Learning The Art of The Humorous or Witty Repartee

by admin on April 22, 2014

My partner and I are friends with another couple, “Jane” and “Bill”. They are both essentially nice people, but Jane is always making tactless and offensive comments to people. She really doesn’t seem to think about what she says before she says it, for example yelling out to everyone at a party that someone has left a bad smell in the toilet. Recently, my partner has been out of work and money is very tight, naturally. Neither of us has bought any clothes apart from underwear or socks for at least a year or more. Jane and Bill are well aware of this fact, although we try not to talk about it when socializing. However, it hasn’t stopped Jane from commenting on how my partner is wearing that same shirt all the time or how I am always wearing the same shoes. These are literally our only “good” clothes for going out, otherwise it’s free t-shirts and track pants. It’s getting quite hurtful to be reminded every time I see her that “you guys haven’t even changed your clothes!”. I think she is trying to be funny, but it always falls flat. We are both struggling with feelings of depression and self doubt over our financial situation so her comments appear to me to be very rude and thoughtless. Am I being too sensitive, or should I say something to her? What would be the best thing to say?  0419-14

I see you are in Australia and not wanting to presume, I’ll ask if there are thrift shops in your area?   If so, try scouring the racks for great deals.   My entire family routinely checks out the thrift stores where they have found some amazing designer clothing in excellent condition and bought for a pittance.

The next time Jane comments about your attire being so repetitive, I would don my best “twinkle in the eye” humorous expression and inquire, “Jane, do I hear an implied invitation from you to take me shopping and buy me a new outfit?  I’m available next Saturday!  Just think of what fun you’ll have outfitting me in new clothes!”    Of course Jane will sputter and deny she implied any such thing.   But that should shut her up and if it doesn’t, you pick up the theme of the implied invitation again,  “I’m pretty certain I heard an invitation from you to buy me new clothes somewhere in your comments.”

As for the “someone left a stinky in the bathroom” comment, in our house we stopped that silliness with the following comeback,  “Whoever blamed it, shamed it.”

{ 64 comments… read them below or add one }

Joanna April 22, 2014 at 8:56 am

Personally, I doubt that the LW and his/her partner acquiring more clothing, regardless of means, will shut up Jane and Bill. I’ve known folks like these, and basically, they will find something to criticize no matter what or where.

No matter how “nice” they may be, the relationship seems a bit toxic and LW may want to limit his/her time with the other couple.

Reply

jeanne April 22, 2014 at 10:14 am

I’m with you, Joanna. These people sound like waay too much work. Jane’s a nasty, rude cow, and if Bill thinks her snarky comments are okay, he’s no prize, either.

LW, find some friends who, at the very least, know the meaning of the word “tact”.

Reply

Sammy April 23, 2014 at 1:58 am

Yeah, I doubt the comment would stop altogether, but more clothing options would do good for OP and partner. It’s not that everyone needs closet full of clothes, but different situations need different clothes and sometimes the clothes must be washed too. If partner gets job interview, suitable clothes must exist etc. Thrift stores are good places to look for. But it may take time and several visits to find good quality in good price. So better search before there is something important set in stone.

Reply

LR April 22, 2014 at 9:19 am

In my opinion, the issue is not OP’s lack of fashion options, it’s Jane’s big, insensitive mouth. It’s really none of her business what OP wears or how often she wears it. I would be inclined to answer in the affirmative, like “Yes, it’s my favorite outfit. I wear it often” or “Thanks. I’m glad you like it.” Sarcasm may just provoke Jane to keep going on the same track.

Reply

Fiona April 23, 2014 at 10:44 am

I agree. In my experience, people make petty criticisms` because they hope to get a reaction. Nothing takes the wind out of their sails faster than your cheerful agreement.

Reply

Fiona April 23, 2014 at 10:47 am

PS If the snide remark came from an acquaintance, I recommend following up with bean-dip. If it came from a stranger, I recommend smiling and saying “Goodbye!”.

