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Only Fools Envy Valentine Flowers

I have been in a long-distance relationship for several years, both of us in separate countries.  We both have careers and children from previous marriages, so we only see each other a few times a year. As such, we do a lot of celebrating “holidays” at random times throughout the year, which suits us perfectly well.  Our next visit is in the late spring, and we decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day and our birthdays together then, though several months late.

Today at work, I got a call from the front desk that I had a delivery.  I was expecting a work-related sample to come via post, and went to grab it.  Much to my surprise, it was not catheters, but a large, beautiful flower arrangement from the boyfriend.  They were entirely unexpected, but I was thrilled.

As I was walking back to my desk with the flowers, I passed by the kitchen, where two women were exiting.  Though we are a relatively small company, our two departments have almost no interaction, and I don’t know them much more than to say hello if we pass in the hallway.

One of the women asked to see the flowers.   “Oh, they’re so beautiful,” she said, and before I could thank her, she continued.   “I saw them delivered and I came right up because I was positive they were from my husband.  Aren’t you lucky?”

Before I could answer, she continued, how OF COURSE she was being silly because her husband knows what REALLY MATTERS and she’d SO MUCH RATHER that they spend their money having a REALLY GOOD TIME at a nice restaurant than something that will just DIE IN TWO DAYS and SHE HOPED that my significant other hadn’t spent ALL HIS MONEY just on that because flowers aren’t REALLY A PRESENT by themselves.

At that point, I cut her off with something like, “Well, I like them very much”, and edged past her.  Really, I don’t know this woman at all, and it is my place of work so I wanted to avoid any unnecessary drama at the time, but I feel like I could have handled it better. Any suggestions?   0213-15

This is beginning to look like “Suffer Fools Gladly” Week on Ehell.   This is a case of overactive blather mouth.   Your co-worker would have been fine had she left it at “They are so beautiful” but noooo, she keeps right on blathering revealing her own expectation that they were from her husband but realizes they were not so she keeps blathering to save face.   I think she was more uncomfortable than you were.  I would ignore her foolish blather and relish the extravagant gift from your boyfriend by displaying it prominently in your office.

{ 85 comments }

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  • Ames February 17, 2015, 3:25 am

    I believe that this woman was jealous, nothing more. She felt the need to justify her partner not sending flowers and felt the need to hide her disappointment. She clearly wanted the flowers or she would not have gone racing after them to see if they were for her.

    Don’t let people get you down, OP. She’s clearly very snarky when she doesn’t get what she expects.

    • lizza February 17, 2015, 4:15 pm

      I completely agree.

  • just4kicks February 17, 2015, 3:45 am

    I agree with admin, I think she saw the delivery and might have announced to those around her “Guess who just got sent flowers??? ME!!!”
    Maybe she was trying to save face….or maybe she should’ve stopped commenting after “aren’t you lucky!”

    My mom was a part time floral designer for many years at what was considered the best (and most expensive) flower shop in town.
    She had some really great stories from all the Valentine’s days she worked.
    The wife who came in with flowers sent from her husband, but he had sent flowers to his mistress and someone accidentally switched the cards, and threw the vase at the office door when the employee refused to give her the other woman’s address.

    A different lady who came in with a large bill from the shop, but had never received one arrangement from her husband, she found out that day that not only was her hubby cheating on her, but was spending a LOT of money sending gifts to “Steve”….double whammy!

    And an employee who got fired on the spot because a woman came in the day after Valentine’s to complain because the two dozen long stemmed roses she’d received were “TOO pink” and she wanted the cash back as well as the “right” color flowers.
    The young man who waited on her let her finish her obnoxious rant and then said to her, “Lady, there are people who are homeless and don’t know where their next meal is coming from, and you’re bitching about how we sent you the wrong shade of pink?!?”

    • Karen February 17, 2015, 8:42 am

      I would have given the employee a standing ovation.

      • Michelle February 17, 2015, 11:18 am

        Me, too Karen.

        Besides, why did she assume the shade was wrong? The person who ordered them surely picked the color/shade, right? Or was she the type of person who sends herself flowers via phone/internet ordering??

        • Miss-E February 17, 2015, 1:16 pm

          Maybe she sent them to herself??

          • Marozia February 18, 2015, 5:37 am

            There’s nothing worse than an idiot like that.

