Feel Good Friday – Tim’s Place

by admin on August 1, 2014

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Michellep August 1, 2014 at 6:23 am

Touching and inspiring. Thanks admin.

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Daisy August 1, 2014 at 10:41 am

Joyful and inspiring – just what we need everyday!

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Yankeegal77 August 2, 2014 at 9:33 am

Awww, man, who started chopping onions in here? ;)

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Anonymous August 3, 2014 at 7:20 am

I hope Tim doesn’t hug people who don’t want to be hugged, but other than that, I think it’s awesome what he’s done, running his own restaurant, and winning all of those medals in the Special Olympics. I wonder what sport he does?

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Green123 August 5, 2014 at 5:31 am

It would be a naive person who went to Tim’s Place if they didn’t want to be hugged. Rather like a vegetarian going to a steakhouse, I’d have thought.

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Anonymous August 5, 2014 at 2:12 pm

Maybe so, but it could also be a person passing through town on a road trip, or a person who just stopped in there for coffee because the line at Dunkin Donuts was too long, or pretty much anyone who hasn’t seen this video, and believes that Tim’s Place is just a cafĂ©. I don’t think that’s naive, because that’s how it is everywhere else–you walk in, order, pay, get your food, eat, and leave (or, alternatively, you might pay after eating depending on what kind of place it is). My point is, I hope hugging is optional at Tim’s Place. As for the “vegetarian in a steakhouse” analogy, eating meat is optional at steakhouses–there are always salads, and bread, and there’s usually a pasta dish on the menu or something. I don’t eat meat, and I know first-hand that those meatless options aren’t always good, but they do exist.

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Green123 August 6, 2014 at 4:36 am

You’re being obtuse, Anonymous.

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June August 11, 2014 at 8:57 am

I understand what Anonymous is saying. I am one of those people who find hugs to be deeply intimate, almost intrusive contact. I hug my children, I hug my spouse. But I can count on one hand the number of non-family members I ever hug. Nobody outside that circle ever gets a hug from me; it’s just too much for me to bear. (Adding insult to injury, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve developed crippling arthritis that make hugs incredibly painful. Even with my children, I’m more likely to squeeze their fingers or kiss a hand to show affection, rather than hugs nowadays)

As somebody who doesn’t enjoy hugs — but sometimes gets them, whether I want them or not — I can argue that, with some of the most egregious huggers, it’s not an act of generosity and sharing. It’s an act of narcissism: “Look at me! Notice me! Aren’t I a good and loving person, I hug everybody I meet!” Not every hugger is like that, I don’t mean that at all! But somebody like me eventually gets very good at seeing the difference. A repeat offender who always hugs and touches, even when you have never reciprocated and have given open, clear signals that you are made uncomfortable by this act (to the point of even saying it outright, “Please don’t, I don’t like to be touched”), and they still don’t buy a clue? That’s a big red flag to me that it’s not about me at all, it’s aaaallllll about them and what they’re getting from the act.

But this fellow in the video doesn’t seem to be that way. Having Down’s Syndrome doesn’t mean that the subject of the video is without any awareness of social cues. I would give him the benefit of the doubt; I think he could pick up pretty quickly that a handshake is better with some people. He didn’t hug everybody as they came in the door, at least not in the video; with some, he just shook hands or even just said, “Hello” and “Welcome,” and nothing more. That’s a good sign to me that he knows when to hug and when it’s unwelcome.

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