Reply

lkb April 22, 2014 at 9:35 am

I guess I’d be inclined to take Jane aside (and Bill too) and tell them how offensive her comments are.

“Hey Jane. Partner and I have been out of work for a year, money is extremely tight. I’m sorry I know you’re just kidding around but your comments are hurtful. Please do not draw attention to our clothes again or we will have to leave.”

This kind of insensitivity needs to be stopped.

Reply

lakey April 22, 2014 at 9:45 am

Regarding thrift shops, in my area there are often new clothes on the racks with some of the tags still attached. I personally have donated clothes that I had bought with the idea that I would lose some weight, or that I never got around to shortening.

As far as Jane’s habit of saying embarrassing things in public, I do think that it would be to her benefit for someone to speak with her alone, and explain to her that she needs to be more careful about what she says. There’s a chance that she might actually change if someone speaks to her about it directly. Then again, she may be so needy for attention that it does no good.

Reply

Angel April 22, 2014 at 9:48 am

Joking around might work–but if the comments continue after that then I would take Jane aside and say something to her like what lkb said. Personally I have known people like this but I limit my interaction with them. The kicker is that she knows your financial situation and yet continues to pick at you. That is not really something a friend does.

Reply

acr April 22, 2014 at 10:03 am

OP, please re-read what you wrote – “Jane is always making tactless and offensive comments to people.”

This is not a nice person. This isn’t an accident. She is repeatedly using other people’s misfortunes to try to make herself look witty and funny.

Reply

JD April 22, 2014 at 10:04 am

You can always try what my mother told me to say when a girl at school always asked me where I got my clothes (my mother sewed most of them and I wasn’t ashamed of that, but I felt a nosiness in her question that made me uncomfortable). She didn’t criticize, she said things like “I like your dress; where did you get it?”, but I still felt something odd in her always, and I do mean always, asking where I got it. My mother told me to say, “Thanks. Why did you want to know?” I tried it, she stuttered a bit and said, “I just wondered….” and that basically stopped her asking. Try asking “Jane”, “Why do you say that?” or “Why — do you see something wrong with the way I dress?” in a purely conversational tone, and see if it helps. If she says something like “I’m just tired of seeing them!” you can always say, “Well, then I guess you’ll have to see less of me, then, because I like to wear these.”

Reply

Calli Arcale April 23, 2014 at 12:42 pm

My mom made a lot of my clothes too, and I was always proud to say that she made them. She’s quite the seamstress.

I like your approach. Flip the question around so the focus is on the nosiness of the question. Some people just have foot-in-mouth disorder and no awareness of boundaries; these people will benefit from being reminded that they’ve crossed a boundary. Others are just Nosy Nellies, and this will put them on notice. The third group is jerks, and there’s really nothing to be done about them, but at least this approach might reveal them for what they are so you can stop wasting* time with them.

*Well, presumably wasting. There must be something redeeming that OP finds in her friend, or I’m sure she would’ve ditched the friendship long ago. In that situation, one has to decide what matters more, I guess.

Reply

AIP April 23, 2014 at 3:09 pm

That’s a good idea. If she still doesn’t “get” it, remind her that hubby’s out of work. If that STILL doesn’t work, a short “knock it off” and repeat ad nauseum until you’re sick of the annoying clothes horse.

Reply

Cecilia April 22, 2014 at 10:10 am

Admin’s comments remind of something I heard years ago, from a young woman whose friend was doing something similar: If you do not like what I am wearing, please feel free to go buy me what you *think* I should wear. I am a size 8.

People like Jane are insensitive and cruel. She knows OP is having a hard time, yet she continues to harp on OP/husband’s clothing. I would do what @Ikb suggest- straight up tell her that she is being rude and insensitive with the remarks. IF that doesn’t work, then I would do as @Joanna suggest and severely limit the time I spend with them.

Reply

Rap April 22, 2014 at 10:17 am

I agree with lkb – why not just take Jane aside and tell her its offensive. If she’s insensitive, she may not realize that her joke is falling flat… and may not get a subtle dig back. If the remarks continue after you’ve asked her to cool it, thats a different story.

