little confused about why everyone should be so frantic about getting dinner on the table at a particular time–since the only “guests” were also the “hosts.” Rachel sounds like a very difficult houseguest in general, but as to the particular Thanksgiving dinner part of the story, it does sound like there was a lack of clarity in roles, and that Rachel’s appointed role in the collaborative effort means that she could reasonably feel comfortable doing some food prep of her own. (Though not taking up the whole counter.)

  • The Elf November 22, 2012, 1:14 pm

    It’s the way it is presented. When you are hosting, you’re expecting to shell out. That LW wanted to host, but charge her guests for some of the costs, or instruct her guests to bring certain items. But this was planned as a communal-cost event from the beginning. In fact, if you read the suggestions for that post, you can see many suggestions to redesign the party so that it isn’t so much hosted as party with communal contributions. Such parties have to be done carefully, because it is a fine line between charging admission to your party and being the organizer for something mutually planned and hosted.

  • The Elf November 22, 2012, 1:16 pm

    Saucygirl, you make a great point. Every story has two sides (at least!) so I wonder how dramatically different the other side would be.

  • Twik November 22, 2012, 4:05 pm

    Saucygirl – well, there might be a point – except the OP didn’t invite Rachel, her roommate did. In fact, it sounds much as if Rachel invited herself, through Kristie. And it was apparently agreed between Kristie and her roommates that the Thanksgivings cost would be split (a common way it’s done by roommates). Therefore, Kristie’s guests are her responsibility.

    You agree to take part in a cooperative effort, you have to live up to your bargain. If Rachel didn’t want to pay the cost, she should have said up front, not complain that, because she’d bought herself an extra meal and wasn’t hungry, she shouldn’t have to pay her share.

  • Rebecca November 23, 2012, 1:17 am

    “This is way too close to the dreaded restaurant situation where the person who ordered lobster expects their friend who ordered the salad to split the bill evenly.”

    Except that the amount of food purchased was decided on in advance based on the idea that everyone would consume a similar amount and pitch in equally. What Rachel did was akin to everyone saying. “Let’s all order lobster and share the cost equally.” Then when the lobster arrives, Rachel just kind of nibbles at hers and doesn’t finish it, then announces that since she didn’t eat it all, she doesn’t have to pay her fair share. Yet the restaurant still charges the whole group.

    I guess you could argue “yes but in this case the OP got to keep leftovers” but perhaps this is pricier food (prepared special holiday food) than she would normally consume for lunches and the idea was that they were all pitching in for something a little nicer to celebrate the holiday. If Rachel didn’t want a lot of food, this could have been communicated in advance before it was ordered and paid for.

  • Enna November 23, 2012, 6:46 am

    If Rachel hadn’t paid for her share of the food upfront then she shouldn’t have been allowed to stay. I think OP and the others learnt a lesson here. And it should be pointed out to Rachel and Kristie that going to the diner was their choice and Rachel still needs to contrbuite to the meal. As for Rachel leaving her stuff around – if it’s in the way move it. Rachel is going to find she will have no firends if she isn’t careful – she wouldn’t like it if she got stung in the same way.

  • OP! November 23, 2012, 12:03 pm

    Hello all! Very honored to be the “Thanksgiving Eve” post on my beloved EHell!

    I thank all of you for your comments and appreciate the insight. As many before me, I suppose I should clarify a few things:

    1. Once Rachel had arrived, we all agreed on a meal-time, hence the cooking having to begin before I arrived. Once I came back I took the reins, but Will and Kristie did quite a bit and they deserve credit! 🙂

    2. Rachel’s stay was 5 days, beginning 2 days before Thanksgiving and ending 2 days after. Thus, she was more than welcome to partake in any leftovers post-Thanksgiving like anyone else (which, if memory serves, she did), so this truly would have been split equal ways. The dish that she made was, by her own admission, not to be shared. Additionally, this is what upset me so much about the diner. There were 3-4 other days she could have gone!

    3. I understand a lot of comments about whether or not I was truly a “host.” At the time, I was primary owner of the apartment so everyone chipped in, but I made most of the major household decisions. Though I suppose after reading through, I was a secondary host (Kristie being primary) to Rachel’s “house guest,” but the dinner was a communal effort. For me, she made both relationships difficult!

    Kristie and I are still very close, whereas her relationship with Rachel has cooled due to this and several other similar happenings. Excellent instincts on those who sensed that Kristie had let Rachel rule over her quite a bit; this was indeed the nature of their friendship in its heyday.

    Happy Holidays, all!

  • Beau December 22, 2012, 3:38 pm

    I can’t believe anyone would put up with this behavior. I get so tired of hearing about people getting stepped on when they have every right to speak up and change the situation.

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