This past summer, I invited four friends to accompany me to my home country, for vacation, in the Caribbean. We are in our early twenties and were tight for money so renting a hotel room was not an option for us, however, my dear Grandfather insisted that we stay with him in his home for the week that we would be visiting there. My two South American friends decided to make a very popular dish from their home country (a shrimp ceviche) as a gesture of thanks to my Grandfather, which I found very sweet. Now, I believe that my friend underestimated the quantity of ingredients for the amount of people that made up the group including my Grandfather and my cousin because no sooner had they sat down to eat (my Grandfather is usually the last to eat by his own choosing no matter how insistent I was at that time), my friend and her boyfriend (I will call them Jack and Jill), served themselves heaping mounds of food onto their plates while everyone else took smaller portions. I did not even get a chance to serve my Grandfather, much less myself, before they took heaping seconds and thirds, by the time to fix a plate, I made sure to take a give my grandfather whatever was left of the shrimp and vegetables and rice (there was not much) and juice and rice for myself.
I believe that during this whole time, in retrospect, I should have been the first person to fix my grandfather a plate and put it to the side but I had been so busy helping to find last minute items (juice, cups, napkins, etc.) that I overlooked that aspect. I was flabbergasted at the fact that this couple would take heaping spoonfuls of this dish without even thinking to be consider that other people had not even fixed a plate for THEMSELVES. On one hand, we were all guests in my Grandfather’s home and as a host, it is important to be gracious and giving to your guests, and yes, the dish was made for everyone to eat but mostly as a gesture of thanks to my Grandfather. In my upbringing, elders are and always have been served first out of respect (as much as they are equally as insistent that everyone else eats first and they fix themselves a plate later), but as a guest in another person’s home, is there not a rule of etiquette that one waits for seconds until everyone else has had a fixed themselves a plate? If I am missing a lesson in etiquette or they changed a rule, I would really like to be updated.
What should I have done in this situation? Am I justified in feeling the way that I do? Has common decency when it comes to being a guest gone out the window? 1011-12