50 Shades of Uncomfortableness

by admin on October 24, 2012

I clean homes for a living. Most of my clients are older retired women active in the community and our church. For the past few months, I’m seeing this book sitting on most of their coffee tables. The book title, you say? 50 Shades Of Grey.

For those who don’t know, the book is pornography, much more extreme than your normal Harlequin romance. The problem I’m having is how these women think it’s ok to leave it out in the open for all to see? Call me old-fashioned, but I believe anything that has to do with sex should be kept in the privacy of your own bedroom.

Now I’m noticing the amount of women reading this book in public places. If a man pulled out a Playboy at the coffee shop, that would be a little creepy, right? What kind of advances are you welcoming, especially from a male stranger who has read the book? It’s scary!! While I’m not condoning the actions in the book, there is a time and a place, ladies! Keep it classy! 1020-12

I think the home is private and while I wouldn’t suggest leaving possibly offensive reading material in plain view, one’s home is your castle to do as you please with the caveat that leaving skanky items in common areas is an invitation for guests to come to some unflattering conclusions about you.   The OP is technically not a guest but rather a paid employee and I believe the employer has a right to expect discretion from his/her employees.

{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }

Cat October 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Elf, that’s a thought. We’re not close enough for me to know how she’d feel about my knowing about what she may regard as a highly private matter. Some women would just say, “I wondered where that went.” and others would feel I knew more about their private life than they ever intended.
The moral is to check what you are putting into a garage sale before people start waving it about. I could just see some youngster asking, “Mommy, what’s this?” long before that knowledge would be needed. My mother told me the facts of life, but she didn’t do a show-and-tell.


Nancy October 24, 2012 at 4:22 pm

OP seems kinda sex negative towards the choices of her employer. Would you judge a woman who reads a Harlequin romance in public? What about other kinds of smut? Lady Chatterly? I PERSONALLY wouldn’t choose to read it in public, but hey, if that’s what they wanna do, then so be it. You’re in THEIR HOME.

Are you upset because your church is very conservative, and lo and behold, someone is not able or willing to strive for those impossibly high standards at home? Well, get over it. Didn’t Jesus say something about the first stone? And since you know these women, are they in fact, people who hire you so that you’ll have houses to clean and an income, in essence, being “nice” by choosing you and your service over another, or even over doing it themselves?

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you and keep your nose out of it. If they had porn or sex toys in their house, I would count that double. Because if you’re chattering to some other women in your church and your employer finds out? They’re not going to be so “nice” anymore.


Carol October 24, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I’m LOLing forever at the idea that 50 Shades is pornographic. It isn’t even erotic, really. It’s got sort of grahic sex in it, sure, but its so badly written it’s about erotic as an Ikea manual.

Okay…that’s my opinion, so if anyone actually likes that book, sorry.

That being said, I say -Rock on church grandma! I hope you find some good erotic fiction to read too!


TylerBelle October 24, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I think the OP should mind her own business, as said in all these posts, or if she is so inclined, pray about it if it bothered much. And also I think some should refrain from using what’s been said in here as an excuse to kick around someone’s faith.


Sarah October 24, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Everyone else has covered the “privacy of their own home” point pretty well, so I’ll cover a slightly different view. OP may have *heard* that “50 Shades of Grey” is “porn” or “scandalous” or “poorly written erotica”, but really, you cannot judge a book unless you’ve actually read it. And if you HAVE read the book, you have no right to judge other people for reading it too, no matter who they are or what age category they’re in. It’s not like the book has pictures of naked or scantily clad women on the front.

Then again, I’m of the mind that being uptight about sex/porn/nudity while glorifying violence/death/conflict is stupid, but that’s just me.


Kendo_Bunny October 24, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Extreme? I’ve read excerpts, and the only words the author can think of to describe the heroine’s genitals is “down there”. Even so, it’s a book. A silly, poorly written, insulting book, but a book. When I was working on a paper on historical pornography, I openly read “Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure”, “Venus in Furs”, and “120 Days of Sodom” in public. No one approached me over any of those, and the first one is the only one that I believed had merits as literature, as opposed to just studies of the author/the human mind. “120 Days of Sodom” made me feel so sick I couldn’t finish the whole thing.

That’s not on my bookshelf (thankfully I didn’t have to buy it), but plenty of “naughty” books are, though maybe most people wouldn’t know them for naughty now. But it’s hard to ignore the framed Pre-Raphaelite nudes, and the 1950’s pin-ups. I’m not embarrassed for liking the artwork, or for being fascinated by the study of human sexuality in classic literature. Or if I just plain liked smut, that would also be my own business, no matter how many dirty books, movies, or magazines you saw in my private home. A cleaner is hired to clean, not to pass judgement on my lifestyle.


