I would like to hear other’s opinions on this matter.
Is a thank you card from a widow really that important?
Earlier this year, my cousin lost her husband in a boating accident. I am not very close to my extended family, but I sent her a card and a bit of money. As far as I was concerned, that was the end of it. However, a few weeks ago, my father called asking if I had received a thank you or any sort of acknowledgement as he had not heard from her. I told him that I had not, but that I wasn’t expecting anything either. My cousin has always sent out thank you notes/acknowledgements, but she has suddenly become a widow with two children under the age of ten and is dealing with an incredible life disruption. My father did not send her a large sum (just a little more than I sent), but tends to “play games” with money and I feel his feathers are ruffled unnecessarily. What are your thoughts?
I am certain we will see her and the kids during the holidays. Maybe she’ll say something then or maybe she won’t. Personally, I feel this is a mole hill becoming a mountain. 1015-14
I think your father is a legalist with no sense of grace or mercy. Yes, it is true that etiquette encourages widows and widowers to send thank you notes to those offering their condolences, money, food, etc. Your dad has gotten his shorts in a twisted wad because a recent widow hasn’t jumped through his etiquette hoops to his satisfaction. He’s majoring on the minors and missed the larger picture of extending grace in an extremely difficult time to someone who desperately needs it.