I have twin 7 year old daughters (Thing 1 and Thing 2). They are in separate classes at school. Last year Thing 1 was in the same class as Jane. This year Thing 2 is in Jane’s class. However, they BOTH play almost every day with Jane and have extra-curricular activities with her.
Yesterday Thing 2 came home with a party invitation. On the envelope it simply says “From Jane”. Inside are the details about the party. I THINK Jane had an invite for each kid in her class and passed them out, but I was unable to confirm this with my daughter. I honestly do not know if one or both of my girls are invited. I do not feel that they both HAVE to be invited and there have been occasions when only one knows the child and only one is invited. My daughters claim that Jane said they were both invited, but I don’t want to trust the 7 year olds on that. 🙂
The invitation asks that I RSVP and it has a number. I’ve never met the mother so I don’t know if she knows that thing 1 and 2 are even sisters! I don’t want to make the mother feel obligated to invite them both when she was only intending to invite one. Is there a way I can possibly word it when I call to figure out if the invite was for one or both of my girls without seeming rude or as if I’m trying to guilt her into including both?
Mom of the Twinadoes 0204-15
As we’ve seen in recent Ehell blog stories, it is wrong to assume a young child can accurately convey information about an invitation. The bottom line is this, an adult has issued an invitation that another adult must respond to. Parents hosting birthday parties for their underage, pre-teen children must understand that their invitations are intended for adult eyes and should be worded appropriately for that audience. That means including the host’s full name, address, and telephone number in the invitation. You, as the guest parent, have an obligation to be the responder to that invitation and to affirm that the contact information is correct. Children should never, ever be used as verbal conduits between adults because the risks of misunderstandings are quite high.
Call the phone number given on the invitation and make your introductions to Jane’s mother. She is hosting at least one of your daughters to a birthday party presumably at her home so confirming her address is a good step. Once those pleasantries are over, explain to her that invitation contained no indication as to who exactly was invited and you need to confirm which one of your twin daughters is the guest. Here is how I would word that….
“I am in possession of an invitation to Jane’s birthday party but I cannot figure out to whom this invitation was meant for since there is no name on the envelope. Both of my twin daughters know Jane well so I’m not certain who has been invited. Can you please clarify for me?”
You will have informed her that there are two twin daughters that are friends of Jane’s but given her an easy out if Thing 2 was the only intended guest.