Stacey Frith-Smith October 24, 2012 at 5:52 pm

It’s a bit much to get twisted up over an employer’s taste in books. As you weren’t asked to read and critique the novel in the course of your duties, you haven’t any need to be concerned. As to your reaction to the fact that these ladies are at variance with your expectations for appropriate tastes in their demographic, you are entitled to your private head shake. To take matters any further, however, is petty. You have no standing to comment on their choices. You do assume a duty of confidentiality by entering their homes as a contractor or employee. If you wonder how it is that others are more shocked by your commentary than by the presence of an explicit book, simply reverse the players in your mind. How would you feel if your hairdresser, dentist, barkeep, pastor, plumber, electrician, cab driver, dry cleaner or waitress discussed some unfortunate tidbit about your private life and tastes? Perhaps only in the context of you as a member of a group? (You know, these housekeepers are forever poking their noses where they don’t belong. And SOME of them are even church members. Can you believe the audacity?) That mental perambulation will give you some perspective on this situation, I think. If it helps at all, I’ve worked in homes (nanny, tutor, house manager, chief cook and bottle washer), and understand the humor of being caught off guard at times. Discretion in attitude as well as in thoughts you express is a good thing.


barbarian October 24, 2012 at 7:16 pm

“50 Shades” may be badly written but pornography it is not–it’s on the racks with the popular books in a major gracery chain owned by conservative people! This person is obviously not busy enough cleaning if she can notice her clients’ possessions in detail.


acr October 24, 2012 at 7:41 pm

It doesn’t matter if the employer has a stack of the nastiest, kinkiest porn ever made. Not. Your. Business. The fact that you’re get so upset because a *gasp* older *gasp* Christian *gasp* woman is reading this just appalling and absurd.


admin October 26, 2012 at 6:09 am

Uh, no, an employee has no duty to be complicit in silence about the nastiest, kinkiest porn which I define as pedophile pornography. I banned a member from the forum years ago when it was discovered he was writing pedophile pornography. Zero tolerance for the nastiest, kinkiest pornography.


White Lotus October 24, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I haven’t read that book. Woman as masochist does not appeal to me on any level. After reading what posters here have said about its quality, I am even less likely to do so.
As to the issue, here is another POV. I respect my housekeepers. Yes, they are employees, but I respect them as people and professionals who perform a needed service. What DH and I do on our own is private, but more, I would not show disrespect for my employees by leaving sexual toys or porn around, or by leaving anything else out that might be offensive to them.
It is an issue of my privacy and their professionalism, and my respect for that.


Kathryn October 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Hi everyone, I’m really sorry for offending you all with my personal views. I made my suggestion to the OP believing that she and her clients dentified as Christian, as she said, “Most of my clients are older retired women active in the community and our church.”

So it’s clear, I wouldn’t dream of bringing this issue up with someone who wasn’t a close Christian friend. I wasn’t trying to push my beliefs about this on the rest of you and I apologise for coming across that way.

You can all do and read what you want and I’ll be over here not judging you for your personal, private choices 🙂


Melalucci October 24, 2012 at 8:57 pm

OP only knows that 50 Shades of Grey is “pornography” because he/she is familiar with what the book is about. However, many, many books contain sex scenes that are as graphic as this one. If a person doesn’t know what the book is about and sees someone reading it, he/she would have no idea there was “pornography” inside.

If a grown person wants to read a book with sex in it, that’s their right, in public or in private. I don’t see any etiquette breach. Reading something like Playboy in public might be different because there are pictures that children shouldn’t see. Nobody’s going to see a novel’s sex scenes unless they’re reading over a shoulder (and we all know how rude that is).


Elle October 24, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I’m puzzled by the “it’s not pornography” sentiment that I’m seeing repeated. 50 Shades and Playboy are both designed to titillate. Heck, 50 Shades and it’s fellow erotica novels are much more explicit and graphic than your average issue of Playboy. The only thing that makes them more acceptable for public consumption is that black and white print is significantly more family friendly than full color photos. Men (in general) are more stimulated by pictures and women (in general) are more stimulated by descriptions of steamy scenes and torrid interpersonal relationships.

Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and what’s good for the goose……


nk October 25, 2012 at 12:15 am

Frankly, anyone who leaves a pornographic novel lying around in plain sight should expect to be judged for it. If she wants to keep that private, she should put it somewhere private.


Allison October 25, 2012 at 2:41 am

Very happy to see that everyone is apalled by the gall of OP to assume she has any rights to dictate what someone leaves in their own home.
I was a house maid once and the things I saw were shocking, apalling, perverted, illegal, but it was not my place to judge, it was my JOB to clean. Sure I judged them internally for being disgusting slobs, or hoarders, or porn stars (yes I cleaned ones house), but I never thought of them any different, nor got under the assumption that they were somehow offending ME by living how they choose to live.

OP, get off your high horse, avert your eyes and do your job you are paid to do. If you are so offended by the mere presence of a book, perhaps house cleaning is not the job for you.

Also, the elderly still having a sexual appetite is perfectly healthy. Sure nobody wants to think of Grandma getting her raunch on, but that doesnt mean she isnt allowed to. Grandma and Grandpa deserve a healthy sex life as much as the rest of us, and I hope I still feel a little kinky when I am in elder years.


Katie2 October 25, 2012 at 6:16 am

I really don’t care what people read in public places, as long as they don’t bring me into it! Likewise, I don’t see my reading material as an ‘invitation’ for people to approach me. Though I actually agree that it’s not appropriate to brandish adult/explicit material (by this I would mean images that can be clearly seen) in a public place. If it’s rated 18-plus, then I do think that as adults we have some responsibility not to make that material visible in public areas. On a personal level, it wouldn’t bother ME in the slightest, but I am aware that some people may not want to see it, and I respect that 🙂

On the other subject… well, I do again see that some people might feel uncomfortable in seeing certain kinds of literature/art/items in people’s homes. But I think that this kind of thing comes with the territory if you work in a job like cleaning/housekeeping, which, by its nature, involves coming into contact with people’s homes and private spaces. Unless it’s something that is very explicit/offensive or obviously encroaching on your work, I really don’t see that an employee has the right to expect the employer to hide their reading material/art, etc.


Bint October 25, 2012 at 6:49 am

Kendo-Bunny – have you read Julie Peakman’s work on that historical area? I strongly recommend Lascivious Bodies!


A October 25, 2012 at 6:55 am

I’ve seen 50 Shades of Gray and from the cover you wouldn’t know that it’s porn, erotica…whatever you want to call it. The only reason I even know it is sexually graphic is from comments made by others who have read it. The OP already stated that she read the book, so that’s probably another good reason not to judge someone for having the book laying around. Maybe it wasn’t even the homeowner’s book. Maybe someone left it there and the homeowner has no clue what it’s about. Also, the book is sold at Target. Target! Where anyone of any age can purchase the book. This is quite unlike Playboy, which is not sold at Target and which anyone who purchases has to show ID.


Jenny October 25, 2012 at 7:21 am

Kathryn, the bible itself has a lot of sex in it. Have you ever read Song of Solomon?


Esmeralda October 25, 2012 at 7:33 am

@ nk, a woman’s home is, in fact, someplace private.


Shoebox October 25, 2012 at 7:35 am

I asked my mom the veteran professional house cleaner (as in 30+ years) about this, and her response was simple: have a private chuckle if you like – and she’s had quite a few – but leave it there. “It’s not my place to tell people what they can have in their own house!”

Honestly, OP, if you were hoping to have a public chuckle at your clients’ expense (the only valid reason I can think of for your post) you picked the wrong place. And your attempt at random slut-shaming inadvertently revealed a lot more that’s distasteful about you than your topic.

NK: We’ll just have to hope that your life is perfectly free from any possibility of misinterpretation, then. Good luck with that.


Jules1980 October 25, 2012 at 9:34 am

I once worked with a lady who openly read pornographic or erotic novels at work in very public hospital. And yes, even though I know I’m going to get lots of negative responses for this, I did think less of her ethics for it. Now, that said, I see nothing wrong with pornos or erotica or what have you if that’s what you are into. I’ve never read 50 shades because the premise doesn’t appeal to me, but I have read plenty of Harlequin Blazes, etc. in my time. I just happen to believe there is a time and place for such things and work was not one of them.

It was very obvious from the covers of her books what they were and yes, I and others that had to work with her, (not to mention patients’ families) were offended by it. We would have been just as offended if a male counterpart to her job had been sitting there with a Playboy on his lap. This person was allowed to read on her job so that wasn’t the bad part of it.

Actually, if she’d just put something over the graphics on the covers no one would have had a problem with it.