        • just4kicks February 17, 2015, 2:31 pm

          @Michelle: My mom asked about that one (“TOO pink?!?), and apparently, someone sent this woman a birthday bouquet, and she just loved THAT shade of pink….which of course, no one had any idea what shade that was.

      • NostalgicGal February 17, 2015, 12:08 pm

        I would have too, given him a standing ovation.

        • Anonymous February 19, 2015, 9:38 am

          Yeah, I would have done the same thing.

      • Kimstu February 17, 2015, 12:29 pm

        I would have totally sympathized with that employee but I would also have sympathized with the boss who fired him. “There are plenty of people with worse troubles than yours” is not an appropriate customer service response to any customer complaint, no matter how frivolous or unjustified.

        The correct response would have been something like “Madam, I’m sorry you were displeased by the flowers, but on our order form it states that the color or size may vary slightly due to availability, so I’m afraid we cannot give you a refund on this order”. If the employee wanted to soften the refusal, he could have given the customer a choice of free replacement roses from the post-Valentine’s leftovers (which most florists usually have plenty of anyway, as far as I can tell).

        But what really drops my jaw on this story is the fact that the customer “wanted the cash back” on “roses she’d received”. Either this “lady” paid to send HERSELF two dozen long-stemmed roses for Valentine’s Day (which, okay, it’s a free country, but ???), or else she was trying to get a “refund” as well as a replacement on flowers that SOMEBODY ELSE paid to have sent to her (and if so, I hope the sender found out about it and dropped her acquaintance PDQ, to coin a phrase).

        • Goldie February 17, 2015, 1:45 pm

          Re your last paragraph: you might be on to something… it’s really the only way her ridiculous demand makes any sense.

          • NostalgicGal February 17, 2015, 9:58 pm

            Yep sounds right on to me too.

        • MM February 17, 2015, 4:57 pm

          yeah, unless the employee was a teen, that response was wildly unprofessional. I don’t think firing him was totally proper; maybe just a reprimand about not trivliazing the problems of customers.

          to be honest, I hate the phrase “first world problems.”

          • Anonymous February 19, 2015, 9:48 am

            I still think that a line has to be drawn somewhere. I mean, okay, it’d be wrong to play the “First World Problem” card in this situation if someone had, say, been sent flowers that they were allergic to, or maybe a giant mutant Venus Flytrap that ate their whole family, but “TOO pink?” Unless it was a special order for a wedding (and even then, it’s questionable, because the happy couple are still going to end up married, even if the flowers are a shade off), I think “TOO pink?” is just……TOO much. Maybe the flower-shop employee did try to explain the variance in size and colour, and that lady still wouldn’t let it go. Maybe she needed a dose of perspective, before she went off to, say, terrorize the clerk at the bookstore because she was upset that Romeo and Juliet didn’t have a happy ending. As far as I’m concerned, the employee was doing society a favour.

      • just4kicks February 17, 2015, 12:39 pm

        @Karen: Me too!
        My mom said he was a great kid, and never did anything like before.
        The employees tried to get the boss to reconsider, but he didn’t change his mind.

      • Leah February 17, 2015, 2:59 pm

        That’s why I’ve come to love the phrase “first world problems.” Though I only trot it out as a self deprecating remark/reminder or with my closest friends who are lamenting for the sake of self deprecation.

        • Enna February 20, 2015, 2:43 pm

          I think it was a bit harh for the employee to get fired. Maybe a warning.

    • Skaramouche February 17, 2015, 10:30 am

      LOL, just4kicks, the woman in your last story sounds like a real tool but what do homeless people have to do with flowers? 😛
      I understand what the young man was trying to say but this obnoxious woman clearly felt that she hadn’t gotten what her husband (???) had paid for and decided to try to “return” the product. Completely and utterly idiotic? YES! However, by this logic, anyone who receives or buys the wrong thing should first give their attention to the plight of the homeless before considering a return 😛 😛
      I’m being facetious, of course, but it’s a pet peeve of mine that people trot out the “starving children in Africa” rhetoric at the drop of a hat.
      I hope that young man learned to control his tongue and found a new job!

      • Calli Arcale February 17, 2015, 4:37 pm

        My grandfather often brought up the starving children in Europe when my mother and uncles wouldn’t eat their food; he’d been a GI in WWII and on one occasion risked court-martial to give his rations to a starving girl, which rather colored his impression of wasted food. He also was with a force that liberated one of the concentration camps. So it was understandable that he’d use that particular guilt tactic on his kids. But all they could think was “fine, so pack it up and send it over there!” Which wasn’t exactly the outcome he wanted. 😛

    • Lisa H. February 17, 2015, 12:05 pm

      Why was the employee fired; he spoke the truth.