Reply

ShinyFun April 22, 2014 at 10:28 am

I wouldn’t bother with a reply. I’d just give her the MM stare and turn away. Jane is not a nice person and I wouldn’t feel it necessary to respond to her “jokes”.

Reply

Shoegal April 22, 2014 at 10:48 am

Yeah, there is always someone who is tactless and points out the obvious. Sometimes, unfortunately, it is done without malice – they just said it out loud and in jest without a thought to who it is hurting. Jane is a friend – I’m sure she isn’t really giving in depth thought to your current limited wardrobe and thinks it is some sort of running joke. Perhaps she thinks she is being “cute” when she really isn’t. I’d be inclined to just tell her – if she is really a friend she’ll stop instantly and apologize.

Reply

mark April 22, 2014 at 10:51 am

With friends like Jane who needs enemies. I’ll resist the urge to psycho-analyze Jane, but she could use a filter between her brain and her mouth. If it is an ongoing thing you need to let Jane know that it bugs you.

Reply

DGS April 22, 2014 at 10:59 am

It depends…if Jane is a truly nice person in other circumstances and socially clueless/awkward, I’d go with the lkb approach above. If she is a vicious and unpleasant individual, simply limit your time with her and Bill and use any of the (fantastic) one-liners above to deflect her insensitivity. I guess, the question is, is she simply clueless but overall, a decent person, or is she mean and spiteful?

Reply

Dee April 22, 2014 at 11:02 am

You classify Jane as a friend? A friend who makes you feel low, and depressed, and shameful? Friends don’t do that on a continual, deliberate basis. This is not someone who empathizes with others. She is not your friend. At best, she is someone you can enjoy some of the time, but cannot most of the time. Sound like a very bad deal to me.

Reply

Dust Bunny April 22, 2014 at 11:28 am

I’m not seeing the “nice” here. This woman sounds like a crass bully. Who else would get their kicks out of embarrassing their friends? I will readily ‘fess up to not being the nicest person in the world, but I wouldn’t dream of saying things like this to get attention at someone else’s expense.

Taking this woman aside and asking per privately, while you’re welcome to try it, is going to fail. She’ll deny she meant it “like that” and tell you to stop being so sensitive. If people like this had the capacity to take responsibility for their words and actions, they wouldn’t be mouthing off in the first place because they would have some insight into the consequences.

Reply

e April 22, 2014 at 11:42 am

I had a friend like that before. Always embarrassing me in front of other people with inappropriate questions and comments for laughs at my expense. Some of her comments had me upset all day long. I did try to “put her in her place” and that would work for a while but then it would right back to where we started. After a while it got to the point where I had to question whether our friendship was worth it. My answer to that was no it was not. Since I was the only one of her friends who received this treatment. Gradually over the course of a few months I stopped answering her calls and hanging around her. And boy let me tell you how much better I felt emotionally. Unfortunately, no matter what you say to them, they are probably going to continue with the comments. You will probably feel better emotionally if you avoid them.

Reply

Mimi April 22, 2014 at 11:57 am

Buying new clothes wouldn’t change these two. Then they’d start mocking you for not buying new clothes sooner.

Reply

Sharon April 22, 2014 at 12:06 pm

Really, she’s a friend?

Reply

Lo April 22, 2014 at 12:16 pm

I would laugh and say “So what?” if someone called attention to the fact that I wear the same clothes all the time. For me, I just don’t value owning a lot of clothes, I’d rather have 3 good outfits and I’d rather spend my money on other things.

It’s so rude that she would even bring that up. Especially since the default assumption about people who wear the same clothes all the time is that they probably can’t afford to do otherwise in which case one should keep one’s mouth shut because it’s like saying “hey, why have you been driving that same old beatup car for years?” or “why haven’t you taken a vacation since I’ve known you?”

What a jerk.