However, in your own home you are free to do what you please. But, if you leave an erotic novel on the coffee table and invite people in employee or not, people are going to talk about it just the same as if you left a Hustler on the kitchen table.


Angel October 25, 2012 at 9:49 am

LOL. Were you offended when you saw them on the display at Barnes and Noble too? The book you are referring to is mainstream, it was on the NY times bestseller list, (as much as I disagree with that !) and it was on the coffee table of a private home. I would hate to think that someone I hire to clean my house would judge me in so harsh a manner. But whatever floats your boat. I would certainly not think less of anyone who read the book–even though I haven’t read them myself and probably am not going to.

It begs the question though, that if a book like that bothers you so much, how in the world would you react if you come across something really scandalous? How about if one of your clients had a sex swing or left out a vibrator? Would you no longer work for them? I can understand having religious convictions to some extent, but judge too harshly and you may find yourself looking for work !


The Elf October 25, 2012 at 9:54 am

Elle, the reason people are saying “it’s not pornography” is because there’s a difference between pornography and erotica. There’s a further difference between those and images/video/books that contain sex but whose primary focus is not sex. I can think of a lot of movie and books scenes that are pretty steamy! There’s a lot of blurring of the lines, but I think it’s safe to put 50 Shades in the erotica category.

And being a more family-friendly printed page vs images/video does make a huge difference with regards to reading/viewing the material in public.

BTW, is this the E-Hell post that has generated the most comments? If not, it’s got to be close!


Cassandra October 25, 2012 at 11:16 am

I agree that what people read in their own home is their choice. If they want it to be in full view of everyone, who are you to judge?
But comparing 50 shades to porn is pretty silly. I have read VC Andrews books with more erotic stories and torrid relationships. I know a handful of people who said “Oh I can’t read a book like that” I explained the plot to them, they read them and loved them! The books are seriously not as naughty as people are making them out to be!


Andie October 25, 2012 at 11:30 am

Keep it classy? For the housekeeper? For all you know, your clients do stash their books away when guests come over– which is what you’re not, you’re the housekeeper.

And frankly, it’s not cool to bother people reading in public, no matter what they’re reading. They’re not reading in the hopes that some stranger starts a conversation with them, they’re reading because *gasp* they like it.


Betty October 25, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I’m picturing the next meeting of the church book club, when they discuss Fifty Shades of Grey.


Enna October 25, 2012 at 3:25 pm

50 Shades of Grey is erotic FICTION not pron where there are real nake women/men doing naughty stuff (personally I don’t like but if people want to look at the soft stuff that is their choice in the privacy of their own homes). OP if you are that worried then look for work elsewhere. I’ll say it again 50 shades is a work of fiction, make believe and it is not graphic pictures so there is a big difference. I haven;t read it but from what I’ve heard it’s not well written. A firend has brought it for me for my birthday, it’s going to be the last thing I read and I’ve got a lot of books to read!

NEVER judge the victim OP. I like the comment about reading crime novels – I’m not asking to be murdered either! Bullies and harrasers don’t need an excuse to do harm they don’t need a reason. If your employees had porn posters or violent or racist litreature around that would be different.


Angela October 25, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I was told a funny story that is relevant…a friend had bought her grandmother (!!) a copy of 50 when it was first popular, not knowing exactly what it was about. When she found out, she called her grandmother to apologize profusely.
Turned out Grandma had read it, recommended it to several friends and it was on the schedule for their book club. Older women are not the delicate flowers we like to think that they are.


CherylC October 25, 2012 at 6:27 pm

For those who are assuming the OP is a Christian because she said something about “our church”, I would like to point out that going to church doesn’t make someone a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes someone a car. I haven’t read 50 Shades of Gray or any of the Gray trilogy and judging from many of the comments I’ve read here and other places about its level (or lack thereof) of writing, I don’t plan to read it. I don’t judge the people who have read it and really don’t feel inclined to pray for them and I do consider myself a Christian. I’m busy enough praying for my own sins. OP should just be an employee and do her job and not gossip about what she uncovers. People have already referenced the “Those without sin, throw the first stone.”. I would only add (to paraphrase) “Worry about the beam in your own eye before worrying about the speck in someone else’s eye”.


mpk October 25, 2012 at 6:47 pm

glad i read the comments because i won’t bother reading the book since most say that it’s boring.

won’t comment about the op because everyone expressed the way i felt – nosy.