      • Tracy P February 17, 2015, 1:43 pm

        Why wouldn’t he get fired? Calling the woman a snobbish witch with a capital B might be the truth too, but it will get you fired as well.

        I agree the Skaramouche, what do the homeless have to do with her flowers? Yes, there are people with worse problems than the wrong color roses. Just because there are worse problems to have, doesn’t make the smaller ones go away.

      • iwadasn February 17, 2015, 7:34 pm

        When speaking the truth involves swearing at customers, it’s best to keep your mouth shut if you want to keep your job.

        • just4kicks February 18, 2015, 5:06 am

          I’m not sure why she demanded the cash back, a lot of the comments make sense though.
          I was, probably mistakenly, thinking it was along the lines of, “for my time and trouble, you will replace the flowers and my money!”
          ….And no, the kid shouldn’t have said that, but Valentine’s week at the flower shop was hell for the employees.
          I picked up hours there (thanks, Mom!) during one Valentine’s week, and those employees were worked long and hard.
          Sometimes 12 plus hours a day, factor in a greedy boss who refused to give customers any sort of deadline for ordering deliveries, I imagine the kid was exhausted.
          If someone called at 8:00 pm the night before V-DAY, they were guaranteed delivery, and there were MANY “Oh, crap….just realized tomorrow is Valentine’s day!!!” calls.

  • Marozia February 17, 2015, 3:55 am

    That work colleague sounds like a blathering fool!! ‘I love the flowers, they must be from my husband cos it’s Valentine’s Day’ to ‘But then, FLOWERS aren’t a real gift’.
    A patronising and pitiful smile would be the only thing I could give her.

    • Cora February 17, 2015, 1:55 pm

      Seriously. The OP could have just looked at her confused and said, “So….. your husband likes to give you gifts that aren’t real?”

      • Calli Arcale February 17, 2015, 4:37 pm

        The perfect comeback! But alas, it’s a case of “l’esprit d’escalier” — we seldom think of those perfect comebacks in time.

      • Marozia February 18, 2015, 5:40 am

        That is good comeback!! I love it!

  • B February 17, 2015, 4:26 am

    No, I don’t think you could have handled it better. You politely shut her up before she made herself look any more ridiculous. Her speech was just cringeworthy. Really, how much did she mind?! In your place, I would probably have laughed (I bet half your office did when that one went around).

    Enjoy your beautiful flowers!

  • PatGreen February 17, 2015, 4:27 am

    It sounds like someone stuck their foot in their mouth, tried to keep talking to cover it up, and ended up making it worse. First she shares a funny story about thinking the flowers are for her. Then she realizes the story isn’t that funny and is worried that she is coming off as neglected by her husband so she tries to correct that. Then the whole thing spirals out of control.

    Alternately she could have felt jealous that her expectations of flowers were not met and she was lashing out at you, sort of like the kid sees another kid’s birthday party, loudly talking about his or her birthday party to come which will have a bigger cake, and a clown, and ponies.

    • Jess February 17, 2015, 11:04 pm

      so accurate and you see it in so many situations!
      and it doesn’t seem to be limited by age or gender…
      Johnny catches a big fish, Bobby launches into a story about the time he caught a ~WAY~ bigger fish with a smaller rod and in worse conditions… eye roll

  • Mustard February 17, 2015, 6:20 am

    Of course flowers are ‘a present by themselves’! Don’t let your co-worker spoil your enjoyment of the bouquet.

    • LonelyHound February 17, 2015, 10:34 am

      I never did understand the concept of “real presents”. What did hubby get you for Valentine’s Day, LonelyHound? Chocolates. Oh…that is not a real present. Yes. Yes, it is. He went out of his way to go out and buy me something he thought I would enjoy. He thought of me, thought of what I liked, and went out a got it.

      When did the thought and feelings behind a gift get lost to the price tag of a gift?

      • B February 17, 2015, 4:01 pm

        My husband bought me spinach once. Yes, it was a present, and yes, I was happy. Fresh mature spinach is a lot harder to find than a bottle of champagne.