Reply

The Elf April 22, 2014 at 12:27 pm

I agree, humor is often the best way to deal with such insensitivity. Even if it doesn’t stop the behavior, it diffuses the situation. The problem is coming up with a witty response on the spot!

Reply

Cat April 22, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Jane is what was known in my youth as, “Rude, crude, and socially unattractive.” I have little use for someone who wants to spotlight someone else’s problems so as to crow over them.
If she were three years old, one would expect her to know better as she grows older. The writer does not mention Jane’s age, but I would surmise she is over three years old.
So who elected her the fashion police? Or the bathroom monitor? She is way out of line. Since she is not the “gentle hint” sort of a person, one could say, “Jane, you need to stop and think before you speak. It is not your place to constantly criticize other people. What I wear is my business, not yours.”
This may help, but cutting off the friendship and telling her why is probably the only thing you can do. I worked with a woman like this. She told all her family business and, if she knew yours, told yours as well. I finally told her to mind her own business and to keep her nose out of mine.

Reply

wren April 22, 2014 at 1:09 pm

How about “Whoever blames it claims it?”

As for the clothes, I am in that same situation. I have to wear the same (clean) stuff all the time because I am poor. There is no other way to say it. This winter someone observed that I was always wearing the same sweater, so I simply said I couldn’t afford to buy anything new. The truth, simply stated, usually works when someone makes an unkind observation.

Reply

kingsrings April 22, 2014 at 1:25 pm

I also agree that buying new clothes won’t shut Jane up. She’ll simply find something about the new outfits to complain about or move along to being insulting about a different subject. Jane sounds simply like someone who is extremely insecure about herself and tries to make herself feel better by putting others down constantly. If I were the partner and the OP, I would severely limit my time around her, as it’s obviously and understandably upsetting you two a great deal. And when Jane starts insulting your clothing again, simply ask her why she keeps keeping track of what you two wear and how often, and ask her why she feels the need to do this. Also advise her that she might want to find something to occupy her time so she’ll have something better to do than to keep track and observations about what you two wear.

As for people who feel the need to embarrass others by calling out their stink, whether it be bathroom or farts, I agree with the admin that the answer to this is to blame the accusor. “Whomever smelt it, dealt it”, “Whomever named it, claimed it”.

Reply

OP here April 22, 2014 at 1:55 pm

Thanks so much for your advice! We do sometimes go to thrift shops but find it hard to fit my partner who is very tall and broad. I have found some great bargains there. I’m certainly going to try that suggested line of “take me shopping!” that sounds great. It would really trip her up!

Part of me wants to say to Jane that her comments are hurtful but she is genuinely a good person and doesn’t realise she is being tactless. Generally we both get sick of this couple and don’t see them for a few weeks.

Reply

mark April 22, 2014 at 2:40 pm

Something I tell people occasionally is “Do you have something new? You’ve used the humor up in that joke already.”

Reply

Marozia April 22, 2014 at 3:46 pm

Good for you!! Sometimes keeping away from people resets their meter (so to speak).
She sounds like a very insecure person. One of our friends had a habit of saying rubbish like that too, but I put a stop to it by rolling my eyes and saying ‘not this AGAIN!!!’ That soon stopped it.

Reply

Enna May 10, 2014 at 9:32 am

Maybe you should tell her how you feel? If she is a good person then she’ll take those commonts on board and if she does get upset it should be “I’m upset as I’ve hurt someone’s feelings” not the “you are mean upset”.

Reply

kit April 22, 2014 at 2:30 pm

So, seriously, leaving bathroom messy after you is a better etiquette than pointing it out? Will I go straight to etiquette hell if I make my son’s friend to clean up after himself as I plan to do next time I catch him leaving a peed-on seat for me to sit on?

Reply

Cat April 22, 2014 at 8:54 pm

Messy can be fixed. Odor, if there is no window or air freshener, is a different problem. You can’t very well stay in there all night. What would you do? I suppose you could yell, “Someone bring me some air freshener!”

