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Faux Pregnancy

Not really an etiquette question more of a funny story. (Although if you have advice I’m open to it.)

So I’m 18 (19 in October) and planning a December wedding. Fiance is also 18, and no, I am not pregnant, we’re just moving in together in January and thought we’d have a small wedding beforehand.

Little bit of background, last November I was diagnosed pre-diabetic.  So a few weeks ago I went to get blood work done and thank goodness it’s cleared up. However I had my fiance drive me because I’m deathly afraid of needles and get dizzy and was in no state to drive home. The lab was backed up and so we were running late for lunch with his parents, so he shot them a text like, “Hey were running late at T’s doctor appointments. Be there around 1.” (Labs, doctor, dentist…all doctors appts. in fiance’s eye)

Next week I go in and get results from said blood work. (Fiance goes because there is a game shop a block away and he was checking them out while I saw my doctor.) Pre-diabetes is cleared up, still need to lose weight, etc. Pretty okay. Fiance’s dad invites us for movie night, and fiance say we’ll head over after T’s doctor appointment.

Two days later I have a dentist appointment and fiance does too, since we scheduled them together. Again invited over to his parents, this time because the pool is finally warm enough to swim in. “Be over after doctor’s.”

Then because I schedule ALL of my 6 month checkups around the same time (get everything done at the same time = clean bill of health for 6 months) and I have another doctor’s appt.  Gyno this time because I’m an adult now. Fiance is over at his parents and they ask where I am and he responds, “Doctors appointment.”

Fast forward to this week when we book the church and officiant. We tell his parents the date and that we already have the church booked.  Mostly so we couldn’t be guilted into a Catholic ceremony to appease his mother’s mother.

However what with the million and one “doctor’s appointments” (3 of which both of us went to) and all of a sudden (in their eyes) we’re planning a wedding, they now think I’m pregnant. His mom keeps putting her hand on my stomach (I’m pudgy but it’s not a baby bump…) and his grandma sent me a box of baby blankets and a christening gown, and now his aunt is planning me a baby shower…they will not believe that there is no baby on the way. Previously mentioned aunt guessed I’m having a girl by how I’m “carrying”.

Really not sure how to handle this but oh well… 0619-14

I’m sure by now you’ve a heart to heart talk with your future in-laws and told them,  “I will not lie to you..I am not pregnant.”   Once definitively told, in no uncertain terms, that you are not carrying a child and if they want to continue in their fantasies there isn’t a lot you can do except perhaps turn your faux pregnancy into a game.   It might be amusing to have a gender reveal cake for dessert but instead of pink or blue inside, it’s chocolate.    (Or hollow out an angel food cake so that when sliced, there is an empty cavity.)   Given time, the true state of your reproductive status will be become quite obvious and the problem will resolve itself.


Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Gee June 29, 2014, 9:06 am

    I’d be tempted to take a home pregnancy test at their house and show them the negative result.

    • Arianne August 7, 2014, 8:53 pm

      I doubt they’ll believe that.