We Are Entitled To Halloween Candy

by admin on October 31, 2012

This is a note delivered to a homeowner in Oshawa, Ontario.

But the homeowner didn’t deliver any candy, instead he posted the note on Kijiji saying he is looking for the author.

“Dear Children of Entitlement (and likely their parents),” starts the Kijiji post. “You have gone ahead and reminded me of why I do not want children, and why I weep for the future.”

The homeowner says he was not home on Halloween and has bought a huge amount of candy, which he will enjoy with his friends on Saturday.

Update:  Homeowner gets and apology from letter writer.  Read here.

{ 99 comments… read them below or add one }

PM October 31, 2012 at 6:08 am

They would hate my neighborhood. Though there are about thirty houses on two connecting streets, so many of us go to “trunk or treat” events at our various churches that only two or three houses hand out candy. I can only imagine the notes we would get.

Reply

Bint October 31, 2012 at 6:20 am

What a foul little note this is – and yes, I too suspect that parents were involved, with some of them stupid enough to think this is cute or funny rather than invasive, inappropriate and (‘since you’re a mister and probably don’t know’) bigoted.

In fact, having read it again, I’m 99% sure this came from parents. It just doesn’t read like a child has written it at all. It absolutely stinks.

Reply

o_gal October 31, 2012 at 6:29 am

I love how they chastise him for not making home made candy apples in the first paragraph, then they tell him that he can’t just give them apples in the PS because they’re not allowed to have anything not packages. The parents need to get their story straight :-)

Reply

--Lia October 31, 2012 at 6:42 am

My first thought when I read this was that it was funny. I’m not sure why it struck me that way, but it seemed like a nice tribute to the neighbor the kids remembered and a welcome to the new neighbor they hoped they’d like as much. I’m sorry the new guy took it so seriously instead of buying a bag of the bitesize treats available at the supermarket, handing them out, and making much of each costume. I love Halloween because it gives me a chance to greet every neighbor. I don’t do anything special as far as decorations or treats (just the usually wrapped candy), but I do say hello and wish everyone a happy Halloween. If someone said something about liking the candied apples the last lady gave out, I’d say “you must miss her” and open a conversation about liking the neighborhood.

Reply

Esmeralda October 31, 2012 at 6:43 am

It could have been so much worse. My stepfather used to hand out notes to trick-or-treaters detailing why we, as religious folk, did not celebrate their demonic holiday, and urging them to abandon their evil ways and embrace our faith. Now, try to imagine how bad our house got egged every year!

Reply

Andi October 31, 2012 at 6:45 am

Really?? REALLY???? I’m too stunned to one up with anything.
To demand some one continue a tradition from the previous owners? What if that tradition was a huge summer cookout or Christmas party? Who obligates a total stranger? I wonder how long the “new” person has lived there and if anyone tried to make friends before this demand

We didn’t “do” Halloween when I was a kid – lights off, no problem. Even now same rules apply

Reply

Ripple October 31, 2012 at 7:02 am

This is definitely not little kids. Maybe teenagers. Hallowe’en with an apostrophe (even if it is in the wrong place)? “Come to think of it”? This sounds like a 16-17 year old.

Reply

Coralreef October 31, 2012 at 7:12 am

o-O… What!?! I too weep for the future of humanity after reading this.

Reply

KHR October 31, 2012 at 7:30 am

Lia,
I would understand your position better if the man had been home, but he hadn’t. There isn’t a rule that says one must be home to hand out candy on Halloween. It’s something nice to do, but there’s no requirement, and to think there is would be pure entitlement. There might be many reasons he didn’t hand out candy besides he wasn’t home- religious reasons, financial reasons, he was sick and didn’t want to get up every two minutes… it doesn’t really matter because it’s not the neighbors place to know or judge. Most places I know have a porch light policy- the light is on if they have candy, off if they don’t, and you walk past the ones with no candy with no ill will towards them because there’s enough to go around elsewhere.
What happened to the days where you brought a plate of cookies or a casserole to the new neighbor to welcome them to the neighborhood?

