A few years ago, my husband and I decided to get his mother what we thought would be a very nice and thoughtful gift – a donation in her name to the Breast Cancer foundation. (Her twin sister is a survivor of breast cancer.) We thought it would be appreciated and sent her the card saying that a donation had been made in her name.
Did she appreciate it? No! In fact, her exact words were, “I’m so disappointed. I REALLY wanted something for MYSELF.” As in something for her that she could use/have. This was not a “I know I’m a twin but want to be treated as an individual” matter, she was just being extremely selfish. I couldn’t believe how she reacted. Thank goodness my husband agrees with me and thinks that she is being incredibly selfish.
What do you think? 0813-13
Donations to charities can be a very personal, individualized thing. What you might support, I might not agree is worthy of my money so choosing to “gift” someone with a donation in their name can be presumptuous. It’s not that this particular breast cancer awareness group is bad but to be honest, there are some well-intentioned charities I would not choose to be associated with due to some flaw in their mission statement or how their donated money is allocated. For example, there is one charitable organization that advertises heavily on television and upon investigation we found that too great a percentage of every dollar donated went not to intended “victims” but rather administrative costs and advertising. I found a similar group with a much better ratio of dollars applied to the actual people needing it.
What you did was give a gift that made you happy. Mom should have been gracious and said nothing but obviously your donation to a charity she is obviously not affiliated with was not viewed as a gift. If you feel the need to support breast cancer research, by all means donate to your heart’s content but don’t assume others have the same passion to assist in charitable fundraising with their birthdays used as the opportunity.