How old is your friend’s son? If he is very young, perhaps she could have the “seat up” conversation. If he is forty, you have my sympathy.

Reply

kingsrings April 23, 2014 at 3:45 pm

I agree with Cat. Smelly events occur in bathrooms. That’s what they’re intended for. Smelliness is different than messiness. Yes of course people should clean up their accidents! But smell happens. Now, if the host(ess) leaves things like air freshener, matches, and candles, then the guest should use them if they stink up the bathroom. That’s being courteous to everyone else.

Reply

Kate April 24, 2014 at 12:19 am

Yes, there is a definite line between messiness and people using the toilet for its intended purpose. I always make sure the bathroom is stocked with toilet paper and air freshener, but beyond that, you can’t really eliminate every smell that is going to occur in the toilet.

Reply

Sammy April 24, 2014 at 7:11 am

Yeah. And some people are not comfortable with all air fresheners. They get headaches or allergic reactions from such smells and prefer the honest smell of poop over migraine.

Enna May 10, 2014 at 9:33 am

I think there is nothing wrong with telling someone on his or her own but to do it in front of everyone is nasty.

hakayama April 22, 2014 at 2:48 pm

“Dropping the rope” does not have to be sudden, but there is no reason why you should WASTE your time, energy and emotions on those folks.
As for what makes people “good”, is a rather subjective scale. Just because they don’t deal drugs or pimp out their mother, does not make them “good people”…
I can relate to the clothes bit, as a frenemy has asked me if I ever buy clothes. My (truthful) answer was that except for socks and undies I had enough to last me for the rest of my life. It did shut her up, but I still would rather not deal with her.

Reply

anon April 22, 2014 at 3:10 pm

Is buying new clothes constantly a thing that people do? Maybe it’s because I grew up kind of poor (or just have zero interest in fashion), but I tend to buy maybe three or four shirts a year, and that’s generally only to replace ones that I’ve worn out. It never occurred to me that wearing the same shirt a few times a year might be a social faux-pas.

Reply

Anonymous April 22, 2014 at 10:02 pm

You have it backwards–wearing the same (clean and appropriate to the activity at hand) shirt multiple times isn’t rude, but making an issue of someone else doing so, is rude. That’s where Jane and Bill messed up.

Reply

CaffeineKatie April 22, 2014 at 3:14 pm

I think her nasty comments deserve nothing but silence–just let her big ole nasty clanger of a comment lay there on the floor until you can hear crickets chirping in the silence. When she doesn’t get the reaction she’s after, she’ll look like a fool all on her own. Maybe then she will learn (doubt it but maybe)

Reply

M April 22, 2014 at 3:31 pm

I know someone like this. She is a very nice person but not comfortable with herself. I could easily see my friend in this situation. I know this sounds silly and like I’m making excuses but generally this person I know would look at your situation and feel bad for you. She might think, “what would make me feel better? Well, if it’s obvious that I don’t have much money I’d want to be upfront about it. I’ll let OP know that I’m “okay” with her being down on her luck by making a friendly joke.”

Yeah, it seems messed up but that is how this person in my life is. I remind her that people generally do not wish to be upfront with their personal negative situation unless they have to be. For instance, if a person has a drinking problem they will likely just opt to decline alcoholic drinks. After all, no one NEEDS to know about the drinking problem and this person is fine with enjoying herself while drinking soda.

My friend, however, wouldn’t be able to handle a situation like this. She would worry about what people were thinking of her. So she’d probably make a stupid “joke” about her situation to prove to everyone that she is okay. She assumes that is the only way to handle this sort of situation and she “helps” by putting herself in this persons position and makes a joke about the situation. Her intention is to come clean and for everyone to know the situation, and for everyone (including the people she’s “joking” about) to share a laugh. Then, she feels, everyone is on the same page and can enjoy themselves. Unfortunately it’s awkward, rude and she doesn’t understand many people PREFER to keep their private struggles private.