@cat – i think it depends on how close you are to this woman and the type of relationship you two have. If you think bringing up what you found would bring out joint laughter then go for it. If you think she would be embarrassed, then i’d hold onto it for awhile in case she remembers and asks for it. If she doesn’t, then i’d just discard it.


Emmy October 26, 2012 at 9:59 am

When I’m at home and I’m reading a book (regardless of genre), I pretty much put it down wherever I’m at without much thought. Which means I might have erotica on my coffee table, horror in the bathroom, and chick-lit by my bed. Simply because I was reading in the living room, in the bathroom, or in bed, regardless of genre. If I could afford to hire someone to clean for me (and lord would I love to be able to), I wouldn’t think to run around before hand picking things up. I’m hiring someone to clean up for me. To me that’s like ordering a cake from a bakery and then baking one yourself to bring with you when you go pick it up…so the people there understand you can bake you choose not to. So yes, I probably have something smutty on my coffee table right now. I’m an adult woman. It’s my right to read about smutty interactions between other adults. You have the choice to not come into my house. If that means you quit a job you’re doing for me, then again, that’s your choice.

Of course, I can tell you on my coffee table I have a Suicide Girls book (for those who don’t know it’s nude/barely clade women with tattoos and pircings, often with a “pin-up” look to them), almost always there. I also have framed pictures of nude men/women showing off tattoos and pircings (more females then males, but the dudes are represented), I like them, I think they’re artistic, so I have them hanging in my home.

I’m guessing OP would quit working for me pretty darn quickly.

I have to say the comment about men approaching women in public feels to me like an “she’s asking for it” type thing. Like if a woman goes to a bar alone, or wears a short skirt, or is out at night, she’s asking for men to come on to her, if she gets taken advantage of, she’s asking for it. If she reads an adult novel in public, and man approaches her and won’t take no for an answer, she’s asking for it. None of which is true. Men can understand the word no.

This reminds me of the Sex and the City episode where Merrand’s maid finds her vibrator in her night drawer and replaces it with a statue of the Virgin Mary. Only to at the end of the episode realize she was out of line and arrange a lovely display of condoms for her instead.


Kendo_Bunny October 26, 2012 at 11:38 am

Most people wouldn’t describe pedophilia as kinky, just as nasty, and illegal. I don’t think that’s what’s springing to mind when people say the nastiest porn they can think of. If you discovered something pedophilic, you would be under a moral imperative to document it and report it to your local police department.

But that leaves out anything consenting adults choose to do, or if they like the animated stuff that often has much more graphic scenes than real life allows.


Justin October 26, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Anything child porn or pedophelia crosses the line from what consenting adults do to exploitation of children. You also become an accomplice if you are aware of it and don’t report it. Finding child porn is an automatic FBI phone call no exceptions.
I’ve been lucky in my field never to find any, but I know people who have. It is not something that you have the right to ignore.
However anything made by consenting adults and consumed by consenting adults is their business.


Library Diva October 26, 2012 at 4:13 pm

While OP’s clients should definitely not be in the position of “cleaning up for the house cleaner,” I think some commentors have blown her original post out of proportion. Nowhere did it say that she was telling others what she found in the house or confronting her clients. She simply said that she felt uncomfortable seeing the book in her clients’ homes, especially when their interest in the book was at odds with her image of them. If this is her field, though, she needs to make peace with this. I’ve known people who clean for a living, and have come across evidence of all kinds of things their clients generally doesn’t put on display to their friends and possibly even their family.

I also don’t think OP meant that any woman reading this book in public is asking for a sexual assault. I think OP believes it may put them at greater risk for unwanted advances, but given the repeatedly affirmed widespread popularity of this book, I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. Especially given the fact that women routinely get unwanted attention just going about their business. That guy who wanted to marry me and take me to Chuck E Cheese had no reason for yelling that out other than the fact I was female, for example.


Cat Whisperer October 26, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Angela said: “…Turned out Grandma had read it, recommended it to several friends and it was on the schedule for their book club. Older women are not the delicate flowers we like to think that they are.”

I remember some comedian, I think it was Eddie Murphy, who said: “Old ladies are cool. You gotta be cool to get to be an old lady!” And he went on, as I remember, to make the point that most older women who haven’t spent their lives in something like a convent have pretty much seen it all, so to speak, by the time they get to be an old woman.

