I have a friend we will call her Rose for this story. Rose is a single mother with a 17 year old daughter Alexandra. Our mutual friend Lorelei had invited Rose and I to her 50s themed birthday party including Alexandra, Rose’s daughter. This is just one story about Alexandra and her rude behavior towards her mother and others but the one that stands out the most. I am married but we are unable to have children biologically.
I was very much looking forward to the birthday party for months and even had a custom designed poodle skirt made for the occasion. About 3 days before the party Rose telephoned me to suggest that we attend the party together and stay overnight at her home. Rose lives about an hour and a half drive from my home and as the party venue was much closer to Rose’s home I agreed to stay and we arranged I would get ready at home and be at Rose’s by 6:30 pm as the party was at 7:30 pm and only a 45 min drive from Rose’s.
Well, the night arrived and as scheduled I was at Rose’s home at the arranged time with my overnight bag. On arrival Alexandra, Rose’s daughter, was also getting ready for the party but stated she would not be getting dressed up. Rose and I got dressed in our poodle skirts and finally we were all ready to leave. I suggested that I drive, but Rose insisted we take her car. I attempted to chat to Alexandra on the way but she gave one word answers. I can recall we were nearing the party location and looking for a parking space, I distinctly recall looking at the clock in the car which read 7:17 pm. We park and finally arrive at the party. On arrival we greet our friend Lorelei and give our friend her gift. Rose and I look around and do not recognize anyone else and then decide to buy a drink (yes, another time for the drink story but you had to pay for drinks!). I asked Alexandra if she would like a drink. In a rather surly tone she says, “No I don’t”, and proceeds to play with her iPhone. Rose expresses her concern for Alexandra’s well being! I want to say, “Uh, who is the parent here?”, but say nothing… Lorelei comes over and takes photos, Alexandra protests quite rudely and states, “Don’t take my photo”, Rose asks her if she wants her to drive Alexandra to meet up with her friends? Again Alexandra states loudly and rudely, “No I don’t want to be driven anywhere”. I feel like a bit of a fool at this point as I don’t know anyone and my friend Rose continues to become more and more concerned Alexandra is not having a good time and there is limited conversation between Rose and I.
After a while Rose goes up to our friend Lorelei and tells her that we are leaving….. I am just flabbergasted as she did not say anything to me, I don’t know what to say and I am very mindful not to create a scene and not sure what to do. Rose’s house is a good 45 minutes drive from the party and my car is back at her place. Rose tells our friend Lorelei that we are leaving but does not ask what I want and quite frankly I was still in shock. We leave, not a word is said about the surly Alexandra, not an apology or what would you like to do. We return to the car and I note the time is 8:39pm. Not much is said and I am waiting for the apology. Rose decides we should get takeaway pizza and have sodas. I spy the local liquor store and tell Rose I want to buy a nice bottle of wine to have with the pizza, we pull in and make our separate purchases. Surly Alexandra sits pouting in the car, we finally get to the pizza shop and Rose makes sure she orders Alexandra ‘s favorite. Rose does pay for the pizzas and refuses my contribution. We arrive back at Rose’s house and proceed to change and eat pizza and have our drinks. We watch the local government election and make small chatter, Alexandra is a happy girl now…. I wonder why…because her mother gave in and brought her home because Alexandra wasn’t enjoying herself! In hindsight I should not have had a drink because now I cannot drive and I should have just packed up and driven home even if it was 9 pm and a long drive and made my excuses.
The next morning I wake early, I am tired and I really want to go home but Rose and I planned to go out for brunch and I don’t want to be rude. Eventually Rose wakes up and we have breakfast, not a word about Alexandra. Alexandra wakes and grunts at us and goes off to get ready for her weekend job. We go off to brunch but not before we have to drop off Alexandra at her weekend job. Alexandra says not a word in the car nor goodbye then she gets out.
Rose and I continue onto brunch, the conversation is about everything but the party. Rose does confide in me about her daughter’s treatment of her and how she is upset by Alexandra. We head back to Rose’s house and Lorelei telephones, I speak to her briefly, wanting to discuss our abrupt departure but resist with Rose beside me. Rose speaks to Lorelei and the conversation from Rose is, “Absolutely you should unfriend Alexandra on Facebook because of her rude behavior. Thank you for your support and for saying I don’t owe you an apology, Alexandra does.” At this moment I walk away, I realize what a fool I have been and I wonder is it me, was I too sensitive… Expecting an apology from my friend Rose for her rude daughter’s behavior. I leave and make my way home but not before I thank Rose for having me overnight and for dinner. Four months later and I have not had contact from my friend Rose, she has , in fact, unfriended me recently on Facebook, which I am quite relieved about.
Over the past few months I have thought what if, I should have not gone to Rose’s home, I should’ve driven home as soon as we got back to Rose’s, I wonder to this day and I am provably wasting my time, but I wonder why Rose never acknowledged my feelings or gave me an apology. I will give this up now as there is no point dwelling but I will try to speak up in future. hindsight is a great thing. 0112-14
I’m wondering why a 17-year old girl went to a party she clearly had no desire to be at? Couldn’t she have been left at home to stew in her own anti-social juices that night? And it doesn’t sound like anyone of your group was enjoying the party due to not knowing any other guests. It looks to me like Rose conveniently exploited Alexandra’s poor behavior as the reason to bail from a party that turned out to be much less fun than either you or Rose had anticipated.
I find it quite ironic that Lorelei is offended at Alexandra’s rude behavior when the reality may be that Alexandra was texting a submission to Ehell about how she was at a birthday party hosted by the birthday girl and how ungracious it was that the poor suckers (ooops, we mean”guests”) were forced to buy their own drinks. What kind of cheapskate hostess and greedy pig does that?
I don’t see where you had much choice in how this all played out since you were the guest of Rose and basically at her mercy.