Reply

sidi-ji October 31, 2012 at 7:52 am

This note is mildly funny. The “contradiction” of missing the candied apples but cautioning the new owner not to offer apples is the final clue.

Reply

guest October 31, 2012 at 7:55 am

Hallowe’en with the apostrophe is the traditional spelling, a contraction for All Hallows Eve.

Reply

The Elf October 31, 2012 at 8:00 am

I swear I’ve read this note before…..

It is funny, but it also makes me want to smack the entitlement out of those kids.

I love Halloween and I love trick-or-treaters. But if you don’t want to participate, you are under no obligation too. Just turn off your light. The kids can go elsewhere. Kids figure out pretty quickly which houses have the best treats.

Reply

The Elf October 31, 2012 at 8:03 am

Esmeralda, what your father did was really rude. I hate it when people use Halloween as a chance to prosletyze or to harrangue others’ religious beliefs. It’s patronizing, and would make me far less likely to join their church than anything else. I know you aren’t defending it (and egging the house is also wrong), but that sort of thing really makes me batty.

Reply

egl October 31, 2012 at 8:05 am

I’d be tempted to stay home and hand out toothbrushes the next year if I got a note like that.

If the parent who wrote this really wanted their kids to get more candy, well, I hear it was going cheap, so maybe they should have just bought some more.

Reply

Lo October 31, 2012 at 8:08 am

@Esmeralda

LOL! Sounds like my family when we lived down south. My mother wasn’t the type to hand out Chick tracts but she didn’t allow us to celebrate the “devil’s high holy night”. They did give out candy so all the neighborhood kids would parade by in their costumes and peek in at the two glum kids (my brother and I) sitting on the couch in our everyday clothes.

This is really shameless and tacky. I feel sorry for kids who have the kind of parents that would do this sort of thing and pin it on them. Definitely no way a kid wrote this.

Reply

Jays October 31, 2012 at 8:10 am

It always makes me sigh when people hold up one example of ridiculousness or ill manners (and if true, this is a doozy) and point out smugly that this is why they “do not want children” or “weep for the future.”

Bad manners are nothing new and there are many of us out here who are trying very hard to raise responsible, polite kids. It’s not easy, and it takes a lot of time and work. I have to grit my teeth when people act like we’re all raising hoodlums with not a care in the world.

Also, there are many reasons for not wanting children and it’s a very personal decision. But don’t act like some modern-day cloud of ill manners will cause your future children to be monsters from birth. Their manners are what YOU make of them.

Reply

Ergala October 31, 2012 at 8:20 am

We aren’t passing out candy this year. We’re new to the neighborhood and some areas can be kind of rough. My husband works evenings (from 4pm to 3am) and I am home alone with our two small children. We don’t want people knowing I’m home alone. The trick or treating we are doing is a community wide event that involves the local businesses. They close down main street and all the stores do candy or other various things. There are hotdog and popcorn vendors, hot cocoa, music, apple cider….and it’s all free. We had considered doing a bowl outside but our neighbor told us if we did that the first group of kids would just dump the whole bowl into their bags….usually at the encouragement of their parents.

Reply

Virg October 31, 2012 at 8:21 am

This note isn’t serious, or if it is, it’s the work of some teenager with a dry sense of humor. There’s no way that kids of the usual age to be trick-or-treating got together and authored something like this, and if it makes the recipient weep for the future then he’s overextending. Someone played a trick on him, which seems reasonable given the holiday.

Virg

Reply

Penguin October 31, 2012 at 8:42 am

This must be a joke, with the type or writing and the contradiction about home made goods and delivering on Saturday (to whom?).

Reply

nk October 31, 2012 at 9:02 am

@Lia: Why do you think he should go out and buy them candy? If he gives in to their rude demands (and yes, it is very rude to scold someone for not giving you something that’s voluntary to give), he would be reinforcing their gimme-pig behavior and their inappropriate sense of entitlement.