  • Miss-E February 17, 2015, 6:21 am

    As stupid as it sounds: haters gonna hate. It couldn’t be more obvious that this woman was jealous and I think the OP handled it perfectly. It’s like how people pick on someone for ordering salad because they feel bad they’re eating a triple cheeseburger with double-fried onion rings. Jealousy and insecurity.

    • Anonymous February 17, 2015, 8:33 am

      Yup…….I think we can look to Taylor Swift here. The haters gonna hate, hate, hate hate, hate, and you just have to shake it off:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

      • AthenaC February 17, 2015, 12:07 pm

        Just think – while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, you coulda been getting down to this. sick. beat.

        • Jess February 17, 2015, 11:12 pm

          this is gold

  • Callalilly February 17, 2015, 8:14 am

    Probably trying to save face. I have to admit — to my utter shame — that I’ve done the same thing once or twice.

    If not trying to save face — maybe her hubs really wouldn’t buy her flowers — she might be one of those people who feel compelled to weigh in on EVERYTHING, laboring under the misconception that anyone would be at all interested in her many many opinions. .

  • ia February 17, 2015, 8:24 am

    This is the millennia old fable about the fox and the sour grapes in modern setting. Though the woman in question found many more words describing the particular sourness 😀 !

    • admin February 17, 2015, 8:43 am

      Very good observation.

    • JO February 17, 2015, 7:49 pm

      I loved Aesop’s fables as a child 🙂 that one came to my mind reading this, too 🙂

  • ergala February 17, 2015, 9:34 am

    I deal with this on a daily basis. I noticed that some people just cannot stand the good fortune or happy events in the lives of others. For example, I bought a new video game. I am really excited and am discussing it with another gamer friend of mine whom plays another competing game in the same genre. All I hear is how how stupid they heard this game was and how it is obviously pay to win (it’s not by the way…). I even offered to help them try it if they wanted to and we could play together to which they declared NOTHING can compete with the game they play (I played that one for 7 years.). Okey dokey.

    I am having a surgical procedure done in a few months that will change my life for the better. I have a friend who is also an ex whose exwife had the same thing done, only she ended up gaining all her weight back from bad eating. When he heard I was having a similar procedure done he immediately started telling me how I will gain the weight back because his exwife did, and how I’m going to be in so much pain after. Also how I can’t eat so many foods after and I’m going to be miserable. Dude, I have waited 2 years to do this. I tried every stinking diet under the sun. I would rather not be able to eat rice than be like this for the rest of my life. Plus I have a condition that prevents me from losing weight, this procedure cures that condition. Stop raining on my parade and say “I’m so happy for you!”

    • AIP February 17, 2015, 4:43 pm

      Fair play to yeh! 😉

    • JO February 17, 2015, 7:51 pm

      How wonderful you are taking steps to make your life better! Good luck 🙂

    • Muffy February 17, 2015, 11:25 pm

      Good luck Ergala, you know what you’re doing.

    • ergala February 18, 2015, 6:13 pm

      Thanks ya’ll! Today I made the decision to tell some of my online gaming buddies my plans and one of them actually told me he had an easier way…to just put down the sandwich O_o I didn’t fan the flames and instead told him that if it was as simple as that I would be rail thin by now. Everyone else was high fiving me and telling me that no matter what I’m still awesome and make them laugh. That meant a lot to me 🙂

      • NostalgicGal February 19, 2015, 3:14 am

        You Go, Girl! Rock’m!

    • Amanda H. February 19, 2015, 7:20 pm

      Ok, as a fan of video games, now you have me curious about what game you got. 🙂

      Best of luck with the procedure! I hope it’s nothing but successful for you!

      • Ergala March 9, 2015, 12:26 pm

        Amanda, Archeage 🙂

  • crebj February 17, 2015, 9:48 am

    Two lessons: How To Do It, as taught by OP, and How NOT to Do It, as taught by her coworker.

  • Goldie February 17, 2015, 9:48 am

    I like how she says “time at a nice restaurant” is a real gift, but flowers are not, because they’ll be dead in a few days! Evil me would be tempted to say, “Your restaurant meal will be in the toilet long before my flowers die – at least I hope it will – you might need medical attention if it won’t.”

    OP, I’ve been in semi-long relationships (one an hour apart, the other one two hours apart), where both sides also had family and work responsibilities that we’ve had to juggle and schedule our times together around them, and even that is extremely difficult. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for your and your boyfriend. Good on him for sending you the flowers, I’m sure they made your day, no matter what the silly coworker had to say about them!

