I would love to know what the Etiquette Hell community thinks about this situation and whether I should respond or just ignore this ridiculousness.
My father passed away of cancer in October. Because my parents live a few hours from the rest of the family, the funeral was held on a Saturday, about a week after his death.
Almost all of my mother’s family attended, some driving 8 hours to attend. My Uncle (my mother’s brother) drove 3 hours to attend, but came alone. My Aunt said she wasn’t coming because she couldn’t close her small boutique for the day. Their five children also did not attend (all are in their 20s and 30s), though none called to say why they wouldn’t be there.
My mother’s sisters and parents were offended at the absence of my Aunt and cousins, while my mother had other things on her mind obviously, but after the fact has acknowledged their absence was at minimum rude.Sadly, my Uncle is also battling cancer and it has spread, with doctors only giving him a few months longer. This is where the situation has become ridiculous. One of his daughters has posted on Facebook several times with a variation of “there is NO excuse for missing a family funeral.” Another cousin reminded her that she missed my father’s funeral, though that comment was quickly deleted. My Aunt called my mother to update her on my Uncle’s condition and told her that “you better be at the funeral,” and implied to my grandparents and other Aunts that my mother, my brother and I would probably not go just out of spite.My mother is outraged; she wouldn’t miss her brother’s funeral for anything, regardless of what happened in the past. I am shocked that they are talking about my Uncle’s funeral when he is not yet at end of life (they are continuing treatment, so there is always hope).I have no idea how to handle this situation that is quickly getting out of control for absolutely no reason. My Uncle is still alive, but we will all attend his funeral when the time comes. We feel under attack when it was never said or even hinted that we would get our “revenge” by not attending. Do we ignore these comments? Do we remind them that they all seemed to have an excuse for not attending a family funeral in the past? 0218-15