Reply

Andie October 31, 2012 at 9:03 am

Getting little notes from neighbors who won’t even talk to me is irritating in and of itself. The PS takes the cake, though. I can’t imagine this guy going from house to house and dropping off bags of candy just because an anonymous letter writer told him to do so.

Reply

Goldie October 31, 2012 at 9:05 am

I would disown my kids if they wrote that note. (Exaggerating, but not by much). Actually, like a few other commenters, I think this note was written by an adult (big words, reference to candy sales). I doubt that it was a 16-17-year-old — I have one of those, and from watching him and his friends, they have other things to do than to harass strangers for candy. My 17yo is actually going trick-or-treating this year, but that’s mostly for nostalgic value. Definitely not for candy, which he can buy “too much of” on his own! My guess is, the note was written by a parent of preteen kids that were upset because there were no candy apples. Parent couldn’t bear to see their children upset, like we all do. But, instead of explaining to them that Halloween is not about candy, this parent decides to write a note. I hope they enjoy their newfound fame — I googled “Children of Entitlement” and got about 1,000 results.

Also, how on earth would they be “pretty much out of candy” by Saturday? When my kids were young enough to go trick-or-treating, the candy lasted them till Christmas and I used to take some of it to work too to share with my coworkers. Maybe “mister” should give them Tums on Saturday, along with his dentist’s business cards, sounds like they’ll need them.

Reply

Rap October 31, 2012 at 9:43 am

It was parents. Little kids aren’t going to type up a note. Teenagers aren’t going to be looking for candied apples. It was parents who were probably mad that someone in the neighborhood wasn’t participating up to their standards and wanted to send a message.

Reply

ferretrick October 31, 2012 at 10:02 am

The apples aren’t allowed isn’t difficult to explain-might be the previous neighbor was well known and trusted so her apples were allowed, whereas a stranger’s wouldn’t be. I do think it was at least an older child who wrote this, but I’d tend to laugh it off. It’s certainly a lot better than some retaliation I’ve heard of by kids against people who won’t give out candy.

Reply

Wendy October 31, 2012 at 10:13 am

Why post on Kijiji? Why not the local newspaper? :o)

Reply

Kovi October 31, 2012 at 10:14 am

Well stated, KHR. I, too, was shocked with Lia’s comment.

There’s never any obligation whatsoever to hand out candy on Halloween. I’m going to guess the reason why the ‘mister’ did not stay home and do so was simply because he’s probably not a kid person (as mentioned in the information), which is his own business. Of course I could be wrong, but it’s his own business. The parents need to firmly stick their noses back in their own business.

Reply

amyasleigh October 31, 2012 at 10:16 am

sidi-ji, I maybe see where you’re coming from. Trying to be as charitable as possible: I suppose the note could be seen as an attempt at humour — IMO, misplaced and failing to be very funny — perpetrated by someone other than small kids. Had I been the recipient, I would, predominantly, not have found much humour in the thing. Evil me would have been toying with a rather large assortment of highly non-eHell-approved responses to this communication.

Reply

La October 31, 2012 at 10:20 am

It’s always so much tackier when stuff like this is dressed up in cutesyness.

Also, they spelt Hallow’een wrong.

Reply

Adelaide October 31, 2012 at 10:21 am

I don’t find this amusing no matter what light it’s cast in. I assume it was written by adults, as most kids of trick-or-treating age wouldn’t slip “rectify” or the contraction for “All Hallow’s Eve” (Hallowe’en) into a note.

If you look at it literally, it’s “kids” demanding free candy for no reasons other than the previous owner set the bar high. Further talking points include a sexist insinuation about how the owner can’t cook, a comment that they don’t want chips because they get too many of them, and the demands that a) the owner only give out packaged food and b) the suggestion that the owner actually give out candy after Halloween.

If you look at it like it’s supposed to be “funny”, it isn’t. At the end of the day, regardless of content, it’s still saying “You didn’t give us free candy and that’s wrong”. It’s mind-boggling how anyone typing this up would think it was a good idea. I don’t care that it was a (failed) attempt at humor, the very fact that they’re commenting on something that would be both free and given at the owner’s discretion is foul.