    • Goldie February 17, 2015, 1:49 pm

      That should be “semi-long distance” relationships. (although they were/are also semi-long, heh heh) Sorry; just saw the typo.

    • plainbelliedsneetch February 17, 2015, 2:38 pm

      I had the same response. It’s always nice to find someone with a mind as evil as mine!

      Besides, a dozen roses is a lovely gift for maybe $40. That might get an okay dinner for two at a mid-price restaurant if there’s no drinks or dessert involved. It’s not likely to empty an adult’s bank account.

    • ergala February 17, 2015, 4:51 pm

      “So you’re husband is giving you calories and food related guilt. My love is giving me something beautiful because he thinks I’m beautiful…” but then again that would just be wrong.

  • lolkay February 17, 2015, 9:53 am

    I adore flowers, but didn’t receive them often until recently in life.
    When people insult me for how they will just “die anyways”, I shrug it off. Flowers make me happy, and that’s all that matters.

    I feel the coworker was jealous more than anything, so don’t worry about her too much OP. Your boyfriend did a great gesture,

  • GeenaG February 17, 2015, 10:09 am

    This was an encounter with a woman who had to run down what the OP received to make her feel better about her own lack of or inferior VD gifts in order to make herself feel superior. Its mean spirited and extremely immature. The OP said she rarely crosses path with the kitchen workers and she should be grateful for that because she had a nasty encounter with a nasty busybody of a woman.

  • Elizabeth February 17, 2015, 10:51 am

    You handled this just fine in the moment. This woman was annoyed that the flowers weren’t for her and then sought to diminish the gift with a negative opinion of it (but she wanted them to be for her!) – BUT remember that her opinion was neither requested nor welcomed.

    She’s told you much about herself in this short exchange – keep your distance from this unpleasant person.

  • Cat February 17, 2015, 10:58 am

    I suppose there will always be people who feel it is their duty to rain on your parade. She would have liked to have had flowers from her husband delivered to her work address and was disappointed to learn that they were for you and not for her.
    Sometimes it is just a case of making a statement that does not quite fit. It was my sister-in-law’s birthday and I sent her a flower arrangement. She was standing in her yard chatting with a neighbor when the flowers arrived.
    The neighbor, seeing the florist van pull in and the delivery person coming up the drive with the flowers, turned to my SIL and remarked, “Well, somebody loves you.” She thought it would be from my brother or from one of their sons. My SIL read the card and dead-panned, “Yep, my SIL loves me.”

    • Tracy W February 18, 2015, 4:17 am

      How lovely that you sent your SIL a flower arrangement. For some reason I’d never thought of doing that to my SIL. Maybe I will her next birthday.

  • Lee February 17, 2015, 10:59 am

    And jealousy rears its ugly head. Every office seems to have one of these women. I recall once having a bouquet on my desk, provided by the caterer at a lunch and learn session we had held, that we didn’t want to throw out, so I had brought it back to my desk after cleaning up the room. A colleague came over and told me almost the exact same thing as the OP’s colleague. We had a laugh after she left, realizing she was jealous of the caterer’s flowers. OP, I hope your colleague’s reaction didn’t dampen your delight at receiving a lovely gift from your boyfriend.

  • Ashley February 17, 2015, 11:23 am

    So she goes running up there because she thinks the flowers are from her husband (which means she wants them) but then after she realizes they aren’t for her, suddenly they “aren’t a real gift”?

    Wow. I think your reaction was good, it showed her that it doesn’t matter what she thinks of YOUR flowers.

  • kit February 17, 2015, 11:52 am

    I’m afraid that food at a nice restaurant will be gone to waste even sooner than in two days. 😉

  • Lfa February 17, 2015, 12:09 pm

    I’ve had friends like that, who always have to find a reason why whatever they’re doing, receiving, choosing, etc. is better than you. In high school, if someone else got their drivers license first, it was because Missy was ‘too busy with her honors classes and cheerleading to take the time for drivers’ ed (actually somewhat reasonable),’ when we all started getting married, Missy’s dress ‘came from a historic local boutique…’ when I know exactly the store she purchased it from, and while it’s perfectly nice, there’s nothing remarkable about it.

    Some people just want to blow out others’ candles even though it doesn’t make their own any brighter. Keep shining.

