This is a story about poor decisions made while being young and reckless. Through these respective experiences I have been taught a difficult lesson regarding the importance of surrounding yourself with quality people, as well as avoiding situations that potentially endanger you. When I was interacting with the individuals mentioned, I truly believed that everyone was good at heart and that if they were having a hard time, I could somehow “change” them through patience & understanding. How naive and stupid. These events are what grew my backbone and acutely shaped my personal conduct and decision making.
While attending college on the East Coast I made the decision to move off campus for my sophomore year and found a roommate through craigslist. He was an older male, ex-navy and going to the same school as me on the GI bill. All was well for the first few weeks, until it became increasingly apparent that he had a significant drinking problem which he had hid successfully from our mutual friends as well as myself for the first few weeks we were living together. He became unpredictable and aggressive at all times, he began stealing my things & eating my food but when I put my foot down the day I was headed out of town for the weekend he proceeded to threaten me with extreme violence/rape. I was bombarded with sexually explicit messages and graphics through both my text messages as well as my email, & truly began to fear for my safety. This in response to me requesting that he pays me back $3.57 for my breakfast, which he ate in a drunken stupor & then spewed all over the living room.
At this point, I got my parents, the local police and our landlord involved with the situation. My roommate was evicted by my landlord, the police began escorting me to school while my restraining order went through the court system and my parents installed a GPS tracking device with my consent on my phone so they could track my whereabouts at all times to make sure I was safe. Needless to say, besides trying to focus on my studies I was living in constant fear of the roommate returning to my apartment in violation of the court order to assault me. This submission has less to do with the horrendous individual with whom I previously lived, but an acquaintance whom I shall call M that lived on the same floor as me my freshman year when I still lived on campus. I include the information pertaining to my former roommate so as to paint a clear picture of my living circumstances/frame of mind.
One evening I had just finished eating dinner and went through the nightly routine of locking all doors/windows, pulling down the blinds, making sure I had pepper spray and a knife on hand (this was recommended to me by the cops who had gone out of their way to check up on me) when there was a knock on the door. I was absolutely terrified, as I had not expected any visitors and had gone out of my way that semester to disappear & cut social ties entirely in preparation for a quiet transfer and out-of-state move to escape the former roommate. Pepper spray in hand, I looked through the peephole and saw M. Confused, still feeling scared and very cautious, I opened the door to ask what I may do for him.
Let’s take a step back – when M & I met freshman year, he was quite a habitual 420 participant, which I had no problem with. Through rather bizarre circumstances several months later I was given an incredible amount of marijuana by a friend, and being as I had no intention of smoking it and didn’t know what to do with it so I called the only person I knew (M) and gave it to him. In hindsight this was incredibly reckless. If I had known that the “gift” I was being given was an illicit substance I would have never accepted it, let alone passed it along to someone I didn’t entirely trust. The transaction occurred at my apartment, which is how M knew where I lived.
Fast forward to the evening he knocked on my door – M informed me that the school was kicking him out for some vague reason, and would I mind letting him live with me so he could continue his relationship with his girlfriend while he went through the appeals process with the university? I’m pretty sure the only mumbled response I had was, “Um…. Excuse me?!” When I realized he was in earnest, I immediately said no and told him that my main reason for denying his request was due to the fact that I was involved in a delicate living situation at the moment, and that I had the cops and my landlord keeping close tabs on me – knowing it would be the last thing he would want while he continued to deal drugs around campus. He became increasingly agitated, & whined, “Well, I already told my parents that I’d be living here – they’re outside ready to help me move in.”
Sure enough, I peek around him and out in front of my place is a couple in a minivan that is packed with M’s possessions. They were sitting in the idling car with the back door slid open, so the interior lights shone upon all of his things, giving the impression that they were going to chuck his stuff out, slam the door & peel out of there. I immediately walked out, introduced myself, and told his parents that under no circumstances could their son move in with me. I didn’t even state my reasons (and there were plenty), I just told them no and to never come back to my home again. They offered an insincere apology, but then began to beg and attempt to guilt me into taking in their son. Completely dumbfounded, I continued to say no. It eventually came out that he had been driving around campus/town with his parents stopping at every house/apartment where he knew someone that lived there hoping that someone would take him in. It was the most bizarre and uncomfortable exchange I’ve ever had in my entire life, but the fact that these parents were completely ok with dumping their son off on the first person whom they could successfully bully into taking in their child was absolutely astounding. The good news is, I am no longer in the habit of making stupid decisions about the situations I put my self in or the people I surround myself with. I never did hear about M or what happened to him and his parents. 0419-15
You gave a significant amount of marijuana to a drug dealer? You could have taken it to the police and ratted on the “gift” giver or simply trashed it. But lesson learned.