Reply

Page October 31, 2012 at 10:23 am

I agree that the letter is entitled sounding, but I have a feeling it’s fake. It sounds exactly like the kind of fun e-mail story that gets passed around. Something about the language (Miss Toby, you’re a mister) made me think of Tom Sawyer. I’m a teacher and it just doesn’t sound like the way kids write today. If it is real, then it’s horribly rude. If it’s fake, someone is very creative.

Reply

TylerBelle October 31, 2012 at 10:24 am

I remember in the neighborhood I grew up in, for a few years, two ladies who lived right next door to each other would dress up like witches and in front of the space between their houses, set up a table with a cauldron-like bowl and hand out punch to trick-or-treaters. I doubt something as that can be done much nowadays. It never crossed the mind to go complain when they no longer were doing it.

As mentioned, what really gets me about this tacky note is the juxtaposition of whining they didn’t get apples, to oh yeah, you aren’t supposed to give them to us anyway. It also reeks of either parents or someone older than young children being involved.

Reply

Adelaide October 31, 2012 at 10:24 am

Also, he has received an apology from the person who authored the letter:

http://www.torontosun.com/2011/11/09/oshawa-man-gets-apology-for-halloween-letter

Reply

Lucky October 31, 2012 at 10:31 am

Why people do or do not hand out Hallowe’en candy is nobody else’s business.

I love Hallowe’en but we quit handing out candy because our street got so little traffic. There is a busy (very dangerous for pedestrians) commercial road at the end of our block, and there is a park on one side of the streets (so there is only one side of the street with houses). Two houses are unoccupied. There aren’t that many left and kids’ time is better spent on the rest of the subdivision. We get a flurry of teenagers early in the evening, and then a few kids–sometimes in costume, often not–whose parents I swear collect every spare baby they can find and try to convince us to give extra “for the babies” (for the other kids and adults, I presume). I play dumb: Babies don’t need candy. If I gave candy to every un-costumed, can’t-even-eat-solid-food-yet baby that showed up on the sidewalk (the parents/relatives/adults never bring them to the door), I’d have to buy three times as much. Sorry. No costume, no teeth, no candy.

Reply

JD October 31, 2012 at 10:41 am

Am I too suspicious or did that last comment about candy being cheap now hint that he was too big of a tightwad to give out candy? Just a cheap, unfriendly man, is that what they are calling him?
If he was gone, he may have left his porch light on for himself, so he wouldn’t come home to a dark house. Again, it’s his choice to answer the door or not, and not their business. And yeah, some parents wrote that, in my opinion. No little kids wrote that, and teens would have just soaped his windows or toilet papered his yard if they got ticked off.

Reply

Amber October 31, 2012 at 10:43 am

Lia,

I’m sorry, but “welcome to the neighborhood — now give us the appropriate candies!” would illicit nothing but a scowl from me and possibly a quick scan by evilAmber of the children involved to make a note of which children don’t get candy the following year.

Reply

VZG October 31, 2012 at 10:49 am

@–Lia

One, he wasn’t home. Two, you don’t reward entitlement. Three, that’s HIS money to spend the way he likes, and absolutely NO ONE is required to hand out anything on Halloween (or any holiday, even if it’s one you personally enjoy). Four, although a neighborhood community is nice, it’s not always what one wants/enjoys or a good idea. Five, “we think that is just wrong and would like you to rectify the situation” doesn’t come off as funny or charming, even if they were trying to be.

Personally, I think this sounds like a parent wrote it. Unfortunately, that likely means they’re teaching their kid(s) that they deserve nice things for free from the people around them, too. Hopefully it was one parent only, and the other parents of the neighborhood would think poorly of the note as well.

Reply

LovleAnjel October 31, 2012 at 10:51 am

At best, a parent or older sibling listened to kids grouching and decided to share what they said with the new neighbor. The wording is much too advanced for the average trick-or-treater (“rectify this for next year”). I could see this shared verbally as a “Can you believe what the neighbor brats said about you?!”, but the written note doesn’t come off the same way. Perhaps it is meant to be a warning about the neighbor kids in general.