At the same time, most young people really don’t like to imagine that anyone over the age of 60 has an existence below the navel. Maybe that’s why the idea of someone elderly reading anything remotely suggestive, let alone erotic or actually pornographic, triggers cognitive dissonance in so many of them. What the hey, I can remember the shock I felt as a teen-ager when I made a smart remark that had a sexual innuendo in front of my grandmother, and I realized that she not only actually understood it but thought it was funny. Definitely a moment when my perception of older people changed forever.


MonkeysMommy October 27, 2012 at 7:34 pm

I Work in a busy medical office, where patients have IV treatments and often bring reading material- guess what we saw the most here lately?? But since most of our staff read, and loved, the series no one was upset or offended.

Oh- and I’m Mormon. And I wasn’t offended. Not all “Christians” are upright. Thanks.


Cher630 October 28, 2012 at 8:45 pm

I think the OP needs get the stick out of her bum! That book series, while yes, heavy on the sex, isn’t pornography. The cover does not show anything but a tie, cufflinks, or a mask. Nothing to say what the book is about.

I think that I should be allowed to keep whatever I wanted in my own house, in plain view of whoever I want. Hell, if I wanted Playboy to stay out on the coffee table, I would do that too! The OP has no right to say what stays out when she is WORKING for her clients. If she is that uptight, she should request to work for someone who is just as uptight.


Sarah October 29, 2012 at 1:15 am

@Peas: “Honestly, this crosses the line from politeness to prudishness.”
^I agree.

Reading Playboy/watching porn and reading 50 Shades in public are different because while it’s easy to accidentally walk by and see an unwanted image/clip, it’s awfully hard to read a chunk of text. The cover of the book isn’t risque at all. Of course, since we know what the book is about, we can’t help but make passing judgments on the character of the people we see reading it, but that passing judgment should just be that- passing, quick and uncontrollable. I think it’s rather rude of the OP to take her discomfort to EH, and I’m rather surprised that this post was published.

Anyway, echoing many of the sentiments of the other comments, as an employee, OP should do her job and mind her own business.


VZG October 31, 2012 at 11:49 am

I laugh at the idea of that book as pornography. The sex is barely even “graphic” — although it involves certain tastes some consider extreme, most scenes sound like they’re being spoken of by grade school girls (they did “it” and body parts are referred to as “there”).

And I’m a little bothered by the idea that it’s comparable to visual pornography. Erotic literature is not going to impress itself on the mind of children who walk by while someone is reading it; if left open on a table one would have to actually get up close and read the words to get an idea that it’s even about sex. It can also be enjoyed without extreme outward reactions, whereas people who aren’t into Playboy for the articles are a bit more likely to need some privacy to enjoy their pictures. Ultimately, aside from the popularity of the book, there’s nothing to give away its content, and the idea that people should shuffle it away into some dark crevice to be ashamed of is a bit silly. If they had the book on an eReader the writer here would never even have known.

The message here also seems to carry the implication that women reading about sex is equal to men staring at naked women. Problematic, much? Are men really to be allowed that much more before their sexuality is put in a corner? Please, no. I’m not a fan of this book by any means (its title alone makes me cringe, personally) but I’m also not a fan of the idea that “proper” women should pretend they’re all asexual while men get to do as they please. I realize that may seem like an extreme leap, but it only takes small moments of restriction to ultimately find yourself in such extreme places; a foot is made up of inches, a dollar of cents, etc.


Jemé Deviny November 8, 2012 at 5:44 pm

My twenty-eight year old daughter-in-law brought 50 Shades of Gray to Sunday Family Dinner and sat there reading it during dinner and completely ignoring the other guests including her two young children.

That was an etiquette from hell evening for me personally.


Christina November 12, 2012 at 4:45 pm

@Kathryn- awwww that’s so cute! “Reading it for blogs and skipping the erotic parts.” Oh sweetie, honey… They totally aren’t, hate to break it to you. While I’m at it, guys actually don’t just read Penthouse “for the articles.” (Not to compare 50 SofG to Penthouse. Just comparing excuses for owning them.)

And I know you put that disclaimer above your post…wow, I’m sure glad I don’t fall into the “Christian conservative” category, because that would mean that I would be on the receiving end of a lot of intrusive, damaging advise. It’s amazing what people do to other people while using God as an excuse.

That’s really all I’m going to say, because otherwise I might get too sex-positive and liberal on that comment. (Or shall I say, “adulterous and sinful.” I always forget that women aren’t supposed to be interested in sex…)

OP: get over it. It’s not porn, but most of all, it’s not your business.


Christina November 12, 2012 at 4:46 pm

@Jemé Deviny : that sounds horrible. Doesn’t matter what the book is, that is so rude!!


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