  • NostalgicGal February 17, 2015, 12:11 pm

    Betting she thought they were for her, did some announcing to that effect, found out they weren’t… then did foot in mouth trying to get around/out/justify all that.

    After a good three decades of marriage we’ve never done flowers, candy, jewelry, a night out… for Valentine’s Day. He knows he’s married, we know we love each other, and if I want to, I smell the roses at the store in the ‘buy me’ display and that works just fine.

    Ignore. Enjoy your flowers OP.

    • Goldie February 17, 2015, 1:56 pm

      Yup, same here. One marriage, three serious relationships, and the only time a SO and I did something for Valentine’s Day was in the most dysfunctional relationship I’ve had this far. With everyone else, it’s been like you say – we already know all these things.

      I’m NOT, of course, saying this to knock OP’s gift, heaven forbid – I’m saying this because not getting a Valentine’s Day gift, from a husband or SO, would probably be dead last on my list of things to get upset about. OP’s silly coworker got herself all worked up and made a fool of herself for nothing.

      • AthenaC February 17, 2015, 3:38 pm

        Too funny – like you, the only times I’ve been treated to the traditional trappings of romance were in the unhealthy relationships. Not necessarily the hellishly abusive dysfunctional ones (although that one, too, had plenty of romance), but unhealthy just the same.

        My favorite is the one guy I dated who would actually take the time to plan dates (i.e. show up with flowers, make a restaurant reservation, have a special dessert and candles waiting back at his place) was just distracting himself because his engagement had ended. Also, he has the honor of being the only guy who has canceled a date because he was being detained by the military police. No lie. And etiquette props to him for using his phone call to call me so I wasn’t waiting for him.

      • NostalgicGal February 17, 2015, 10:09 pm

        Your last sentence, exactly.

    • PatGreen February 17, 2015, 8:53 pm

      My DH’s falls very close to Valentine’s Day, so we just celebrate that instead.

  • ketchup February 17, 2015, 12:25 pm

    Enjoy your beautiful flowers. It’s a great gesture. I hope you’ll have a wonderful, late Valentine’s Day.

  • Kimstu February 17, 2015, 12:56 pm

    If you must comment on a co-worker’s carrying flowers, stick to either conventional expressions of admiration or the old standby “For me?! Oh Co-worker, you shouldn’t have!” (To which Co-worker smilingly replies “Don’t worry, I didn’t!”)

    Don’t ask who the flowers are from (unless you know Co-worker well enough to chat about their personal relationships), don’t make heavy-handed or tasteless insinuations about Co-worker’s “secret admirer” or “bit on the side”, and don’t make Co-worker a speech about your views on the floral industry, the political/social/cultural implications of using flowers to symbolize love, the commercialization of gift-giving traditions, or anything else.

  • mark February 17, 2015, 12:59 pm

    I wouldn’t read too much into this ladies motivation/character. Like others have said it could just be a foot in mouth attack. It could be a dozen things. I think you handled it well. Cut it short and went back to work.

  • Tex Carol February 17, 2015, 1:06 pm

    How blessed you were to get such a lovely gift on a special day! The poor woman simply stuck her foot in her mouth and then continued to try to talk around it!

  • rachel February 17, 2015, 1:14 pm

    Ridiculous way for a grown woman to behave, especially at her job.

  • Gabriele February 17, 2015, 4:21 pm

    A woman I worked with received a beautiful bouquet of red roses…two dozen, long-stemmed ones….delivered to work. She put them on her desk and when I complimented her on them she didn’t say much. We both worked late and when others had left she asked me if I wanted to take them home…seems the sender was her live-in boyfriend and in an argument he had hit her. First time, last time as she said…she moved out that night.
    The roses were meant to be an apology but she was firm and I really respected her for it. With that story, I didn’t want the roses either so I suggested we leave them near the fountain in the open area between the office building and the parking garage…let someone find them and enjoy them. The roses were beautiful and it wasn’t their fault it was an ______ who sent them.
    She agreed and she put them on the edge of the fountain (where people could also sit) and then we left.
    She was fortunate in that she could move in with her brother and I was fortunate to see another woman draw the line on physical abuse and walk away from the relationship.