A less generous interpretation is that a parent is honestly wanting to convey their children’s feelings of entitlement, and does not realize how ridiculous it is.

Reply

Lychii October 31, 2012 at 11:14 am

This note (clearly written by adults) is trying to be cute and failing.

The audacity! If analyzed, you can see the LW is calling him stupid, then a bit of a guilt trip, complaint, unwanted advice, assumptions about cooking skills, complaint, a detailed shopping list and finished off with home delivery demands and money management advice.

Really, how can one short letter manage to come off THAT rude and entitled?

Reply

Abby October 31, 2012 at 11:19 am

Normally I hate entitlement of any kind, but I see this letter more as a joke and I think New Neighbor took it way too seriously.

Reply

LilyG October 31, 2012 at 11:23 am

My first thought is it was a joke. Do you think that could be it? It’s hard to believe any kids would act that entitled.

Reply

thlayly October 31, 2012 at 11:32 am

There is no way children wrote this note. The voice is far too mature sounding- like an adult playing at sounding like a child and failing miserably. Obviously the parents wrote something up to chastise their new neighbor for not “thinking of the children.”

This note is so ludicrously entitled and demanding- the neighbors certainly gave a memorable first impression to this gentleman! I can’t imagine being so entitled as to write out and deliver a demand for Halloween candy!

Reply

Michellep October 31, 2012 at 11:37 am

@Lia, you’re kidding, I hope. He is under no obligation to hand out candy or do anything else for kids in that neighborhood.

@KHR, I love your last sentence and agree with it completely. I try to do that often, and people look at me like I’m crazy.

One Halloween I did the trunk or treat with my toddler daughter at our church, and got home fairly late. My doorbell rang at nine thirty that night, and when I didn’t answer it I got pounding and repeated rings and screams of “please”. Good grief.

Reply

Calli Arcale October 31, 2012 at 11:38 am

Part of me wonders whether or not it’s a hoax. I could totally see some self-righteous entitled tweens writing a letter like this, but that’s exactly why I find myself suspecting it. We love to find confirmation of our biases, even the biases that we try to pretend we don’t have.

That said, my neighborhood (with tons of kids) is one of those with a porch light policy — if the lights aren’t on, they aren’t handing out treats. There are tons of other places they might be, and no reason to get upset given how many other people hand out treats in the neighborhood. And I think most parents in the neighborhood would be mortified if they found out their kids had written a letter like this. If my kids did, they’d be grounded for a long time, and made to apologize in person.

Reply

Bint October 31, 2012 at 11:39 am

“a welcome to the new neighbor”

In what way is this a welcome? Nowhere does it remotely welcome this man. It just demands things from him. Ultimately, for all the intended ‘joke’ here, the message is clear: he is expected to buy candy for Hallowe’en. Someone actually went to the trouble of typing this out and shoving it through his letterbox – it’s actually a passive-aggressive order with an attempt at humour to mask it and it’s not welcoming, it’s downright rude.

“I’m sorry the new guy took it so seriously”

I don’t think he ‘took it seriously’. He just didn’t think it was funny. If some people I had never met typed up a note like this and put it through my door for me to find, I wouldn’t find it funny either. Hiding behind a children’s ‘joke’ to tell him what to do? Yeah, welcome to the neighbourhood indeed.

Reply

June First October 31, 2012 at 11:47 am

I hope the homeowner posts this letter on his door with a sign along the lines of:
“Dear Children of the Hood,
If you are old enough to write this letter, then you are too old to trick-or-treat!”

Reply

Another Alice October 31, 2012 at 11:54 am

Uggghh!!! I would host a Halloween bonfire with my friends, with this note as the first bit of fuel.

