I have an Etiquette Hell story regarding Thank You cards, but not the typical story about never receiving one.
About one or two weeks after we brought our baby home from the hospital, my husband’s dad and step-mom visited us and gave us a gift from one of their friends in the community who we had never met. This was not abnormal. We actually received quite a few baby gifts from their friends we had never met before. My in-laws are very involved in their community, especially with the school, and I guess the couple that gave us the gift were higher-ups in the school. It was a toy for 2+ so I stored the gift and did not immediately write up a Thank You note as I was caring for a my first baby and it wasn’t top on the priority list!
Maybe a week later, I received a text from my step-mother-in-law saying, “Did you ever send a thank you note to Mr and Mrs Smith?” I responded “Not yet, I’ve been busy.” She proceeded to tell me, “Make sure you do it pretty soon.” Now, please note this was not 3 months after I received the gift, it was no more than one week. She then told me that she had just attended this couple’s daughter’s baby shower and, “I received a thank you note from her 3 days after the shower!” Wow! This was exceptionally rude in my eyes because when my step-MIL had thrown me a baby shower, I promptly got 20-30 thank you notes out within the week. And, all the while my daughter was in the NICU and had been for some time! And here we are, after just bringing baby home, and she is ragging on me for not sending a thank you note out to this couple within a week, and then bragging that THEIR daughter sent her a thank you note within 3 days of her baby shower!
I think the worst part of the whole ordeal was that it was all about image to step-MIL. If her daughter-in-law didn’t send out a thank you promptly, it would (in her eyes) reflect badly on HER, especially since this couple were “higher-ups” in the school/community. That probably hurt the most. No matter that my daughter had just had a 2 month stint in the NICU and I had JUST brought her home, no no… It had to be about her and how she appeared to other people! 0511-15