    I love flowers but rather than wait for someone to get some for me I go to the Flower Mart (I’m in LA and the wholesale markets have days when retail customers can shop there also) and I get some for myself and I usually get some for female friends just because we both like flowers and we like each other. Flowers don’t have to be just for special occasions…just enjoy them for their beauty.
    And roses? I always save the petals and make sachets which can last a long time…so if I were in the OP’s situation I would have replied that they’d last longer than two days (in fact, with the available ‘treatments’ they’ll last a week) as I dried the petals for sachets, which lasted years.
    The advice about ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’ is still so true…

  • AIP February 17, 2015, 4:51 pm

    Lady, (not OP, Jealous Janet), if your cut flowers “die in two days”, you’re actively trying to kill them!

    I’ve often forgotten to vase flowers for a few days and even tulips will manage a couple of days without water. I can get a week out of them managing them properly. Chuck enough sugar, and a little bit of bleach/sterilising fluid, in the vase I have seen the likes of carnations and lilies lasting 2 weeks!

  • ergala February 17, 2015, 4:54 pm

    Okay I have to laugh now that I remember what my husband did one year. He asked his coworker if it was okay that he stop at the 24 hour big chain grocery store on their way home from work. My husband would give him rides home. Go figure it was now Valentine’s Day and the coworker had forgotten. Hubby mentioned he wanted to get me something. So coworker felt inspired and picked up his wife some flowers and chocolate milk. Hey she looooves chocolate milk. My husband got in line with two things. My favorite energy drink and a bonsai tree. His coworker looked at the tree and asked my husband why on earth he was getting me that instead of flowers. His response “Why get her already cut flowers when I can get the woman a whole tree…”. He also thought I wouldn’t be able to kill it and knew I always wanted a bonsai tree. Well I did kill it. This year I was given a cactus….just wait and see…

    • Ulla February 18, 2015, 3:57 am

      Hehe 😀 This is why I btw like cut flowers 😀 When they wither and die, it’s not my fault. I have brown thumb. And currently two dead cactuses.

      • Markko February 18, 2015, 9:44 am

        Ulla,
        Off the subject of course, but with roses it is quite possible for them to have bowed their blossoms and withered by the next day. Roses can be stored at 33 degrees an a special chamber for as long at a month. It may slow their aging greatly under these conditions, but changes still occur. When brought into normal air, temperatures, and light they age very rapidly. This is why many florists wire the stems to keep them from drooping so soon. For many florists, the point is the impact the roses have when they are received. Please understand I am only talking about roses; many other flowers could not stand these conditions without being utterly destroyed. Believe it or not, the roses that will last the longest are the ones on display at grocery stores and such. They are picked fresh and untreated because they are expected to last long enough under normal conditions to at least be bought. Not all florists will use these treated roses, but if your were dead in two days I’m betting they did.

        • ergala February 18, 2015, 6:09 pm

          If it’s an indoor plant it dies. If I can plant it outside it lives forever and flourishes. The reason…I forget it’s there and therefore my touch of death doesn’t kill it.

          • NostalgicGal February 19, 2015, 3:22 am

            ‘Mother in Law Tongue’ or ‘snake plant’. It is a sort of spiky long leaf plant and survives incredible abuse usually. Pot it in a big enough pot, put it in a big enough catcher, and make a note to water the bejeezus out of it once a month. It should be happy for you. 🙂 (unless you live in a situation where you fight single digit humidity often, even with a humidifier this is an issue. In which case make it a weekly chore to pour some water in the plant)

  • Maggie February 18, 2015, 7:45 am

    I bet that co-worker will feel pretty silly later if her SO does send flowers… Would they still not be a “real gift?”

  • Angel February 19, 2015, 5:38 pm

    Some people–it just kills them to see other people happy! Misery loves company and all that. OP enjoy your flowers!

  • Amanda February 20, 2015, 12:17 pm

    My mom actually ordered flowers to be delivered to me at work this year. She put in the address and specific room number as I work in a building with 18 floors and multiple offices within it. When she realized she put her name in the deliver to field the delivery company freaked out and failed to deliver the flowers. Then, when they did deliver them, they were delivered to the “garage” (my building doesn’t have a garage) to a woman with my mom’s same first name. No ID checked, no signature, just “here you go”. The lady then called and complained because she didn’t know who this lady was that would address her in such a manner and send her flowers. Why accept them if you didn’t know who they were from?!?!

  • Enna February 20, 2015, 2:49 pm

    This lady was clearly being silly. I could understand her being disappointed that the flowers weren’t from her spouse but there was no need to spout off ike that.