My parents are ready to just stop handing out candy all together in our suburban neighborhood. It started when they realized other homeowners were coming to the end of their driveway, setting up lawn chairs, and giving kids candy from there. “Really?” they thought. “The kids can’t even bother coming up the driveway and ringing the doorbell to get their candy?” Then, they stopped saying thank you. Just hold their bags out at the end of the driveway, let the people drop it in, and then move on. Like they’re grocery shopping or something! (Except that I think most polite people tend to even say “thank you” to the cashier at the store.) My mom said they’re actually considering not even handing out candy this year, which would be a shame, as her own kids don’t live at home any more and I’m sure it’s fun for her to see kids in their costumes. The best year was when a parent was taking their child around, dragging a red wagon behind them – a red wagon filled with beer that they drank as they escorted their child. Classy!

Actually, I’ve talked with a few people who hate Halloween, and the idea of greedy kids is their first reason as to why. It’s my favorite holiday, and I can’t think of a better way (besides Christmas/birthdays) to teach kids about politeness and saying “Please” and “thank you” than this. You’re not only getting candy, but I’m sure adults are saying how cute/scary/good your costume is as well, and it’s a nice exercise on learning how to talk to people.

Reply

cathy October 31, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Where’s the note?? all I see is the commentary.

Reply

AIP October 31, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I’ll start off first by saying “Lá Fhéile Samhaine maith dhoibh go léir” (a happy Samhain festival to you all) or Happy Celtic New Year.

Although I am a Christian, I treat Halloween/ Samhain as my New Year and I love it. So it is for this reason that I find this really irritating, as I’ve a horrible feeling that it will eventually make its way back across the Atlantic and I’ll have to deal with this dumb@ssery. I’m delighted that the US and Canadian influence helped save this ancient Celtic festival, but I am saddened that it has also corrupted it in ways I don’t like (the “trick” like egging houses if the ransom isn’t paid is a complete anathema to me) and I would hate to see it over here.

Now, when I was a chisler (child) we actually got money – about 5-10 pence which was a kings ransom for a kid in Ireland in the 80s (this was not universal, other places in Ireland got sweets). But we had to perform a song or a poem to get that – similar to the tradition of going on the “wren” on St. Stephen’s day, with Halloween being for younger children. Some people of my era remember saying “trick or treat”, but I don’t think we really did. I think we’d just say that we were there for the Samhain or at a stretch “Happy Halloween”.

But the kids were certainly not “entitled” to anything, and there were plenty of other houses to go around (oh and in those days, you had to put in the legwork – nobody would have been impressed by being walked or driven around by adults. How times change!).

This kind of leads me onto something Esmerelda’s comment. It’s such a pity that her stepfather really had no clue what he was on about. The whole connection with the devil, Satanism and what-have-you is nothing to do with the ancient festival of Samhain or the Christian adaption of it as All Hallows’ Eve. That is a very new interpretation and I suspect to make respectable WASPs even more suspicious of this Popish Irish/Celtic tradition.

There IS of course a connection with the other side, the realm of the spirit, as it was felt that at this time of year the realm of the physical and spiritual were closer than ever and that the spirits could actually cross over and cause mischief by following people home. That gave rise to the tradition of adults dressing and concealing their identity through face paint and merriment to fool the spirits into thinking that the people were one of them. The purpose of going house-to-house was to further trick the spirits into thinking that spirits either already resided there or would be chased away. So by giving money or sweets you were giving a payment for services rendered, not as a reward for finding the best slutty-elevator-repair-person costume.

Because of that connection with the souls of the departed, the Christian feast of All Hallows was connected with the festival. Much like the feast of Christmas was given the 25th December due to its (alleged) connection with the festival of the Sun-god Solis Invictus and/or the winter solstice.

Reply

Tikal October 31, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I’m pretty sure it’s a joke. Very few children at the moment refer to themselves as ‘children’ . . . especially not if they’re going to say ‘from the hood’.

Reply

Catrunning October 31, 2012 at 12:26 pm

This is the first year I’m not handing out candy. I’m tired of rude trick or treaters that never say thank you, that try to scoop the entire candy bowl into their bags, of adults with their own trick or treat bags, etc. Last year there were scores of families that didn’t even try to get costumed – all they wanted was to walk around and get free candy. And the last thing a lot of those kids need is candy.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: