In my college days, I was rather socially awkward. This limited any chances I ever had at dating, so I usually hung out at home all weekend. At the time one of my friends from high school was just discovering he was gay and enjoying every minute of it. He would share stories of the fun nights he had at the “gay bars” in our area.
One night, he invited me to come out with him. Being straight, I was a little hesitant. He assured me, that being a girl, and it was mostly guys there, I’d be welcome by all and he was right. We both had a blast. Until closing time…. my friend has met another guy during the evening who invited my friend back to his place to “hook up”. Since my friend was my ride, I was stuck going with him. Following the mystery man to his house, I ask my friend what’s to become of me. He says, “Oh, I forgot to tell him you were with me, I’m sure he’s got a guest room you can crash in.” Great, I’m a third-wheel for a hook-up. I ask him if it’s possible to drop me off at home, but he says it’s too far and promises he’ll wake up early and get us out of there asap.
When we get to mystery man’s house at about 3 am, I’m finally introduced and informed there’s no extra bedroom, but I can sleep on the recliner in the living room. They leave me be and go into his bedroom. At about 6 am I’m woken by, I’m guessing, younger siblings screaming. Two minutes later I hear what is obviously his parents entering the adjoining kitchen making their coffee. These people probably have no idea who this random girl is on their recliner, so I pretended I was still asleep as they went through their morning routine. An hour later, I hear, I’m assuming his mother, knock on mystery man’s door asking, “Honey, when are you going to get up? You have a guest sleeping out here and so and so want to watch their cartoons.” I feel so out of place and by this time really had to pee, so I “woke” up, went to the bathroom, came back out to the recliner and sat. I introduced myself to the parents as a friend of a friend to their son and made small talk. At first they were pleasant, until they found out my friend wasn’t female. It became apparent they did not support their son’s life choice, and that they’re disappointed that I’m not in the bedroom and my male friend is out here. As if it wasn’t uncomfortable enough, they started on about how homosexuality is a sin and God punished them by making their son a ***. I quickly thanked them for their hospitality and excused myself to wait outside in my friend’s car until he woke….4 HOURS LATER!! I don’t even know what was worse, the inconsideration of my friend or the bigot parents from hell!! 1004-12
You learned a handful of valuable lessons that day….hopefully. One, your friend is a selfish, inconsiderate creep who put his gonads before his friendship with you for the sake of a one night stand. His sexuality is utterly irrelevant at this point because had he been straight, his behavior still would have been crass and dismissive of his first obligation to treat his friend and guest with respect. He invited you to accompany him on his bar rounds and he had an obligation to return you home before pursuing his passions. Girl, you got dumped like an inconvenient sack of potatoes.
Second, your friend is a presumptive cretin who didn’t even bother to tell his “Mystery man” that you were with him and just presumed he would offer you some hospitality. Good lord, the hairs on the back of my head are standing on end just at the thought of the awkwardness of this. At the point where your friends tries to tell you it’s too far to your house, that is when you should have grown a polite spine and told him, “No, that is not acceptable. I agreed to accompany you to the bar. I did not sign on to be the surprise guest at some stranger’s house while you two have sex in the next room. Please take me home right now so that you can enjoy your evening in peace.”
Third, I can predict that many commentators to this story will take great issue with you blindly strolling into a “mystery man’s” home with no idea of where you are going and no real plan on how to extricate yourself. It doesn’t appear that you and “mystery man” had even met since he was not aware you were the guest of his “date”.
Fourth lesson, now you know to bring along enough cash for a taxi.
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To be fair to all concerned, let us remember that this happened after going for drinks at a bar. In other words, no one was at their best. Alcohol dulls the thinking process quite a lot.
Mind you. I am by NO means making the excuse that they were drunk, so they were not responsible. I’m a tea-totally, myself, and figure that if you choose to take the drink, you choose to face the consequences that go with it.
From hearing too many “This happened while I was drunk” stories, I have come to the conclusion that if you really want to go out to drink, go right ahead, AFTER you have set up a contingency plan. Plan for whatever stupid things you might do, while drunk, so that you can avoid and/or mitigate them, while still enjoying your buzz.
If you knew you were drinking, obviously you could not take his car. But then again, was he sober when he drove you? No, no, this is a case where a designated driver would have been a life-saver. Even a non-driver designated sober friend is a good thing to have.
For example, if you brought along your designated sober friend, even if she does not have a license, she will still be sober enough to think clearly, and save you from the initial mistake of allowing “friend” to drag you to the hook-up’s house. Sober friend could say, “Well, a taxi is expensive, but that is a safer option. Or maybe we could see about sharing a taxi with some other people here. Or, remember that our other friend lives near here, and might be willing to pick us up.” When you are sober, you can think of all these options that just don’t come to mind when you are drunk.
So, if you’re going to take that first drink, take precautions FIRST. That’s my motto.
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