The person I know is generally a very nice person and acts with the best of intentions. However, it’s not a mature way to go about life and it’s invasive and unfair. Perhaps you could pull this person aside and say, “You seem to be uncomfortable with my clothes. You and I both know that money is tight and that is why I’m always wearing the same thing. Other people I don’t see often likely don’t notice and I’d prefer to not draw their attention to me. Can you help by not commenting on my clothing?”

Reply

FlyingBaconMouse April 23, 2014 at 6:54 am

I could easily imagine someone like this (although I do wonder if that’s the case in the post, or if the writer is simply dealing with a pair of jerks).

For about a year after my ex and I split up, I had a sitcom-level hard time actually saying the word “divorce”; it surprised the heck out of me, as I have never been opposed to divorce in general or considered it the least bit shameful. That opened my eyes to the idea that, while there are all sorts of things that I believe people *in theory* should not be ashamed to talk about in public, each individual person isn’t going to want to talk about all of them freely all the time.

Reply

LizaJane April 22, 2014 at 3:43 pm

The smeller’s the feller. (fellow)

Reply

Anna Wood April 22, 2014 at 3:47 pm

‘Generally we both get sick of this couple and don’t see them for a few weeks. ‘ That says everything about this ‘friendship’. Stop wasting your time with them and find other friends.

Reply

Michelle C Young April 22, 2014 at 4:16 pm

“Oh, you’re wearing that same outfit again?”
“I KNOW! This stuff is such good quality that it lasts and lasts and lasts! Isn’t it great?”
Even if it’s not that good quality, but you just took good care of it, because you must, it might takes some of the wind out of her sails. Surprise!

Reply

OP here April 23, 2014 at 9:00 am

that’s brilliant! I must try this line. Jane is a good person, just socially inept and anxious, and attempts to cover this anxiety and low self esteem by trying to be “funny”. Usually these comments of hers are followed by long silences, and then someone will start talking about something else. She’ll often say things that are completely obvious such as “you’re wearing lipstick!” which my partner replied with “I just couldn’t stop her”. Other times she is completely lovely. I feel a bit torn!

Reply

gb April 29, 2014 at 4:36 pm

I have a Co worker who must memorize my clothes and makeup, and will comment every. dingle. Time. I wear a new shirt, lipstick I haven’t written in a while… As if I don’t ever shop and I finally bought something, isn’t that cute? No. It’s not. Especially out of a 48 year old ‘ s mouth.

I think if Jane is just socially awkward and not malicious, taking to her on the side will work. Jane is probably so wrapped up in participating in the conversation that she says stupid things.

Reply

phunctor April 22, 2014 at 5:52 pm

This is the old “just kidding” schtick used by emotional sadists everywhere. Avoid.

Reply

missminute April 22, 2014 at 9:20 pm

I’m Aussie and unfortunately thrift shops here can be just as pricey – or more so – than buying clothes at K-Mart or similar. Designer items cannot be bought for a song – they are usually priced more at vintage clothing store or even consignment store prices. They should still have a dig if they can, you can sometimes find a bargain but it’s an effort.

Reply

RooRoo April 22, 2014 at 10:02 pm

I had a friend like this – and yes, she’s a good person and a good friend. (We lost touch when I retired.)

She had no tact at all, and no brain-to-mouth filter. But… people thought she was being insulting, when all that was happening was that her thoughts were falling out of her mouth. The best example I can think of is this: One day, one of the top-notch people, very good at the job, made a small error. She spent the rest of the day saying, “Top-notch forgot thingy! I can’t believe it!” Top-notch got really angry.

I knew her well enough to know that she had no intention of saying anything hurtful, and that it was a sort of backwards compliment. She was commenting on how unusual it was, not trying to rub it in and/or put him down. But Top-notch would hold a grudge… I was going to say “until it died of old age,” but he’d never allow that! and he was a mean person himself and could not see goodness and honesty even if he tripped over it.

I took her aside and told her that Top-notch thought she was insulting him. Unfortunately, that resulted in her saying, “I can’t believe Top-notch thought I was insulting him!” but that was better than before.

Reply

M April 23, 2014 at 3:35 pm

Yup, this sounds like the person in my life. Someone spills on their shirt, she’s going to point it out all day. If someone shows up to work with a zit or blemish – there’s going to be a direct comment about it. Someone forgot to file something? Well that is fodder for the rest of the afternoon. I believe it is insecurity which fuels this behavior. “Joking” with someone, especially about something sensitive, means you are close friends and it gives her a false sense of belonging.

The person in my life pulls this all the time. But she rarely has a serious conversation with the people around her. It’s all finger pointing, laughing and “oh, aren’t we the best of friends.” If she’d compliment half as much as she “jokes” she’d be seen in an entirely different (and better) light.

Most people can accept this in a good natured way. Some might be amused by her. It’s those who are a repeat targets that suffer.

Reply

Rebecca April 22, 2014 at 10:37 pm

“You sure take an unusual amount of interest in my clothes.”

Reply

Cat April 23, 2014 at 6:26 pm

Second line, “Are you hoping I will give it to you?”

Reply

startruck April 23, 2014 at 7:53 pm

i love this one!!

Reply

Brit April 23, 2014 at 2:46 am

I would tell her that I’m wearing the same clothes because I can’t afford new ones. I do tell ‘Janes’ this when they ask and it’s true. If they ask again – “I told you last time, I’m skint.” Jane then looks like the bully she is if she tries it again (they never do).

It’s not shameful being poor through no fault of your own. Everyone has been there. I hope things improve for you, OP.

Reply

cicero April 23, 2014 at 4:09 am

I don’t think that thrift shops and humor are the answer here. The “friend” is very rude. Why do you want to spend time with someone who is so mean and rude?

The OP writes “Part of me wants to say to Jane that her comments are hurtful but she is genuinely a good person and doesn’t realise she is being tactless. Generally we both get sick of this couple and don’t see them for a few weeks.” well first of all, a genuinely good person doesn’t get their jollies by putting other people down. and second of all – doesn’t this tell you something – that you get sick of them and stop seeing them for a few weeks?

Be good to yourself, give yourself an Easter/Passover/Spring gift and “cleanse” yourself and your life from bad vibes.

Reply

Kat April 23, 2014 at 10:17 am

“You haven’t even changed your clothes!” / “You haven’t even changed your joke!”

Reply

Raven April 23, 2014 at 4:02 pm

I used to have a friend like this. After discovering that being around her required me to either drink more or pop Tylenol, just to numb the pain of having to listen to her constant, obnoxious, hurtful blather, I completely ripped her to shreds, once, and cut her loose. That was 4 years ago and I can honestly say I don’t miss her.

OP, call her out and move on. Seriously.

Reply

startruck April 23, 2014 at 7:49 pm

i really cant see how this women is your friend at all. she sounds like a typical bully who is happily enjoying your misfortune and is making her insults seem like jokes so she can get away with it. she probably feels bad about her self in some way, and calling you out about your money problems in front of others just makes her feel better. i wouldn’t be anywhere near this women or her criticism . iam guessing she wasnt like this before you feel on hard times.

Reply

Tracy April 24, 2014 at 10:16 am

I don’t understand why the OP would be short on clothing right now. Even if I didn’t buy anything new for a year, I’d still be able to wear 99% of what I worse last year. So unless OP and partner have lost weight because they can’t afford to eat, or they’re extremely hard on their clothing for some reason, or they sold clothing to pay the rent, they probably have basically the same wardrobes they had before the OP’s partner was unemployed. Which, if true, indicates that Jane isn’t really noticing anything about their clothing at all, because nothing has changed. She’s just found a way to make them uncomfortable and is happily using it against them.

Reply

Maimou April 24, 2014 at 4:25 pm

Love the “whoever blamed it, shamed it” comment. I’m from the Deep South, and our saying was “hit dog hollers.” Basically calling out whoever commented on the stinky smell as being the perpetrator of said stinky smell.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: